Another Toilet Paper Crisis: Angola's Biggest Oil Firm Can't Even Supply The Basics

Tyler Durden's picture

It's not just the Venezuelans that are facing a crisis of living standards due to a hyperinflating currency intertwined with the collapse in oil revenues. As's Irina Slav explains, Sonangol, the state oil company of Africa’s current number-one oil producer seems to be in shambles, with the management unable – or unwilling – to pay for washroom supplies, according to employees cited by local media.

Despite becoming China's largest crude oil supplier in recent months, people working for the company, on which their entire country depends, say they are embarrassed that they have to bring their own toilet paper to work (BYOT). The management, however, is spared this embarrassment, they told Maka Angola–a media outlet close to the opposition.

"Every worker has to bring their own toilet paper from home because Sonangol has been unable to pay its suppliers and we have a toilet paper crisis," one official shared.

This management, a whole new one, has at the helm Isabel dos Santos, the billionaire daughter of President Jose Eduardo dos Santos. She was appointed by her father to the high seat earlier this year in a surprise reshuffle that saw the previous executive ousted.

When Dos Santos took the helm of Sonangol, she pledged to make the company transparent and to separate its core operations, spinning off the rest to improve focus.

The reshuffle put the company in the spotlight, especially since shortly after the appointment of Dos Santos to the CEO position, the government of Angola canceled talks with the IMF about a US$4.5-billion loan that would have helped it to prop up its oil crisis-battered finances.

Last month, it emerged that Chevron, a long-time partner of Sonangol, is demanding US$300 million in a debt repayment, threatening to otherwise end the relationship. Soon after this, Sonangol announced it had agreed to a debt payment of US$200 million, without mentioning the name of the receiver, adding that a plan is in place for the remainder of the sum.

Meanwhile, Angola’s Supreme Court is probing the younger Dos Santos’ appointment. The probe was launched after a group of 14 lawyers filed a case that accused the President of nepotism and breaching the country’s probity legislation.

The Sonangol employee who talked to Maka Angola said that “The former administration 'ate' well. Now I suppose it's the turn of the new administration.”

A Whatsapp group has been formed to discuss the issue, naming itself “There is no toilet paper.”

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Joe Davola's picture

Can't you use the online Sears catalog?

SafelyGraze's picture

just use your freekin hand, duh.

members of the castes 


knukles's picture

I still don't give a shit

Expat1's picture

Typical African dysfunction. Never changes. Foreign aid will not fix these "issues."

Nekoti's picture

Yea, thats pretty shitty of them.

Dubaibanker's picture

Lets not make fun when 21 million people are struggling.

Airlines have shut, their embassy salaries are not being paid since beginning of the year around the world, they are in a worse shape than Saudi (which is saying something).

Dictators were permitted to remain by the American state (what else can differentiatiate between Iraq/Libya/Syria/Yemen and most Africans on the other side?)

The income of Angolan Govt depended 97% on oil exports and oil price. Saudi is at 92%. 

Their currency has plunged from below 80-90 to about 167 officially against 1 USD. Inflation is in hell. Flights are being grounded due to paucity of USD for payments. It is quite bad out there. Jobs are hard to come by and foreign comapnies are leaving like they are withdraawing globally.


Angolan embassy employees consider legal action in pay dispute
enfield0916's picture

Before toilet paper, we used leaves to wipe out asses. But then again, if we did it today Green Peace would lose their shit and ask the gubment to ban that too!

losses mount's picture

Never fear, the UN is here. After 8 billion has been spent to rid the world of the scourge of TP shortages, we're proud to announce eTP.

Now you can wipe your arse with your phone.

Plus you can share pictures of your shitty arses on facebook.

SAE 73's picture

Uuuuuuuuuggghhh.   Hahahahaha.   SADNESS UTTER SADNESS.     

NoPension's picture

This article to lighten the mood? 

They have toilets in Angola?

Jim in MN's picture



Something about avoiding subpoenas and this:


i guess I know the answer >>> they wanted to get away with it

Jim in MN's picture



'Podesta and UFOs'



KKKkkkkkkkkkkk  then.......

Deplorable's picture

Corncobs work in a pinch.

Knob Creek's picture

Corncobs work AFTER a pinch.......


You're welcome ;)

SAE 73's picture

Good save Knob Creek.  BTW, Knob Creek is smmmmooootthh goin dowwwwwnn

debtor of last resort's picture

Well, paper it over then.

undertow1141's picture

Somebody is about to make a killing selling 12 inch sections of Charmin.

commie's picture
commie (not verified) Nov 5, 2016 5:36 PM

So Angola has supplanted Russia as oil suppler to China so ZH attacks Angola. Figures.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Here's an idea for those entrepreneurs out there that recognize an opportunity when they see one.

Launch a campaign for in-Country toilet paper manufacturing for Angola and Venezuela utilizing recycled paper products!

You provide the capital and equipment in return for the land to build the factories and take 2% off of every roll you sell!!!

Son of Captain Nemo's picture


How fucking stupid and dependent does the Latin and African communities have to be not to have a "cottage industry" for making their own brand of toilet paper to compete with Johnson & Johnson?!!!


Seer's picture

I think that the "problem" is far larger than just TP.

Keep in mind the IMF sharks are circling.  I suspect this "problem" has been brewing for a lot longer than just this recent appointment.

Wood products in many parts of the world are pretty scarce.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

That is probably true for Angola but not for Venezuela...

Anyway I'd like to make some coin on a venture like that one but after November 8 I think we will have our own shortage of TP. Not because we don't have the resources to make it in this Country but because the act of "shitting" will be so pervasive that the President might have to declare a "state of emergency" just based on the outcome of the election in dealing with that shortage!!!

By the way Seer it's good to see you again.

Faeriedust's picture

Not in Angola, which is in the middle of the African tropical rain forest.  They certainly have wastewood sufficient for pulping.  This shortage is much more likely the result of skimming for the benefit of new (political) ownership rather than an outright shortage.  The article discusses workers "bring your own", strongly suggesting that the stuff is available on the market, and even affordable -- merely no longer being provided by the company.  Most likely the old management stole half the corporate assets on the way out.  We ARE talking about one of the most corrupt nations on earth.

Knob Creek's picture

Couldn't you just use Bolivar notes???

CoonT's picture

There it is again

PhilofOz's picture

Toilet paper in our house is now obsolete, mush prefer to wash a shitty ass than smear it everywhere with tissue......

WTFUD's picture

With bidet's few & far between in the UK i'm thankful at 6'4" the top of my legs are level with the washbasin/sink.

SAE 73's picture

Aaaaaaaaaarrrgghh .  Not a pleasant sight sir.   Uuuuuuuggghh

SAE 73's picture

Aaaaaaaaaarrrgghh .  Not a pleasant sight sir.   Uuuuuuuggghh

Ajax_USB_Port_Repair_Service_'s picture

"accused the President of nepotism" Nah. I'm sure she's the most qualified person in the whole country for the job.

silverer's picture

Maybe they should get out of oil and go into the paper business.

Able Ape's picture

Easy solution for the company - if you shit AT work, you're FIRED!...

Thinking like this is the result of an Ivy League education....

SAE 73's picture

I was a Supervisor at a manufacturing plant back in Ohio. I use to tell my workers ( non union ) to NOT steal from the company by taking a shit on Company time. My workers LOVED me.  Hahahahaha.  

nathan1234's picture

What is all this hullabaloo about?

Why toilet Paper when one can use water to clean one's ass! As has been done since time immemorial

tarabel's picture



You want to insert Angolan water up your ass, be my guest.

Not me, pardner.

Kprime's picture

and to think the neighborhood kids were out just last week gleefully throwing entire cases of toilet paper in the neighborhood trees.  monkeys can wipe their ass but not Venezuelans.

"Monkeys Asses Matter Toot"

P.S. (i haven't a square to spare)

Kprime's picture

" a roll of T.P.", priceless.

General Titus's picture

The communist Cubans send an army to fight the Christians of South Africa in Angola in what is considered the last hot battle of the (fake) cold war.  The communist terrorists destroyed the country with the full blessings of their globalist limousine liberal fellow travelers of the West,


CNONC's picture

I don't like to be vulgar, but I can't say this strongly enough.  Fuck Dos Santos and his whole clan.  Savimbi was a crook, but he at least believed in the "negritude" stuff he sold his soldiers. 

Condition 1SQ's picture

Believe it or not, Angola is one of the most expensive countries in the world.

tarabel's picture



I seem to recall that Kimberly Clark stock is not doing well.

With all the TP shortages in every Third World shithole and all the preppers loading up, how can this be?

Do Socialist despots prefer some other brand or what?

Stormtrooper's picture

I thought the JAPs had solved this problem many years ago with toilets that have "self wiping" nozzles of water so that toilet paper is not needed.  What happened to their latest "most excellent" innovation?

Colonel's picture

Look there's plenty of buttwipe out there in the form of fiat money.

NoWayJose's picture

NO SHIT! (Literally)

dunce's picture

Inflation will solve the problem, soon the fiat can be economically used for toilet paper. I wish i was joking.

moleson1965's picture

I do not have the slightest hope for Africa.