Meet The "Bionic Barrista" Whose Mission Is To Terminate Millions Of Minimum Wage Jobs

Tyler Durden's picture

Tired of your barista giving you attitude, spitting in your coffee if you only mention Trump, or misspelling your name on your morning cup of joe? Surely a robot could do better. Well, we are about to find out, because on Monday, Cafe X opened its very first robotic cafe in San Francisco’s Metreon shopping center Digital Trends reports. Promising “precision crafted specialty coffee in seconds, the way the roaster intended,” Cafe X thinks that anything a human can do, its machines can do better. Or rather just one machine. 

Nicknamed Gordon, after a Cafe X employee, this robot mans, or robots, two standard professional coffee machines in order to serve up espressos and lattes. In the San Francisco location, customers can grab a cup of coffee with beans from AKA Coffee, Verve Coffee Roasters, or Peet’s. While the coffee itself may not make Cafe X stand out from the competition, the startup hopes that the robot’s efficiency and utility will.

And it surely will, because while its name may be Gordon, its title is the "bionic barrista" and its primary mission is to terminate millions of minimum wage jobs around the globe, boosting the bottom line for major coffee chains everywhere, whose growth has plateaued and who are desperate to cut on overhead costs. Already the average Cafe X coffee costs more than 10%, or 40 cents less than a similar drink at Starbucks. With greater scale the price will only drop.

While offering clear savings for the business, there will be some tradeoffs - introducing automation and robotics into food service will reduce costs and increase efficiency at the expense of customization and a "human touch." Some companies - and clients - may prefer a personal experience to an efficient one, or a customized product. The company behind Gordon, however, disagrees: “There’s a lot of work that goes into great coffee. The Cafe X system is designed for humans and robots to collaborate,” Cafe X explains on its websites. “Smart robotics and machine learning working autonomously allows our operations team to focus on sourcing and using fresh ingredients, maintaining extremely high hygiene standards, and ensuring a great customer experience with every single interaction.”  According to Cafe X, a great customer experience involves efficiency and replicability. “By being automated, we guarantee every cup of coffee you are served from a Cafe X machine is how the roaster intended you to enjoy their coffee,” Cafe X CEO Henry Hu told CNET.

For clients, the efficiency improvements and passed-through cost savings will likely more than offset any loss of a "human touch" - you can order your cup of coffee ahead of time with the Cafe X mobile app and even schedule a pickup time, if you want. Thanks to the robot’s artificial intelligence software, your pre-orders are taken into consideration alongside walk-in orders to ensure that no one is waiting for too long. And with a single robot capable of making 100 to 120 cups of coffee in an hour, you likely won’t be waiting long at all.

And since bionic barristas not only do not expect a weekly paycheck, but need no healthcare of benefits, the choice for Howard Schultz' replacement is clear. Oh, and to those 10,000 refugees who had hoped to get a job at Starbucks, our condolences.

Watch "Gordon" in action here:

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Dilluminati's picture

Another reason not to import more people into this nation

kuwa mzuri's picture

At least, alphabetically, bionic barristers are next.

DipshitMiddleClassWhiteKid's picture

wonder what "the industrial workers" of the world have to say about this?


those faggot should be studying computer science instead of crying about labor rights



Nexus789's picture

And the robot will be more than likely made in China. 

howling_mad's picture

My god, there will be no more work for people coming out of liberal arts...

kuwa mzuri's picture

Liberal arts?

Do you think for a second that STEM, Business, and Finance majors won't be replaced by AI, soon and without notice?


jewish_master's picture

finance and business yes. STEM not so much. not becuase u cant, becuase they wont cut the branch tgey sit on. i bet 50% of coding can be automated. they wont pursue this, cause it will mean the end of thier proffession, and possiably end of humanity...

effendi's picture

Disagree. Only takes one small startup by smart tech guys looking to make it rich to develop automated coding and they will be worth billions as thousands of finance managers in thousands of corporations will buy the technology as it will save them millions each year on employing bottom tier H1B holders.

Benjamin123's picture

Im not a programmer but it seems to me that automating coding is no different than creating even more higher level specialized languages, so you do with one line what used to take 20.000, all at the expense of flexibility but thats what specialization means.

Popular example: Creating websites.

jewish_master's picture

not a heavy tech guy myself, i program games in unity and c#. apprently Unreal engine has some kind of blueprint coding - flowchart. 

the guys at  the start up wont get funding, cause it will destroy US economic eco system , juts imagine every 10 yr old making his own programs, death to corporations. no i

dont think theyll support that.


Okienomics's picture

If the machines can drive and make coffee, along with all the manufacturing processes, sort of leaves humans a bit idle.  Idle hands to the devil's work.  Time to start up the pyramid building. 

Giant Meteor's picture

Yeah, that is good and all, but will he listen to you bitch, about the little woman at home. I mean can you go there and unload your troubles on him?

chosen's picture

Sure you can, but don't expect much of a reply.

StychoKiller's picture

Look up "Eliza" on wikipedia.

jewish_master's picture

i dont see anything here really just a robotic arm... making a good coffee requires getting the mile cream right this wont fly in europ

Hovel Downs's picture

I see promise here... outfit machine with a baseball bat or flagpole and MAGA hat; stage outside;  defend Starbucks against the Antifa Hordes. 

artichoke's picture

This is why we need to get out the illegal immigrants and such.  They will be increasingly unemployable.

c2nnib2l's picture

That's a very expensive coffee vending machine. 

Same as the vending machine he wont deal with most of the unsuall requests that barista can handle 


can I have only few drops of milk ?

can I have both hazelnut and vanilla mixed together ?

This coffee is shit I want my money back ! 


kuwa mzuri's picture

When a non-hipster-millennial middle class commuter orders a cup of joe at Starbucks, the bionic arm frantically waves and warns, "Danger, Will Robinson, danger!"

WTFUD's picture

Totally Misguided!

1) Who's in a rush to drink their coffee? The same people who go to lunch with their nose glued to their mobile phone.
2) Would you not be best served by a bit of strumpet even though you've got no chance with your corny chat up line.
3) Self service stores, scanning your own items! fcuk that i'm a lazy bastard.
4) If there are no jobs where do you expect to find customers with cash for a $3-4 Latte?

Nah when i visit the greasy spoon cafe for a cardiac arrest breakfast i want slack Alice behind the jump with the cigarette dangling from her blistered lips serving my nosh up.

Do you still pay a service charge?

Ben A Drill's picture

Go into any whole food store or any grocery store and pour your own coffee. I grind my own beans bought at Costco everyday. No tip jar!

DemandSider's picture

100%, neoliberal, Luddite guano. Technology doesn't cause job loss, cheap labor and treason do. Where will these robots be machined and manufactured?

TRM's picture

Yep. As a techie for 3+ decades (fully employed at a very decent wage) I have been telling both mine and everyone else's kids that robotics is the future. You can design them, build them or service them but those are the jobs that will at least be around and pay well until they figure out how to have robots do those things. Like Bill Joy wrote "The Future Doesn't Need Us" and he was right.

DemandSider's picture

Vending machines have been with us for over a century. The difference is that today, they are not made here. THAT is what's causing the job loss.

Krungle's picture

So maybe we want to take a more Amish approach to new technology? Not the "well this will increase profits for the next couple of quaters!" But rather, "hey, if we take this to it's logical conclusion, no one will have any jobs and they won't be able to buy robot products!" There is a pretty obvious conclusion to the profit as an end unto itself philosophy and it doesn't end well for humans (not even the ones who think they're going to "win").

voxale's picture

This is going to piss off  10,000 refugees who thought they had a job at Starbucks lined up. 

Montana Cowboy's picture

Coffee is like beer - you only rent it. There will be jobs. Sombody must clean the toilets.

EnDimoVeritas's picture

At the least, someone to fix the self-cleaning toilets.

Gort's picture

Need to add tats and piercings and they nailed it.

SharkBit's picture

Seriously?  As a business owner, why would I invest in a million-dollar robot when I could buy a vending machine which will accomplish the same function.  Taking sublime to the sublime.  Only in La-La Land.

Emict's picture

Just say NO.  Don't use a Kiosk in McDonalds... walk out.  Don't participate in robotic vending.  JUST SAY NO.  It's participation in this form of job loss that allows mega corporations to flurish. 


Who was that masked man's picture

But I'd much rather punch a few buttons on a kiosk than deal with some pimply-faced punk who barely speaks english.

Aussiekiwi's picture

That pimply-faced punk who barely speaks english is probably a US university degree holder in Liberal studies with 140,000 in debt.

Jethro's picture

Exactly.  I WANT automation. 

10mm's picture

Do you REALLY believe automation is up to snuff. Just stay away from shit fast food. Robot,human,it's garbage.

Who was that masked man's picture

The robot barrista may be able to make custom coffee but can it spit in that coffee if you don't tip?

Ban KKiller's picture

I don't buy coffee out, way, way too expensive. 

TGDavis's picture

The store will hire two "managers" on salary for the personal touch. Strangely, it will work out to $8.00 per hour.

Skiprrrdog's picture

It would be awesome to go in there and hack one with some wireless tech, and then have it give you a hand job right at the counter... clear out an overcrowded SBucks quickly...

CHoward's picture

Human touch.  SERIOUSLY?!?  I go into a damn Dunkin Doughnuts today and it takes me 10 minutes to tell the clerk what I want - HE BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH! 


Giver me a robot any day.  You choose from the electronic menu - you pay right there - the robot gives you what you ordered and out the door you go.  No human touch!

Aussiekiwi's picture

Not touched by dirty Human hands, next step get rid of the robot and make your own damn coffee.

Silver Savior's picture

Mistake number one is you go to DD and not Starbucks. lol.

Silver Savior's picture

If I walk into Starbucks and see that peice of shit I will simply go to the local coffee shop and be greeted by a human. I am not that loyal. Go ahead do something idiotic like that.

Not everyone wants these robots. Phuck you!

ZeroHegemony's picture

Both business models will survive. At least for a while. My personal choice will be the robot. The humans that serve coffee in my locale are surly, scruffy and don't look as though they want the job. Personally, I don't like unkempt blue hair or man-buns and pierced faces. As a potential customer, it's good to have choice, which I think is the message within your post.

StychoKiller's picture

Hah!  I'll start my own Coffee shop -- with blackjack, and Hookers!

Ben A Drill's picture

Reason number #1 Why I don't visit Starbucks. The tip jar.
#2 I drink my coffee black. I don't need help with that. I can pour my own or make my own. Thank you very much.
#3 Personally feel Starbucks over roasts their beans making them to acidic. More than one cup is more than my stomach can handle.

10mm's picture

That's called a Thermos sir.

Silver Savior's picture

I don't tip because all I get is drip coffee and it requires no special skill or effort to dispense.