And The Next President According To Dennis Gartman Is...

Tyler Durden's picture

Having constantly demonstrated his uncanny ability to "predict" the market, Dennis Gartman has decided to branch out into the realm of forecasting presidential elections. In an interview with Kitco, this is what Gartman said:

Now that the likelihood of a Trump presidency has dropped, gold prices have also moved lower, falling to two-month lows this week.


Could there be a correlation or is this just mere coincidence?


“It has to be a coincidence, because the market is wise enough to know that Mr. Trump has no chance of becoming the next president and thus cannot and will not affect monetary and/or economic policy here in the U.S. or abroad,” popular newsletter publisher Dennis Gartman told Kitco News Tuesday.

And with that we can throw away all the public polling for the next two months, Dennis Gartman has just called it.

h/t @chigrl

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lolmao500's picture

Well they still have 2 months and a half to kill him with a wannabe liberal martyr

Mark of Zerro's picture

Does Dennis Gartman realize what a big buffoon he is?  How can one human being be so wrong all of the time?

froze25's picture

He just gave Hillary the kiss of death. Trump 2016

scm's picture

I hope this guy is right for once
Stranger things have happened. Like RATpubliCONS electing a DEMONkRAT as their nominee.


Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) scm Aug 31, 2016 6:01 PM

He DOES have some sort of magical ability...

He shapes the market by the supernatural force of his being wrong.  There are no market forces.  There is only Gartman and the fact that the universe is committed to proving him eternally wrong.  OTOH, this may be a desperate attempt for him to be right once.

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Guy's real name is Dennis Smith he is a wine sommelier in Upper Manhattan, CNBC created this as a joke.

jcaz's picture

Gartman has been so wrong so often, he's a study in probability error for future generations.

Trump is a lock.

Bilderberg Member's picture

"And if I claim to be a wise man, Well, it surely means that I don't know"

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas

JRobby's picture

Mr. Wrong Gartman has just named the next POTUS! Trade accordingly.

laser's picture

That seals it. Trump wins in a landslide.

SixIsNinE's picture

yep - it's PARTY Time Zeros !   

Tylers, break out the champagne, the good whiskeys, and what the hell, cigars too, no point in holding back now that the Gartman has given the definitive signal, 

YeeeeeHawww Zeros, PartyTime!


Manthong's picture

Oh, thank God.

When I saw the headline I prayed; ”Please let this guy pick Hillary”

I was relieved when Gartman picked her.

If wrongheaded was an infestation, Gartman would be this:


remain calm's picture

Mr Gartman is only on liberal media, so it only makes sense that he spouses their view. He ain't getting invited back if he says Trump. He sells shit to dumb people, so he wants CNBC to allow him to advertise.

johngaltfla's picture

Trump just won the election. The ZH Gartman Thereom has yet to be disproved.

Barnaby's picture

Junk silver is still worth a ton...

Transformer's picture

If Gartman says Hillary will win, then that must mean....

Ms No's picture

Concerning Gartmans magical ability to be wrong:

In Yiddish there are two terms for people with supernaturally bad luck, schlemiel and schlemazle.  A schlemiel is the type of person who will always spill soup on themselves and the schlemazle is the type that will always have someone else spill soup upon them.

Neither of these terms apply to Gartman though because he is just a cocksucker working for the banks.  Lol

sonoftx's picture

You just answered a question that I have had in my brain for probably 36 years. The sitcom "Laverne and Shirley" had schlemiel and schlemazle in the them song. I had no farme of reference to investigate what it meant. Once the Internet came along that way back in the brain so never looked it up. Today I guess it is two bites to the center to the tootsie roll pop.

When you think about it, your definition of schlemiel and schlemazle was the very definition of Laverne and Shirley. Hey, I know a couple of Yiddish words.

Supafly's picture

The Jews took over your mind for 36 years.  Admittedly, mine too.

Ms No's picture

That is actually something that has been studied in psi research.  Not that anybody here cares but during the 20 military "remote viewing program" (that was also funded by the CIA and was a sister program to SRI's) they began by finding military men that had survived repeatedly under very unlikely circumstances, and sure enough they tended to score way above statistical average in psi functioning.  One of these men was Joseph McMoneagal.

The difference between the two seems to be a type of subconscious bad self esteem, if you will.  Stephen Braude thinks he lived next to a pair of Schlemiels.  He said something to the effect that: "These people could not keep anything functioning, not new and highly reliable vehicles, anything electric or even solid furniture.  At one point the neighbor was showing him her proud picture of the Golden Gate Bridge and he had to inform her that she had literally bought the Brooklyn Bridge."   

Fisherman Blue's picture

"Kiss of Death" The Reaper cometh.

Belrev's picture

A better question is where does he keep getting funds to blow away. I wish i had that printer.

armageddon addahere's picture

Mr Magoo can't see what Mr Magoo can't see.

EddieLomax's picture

At this point I think he is not a buffoon, as I said on his last prediction he is a super hero, perhaps the only real one in this world, possessing the incredible power to be wrong 100% of the time.

If so I think this could mean that he is finally becoming a force for good in the world by single handedly defeating Hillary, watch out for him in the next few months righting every wrong with his err wrongs...

Go Gartman!

Creative_Destruct's picture

Now that Gartman has said this, The Donald is a shoe-in.

MCDirtMigger's picture

Take heart Trumpsters, this guy hasn't been right in over 23 years.

kliguy38's picture

What's this guy drinking (besides a fifth of scotch everyday).....its really taking his brain apart

Winston Churchill's picture

Methylated spirits aged in oak casks.He thinks the wood part is the aging process.

Henry Rearden's picture

Best news all day!  And I made a lot of money trading today.

espirit's picture

Yep, ole Henry nailed it.

He was the only one playing with himself today.

Yen Cross's picture

  Gartman needs to lay off the Pruno. His head looks like a giant unripe tomato.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Yeah, that's it.  Gold was slammed down over the last few days because ... the markets have decided Trump can't win.  It's not because some "mystery" seller has been dumping billions of paper gold in after-hours trades.   

espirit's picture

Prep your mindbleach in your right hand...

Now imagine Hitlary in the same...

...and it's gone.

bardot63's picture

Who could blame Trump for getting some in the Oral Office?

thinkmoretalkless's picture

Now that's a campaign poster I will put up.

SixIsNinE's picture

it's Gang up on Barnaby time - where you been hiding out Big B ?


espirit's picture

Even with my eyes wide open, I can't imagine any fur - anywhere.