Bearded Midget Reproduction

Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

After I got off the plane and was heading toward the airport exit, I saw something I don't think I had ever seen before: a woman with a beard. Although I only took in this image for a moment, three things were immediately clear to me: (1) she was, in fact, a woman with a full beard (2) even clean-shaved, she would have been quite unattractive (3) she was wearing Star Wars pajamas in the middle of the day at the Los Angeles airport. It was only this third quality that I found undisturbing.


In spite of the pajamas, I did not want to have sex with this person. I did not want her to have children with me. I hope some of you reading this can find sympathy with my disposition.

Many years before this, I encountered a very different woman: a person who was indescribably beautiful and was one of the smartest, if not the smartest, individual I'd ever encountered. I did, in fact, want to have children with her, and as unlikely as it might seem, we did. We've been married a long time, and thanks to the choice I made, I now have beautiful, brilliant kids since I was fortunate enough to marry a beautiful, brilliant woman. DNA is kind of like that.

So I doubt my choice would rub anyone the wrong way, with the exception of whatever young men wanted to have the same outcome as I did but didn't have the opportunity. So in this roundabout way, we come to the topic of eugenics, whose definition from the topmost result in Google is, in part, "the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics. Developed largely by Francis Galton as a method of improving the human race."

It goes on to say eugenics was quite a popular notion until the Nazis embraced it, and then, as with most concepts the Nazis applauded, it kind of lost its lustre.

None of this would be on my mind were it not for the top story in Palo Alto's little newspaper:


You see, about a year ago, some nut job in the city got his panties in a wad that the people for whom some of Palo Alto's schools were named might not totally agree with his own politics, so he compelled the district to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on the Renaming Schools Advisory Committee, which I suspect consisted of people with the same smug self-assurance as the Film Actors Guild did in Team America.

So after a year of debate and research into the seventeen school names here in Palo Alto, they decided that two men - Terman and Jordan - were supporters of eugenics when they were alive (pretty much like everyone else back in those days), and their names should therefore be stripped from the campuses (which itself is going to cost more money).

I want to make clear I do not support the forced sterilization of unattractive or stupid people. The shareholders of Walmart would lose out, and frankly, the state shouldn't get itself anymore involved in our lives than it already is. Allow me to lay out a couple of facts:

(1) The majority of  people of my left-leaning city objected to the renaming, so the board's decision actually ran against what the public wanted.

(2) Kids in school don't give a flying shit about the background of the person for whom their school was named. Give me a break! For instance, I went to a middle school called Joaquin Moraga. I assure you, at no point during my time there did we discuss the background or beliefs of Mr. Moraga. Added to which, should it have come to light that, in the loneliness of the mid-19th century California hills, Mr. Moraga liked to have intercourse with unsuspecting sheep, we still wouldn't have devoted our energy to renaming the place to something more politically palatable like, say, Caitlyn Jenner Junior High.

My little anecdote at the start of this post suggests that I was, in my own private way, exercising a form of eugenics, and it was for selfish reasons, not the betterment of mankind. We are a devolving race, however, since what I've consistently seen in my life, without exception, is that the best-looking, best-paid, most-attractive couples that I know have maybe one kid (or many times ZERO kids), whereas repugnant dumbshits seem to excel at only one thing in life, and that is making lots of copies of themselves.

A specific anecdote about this can be had from just last week, when I went to a private screening of a forthcoming movie starring this lovely young girl. Her parents were both there, and holy Lord, they both looked like they were international models. During the Q&A, it came to light that McKenna was their only child, and I just wanted to grab them both and shout, "What's wrong with you two? Look at her! Make more kids!" But I controlled myself.

I'll close by offering up the response one of the Renaming committee members offered the reporter when asked why the board (unanimously!) voted in favor of the action. I want to stress that this is a real quote:

The renaming will allow students who feel targeted by these names to not have to think about this when they are in the classroom. This way they can spend all their time on their education, so the district can actually close the achievement gap, which is its goal.

So let me get this straight. Until now, a given child - - let's say an underachieving, gender-questioning, one-legged kid - - sat in their classroom with this thought: "My classmates will not want to reproduce with me when I am an adult. I do not have desirable genes. I am thinking of this because this school was named after a man who, one hundred years ago, supported the idea of eugenics, and in a society controlled by such a man, I would be sterilized and would not have the opportunity to reproduce."

I will stand in front of God almighty and declare that such thoughts were not had. I strongly suspect far more prevalent were thoughts about Snapchat, what crap they were serving as lunch today, and how many minutes until the bell rang so I could leave this goddamned school and go home.

One last tidbit about eugenics - - want to know another famous person who supported it? A chap named Nikola Tesla. I think the good members of the aforementioned board should surrender their $100,000 vehicles as an expression of solidarity and integrity.

So for any of you who figured the days of a dozen different kinds of bathroom designations, safe spaces, and special snowflakes were over, I can tell you they are not. On the contrary, I suspect the insanity we saw peaking in 2016 is, within two or three years, going to re-emerge with a vengeance.

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Overdrawn's picture

There is nature & there is nurture, both are required to create a beautiful human being.

Nature can get a helping hand with cosmetic surgery these days, but if a child has been the victim of trailer trash parents, it is likely they will end up as trailer trash themselves.

83_vf_1100_c's picture

'bearded midget woman in star wars jammies'

Without pics you are making this shit up. Maybe it was a dude in the middle of his sex change. Midgets as a rule don't make a lot of money and it probably took years just to afford the tits. It is sad commentary on life in the USA that migets cant get a million dollar contract with the NBA. #egualpayforlittle people.  /s

bh2's picture

With the sole exception of J.E.B. Stuart High School, from which I graduated, I have absolutely no memory of the names of any of the (literally) dozens of schools I attended as a service brat dragged around the world like a rag doll in the mouth of an energetic terrier. It would never have occurred to me that the name of the school I was attending had any relevancy to my life or attention.

Nor do I recall any classmates ever expressing curiousity about who these schools were named for or what -- if anything -- any of them achieved in life to warrant naming a school after them. I also don't wonder much about who streets are named after, either, although renaming streets appears to be a very big thing in some communities. Whatever.

koan's picture

Eugenics will be all the rage when the genes can be modified prior to birth, you see that fits with a certain groups World view.

It's only after the birth of a child that "old World" eugenics could be verified and "corrected".
As anyone with the least bit of knowledge about genetics knows, even 2 perfect people don't necessarily make perfect babies.

With gene modification, the dregs will be eliminated prior to ever being born.

dvfco's picture

You might be missing the author's point.  With gene modification, rich couples will make one 'perfect' child, not 20.  Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks, so but-ass-ugly ho on welfare will still be popping them out every year.

koan's picture

I don't think so, what will happen is some form of birth control that is mandatory.
How? Simple, you want a "guaranteed living wage" such that we have been hearing about, then you submit to birth control.

any_mouse's picture


- Improving the human conditon through responsible reproduction.


- Creating a master race. (With AshkeNAZI added for added effect..)


"Unintended" consquences of "good" intentions:

Introduction of modern medicine to groups that reproduce at a high rate to just survive without a compensating change in reproductive behavior. For every starving child saved, one less should be born.

Monetizing out of wedlock births of low productivity groups, multiplying fatherless feral children, creating a multi generational sub caste.

If they are going to stigmatize Jordan and Terman, then they will stigmatize Sanger's Planned Parenthood.


Civil "rights" are only for those who are civil.

DuneCreature's picture

Fear not, the eugenic crowd are still alive and well and are hard at work. We are all on the dumb down, asset strip and kill off list no matter how beautiful and smart your children are.

We are all just the wrong bloodline and have empathy with each other and that is where we are coming up short.

~~~~~~~~~{{{ CHEMTRAILS That Don't Exist - 101 }}}~~~~~~~~~

Suggested course of study =

Listen to this:

And watch this at the same time:

What does all of this crop dusting do to the human body?

Now, walk outside.

One more just in case you aren't getting it, yet:

Live Hard, There Are A Lot Of Ways To Wage War And Some Of Them Are So Stealthy You Don't Even Realize You Have Been Attacked Until It Is Way Too Late To Defend Yourself, Die Free

~ DC v5.0

shimmy's picture

I love when people act like their wives are so beautiful and amazing when usually they are anything but. Marriage bias is great.

Kidbuck's picture

When George Washington ceased to be important enough to people to have his own name on a holiday it was the beginning of the end. Yet some no count minister that led a movement that began the decline of his congregation, by substituting political action for individual self responsibility, gets his name on a Federal holiday. Ain't that America?

ebworthen's picture

"I'm Matt Damon!"

StagStopa's picture

Timmy, another aimless, poorly written jackoff. No one gives a shit about your cunt. Another revealing look at your sexual and misanthropic ignorance.


I know how you really feel. Youre sick of the tedious kabuki you perform, day after miserable day, with your cunt.

She doesn't love you. You are a sperm donor and a paycheck. She's already bred, so she is rapidly losing what little interest she had in you. A cunt loves only one thing...her offspring.

You dream of serving a powerful trans Mistress, to take control of your silly life.



Zer0head's picture

I disagree with everything you just rote Rox, but LOLOLOL (except the kabuki part, which stings bad)

treefeller's picture

Since irony know no bounds, I will say here that public schools are the devils playground. The AES changed their name a couple of times since the Great War. Eugenics bought us the SAT tests, forced sterilization, the break up of the black community, medical testing on unsuspecting victims, forced sex changes and the list goes on and on. It's fucking horrific. And we paid with our tax money the very pograms that have caused GREAT harm to the society at large. Fuck em.

Common_Law's picture

The eugenics movement is still alive and well just in a more powerful centralised fashion, the UN.

It now goes by the names: population control and family planning.

For example, 79 percent of Planned Parenthood’s surgical abortion facilities are located within walking distance of black or Hispanic communities.

StagStopa's picture

Yes, of course, that is plain common sense. The idiots, the lazy, the fatties, are breeding out of control. Look around you. 

Fucking cunts are creating unimaginable suffering, and breeding the entire planet to the bottom.

A Fucking race to the bottom. Can't be denied.


No.51's picture

Everyone on earth should watch that Documentary.

Arnold's picture

Planned Parenthood.
Margret Sanger.

Ratio finis.

Alananda's picture

BINGO! Beat me to that evil, perverse litany. I might add, Adolf Hitler reportedly admired the work of Margaret Sanger.