Italian Banks Crash To New Lows Despite Passing Self-Defined Stress-Test

Tyler Durden's picture

Have no fear, Banco Popolare has run its own stress test (on itself) and has stated that it is "resilient to shocks." However, it appears investors do not believe them as Italian banks, led by Monte Paschi (which as a reminder is under a short-sale ban) plunged to new record lows.

 Banco Popolare SC said stress tests using the same criteria as the European Banking Authority’s review later this month show the Italian lender’s “resilience” to adverse shocks.

 

The company said it can’t communicate the results of the European Union-wide stress tests, which will be disclosed July 29, according to a stock exchange statement Thursday.

  • *BANCO POPOLARE SAYS IT'S CONDUCTED INTERNAL STRESS EXERCISE
  • *BANCO POPOLARE: IT'S INTERNAL STRESS TEST APPLIES EBA CRITERIA
  • *BANCO POPOLARE: INTERNAL TEST CONFIRMS RESILIENCE TO SHOCKS

So everything is awesome then?

Hhmmm...

Investorsd are not buying it...

 

Simply put, as we noted, this is CDS-driven equity-selling not shorting..

 

Meanwhile, DB drops back to record lows...

 

Charts: Bloomberg

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Il Dottore's picture
Il Dottore (not verified) Jul 7, 2016 10:45 AM

Own Stress Test? Yeah fuck that

Mr. Kwikky's picture

Just keep snorting you fuckers!

ARROW up ARROW down..floating in the sea of shit.

knukles's picture

Why?  I still have checques in the book!
Explain that to me Mr Smartypants!

Mr. Kwikky's picture

I have hardcore gold/silver shining when I open my safe..
Call it intrinsic value, in time of crises 'I still have checques in the book!' stands for 'Go wipe your ass with it..'

This system is build on quicksand! It's over in an instant..

Raffie's picture
Self-Defined Stress-Test is same as Hillery vouching for herself?

 

SpanishGoop's picture

"Hey Mario, can youa make me a pizza in 30 minutes"

"Si, i can, no problemo"

"Youa passed mio test."

 

SpanishGoop's picture

Italian bank stress test.

All employees of the bank go out and start pushing against the left side of the building.

If the building doesn't tilt over like that thingy in Pisa, the bank passed the test.

 

DetectiveStern's picture

I did a self stress test. I spent 3 minutes reading SJW tweets. I failed.

SpanishGoop's picture

No problem, go for the bail-in, bail-out or bail-whatever option.

 

thismarketisrigged's picture

is this the lowest DB has been since lehman?

Raffie's picture

http://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/db

 

Hard to say if lowest, BUT the now is a bit more important.

There is a global limbo contest and Deutsche Bank is winning.

assistedliving's picture
Bankers On A Ship

What’s the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe?
A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm; a catastrophe is when they can all swim.

Banker In A Brothel

– “On your resume you wrote that for 3 years you worked as a pianist in a brothel.”
– “Hmm, actually, I was a banker, but I do not like to talk about it.”

zippy_uk's picture

This Italian bank thing - is this like that pass the parcel game where everytime the music stops, another layer of the balance sheet gets unwrapped until

finally the last creditor at the end of the process recieves the prize (brown, smells, takes alot of effort to clean up) ?

Kido's picture

Risk to this exposure is minimal, risk to that exposure is negligible.... Tadaaaa we passed!

carbonmutant's picture

Why don't we fine Spain and Portugal for the extra money?

kanselier's picture

I did a stress test months ago: i decided to short their lousy ass. I was right :)

Swamp Yankee's picture

Holy hell. 

Did anyone see the spoof flick "Last Remake of Beau Geste" starring Michael York, Marty Feldman and Ann Margart wherein General Geste has been dying, could go any time now, for the past 25 years?

For Dog's sake crash already!    -SY

oncemore's picture

If the banks in Italy runa stress test, they should use Deutsche Bank as 100% resilience on the scale.

All of them would pass ANY stress test with such a competitor.

hcho3's picture

Italy cannot even balance their budget... why would I believe ur ugly STRESS TEST? 

oldguy1's picture

It's all good, they can still pay their bills in pizza.

Gold, Silver and Pizza are REAL MONEY....

Italian court rules divorced chef can pay child support in pizza

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016/06/03/italian-court-rules-chef-can-p...