Nintendo Soars As 'Pokemon Go' More Popular Than Porn

Tyler Durden's picture

When your app is "more popular than porn" it is hard to argue with Nintendo's stock prices surge following the unprecedented success of the launch of Pokemon Go - the augmented reality app taking the world by storm.

A quick search of Google trends shows, as ValueWalk.com notes, that the game has even beaten one of the most popular search terms and looks to be pulling ahead today, a feat which Brexit also recently pulled off, and supposedly does not happen often...

 

While we await out first fatality from the game's zombification of its players, MacRumors reports a couple of incidents related to the game have already begun sprouting up over the past few days, bringing to light a few cautionary tales for everyone delving into the game.

Because it requires players to travel to real-world destinations in order to stock up on Poké Balls, eggs, and potions, and compete at gyms, some individuals have been capitalizing on the game's mechanics to trap and rob its players. According to a Facebook post from the O'Fallon Police Department in Missouri, four people were arrested over the weekend after using a Lure Module at a PokéStop to draw in unsuspecting players and rob them at gunpoint.

Pokemon Go gameplay

"Many of you have asked how the app was used to rob victims, the way we believe it was used is you can add a beacon to a pokestop to lure more players," the police department said in a statement on Facebook. "Apparently they were using the app to locate [people] standing around in the middle of a parking lot or whatever other location they were in."

The Lure Modules work as ways to bait more Pokémon into showing up to any PokéStop for 30 minutes, and enhances the Stop's visibility to a glowing pink color when in use, so it's easy for other players nearby to notice. Due to this, other cities across the United States have reported Pokémon Go-related thefts since the game launched last week, including a few in Philadelphia.

Other users playing the game have been lead to a few scary discoveries, including one woman who found a corpse while traveling to a PokéStop in Wyoming. Nineteen-year-old Shayla Wiggins jumped a fence to capture a nearby Pokémon, but instead discovered the dead body of a man who is believed to have drowned in the Big Wind River. According to the local police department, "There is no evidence at this time that would indicate foul play."

Nintendo reminds users to be aware of their surroundings every time the app is opened, and a few states have issued specific warnings as well, but there have also been some driving-related incidents since the game launched. While Pokémon Go encourages players to strike off the beaten path to discover wild Pokémon nearby, most have discovered -- especially in cities where walking is inhibited -- that it's easy to idle past nearby PokéStops and Gyms, already leading to more than a handful of Pokémon Go-influenced accidents.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Poke me mom? The preverts.

Population Bubble's picture

Someone does something to get kids up and outside walking around and I guarantee the fucking idiots on this site can find something wrong with it.

Silky Johnson's picture

The transformation is nearly complete, they've turned us into complete morons.

NoDebt's picture

"other cities across the United States have reported Pokémon Go-related thefts since the game launched last week, including a few in Philadelphia."

Philadelphia?... shocker.  Stay away from that place.  Nothing good happens in Philly.

 

Silky Johnson's picture

Except sandwiches with dirty meat and plastic cheese, yum.

Arnold's picture

I've eaten dozens of steak and cheese hoagies from the Philly roach coaches in my time, and have lived to tell the tale.

SWRichmond's picture

SE PA has the best cheesesteaks anywhere.  Poor schlubs who don't know how to find a good one, tough shit.

Verloren's picture

Indeed, going outside and enjoying nature, talking to people, taking a walk in good company are a great habits...

 

But wandering around in the middle of the city like a zombie, staring at your phone having no idea where you are is another thing. I've seen a group of kids playing this game. They were so entranced with their phones they would've trampled me if I hadn't got out of the way.

 

By the way, I like how the "porn" search seems to repeatedly peak at definite hours of the day. We are creatures of habit, indeed.

robertsgt40's picture

Swell, looks like bread and circus to the bitter end. 

VWAndy's picture

 Ever even try asking a good question in your life?

SWRichmond's picture

Someone does something to get kids up and outside walking around and I guarantee the fucking idiots on this site can find something wrong with it.

+1.  Everyone bitching about kids spending too much time indoors, and now that there's something to get them outdoors, people scare us with stories of how the game can be used to trap people, kids are internet zombies, it's a CIA front company, blah blah blah. What I see is young people out in the world, meeting new people, having fun.  Should they be in groups, and be wary?  Should their age-dependent outdoor activities be monitored?  Absolutely, but that has never changed throughout history.  Parenting is what it is.  There are always predators.  But do you really want your kids sitting around inside all the time?

News Flash:  ALL big tech companies are government-related surveillance drones.  All of them.  That is where the big money is (government work), and that is also where the big data is.  This will not end until the dot gov runs out of money, which is coming, thank goodness.  The all the government employees and contractors can (try to) get jobs bringing a useful product to market at a competitive price, and earning a shockingly comparably low income while doing it, half of what they're "earning" now.

SWRichmond's picture

The funny thing is all of these kids accidently exercising until they hurt.

Awesome link.  It almost feels like a global conspiracy to make people go outside. Touche, Pokemon. Touche.

Panic Mode's picture

Never played Pokemon in my life.

The central planners's picture

I would like to see a headline that says: Precious metals soars as zerohedge becomes more popular than porn.

AustrianJim's picture

My kids play this. Now I'm worried!

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) VWAndy Jul 11, 2016 3:43 PM

Whats the wurst that can happen?

Wander onto the freeway?   Walk off the edge of the subway platform?  

It's harmless...

Dormouse's picture

Research the company that developed this, it's a CIA think tank front. You should be worried.

NotApplicable's picture

I'm guessing that's true for nearly any successful game these days. For those that aren't, it's just a matter of time and VC cash.

SMG's picture

While searching for pokemon in the game, you and your phone get the bonus of becoming an Orwellian real time spy bot, complete with video, audio and tracking your every movement.   Not to mention records of who you interact with.   I think the worst thing is, some of us are willingly embracing the 1984/Brave New World future our wicked Elites have planned for us, all they had to do was wrap it in a cute game.

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) SMG Jul 11, 2016 4:00 PM

It's almost like people are just easily manipulated cuddly Pokemons. 

Dormouse's picture

Brave New World never bothered or freaked me out like 1984. It was more of a hive mentality based on a twisted meritocracy, although manufactured. 1984 is the world we are living in right now; some called Orwell prescient, I think his words were more of a blueprint considering his political leanings.

Frito's picture

This one's a little closer to "The Circle" by Dave Eggers

VWAndy's picture

 This game scares me greatly. It sure looks like a trolling sceam to me. The only question is what are they trolling for? Randomly generated my ass.

Dormouse's picture

Dispatched mobile devices by CIA for video and audio surveillance.

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) snakehead Jul 11, 2016 3:50 PM

Those darn Zionists.  What ingenious diabolical idea haven't they thought of first ?   

These lower evolved humans don't stand a chance!

Silky Johnson's picture

The can surveil any place they like without having to go through the usual hoops. Just generate some virtual piece of shit at the location they want to scope out and there is a retard willing to do the leg work so to speak.

VWAndy's picture

 Im pretty sure they have had overlapping redundant systems in place for much longer then we know.

 This has potential to be very dangerous technology. Its not the tool but how its used that matters.

 This thing is a pedofiles wet dream. Even better than free candy. A back door ability to place the lure and snatching players would be cake?

Occams_Chainsaw's picture

You win the internet for the day.

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) Jul 11, 2016 3:42 PM

Pokemon-Go + Tesla = Darwin Award Grammy.

SloMoe's picture

I'd worry about the players reproducing, but I imagine most have never been laid, anyway...

Dormouse's picture

Apparently they don't even want to jerk off anymore either.

Hapte's picture

Drop the nukes plz.

Erek's picture

Poke a man? No way!

VAD's picture

what the fuck is pokemon?

 

Vageling's picture

Meh... Some creatures from some ball and shit. I'm glad I missed it. I come from the Dragon Ball generation. We had funny shit like Dexter, Swat Cats, etc and then the wussie shit came. What I see them kids watching nowadays is to cry.

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) VAD Jul 11, 2016 4:02 PM

 

This will explain everything:   http://www.theweek.com/articles/635156/pokmon-explainer-who-have-no-idea...

I had no idea either.

Silky Johnson's picture

Motherfucker that made Pokemon is named Satoshi!!! Coincidence? I think not.

Vageling's picture

I bet Obama plays this too. Pikachu! I choose you! Now suck my dick. No? While he is running around like the fag he is chasing pikachu screaming come here fucker!

E.F. Mutton's picture

What, you mean actually go outside?????

Vageling's picture

You have to be kidding me! Pokebla go? FFS, this is pathetic. Been reading it today on MSM. How about engaging in human interaction? Instead of living in your phones fucking safe space! Fuck that pokebla shit! Not interested!

snakehead's picture

So, the revolution will not be televised after all.