Mass Effect: Andromeda - Sucky Animations, Bigoted Designer And Fugly Females Result In Canceled Pre-Orders

ZeroPointNow's picture

On Tuesday, the latest installment of the once awesome "Mass Effect" intergalactic action-role playing franchise will be released. Developed by BioWare and published by Electronic Arts ($EA),  Mass Effect: Andromeda is already drawing massive ire from fans over horrendous graphics, ugly female characters, and one majorly bigoted designer who hates white people.

STRIKE 1: Emotionless Facial Expressions And Horrendous Animations:

Nothing takes you right out of a virtual experience faster than creepy bush-league animations; as in - the original Mass Effect from 2007 looked better (see comparison below)


Review by xLatalis

STRIKE 2: Ugly Female Characters

Bioware has been invaded by Social Justice Warriors; millennial feminists who believe the white-male dominated "patriarchy" is the reason opinionated purple-haired land whales aren't landing jobs. SJW females are threatened by women who keep their shit dialed in. They'd rather neglect their shapeless pre-diabetic bodies while bitching about "mansplaining" and other recently invented triggers.

Here's a picture of the male and female protagonist voice actors from Mass Effect: Andromeda

The only time she smiles is while chopping your dick off...

Note to Bioware / EA: gamers don't buy role playing games to be in the friendzone. They buy them to engage in fantasy. That 200lb neckbearded troll in the corner of Starbucks may look disgusting, nipples protruding - but in the virtual world he's a tanned and chiseled hero, decelerating from trans-dimensional warp strapped into his Faster Than Light space steed - on a mission to save a big breasted damsel in distress, who will reward his gallantry with mass quantities of intercourse. Nobody wants Pepperidge-farm stuffing androgynous bitches in their virtual world.


Gamers want Ivanka, yet BioWare is giving them Chelsea...

STRIKE 3: Bigoted Designer

Perhaps the best way to drive die-hard fans away, aside from horrendous animations and fugly potato-faced women - is to repeatedly insult an entire demographic on Twitter.

Aaaand, people are canceling their pre-orders (scroll down for general commentary):

There's a lot of air under that chart EA... 


Content originally generated at * Follow on Twitter @ZeroPointNow

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Panic Mode's picture

Female characters in Witcher 3 are so gorgeous, they give me a boner.

Dusty Rhodes' Muffler's picture

Hey Saddam...Here's a bomb!

cheech_wizard's picture

Sad but true...

Igor enters a butchery to buy some "brains" and finds all brands are priced about 2.00/pound, but one tray labeled "Democrats" was costing 10.00/pound; he asked the butcher the reason why this brain is so expensive, and the answer was:
- Do you how many Democrats you have to kill to get a single pound of brain?

PoasterToaster's picture
PoasterToaster (not verified) Mar 19, 2017 2:07 PM

Get the curry out of computer land.  Make computing great again.

Dave Thomas's picture

The same thing is happening to Science Fiction.

Turn on Doctor Who nowadays, it's always some fat white guy who's getting killed or the evil ignorance in the episode.

And of course the hero is a fiesty young black woman.

The funny thing is that the BBC is trying so hard you can't help but notice how forced and awkward it is, which brings you back to the next question.

Who do they think their demographic is?

Basically EA is like the WalMart of video games, they'll continue to churn out pablum until they realize all too late that nobody's playing their shitty games anymore, and tinyer more independant design houses will eat their lunch. After all we're talking software here so you don't need a huge brick and mortar anymore.

The same thing that's happening to Tor Books due to their forced SJW nonesene, little indie publishers who publish science fiction fans want like Castalia House, will flourish.


aloha_snakbar's picture

No matter how many times I see a picture of that epic Skankasaurus Chelsea Hubbell... it always shivers me timbers...

HRH Feant's picture
HRH Feant (not verified) Mar 19, 2017 1:30 PM

First of all, thank you to the Tyler's for an excellent gaming article! I especially like that you showed someone using Twitch.TV while at PAX East (Penny Arcade East). Well done! (This is in the first video).

Tha last video is hilarious! At 2:30 the reviewer is showing the real models that were used to create the ingame characters and he is showing the female actor compared to the female ingame character and says, "look here, the developer beat her with the ugly stick and the only way to fix her is with professional makeup artists." Hahahahahaha!

shimmy's picture

I buy games for the fun factor and if this game is fun then I will buy it. I don't care if the females don't look good nor do I care what the fucking voice actors look like. Anyone who gives a shit what the voice actors look like must be a complete idiot. 

As for that designer guy, he's clearly an idiot but his idiocy isn't enough to make me boycott the game and the enjoyment I would have from it if it is good. Boycotting something that would provide me enjoyment is the same stupidity as the libtards who boycott anything they think is connected to Trump or those they don't like.

If I went around boycotting all products from companies that had employees that say shit I don't like then I'd be boycotting everything. If it isn't sjw libtards working at a company then it is probably morons on the other side that blame everything on immigrants and Muslims and other shit, basically the mindless group of Trumptards out there. I doubt any company is fully staffed by rational, generally unbiased, human beings. 


cheech_wizard's picture

I see you don't get out of the basement much. The only question I have for you is whose basement are you currently living in?

Standard Disclaimer: And some people say Eugenics was a bad idea...

GotAFriendInBen's picture




ZeroPointNow's picture



Peak Finance's picture

EA is a public company

40 Million on a game that sucks

Hires Racists

This is "material"

This story belongs here.  

HRH Feant's picture
HRH Feant (not verified) GotAFriendInBen Mar 19, 2017 1:51 PM

Because gaming is a multibillion dollar business. If you have any investments in Bioware you might be interested in the point of view of the game developer and the point of view of fans and how those will affect current- and future-sales. Pre-orders are a way for old games to maintain an income stream. When people start cancelling pre-orders that is not good. The people that purchase pre-orders are usually long time fans of a particular game. Apparently the developer of this game forgot the cardinal rule for writers: never insult your audience. That is a sure-fire tactic to make sure your audience vaporizes and that you, as a writer, are forgotten.

aloha_snakbar's picture

Is it me, or is the fat guy with purple hair channeling Donna Brazille?

aloha_snakbar's picture

PeeBee looks like the illegitimate love child of Giovanni Ribisi and Leonardo DiCarpio....

IdioTsincracY's picture

Things are being patched


Rikky's picture

these SJW people just don't understand action and consequence so they'll learn the hard way.

SMC's picture

Yet another failed venue of snowflake propaganda, just like the Cartoon News Network.

Smedley's picture

The creeps running the show now have HATED blonde hair and blue eyes for HUNDREDS  of years and the history goes back all the way to Europe. Now, they've got her willingly breeding herself out!

And then the creepy chicks go out and dye their hair blonde as if they are their replacement! 


Hilarious.....the ignorance!


Lonesome Crow's picture

Good art depicts things how they might or ought to be not how they have been.

DieSocialJusticeWankers's picture

Indian men HAAATE white men...we steal their women (the 12 that are attractive), dominate the world, and walk around like we own it. Indian men are manlets, weak, skinny, pathetic, poo in the street, curry bombs.  Notice the famous Bollywood actors are super light skinned.

Buy stock in skin's all the rage in India!

serotonindumptruck's picture

I heard once that where one falls within the Indian caste system is largely a determination based on skin tone. I also recall something about the origins of the "Aryan" race existing on the Indian subcontinent.

I wasn't aware that Indian males have a dislike for white males. The few that I've interacted with seemed pleasant enough, but then again, I am a typical racist, bigoted white male.

Smedley's picture

Proof of, 

1) The creeps running the show now are TERRIBLY envious of beauty (because they're not). This is also why they have played the hot white chick with the superstar over and over on the TeeVee. They are going to breed her out and you've seen the replacement! It's about 'fairness'.

After all, when everyone is brown, we will all be 'equal', right?

Plus, if we all confess our 'white privilege' and just go along with it, it will be OK. Otherwise, you are a racist!! Got it?

2) They have penetrated every aspect of our lives down to video gaming. Scary, isn't?

Waaaaaay past creepy now.....

Raul44's picture

Waiting for CPY release...

Avichi's picture

@Manveerheir, is one of those Millennials offsprings of a INDIAN IMMIGRANT who came in 1970-1980 and must have worked hard to become successful, and now the offspring -@Manveerheir thinks just because he is born in US/CANADA and is a offspring of a immigrant can make "RACIST" claims and get away with it. a typical SOCIALIST/ACTIVIST, who thinks he is making a POLITICAL POINT, @Manveerheir you are just a COG in the wheel, $EA can FIRE YOU anytime, and you will be just another F*** roadkill SOCIALIST, Manveer and likes, be thankful to your adopted country, and that you were born in CANADA/AMERICA and USA, go back to your own parents PUNJAB and see how you guys treat women. Look at the way you treat your women in your adopted countries also, 

Another case

Another Case :


Now go ahead call me a WHITE RACIST..You will be disappointed.

Avichi's picture

WE THE PEOPLE , It time to SHORT $EA  STOCK, When a company starts becoming a Activist/Political Propaganda machine for the FAR LEFT SOCIALIST/SNOWFLAKES/DEMOCRATS, it is time they have lost the core values of a companies goal. -SHARE HOLDER VALUE /SHARE HOLDER RETURN. Your hard earned money is not worth a penny for this company. SHORT THE SHIT OUT OF THIS COMPANY, We all know what happened to $AMZN,$SBUX, when they tried the SOCIAL ENGINEERING PROPAGANDA. DUMP THE STOCK, and SEND A MESSAGE ON MONDAY MORNING 

Swamidon's picture

Be sure to put this hobby on job applications.  Interesting when ugly girls are everywhere today and you can't even find a decent one in your fantasies.

gregga777's picture

The game designer must have a thing for plastic-faced women just out of a cut-rate plastic surgeons den of horrors.  Just imagine what those women looked like BEFORE the plastic surgery!!!

Moustache Rides's picture

EA is the Obama of the game developer world.  Everything it touches turns to shit.

Misean's picture

+100000000000000 Quatloos! Yeah, there's gotta be a LOT of air under that stock's price.

Dusty Rhodes' Muffler's picture

This looks like poo...

Misean's picture

Sorry Manveer Heir, but you are a caucasian you fucking dumb fuck. As are most India-ans.

Woohoo for H1B's.

Prolly makes 1/10th what an American would make and loves it because the cast system in his own country means he'd live in a mud hole.

Anyway, I like a good video game. But I've steered clear of EA published games for a while now. They are by far the worst publisher out there. They have some megaqq titles (mostly past) but once they get hold of a studio they destroy it and the games.

Also most gamers aren't fat loosers Mr. ZeroPointNow, just normal guys doing what guys do. Instead of sitting around a table smoking, drinking and plying cards, some of us choose to smoke, drink get online and play video games. It's one of those preference/freedom things we libertarians like to go on about.

Anywho, you ought to research gamer-gate before you go popping off on gamers. We fought back. Don't see many bellyachers on this board doing anything but bitching.

ZeroPointNow's picture

Calm down Misean, I'm a gamer - though pretty fucking disillusioned after FO4. Not enough vaults, forced boyscout bullshit, and the voice acting totally limited immersion. 

I have hundreds of hours into the Borderlands franchise (nobody fucks with Axton), lived in Skyrim for months, and still waiting for HL3. 

As far as gamer-gate, what did it accomplish? Cucked game after cucked game full of SJW political correctness are coming out of major studios. The "sandbox" is an illusion. 

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Why is it necessary for EA to acquire the studios in the first place?  Why can't they just develop stories, sign developers, and make games?  Oh, because no one wants to work for EA, and make their politically driven churned out glitchy games.  And even at the studios they buy, the lead developers usually quit sooner afterwards!

This is the corporate culture that thinks they can save their brand with a PR campaign (go back to making the games customers want?  Don't be silly).

drdolittle's picture

Time to short EA.

When the chicks in your fantasy land look as shitty as the ones in real life, your life really blows. I bet this game doesn't sell well. How hard up would you have to be to hit plump purple hair? 

Misean's picture

Did you just add "plump" or am I just getting old?

BarkingCat's picture

what do you mean "getting"?


(rim shot)

LyLo's picture

First, I find myself over at Breitbart reading their tech stories, now fucking ZH?  My God, it's a brave new world out there...  This is the farthest from a complaint possible.  Fucking more please.

My husband's over here reading fucking Kotaku.  (Don't read them, btw. I swear it's making him dumber.)  Apparently, you're wrong on every level, you see.  What you forgot to mention is a female did the graphics for this game, and she's getting harassed online and it's the worst thing ever.  It can't be because the graphics suck, and the game looks terrible, it's all because her muff.

Breitbart dumping Milo is the dumbest move they've ever made as a company, and their tech section is already nowhere near the amazing level Milo had taken it.  If ZH starts doing gaming and tech...  Well, fucking hell, I'd be happy as a clam. 


ZeroPointNow's picture

LOL, thanks! Tell your husband he shouldn't assume the graphic designer's gender unless they have specifically self-identified as female. BioWare is run by hyper-feminists and SJWs now so we wouldn't want to trigger anyone with assumptions. 

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I remember when these sites all got taken over by corporate overlords years ago... IGN, Otaku, and many others.

It all started with... Forum censorship!  Too much truth was being revealed among the game community.

And its always the same game plan "Sir, we have received notification that there is RACIST HATE SPEECH on your forum.  Please remove the offensive posts or face legal action".  Yep, thats what talking about Hollywood, the Fed, Wall St and the history of medieval moneylending will get you!

aloha_snakbar's picture

I guess for people that do not have  significant others/actual hobbies/a life...'gaming' might be a reasonable facsimile...

I am almost positive I could not work with Manveer for more than an hour without having to drag his effete, H1B ass into a bathroom and giving him a new, white ceramic hat...

LyLo's picture

My husband and I are gamers.  We just had a huge party with all of our friends where we set up VR and had a blast.  Smoked pork and rolls while we were playing; whipped everything together before everyone arrived, all homemade.  Fucking blast.  Today, we're going out geode hunting with my dad.  Next weekend, if the weather holds up, we're taking out the canoe.  In between, we're going to be playing even more video games.

But you know, go ahead and judge your fellow ZHers as useless eaters with no love-life or hobbies because we use our computers for more than commenting on the interwebs.

aloha_snakbar's picture

We just had a huge party with all of our friends where we set up VR and had a blast. You should have t-shirts made up... *DorkFest 2017* maybe?

I am guessing you and your "husband" probably have a VR sex life, also?

One of the few reasons I can imagine for wasting valuable time with VR is because your actual reality sucks majorly...

cheech_wizard's picture

Then you're not doing it right. Hey I have a joke for you aloha...

How does a muslim man initiate foreplay?

He tickles the goat under the chin...



SaintsFan's picture

We did the exact same thing.  And yes it was a blast.

jmack's picture

 What is a geode?

peippe's picture

well-rounded rock with crystal structure along the hollow insides.