"Operation Cankles" - Russian Intervention Exposed

Tyler Durden's picture

Did the Russians really rig the 2016 US election? The Daily Telegraph's Tim Blair exposes 'the truth' - You bet they did!

Secret documents recently discovered in a bin behind a Kremlin-district 24-hour cabbage and tobacco store reveal for the first time the devious extent of Russian interference. These plans were decades in the making.

Read on, as never-before-seen communiques between Russian agents Sergei Potrov and Dimitri Bienko outline the wicked plot – beginning in 1947, on the day of Hillary Clinton’s birth:

Dearest Dimitri

 

I am pleased to report that phase one of Operation Cankles is total success! Soviet implantation of stupid American woman resulted in birth today of hefty girl-child destined to be unelectable candidate 70 years from now.

 

Child is basically just ankles and head, similar to sturdy and hard-working female stock from adored Ilmensky Mountains. In decadent America, nobody will ever vote for such a noble being.

 

Yours in Soviet solidarity,

Sergei

Back in Moscow, Bienko receives the news from his undercover US-based operative with communist glee:

Dearest Sergei,

 

You have done very well, comrade! Especially with the implantation. I trust the child has your eyebrow.

 

We have already begun looking at similar strategies in other western nations. When you are next on leave, ask me to show you plans for Operation Julia. Australia is next to face unforgiving Soviet wrath!

 

Yours,

Dimitri

As the years go by, our pair of dedicated spies continue to monitor Hillary’s progress and other events:

Dearest Dimitri,

 

Greetings again from Americas. Heh heh heh! Apologies for chuckles, but am watching hilarious documentary called Honeymooners. Is about domestic violence. Very good.

 

Am needing laugh because hips in pain from imitating the Elvis Presley. Will send you LP of the Presley once Russia has record players.

 

Hillary now at school and shunned by corrupt classmates in thrall of military-industrial capitalism. All proceeding exactly according to strategic project timeline.

 

Yours in everlasting revolution,

Sergei

Called away from Operation Cankles for a brief and triumphant mission to Dallas in 1963, Potrov soon returns to his main quest. Read the rest over at The Daily Telegraph

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
localsavage's picture

Sadly, this is probably closer to the truth than the crap the MSM and DNC have been spewing the last few weeks.

Shemp 4 Victory's picture

Schizophrenic, it becomes clear that you make a juicy fart in a puddle.

Paul Kersey's picture

They invented "The Cank" in hopes that once American males saw her, they would never again want to reproduce.

MissCellany's picture

Pretty darn funny. But ZH's own Boris Alatovkrap could have run circles around this even so.

jeff montanye's picture

agree about boris.  as for zh, don't give up your day job.  it's a good job after all.

p.s. the real stories of hillary and her supporters are funnier.

Manthong's picture

Vell, Igor, pass the wodka and then ve go sabotoogie amerikanski eclecshuns.

jeff montanye's picture

p.p.s. oswald was a cia asset not a kgb one certainly by the time he and his russian bride were welcomed back in from moscow to work for the new orleans chapter of the fair play for cuba committee.

how would you not be watching such a person?

Manthong's picture

..not only a short criminal lying  twat… but tree stumps hidden under pants suits.

..like yeah, that is going to win

Har… har… har…….....

Manthong's picture

But oh yes....

I fully buy in to the CIA / JFK thing…

…research Zapato Oil and see where GHW F’ng CIA Bush was in Dallas…….

Manthong's picture

..maybe I am mistaking… but I think even Merkel can wear a dress in public without too much embarrassment.

Cheka_Mate's picture

Don't forget the Big Sugar (Anti-Castro)lobby and the Bottling convention which was a pretext to have Military Trucks on the streets of Dallas before the motorcade 

Brown Brothers and Harriman had large sugar plantation holdings in Cuba, ties to Prescott Bush 

philipat's picture

Those exchanges sound more like they were written by our own Boris Alatovkrap? This is a joke right? Not even April 1st

Verloren's picture

Hey, that's Klaus Fuchs on the left and von Neumann on the right! Fuchs was a Soviet spy in Los Alamos, but von Neumann was an as anti-Soviet as one can be.

any_mouse's picture

Just an Independent Oilman from Houston in town for meetings. That is what he wrote in a letter to the FBI explaining his presence in Dallas 11/22/1963 before the FBI had asked him anything.

Need to go Biblical on these elite families. Destroy all living members. Erase the lineages.

Manthong's picture

Allen Dulles never really left the CIA even after JFK fired his ass.

..at least the heroin biz in the US is thriving better than ever.

Yuri Bezmenov's picture

In order to establish communistic centralized world government, the land of the free (USA) needs to be abolished.

Manthong's picture

Well, the magic negro gave it his best effort… fortunately, he was inept…

..maybe  270 rounds of golf has improved his game...

http://obamagolfcounter.com/

 

How many muslims are leaving the Trump House next month?

 

hint.. it starts with the semi-black fake Christians who hung a Mao ornament on a tree seven years ago...

http://www.wnd.com/2009/12/119800/


 

how did the preacher who married him with a very muscular arm, but monster bootie Wookie at his decorative chicago church say it?...

"No, God Damn America!"

 

NurseRatched's picture

The invention of "Te Cank" was the worst biological weapon since anthrax.

Now which country/terrorist group is responsible for the boner-killing Lena Dunham??

SILVERGEDDON's picture

Fuck off, Shemp - and quit making one of The Three Stooges look bad, you prick. 

Shemp 4 Victory's picture

Oh, look, something from the toilet gurgles and spits.

AUD's picture

No way. Julia is a commie through & through

knukles's picture

Jaaaaesus H Kreeeeeist.
Can we not stop the Hillary Visage Movement?

Paul Kersey's picture

Is Lewinsky a Russian name? Was she a plant from behind the Soviet Block? With this kind of precision planning, it's only a matter of time before the Russians produce a car that runs.

espirit's picture

Oh noes Knuks...

Think ovdolls.com with a Hitlary magnetic face and prune body. You get to pick your rug preference.

 

Yeah, I know I'm a sick mofo - but I use lot's of mind bleach.

Killdo's picture

she studied with a friend of mine at London School of Economics

peddling-fiction's picture

That darned London School of Economics

ILIKEMITTENS's picture

Shouldnt you be responding to yourself instead of an actual zher?

SILVERGEDDON's picture

Tyler Durden - 

BEST TRUTH IN ADVERTIZING POST, EVER. 

You are my fucking hero, and nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize for 2016.

Why ?

Because your exposing the Cankles Connection is more likely to start WW3 than the real Clinton.................

Seriously, you are one funny motherfucker , and honorary Numbah One Muthahfuckah Fight Club member.

ich1baN's picture

Putin's Christmas address about the decay of Western values vis-a-vis political correctness and a lack of respect for tradition, culture, and values needs to be played ad naseum in the Western media... it's only 2 mins long but it's VERY TRUE:

https://vid.me/ZWnk

-ich1baN 

TheMeatTrapper's picture

Putin's Christmas address pales in comparison with Obama's Kwanzaa address. /sarc.

The Alexandrov choir sings "God Bless America" https://youtu.be/7H8si4ImrEw . The enemy is not in Moscow, the enemy is in New York, LA, Chicago, and other liberal shit holes. I'll stand with the Russians before I claim those assholes. 

stormsailor's picture

her effect on white birthrates started in the 90's, she made our male sons eschew marriage and chelsea made them horrified of having children.  no viagra ever invented could possibly conquer the complete flacidness induced by hillary.  they all went the route of bill and got blowjobs instead

hannah's picture

hillary smelled of cabbage farts and stale cigars.....

 

funny but most of the real russians that i have dealt with in my life are true free market capitalist. will sell full adobe creative suite with list price of $5000 for $100 us dollars that is.....with serial numbers and crack code.

Akzed's picture

I doubt this is real.

NoDebt's picture

No shit, ya think?

 

Implied Violins's picture

He is just confused because there's more truth in the above than in the MSM.

NoDebt's picture

We all need to take this "fake news" shit a lot more seriously.  Obviously I was completely wrong- there are people who can't tell the difference.

It's a low bar but it's a bar nonetheless.

 

WestVillageIdiot's picture

This piece did refer to Bill as "the Arkansas assman".  That seems like a piece of real news to me. 

Implied Violins's picture

Yup. More Hennessey's and Chrystal. Less MD 20/20 and Thunderbird.

We Are The Priests's picture

It's not a bar unless they serve drinks.

Sorry, feeling rather trollsome right now.

Koba the Dread's picture

It's a low bar for some, but unfortunately it's a high bar for others.

Joyo Bliss's picture

"We all need to take this "fake news" shit a lot more seriously . . . "

Surely you jest, NoDebt.

WestVillageIdiot's picture

Still more real than CNN, MSNBC, Huffington Post, Washington Post, NBC, ABC, CBS, Salon, Politico, Time, Newsweak (sic), and all of the other American propaganda units that were pushing for Operation Cankles to be a success. 

The line about the baby being nothing but a head and ankles - fucking hilarious. 

kliguy38's picture

I think it IS real......at least more real than what the MSM tells us