Canadian Mint Employee Allegedly Smuggled $140,000 Of Gold Inside His Rectum

Tyler Durden's picture

According to some of the "smartest people in the room", gold can be a "barbarous relic", or a "tradition" (if not a store of value, despite central banks still holding thousands of tons of the precious metal, most of it in custody at the NY Fed). It now also appears it may be a suppository: according to the Ottawa Citizen, an employee of the Royal Canadian Mint smuggled C$180,000 (USD $140,000) in gold from the fortress-like facility, evading multiple levels of detection with a time-honoured prison trick: hiding the precious metal up his butt.

Accoring to the Canadian press, the case against Leston Lawrence, 35, of Barrhaven concluded in an Ottawa courtroom Tuesday. Justice Peter Doody reserved decision until Nov. 9 on a number of smuggling-for-cash charges, including theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust. Lawrence, who has since been terminated, was an operator in the refinery section. Among his duties was to scoop gold from buckets so it could be tested for purity, as the Mint prides itself on gold coins above the 99 per cent level.

A suspicious bank teller raised the alarm in 2015. Lawrence sold 18 gold pucks — each a circular 7.4-ounce nugget worth about $6,800 — to an Ottawa Gold Buyers store between Nov. 27, 2014, and March 12, 2015, according to court records obtained by the Toronto Sun. Three observations tipped off the bank teller: Lawrence was a mint employee, he had an unusual number of deposits and he frequently requested overseas transactions.

Furthermore, as the OC reports, the case is "an illuminating look at security measures inside the Mint, the building on Sussex Drive that produces hundreds of millions of gold coins annually for the federal Crown corporation." Or rather lack thereof.

The defense was not happy: “Appalling,” was the conclusion of defence lawyer Gary Barnes, who described the Crown’s case as an underwhelming collection of circumstantial evidence. “This is the Royal Canadian Mint, your Honour, and one would think they should have the highest security measures imaginable,” Barnes said in his closing submission. “And here the gold is left sitting around in open buckets.”

He is right, and perhaps anyone who keeps their gold at the mint may want to reconsider the venue of storage.

Court was further told that, on multiple occasions, Lawrence took small circular chunks of gold - or “pucks” - to Ottawa Gold Buyers in the Westgate Shopping Centre on Carling Avenue. Typically, the pucks weighed about 210 grams, or 7.4 ounces, for which he was given cheques in the $6,800 range, depending on fluctuating gold prices, court heard. He then deposited the cheques at the Royal Bank in the same mall.

One day a teller became suspicious at the size and number of Ottawa Gold Buyers cheques being deposited and Lawrence’s request to wire money out of the country. She then noticed on his account profile that he worked at the Mint. The first red flag was up. Bank security was alerted, then the RCMP, which began to investigate. Eventually, a search warrant was obtained and four Mint-style pucks were found in Lawrence’s safety deposit box, court heard. 

Records revealed 18 pucks had been sold between Nov. 27, 2014 and March 12, 2015. Together with dozens of gold coins that were redeemed, the total value of the suspected theft was conservatively estimated at C$179,015.

That said, the defence countered with a couple of important points. The Crown was not able to prove conclusively that the gold in Lawrence’s possession actually came from inside the Mint. It had no markings nor, apparently, had any gold been reported missing internally. The Crown was able to show the pucks precisely fit the Mint’s custom “dipping spoon” made in-house — not available commercially — that is used to scoop molten gold during the production process.

Still, one question remained unanswered at the trial: how did the gold get out of the Mint?

The court was told Lawrence set off the metal detector at an exit from the “secure area” with more frequency than any other employee — save those with metal medical implants. When that happened, the procedure was to do a manual search with a hand-held wand, a search that he always passed. (It was not uncommon for employees to set off the detector, court heard.)

Investigators also found a container of vaseline in his locker and the trial was presented with the prospect that a puck could be concealed in an anal cavity and not be detected by the wand. In preparation for these proceedings, in fact, a security employee actually tested the idea, Barnes said.

As a result, prosecutors alleged that Lawrence smuggled out gold nuggets inside his rectum.

Despite the circumstantial evidence, the case against Lawrence remains less than definitive: Lawrence did not take the stand — as is his legal right — and the Crown was not able to definitively establish how the gold pucks made their way out of the facility. “We do have compelling evidence,” countered Crown attorney David Friesen, of someone “secreting (gold) on his person and taking it out of the Mint.” Barnes implied there were many ways Lawrence could have legitimately obtained the gold — he could have bought the coins, for instance — and said he made no efforts to be devious with the gold buyers or the bank. Further, Barnes said, the Mint isn’t even sure a theft took place. "In fact, I would submit the Mint doesn’t even know if anything is missing.”

In an emailed statement Tuesday evening, a Mint spokeswoman said several security measures had been upgraded, including high definition security cameras in all areas, improved ability to track, balance and reconcile precious metal, and the use of “trend analysis technology.”

Should Lawrence be found guilty, he will join at least two other mint employees convicted of stealing from the Ottawa facility in recent decades. In 1996, a machinist named Richard Gauthier was caught trying to abscond with eight gold bars. A few years earlier, inspectors found gold in the locker of George Allen, a janitor, after he set off a newly installed metal detector. Giving the heist away was a chunk of purloined gold in his underwear.

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Mark of Zerro's picture

I'm glad they got to the bottom of it.


Mark of Zerro's picture

and...that's what I call "dirty money."

King Tut's picture
King Tut (not verified) 1stepcloser Sep 21, 2016 11:31 AM

Yeah- big deal- my dad hid his dead Air Force buddy's watch up his ass for 2 years when he in a N Vietnamese prison camp in order to eventually give it to his buddy's son

SoilMyselfRotten's picture

If he was economical and got a sex change, he could've upped his booty to $360,000

Clashfan's picture

Justice Peter Doody?


This is a joke, right?


Joe Davola's picture

laundering the proceeds of crime

I'd hope so!

mtl4's picture

WTF, they obviously have better anal probing at the airports than they do at the damn mint.......can you say full body scanner?!

Dame Ednas Possum's picture

I look forward to the chosenite money changers being similarly fucked by Au when the time comes... just before we string the fuckers from a tree branch or two.

de3de8's picture

It seems as if he had the removal from the mint, the riskiest part of this caper under control only to give himself away by being complacent on the outside. Killed the goose that laid the golden egg.

Backin2006's picture

Poor schmucks that work there. They're now going to be treated like dirt leaving work every day.

odatruf's picture

Rectum? Damn near killed him!!!

buyingsterling's picture

That's where I hide all my gold. Small stack.

HowdyDoody's picture

Was he coining it? If not, I hope this doesn't bar him from similar employment.

StychoKiller's picture

"Mint Workers on Strike (to Make less Munny!)"

Latina Lover's picture

 Canadian mint will soon release a very limited special edition.... the Kopi Luwak edition.

FrankDrakman's picture

Upvote for the coffee reference

runswithscissors's picture

Since he was caught gold won't be the only thing going in his butt

Verloren's picture

He might seem to be a bad person on the outside... But I guarantee he is pure gold on the inside.

msmith9962's picture

Getting it in there must have been a pain in the ass.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Lost me at...

"despite central banks still holding thousands of tons of the precious metal"

nuubee's picture

The guy was a Moran. He should have sat on it until the people forgot about his dumbass.

MsCreant's picture

Interesting idea, fucked up by greed.

Never mind the rectal pain. I wouldn't do this because I wouldn't want to be waiting the rest of my life for them to come get my ass.

froze25's picture

and it would of worked if he only drove it over the boarder...

Bob's picture

My thought exactly.  Even a rapturous gold bug has to admit this is barbaric. 

And we'll all agree you can't eat it. 

847328_3527's picture

"Filthy rich," is what his co-workers said about him.

MsCreant's picture

Justice Peter Doody?

So many jokes.

What do you have on the end of your dick when you use it to search mint employees for gold? Peter Doody!

When searching mint employee's shit for hidden gold, what does the gold say when when you call out it's name? "Justice Peter Doody!"

And then there are the standbys that he has to have heard all his life:

If Peter Doody has a twin brother, would it be double Doody?

Would we say his wife is on Peter Doody, frequently?


Lemmy Caution's picture

Doody was filling in for Judge Brown.

Erek's picture

Probably Gold Finger's favorite butt-boy.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

I thought they had outsourced all gold butt smuggling to India?

Cacete de Ouro's picture

"Leston Lawrence, 35, of Barrhaven"

 Surely that should read "Leston Lawrence, 35, of Butthaven" ?

Zarbo's picture

"Unusual number of deposits", eh?

Being Free's picture

If you don't hole it, you don't own it.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Jim Willie said this would happen.

Zero-Hegemon's picture

"'Tis better to shove gold up your ass and lose, then to never shove gold up your ass at all."

MANvsMACHINE's picture

Justice Peter Doody?

I think it's more likely that he's the culprit who has something stuck up his ass.