Deutsche Bank Gives Up: "We Can't Think Of A Time The S&P Was More Disjointed From Everything"

Tyler Durden's picture

When sellside strategists, such as Deutsche Bank's David Bianco, throw in the towel and the best they can come up with is a 100 word admission that nothing makes sense anymore, and that the S&P has never been "more disjointed from other assets", it's either a time to sell everything... or buy anything.

From DB:

For many years we've watched a set of market based indicators across seven major asset classes to help gauge cyclical conditions and S&P reward/risk. We can't think of a time the S&P was more disjointed from these other asset class price moves than in recent days. While we believe interest rates have shifted structurally and thus discount falling rates and a flatter curve as signs of recession, indeed many of our signal criteria need recalibration, recent swings across asset classes still warrant caution and do have direct negative implications for S&P EPS. Offsetting PE upside is unlikely until norms are reestablished and the economic relationships better understood.

And here are some random charts to make it seems like there is some signal in the infinite noise that the Fed has created with its constant meddling.


And this is what DB's 7 cross-asset "signals" indicate:

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TradingIsLifeBrah's picture
TradingIsLifeBrah (not verified) Jul 9, 2016 5:32 PM

DB should take a look at its stock price if it wants to see something disjointed from reality #MarkItZero

kliguy38's picture

DB knows they're toast.....they're just tryin' to take some of the Boyz down with them.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

S&P is disjoint like… oh, don't know, like maybe $5T of derivative is abstract disjoint from fundamental and underly value? Please, give Boris break!

O C Sure's picture

If long yields are set to negative, then stock prices are set to infinity.

But since neither a negative nor an infinite can exist, you may find your br[a]ke...



max2205's picture

It's the Fed balance sheet market....always a finger over the sell all button in case it contracts and the party ends... $amzn 1,000?

O C Sure's picture

It has always been a fed balance sheet market since their counterfeiting began.


Yes, AMZN 1000 provided there are not 17 rate hikes like just before 2006 housing crash/2008 shadow market burned-by-the-light. 

AND, even if it does not hit a grand before the inevitable cessation of counterfeiting, then once the feiters re-count again then it will hit 1000 (considering that it remains a viable business and no splits.)

Keyser's picture

What we are witnessing is no less than the ESF doing the bidding of Obozo... He DEMANDS that the economy (ie stock market) improve during his administration, so the order goes out for the markets to defy gravity, logic and sanity... Much like his dismisal of the race problems he has created in the US, he denies reality from that bubble he lives in... 

cdevidal's picture

Douche Bank calling the S&P "disconnected"? LOL...

*Ring* *ring* *ring* "Hello?"

"Hey pot it's kettle. Listen..."

slowimplosion's picture

And sure it was Bush that told Greenspan to "get this party started" and set this whole house of cards in motion. 

Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) Boris Alatovkrap Jul 10, 2016 8:15 AM

They're 10x more delusional than that.

Kurpak's picture

There's a chart missing that would overlay perfectly with this presentation- their stock price

eforce's picture

DB is like Hodor holding back the ice zombies, except in this case they are CDO's, and then you have Yellen stabbing them in the side.

Hopefully they can hold on until end of summer.

kliguy38's picture

Agree .....I'm not looking forward to won't be pretty for any of least those of us that survive the first tsunami

TheVillageIdiot's picture

How low an integer should it be do you think? Given the apocalyptic size of derivatives under its purview...

fbazzrea's picture

markets are so skewed there is no rhyme or reason, just robotraders gone awry.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

History is not repeat, but is sometime rhyme. 2016 is rhyme with 2008, no?

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

2008 is bring global market crash, after much quantitative ease, 2016 is much cash, in 2008 Lehman Brother is tank, in 2016, will be Douche Bank.

There, is rhyme. You are happy now?!

WmMcK's picture

You sounding more like Nostradamus now.  Mean that in good way.

WmMcK's picture

More than rhyme, it is couplet like 1921/29.

RawPawg's picture

this is what happens when to busy your watching your neighbors backyard instead of minding your own yard.

Panic Mode's picture

Call yourself *Disjoint* Bank is more appropriate.

HRH of Aquitaine's picture
HRH of Aquitaine (not verified) Jul 9, 2016 5:34 PM

Deutsche Bank is that your best shot? Seriously? Okay, when the derivatives scum sucking whores at DB go down in flames get back to me. Some of us think that Douche Bank could ruin the entire fucking banking system!

debtor of last resort's picture

You don't like fake promises DB?

Well, you've got 75 trillion of them sloshing around.

saveUSsavers's picture

The m-phucker doesn't even mention NON-GAAP (legal) FRAUD ?


arsewhole in search of lamppost

TradingIsLifeBrah's picture
TradingIsLifeBrah (not verified) saveUSsavers Jul 9, 2016 5:44 PM

I don't see any problem with Non-GAAP because if you don't like it then don't look at it.  Use whichever metrics you want.  Other investors will do the same.  People mainly use Non-GAAP to get a general sense of how the company is performing and then do more detailed analysis thereafter.  You won't find many major hedge funds or active mutual funds that run non-GAAP numbers and base all of their decisions on that.  Dumb money will always be dumb money, if they are fooled by non-GAAP they can easily be fooled with GAAP (e.g. executives say, "pay attention to our Revenue or Operating Profit or Earnings before tax or Net Income or Operating Cash Flow or Working Capital" or whatever else there is in GAAP that tells the story they want to tell).

Tinky's picture

I just put your analysis into Google Translate and this was the result:

I don't see any problem with propaganda that is intrinsically designed to mislead the masses, because if you don't like it, don't look at it. Use whichever alternative news sources you want. Other citizens can do the same.  People mainly consume propaganda through the MSM in order to get a general sense of how a company/economy/politicians, etc. are performing, and the fact that they rarely have the time, energy, or intelligence to do more detailed analysis is irrelevant.

You won't find many of the big money elite basing their decisions on the very propaganda that they largely sponsor, and as far as those who do – fuck 'em!

Nid's picture

Btw, when that POS Tom Lee comes on CNBC and tells "investors" that the mkt is farily valued based on forward EPS of $145, does he mention that a full 30% of that number is non-GAAP, aka Made-Up?

DeathMerchant's picture

I'm going with sell everything

GotGalt's picture

I would sell everything now ... except that I had already sold everything before!

NubianSundance's picture

I think a lot of the peeps commenting on this here thread don't understand the term 'we will do what ever it takes'. They probably already are.

SR 16-12 FTW's picture

It's the Fed stupid! Would love someone, maybe wikileaks, to get a hold of the Fed's black book. All those futures and equities have to be somewhere.


Blow me, Deutsche Bank!

John Law Lives's picture

"...nothing makes sense anymore..."

On that note, who can believe this development:


"Four teenage migrants walked free from a Swedish court after a judge ruled that the victim was “not drunk enough” for the encounter to be classified as rape."




"Swedish politician and feminist Barbro Sörman went even further claiming that migrant rape wasn’t as bad as rape by a Swede because migrants don’t know any better."

Amalgamated Tang's picture

Looks like the "there was no intent" defense is already sweeping the globe. 

Hillary Clinton: Trend maker.

o r c k's picture

Sweden is gone.  By consensus.

user2011's picture

I am guessing DB must be the major victim of major short squeeze in the recent years.    The market manipulation has killed many private investors.   It is time for them to turn onto themselves.  And I guess DB was considered as the outsider, so it was the first cannibal victim.

Raffie's picture

I'm sure DB can get out of this issue like our country does.

Buy a truck load of ink and print money like no tomorrow.


Tom Green Swedish's picture

Verdict.  Everything else is crap besides American Business. Sorry to ruin it for you pal.

Nid's picture

Nah, Deutcshe is still shilling...."and thus discount falling rates and a flatter currve as signs of recession." Yup discuount away, nothing to see here...oh, but there is that five quarters of declining EPS, and the zero GDP growth....

JohnR's picture

I don't always follow financial advice but when I ignore financials losers, I begin with Douche Bunk.

I am amazed how the DB financial experts are all over Bloomberg and the financial  shows

UncleChopChop's picture

considering that huge swathes of deutsche bank employees will be out of jobs in the not too distant future, they had BETTER start calling it like it is or noone will want to re-hire them. any surviving and thriving financial services firms don't need more bullshit la-la-land cheerleaders, but real critical thought and analysis.. 

nathan1234's picture

All Banksters need to come clean immediately. Uncle's Chop Chop, chop may be mild. Burning  at the stake or guilotine in France- Or Being Lynched on a tree by mobs in other places may also happen.

They of course face Hillary's elimintion team ( the team is common to the same people) if they do come clean.  But not if they do so in large numbers

joego1's picture

the whole world is going to get douched when this one blows. It won't be a pretty sight.

CHoward's picture

It's just the weather stupid!  Calm down.