Marissa Mayer Resigns From Yahoo Board; Yahoo To Be Renamed To Altaba

Tyler Durden's picture

Four-and-a-half years after taking over as CEO of Yahoo, the company announced today, via an 8-K that Marissa Mayer is resigning from the board. Additionally the comany's name with be change to Altaba (well it's better than 'Bahoo').

It's been a bumpy ride...

Statement via 8-K

In connection with the previously announced pending sale by Yahoo! Inc. (“Yahoo” or the “Company”) of its operating business (the “Sale Transaction”) to Verizon Communications Inc. (“Verizon”) pursuant to the terms of a Stock Purchase Agreement, dated as of July 23, 2016, between the Company and Verizon, the Board of Directors of the Company (the “Board”) has made certain determinations with respect to the size and composition of the Board following the closing of the Sale Transaction (the “Closing”).


In light of the fact that following the Closing the Company will operate as an investment company under the Investment Company Act of 1940, the Board has determined that, immediately following the Closing, the size of the Board will be reduced to five (5) directors. Tor Braham, Eric Brandt, Catherine Friedman, Thomas McInerney and Jeffrey Smith will continue to serve as directors of the Company following the Closing, and Mr. Brandt will serve as Chairman of the Board. Each of David Filo, Eddy Hartenstein, Richard Hill, Marissa Mayer, Jane Shaw and Maynard Webb has indicated that he or she intends to resign from the Board effective upon the Closing, and that his or her intention to resign is not due to any disagreement with the Company on any matter relating to the Company’s operations, policies or practices.


To facilitate the transition of the Company to an investment company following the Closing, the Board also determined that, effective January 9, 2017, Mr. Brandt will become Chairman of the Board and Mr. Webb will become Chairman Emeritus of the Board.

The Board also determined that, following the Closing, it intends to cause the Company’s name to be changed to Altaba Inc.

*  *  *

On the bright side, she will ge to do a lot more of this.

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db51's picture

Is that dual house arrest ankle bracelets?


johngaltfla's picture

"Yahoo" is what the shareholders said on the news.

"Fuck" is what they will say when the company is found to be void of any real shareholder value after she leaves because she bled it dry.

xythras's picture
xythras (not verified) knukles Jan 9, 2017 5:56 PM

MEXICO IS GOING DOWN. Major gas hike sparks civil unrests: 


knukles's picture

As a Investment Company (WTF?) maybe they can run OPM better than they ran a simple search engine.
That's a serious WTF as in obfuscate anything from the past ...  Look a New and Beautiful Future!!!!!

Truther's picture

She's on a VZ dildo all day

Stuck on Zero's picture

She will go down in history as another success story along with Elizabeth Holmes, Carly Fiorina, and Meg Whitman.

DownWithYogaPants's picture

She got the job because she was blowing Sergei

Jim Sampson's picture

They probably just felt bad for her...  I mean, look, she can't even sit in a chair correctly.

The Saint's picture
The Saint (not verified) Jim Sampson Jan 9, 2017 6:46 PM

I see what the problem is with Yahoo.  They missed putting 2016 in their gross earning chart.  They missed a whole year of earnings.


peddling-fiction's picture

Changed to Altaba cause it rhymes with Alibaba.

Altavista + Alibaba?

janus's picture

Dear Marissa,

I know you gals think janus some Neanderthal peddling troglodytic notions of patriarchy.  You couldn't be further from the truth.  

It's like this, Marissa, the type of recognition you demand is earned, not given.  You think 'feminism' will be like some sort of joel osteen tent-revival, where we just name it and claim it: I am womyn hear me roar!

Well, Marissa, had you spent more time and energy doing your job as opposed to stoking the sensation surrounding your C-level celebrity, perhaps you would have gone some way in attaining this 'equality' you've conflated with morality.  

How many times did we see Steve Balmer in the news?  Minimally, Marissa.  He was busy running a world-class company and improving it.  You?  You took a sacred trust -- the stewardship of a major company -- and burnt it in some Pyrrhic sacrifice to your vapid and laughable celebrity.  

Instead of focusing on developing yourself as a CEO, you wanted to prance about like lil miss fancy-pants for the cameras.  You mark yet another dismal failure in a seemingly endless stream of 'feminists' CEOs who're obviously more concerned with image than substance.  

Hang your head in shame.  You just made it that much harder for the next girl to get the big-break.

You should write a book apologizing to all girls everywhere.


peddling-fiction's picture

+500M janus. If she had her way, she would send you to FEMA camp for that.

NoDebt's picture

Altaba = Altria + Alibaba

Get all your conterfeit Chinese-made tobacco there.

That's a really fucked up stupid name.  Somebody got paid millions for that shit.  Pisses me off.


peddling-fiction's picture

Actually there are lots of people named with a lastname Altaba.

It is moorish. Al'Taba,_Egypt

janus's picture

nope, it's moopish.  check your spelling.

the card says moops.



RiverRoad's picture

They also had NO fucking security for their acct holders. 

Frito's picture

Maybe there just weren't any to put in there, so they just didn't bother (and hoped no-one would notice)

BennyBoy's picture


That chart went from YAHOO to BOOHOO!

Son of Loki's picture

Yahoo is 90% left wing propaganda these days not worth reading. I just use it sometimes for emails but otherwise ignore it. Who cares what they name it; it's Junk News.

SilverRhino's picture

LOL They looted the company and expect more suckers (investors) along shortly. 

wee-weed up's picture

Another media darling bites the dust!

WestVillageIdiot's picture

They take these losers like Mayer and Elizabeth Holmes, airbrush the hell out of their pictures, trying to make them look glamorous, then they repeat over and over how they are "smart businesswomen".  These creatures then lose millions upon millions upon millions of dollars and all they do is make excuses for them.  There isn't enough airbrushing in the world that could make Carly Fiorina look good, but we still have to be told over and over and over again that she is some sort of business genius.  And if you disagree you quickly find out that accountability quickly gets labeled as "sexism" because all of these so-called "strong" women have to hide behind their privilege group.  And of course the best person at pulling off that act is serial loser Hillary Milhouse Clinton.

By the way, why is Meryl Streep running her yap?  How did she ever get anywhere in the movies with that ugly bird face?  She should have been locked up for her attempted murder on the movie Kramer vs. Kramer back in the 1970s.  Try to watch that performance.  Just don't watch with an empty stomach.  Wretched!  She makes Demi Moore look talented. 

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

and then there is ugly Meg Whitman, who wrecked eBay.

DownWithYogaPants's picture

Meg Whitman or Angela Merkel....I can't tell them apart.

They're both sights for sore eyes.

sessinpo's picture

Vizzini: Inconceivable

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


sight for sore eyes. informal. › a way of saying that you are very pleased to see someone or that you think someone is very attractive

Twee Surgeon's picture

I remember when E-Bay was Fun, simple and you could make a pretty good chunk of change. Then Meg came and 'fixed it'. Then she blew achunk of her wad on running for Governor, I think she lost to Arnold ? She wrecked E-Bay.


Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Meg wrecked eBay for me as a user and as a stockholder.  eBay is a mere shadow of what it might have been on account of Meg Whitman's mis-management.  Ebay's market cap today is less than that of airBnB!

RiverRoad's picture

Re Streep:

Gone from movie star to menopausal menace.  Pathetic angry bitch.

City_Of_Champyinz's picture

Hey it's pronounced Demi asshole.

scsherman's picture
scsherman (not verified) macholatte Jan 9, 2017 6:45 PM

Surely she is worth the $200k a day that she made during that time. No CEO ever has been worth what their compensation reflects. A well paid committee of 365 random people making $200k per year could have done a vastly better job as CEO than she did in that time.

xythras's picture
xythras (not verified) johngaltfla Jan 9, 2017 5:55 PM

MEXICO IS GOING DOWN. Major gas hike sparks civil unrests: 


Lorca's Novena's picture

Off topic, but wow. What happens when they lose the"" gibmedats" in the states? Morons.

Twee Surgeon's picture

They jacked up the gas prices to get Mexico pissed off so the illegals in the USA will be Inspired to riot when Trump says 'Build that wall' arounf January 20th. Think about it, why now ?

abyssinian's picture

should name it "Retardba"

Bunga Bunga's picture

In China as manager you better don't fuck with your investors.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I'd do a lot more of that with her.

Bunghole's picture

Until you had to listen to her speak.

Worse than grandpa Yellen

WestVillageIdiot's picture

You won't be boning the airbrushed version. 

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Show her how clever and sensitive you are by, at liftoff, hollering 'yahoo!'

Pinto Currency's picture

Give that woman $500M

Seasmoke's picture

Wow. So much for any Goodwill in the Yahoo name. The economy must be much much worse than any of us even realize. 

WestVillageIdiot's picture

The only good thing Yahoo still had left was their finance site, and they have now fucked even that up royally.  What a bunch of losers. 

Midas's picture

I can tell you as a long time Yahoo user (20+ years!) that after they redid their finance site I actually came to believe that Google really did send her to Yahoo! to ruin the place.  It makes more sense to believe they ruined their e-mail, news, and finance on purpose.  If that doesn't drive the customers away, how about a security breach?  If a couple hundred million won't buy you a CEO who can secure your data, how much do you have to pay to get one? 

For those interested I switched e-mail to a pay service to see if they can keep from getting my info stolen and hopefully not sell my data to the lowest bidder:

NoPension's picture

If they had not won the Alibaba lottery, Yahoo would already be toasted.

European American's picture

Yahoo's such a sleazeball Bolshevik organization.