Here Is All You Need To Know To Become A Successful Trader, From JPMorgan

Tyler Durden's picture

Forget the "deep dive" analysis, forget the charts, forget the DCFs, the comps, the "expert network", the "information arbitrage" or insider trading. Forget talking to management, analysts, or employees or even having to pretend to manage money on Yahoo Finance Twitter to impress people you will never meet. 

Courtesy of JPMorgan, here is all you need to know to become a successful trader.

After the dovish hike yesterday, extreme short positioning in bonds, and the selloff in rate sensitive assets (such as precious metals and REITs) snapped back. The short squeeze in these assets could have some momentum in the next several days. The dovish Fed outcome implies that the ‘Fed Put’ is likely still alive and well, so investors should buy on potential market weakness that we think could occur over the next month or so. This approach of buying on weakness is known as “BTD – Buy the Dip” (last two years virtually all of the market’s returns occurred one day after any the pullback i.e. ‘the Dip’). Success of the strategy is often attributed to the dovish resolve of central banks.

Any questions?

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
NugginFuts's picture

I think I just shit myself a little there.

So just keep buying and Mama Yellen will make sure it all turns out alright? Jolly. 

Jim Sampson's picture

I thought it was to be one of TPTB

PT's picture

I'm quite sure the correct phrasing is:  "Buy The FUCKING Dip."

It is this lax inattention to detail that is grinding this country into dust.

manofthenorth's picture


that was easy

and don't forget to tell your friends !!

eatthebanksters's picture

BTFD....there was a guy I worked with who day traded using the BTFD strategy.  He said it was the easiest money he ever made and he made a lot of it.

Beatscape's picture

Getting kinda frothy... just got this email:

The S&P 500 Bull Market Is Back! Double Your Dough With SPY This trade on the SPY ETF can reel in big profits after the Fed gave the stock market a booster shot


Still, BTFD has been working since 2009. Do it until it doesn't work anymore. 


AGuy's picture

"So just keep buying and Mama Yellen will make sure it all turns out alright? Jolly. "

For BTD to work you also need to be TBTF And TBTJ!

Hammer823's picture

"Buying the dip" has worked since 2009. It has to.  The stock market HAS to keep going up over time for our economy to work.

I have used this strategy to day trade for almost 10 years.

I've documented it live for the last 4 months here:

Consistent gains of over 100% per year.

I'm up over 50% in just the last 4 months.

Placing the same trades at the same time.  This is only possible in a rigged system.

And I assure you, the United States stock market is a completely rigged system.


ghengis86's picture

lol...just watched some of your videos.  That's awesome!  One question though; what platform do you trade through and what are your fees per trade?  also, it looks like you're just summing your percentages day after day for 'gross' type of profit; what's the actual net?

Keep u the great work, i love the name "Rigged Street Journal"!

Hammer823's picture

I use E-Trade.  $10 per trade, roundtrip, since I place so many trades.  

Yes, that 52% + is Gross.  I lose about 5% give or take to the cost of placing the trades.

So the actual Net is about 47% for the last 4 months.

I have been doing this for a long time.

My 2016 return was 88% Gross, which was just an "ok" year for me.

ghengis86's picture

thanks for the quick reply.  One last question; tax liability? 

Hammer823's picture

All my gains are taxed as short term capital gains, so, as regular income.

detached.amusement's picture

ironic how the  unconstitutional 16th amendment targeted precisely things like capital gains and NOT INCOME

but that wasnt enough theft for thieves, they had to do more and institute it being taken before we ever see it.

ghengis86's picture

ok, so after fees and taxes, that 88% in 2016 is anywhere from 50-65%, depending on your tax bracket.  So if trading in $25k blocks, you net $12.5-16.25 on the year.  Or minimum $50k on a $100k volume. 

Last and final question; why not lever up to the moon, trade for a year and then retire in the Caymans?!

Hammer823's picture

First of all, I prefer the Hawaiian islands to the Caymans ;)

And yes, I typically enter a trade with a minimum of a 25K commitment, up to 50K to start.  Leaving room to add to the postition at least 2 more times, which I rarely have had to do, since the powers that be are so hell bent on the stock market not giving up one iota of the gains from the last 5 years.

Levering up to the moon is not in my strategy. I considered retiring early (I'm only 40) and doing this full time with all of my money. But I decided that I would be bored.   


mosfet's picture

Yep..Coming to terms that 'Buy N Hold' is and has been dead a long time, means all gains will be at the ass-reaming short-term rate.  This is a fundamental that every serious trader must come to terms with if they actually want to make money.  And, if you hope to BTFD on the same money making stock over & over - All losses will wash sales and not tax deductable.

Uncle Sam is happy to rape us on taxes on profits but if you have a loss, you're on your own.

Evan Wilson's picture

Any idea why this is only happening just now and not in years past?

Or is it that 'way back then', the people in power wanted money to have value and mean something, so they didn't rig the markets to the extent that they are now?

Hammer823's picture

Hey Evan.  In years past, the stock market was not the integral part of the economy it is today.  401k's didn't exist 50 years ago, and were nowhere near the levels they are at today even as recently as 25 years ago, not even close.  Pensions invested primarily in fixed income, now they hold a considerable amount of stock, they have to.  The Federal government collected $300 Billion in Capital Gains taxes last year alone.  That's 10% of total Federal revenue!  401k's have also deferred trillions in taxes from baby boomers, all yet to be paid, and desperately needed since we are 20 Trillion in debt.  OUr debt was never this big, and deferred taxes for the masses, not just the rich, is a completely new thing.  Home ownership used to be the primary source of wealth for our country.  Stock values now are worth DOUBLE all home equity in the United States.  I could go on and on but I think you get the essence of why sthe stock market has to be rigged to go up.  It's too big to fail.

Evan Wilson's picture

Any idea why this is only happening just now and not in years past?

Or is it that 'way back then', the people in power wanted money to have value and mean something, so they didn't rig the markets to the extent that they are now?

Ghost of PartysOver's picture

There is still a huge amount of free money floating around.  Fed raise by a 0.25, whoop-de-do.   The are not pulling money out of the system.  That money has to go somewhere.  The effects of QE in the markets will be around for a long time.

If you are looking for something to lose sleep over then look to the pensions and student debt numbers.  If an implosion comes it will come from there.

NoDebt's picture

So.... I guess we can all go home now.


Tin Hat Salesman's picture

Question. When do we sell?

NoDebt's picture

That was a rhetorical question.  You're not supposed to actually...... nevermind.



101 years and counting's picture

#1-buy stocks



there is never a mention to sell stocks to lock in gains.  just keep betting on the fed to always protect the late comers into an 8+ year fed induced rally.  good luck with that. 

PT's picture

You never sell.  You get stuff revalued and then borrow moar so you can buy moar and then it goes up and so you get it revalued and then you can borrow moar and buy moar.  Becoz interest rates is less than tax rates.

People have told me this with a straight face.  Some of them are still in business.  I guess it must work for them.  It is most distressing to think that I share the planet with these people and they have nice things.

Rolln's picture

Lately, just do exactly oposite of what seems logical and you'll make money...


The machines know us too well, so do it different...

Arnold's picture

So... you are the one buying all those dirty bond bombs?

pound the vix's picture

What?, So I should buy the Dip?

That sounds like a new and exciting idea

buzzsaw99's picture

Any questions?

yeah, what happened to the F?

SubjectivObject's picture

Now we would not want to offend the genteel culture of the JPM bucket shop now would we.

Mike in GA's picture

The People got the F, as in Fucking.


Countrybunkererd's picture

I have a question!  Where is the cartoon video explaining this?  Who wants to read anymore.

Logan 5's picture
Logan 5 (not verified) Mar 16, 2017 3:14 PM
"Here Is All You Need To Know To Become A Successful Trader"


Be a jew ~ (after that, it's as easy as cheating on a history exam in high school sitting next to poindexter).


But don't call yourself Gartman or Ackerman & fuck it all up

chicken_goose's picture

One of these days a load of people are going to pile in to buy a dip but the market will free-fall anyway as those on the inside dump their entire positions. A hell of a lot of dumb investors are going to lose a shit-ton of money when this happens, then they'll finally wonder what was going through their heads as they bought into all time highs at the tail end of the business cycle.

1.21 jigawatts's picture

Create the dip, short the Goyim.

Seasmoke's picture

So the cartoon bears were correct all along ??

TePikoElPozo's picture

i'm contributing the maximum to my 401K

'cuz i be smart

Clowns on Acid's picture

You see JPM could not say "Buy the fuckin' Dip" because of the Dodd Frank Regs.

besnook's picture

in other words, zh has been right on the money for the last 7 years. BTFD!! until further notice, which may be very soon this time. i nibbled on a coupla shorts for the first time since the crash "recovery".

Jack McGriff's picture

I made millions buying the dip and selling when it returns to within 20% of the stock's initial value before the dip!  401k's are for losers and debt slaves. 

Hillarys Server's picture

Great comment, I just downvoted you out of jealousy.

Scuba Steve's picture

huh, i sell option premium on both sides of the fence and do just fine.

A cat can be skinned in more ways than 1. 

Erwin643's picture

You got that right. I've been doing just fine buying and holding short positions on volatility. Only selling when an extreme overbought condition occurs, then getting back in at or near the bottoms of those dips.

WokeNews's picture

i can't believe me eyes.  sell everything

gm_general's picture

BTFD = Be the F**king Dip. You are what you buy.

J bones's picture

I always was told do the opposite. So must be time to SELL SELL SELL!!!