China Foils "Toilet Revolution" Bandits With Facial Recognition In Public Restrooms

Tyler Durden's picture

As part of China’s efforts to spur tourism with a “toilet revolution,” Consumerist's Mary Beth Quirk reports that bathrooms at tourist sites will now use facial recognition to keep them from grabbing too much toilet paper. Yes, this means your face could be scanned in the john.

The toilet paper thieves of the Temple of Heaven Park were an elusive bunch, writes The New York Times Javier Hernandez; they looked like most park visitors, practicing tai chi, dancing in the courtyards and stopping to take in the scent of ancient cypress and juniper trees. But hidden in their oversize shopping bags and backpacks was a secret: sheet upon sheet of crumpled toilet paper, plucked surreptitiously from public restrooms.

Now the authorities in Beijing are fighting back, going so far as to install high-tech toilet paper dispensers equipped with facial recognition software in several restrooms.

Before entering restrooms in the park, visitors must now stare into a computer mounted on the wall for three seconds before a machine dispenses a sheet of toilet paper, precisely two feet in length.

If visitors require more, they are out of luck. The machine will not dispense a second roll to the same person for nine minutes.

“The people who steal toilet paper are greedy,” said He Zhiqiang, 19, a customer service worker from the northwestern region of Ningxia.

 

“Toilet paper is a public resource. We need to prevent waste.”

Qin Gang, 63, taking a stroll through the park with his wife, said China’s history of crippling poverty had left some people eager to exploit public goods.

“It’s a very bad habit,” Mr. Qin said.

 

“Maybe we can use technology to change how people think.”

One wonders which department of Chinese natural resource protection was responsible for deciding that 24 inches of single-ply TP was 'enough'.. or for that matter, why a 9 minute break between wipes? Still, these are the wonders of 'new' communism

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El Vaquero's picture

I hate poopin' in public places, but we all hate that.  

1980XLS's picture

I thought that might be a condom dispensing Machine.

1980XLS's picture

Asians love their Shitters.

 

I bought a "TOTO Too!"

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/japan-has-a-thing-for-toilets-and-n...

 

Even Abe shits on a Toto

JungleCat's picture

The things that shortages and poverty will make people do.

Despite this news, I have to agree with Monty Python: I like Chinese!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH2P_pVze6s

They're cute and their cuddly and they're ready to please.

Croesus's picture

Must be one hell of a face recognition database...they all look the same to me.

WTFRLY's picture

Croesus is your thread winner.

SafelyGraze's picture

nobody uses toilet paper any more

 

space shitle's picture
space shitle (not verified) SafelyGraze Apr 5, 2017 7:01 AM

I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do... http://bit.ly/2jdTzrM

Platinum's picture

I reckon a white person could get twice as much. The first picture normal, the second one VERY stoned.

2_legs_bahhhhhd's picture

Lol

If that machine was made in China, it will break down in no time flat.

Ruh roh rotsa ruck

stubb's picture

Our brilliant socialist toilets will crush the imperialists and western running dogs! America is a wasteful toilet-paper tiger! 

TxExPat's picture

Yea, precisely 2 feet does sound about right...

 

Implied Violins's picture

...not if you're visiting Mexico. Twenty feet might not even be enough.

TxExPat's picture

Post got out of sequence as other people jumped in, was supposed to be a joke reply to the guy saying he thought it was a condom despensing machine...

 

Stuck on Zero's picture

They don't need this technology in Venezuela. They use cash.

Mr. Magoo's picture

They do something similar in Ecuador, they have a person guarding the toilet paper and you have to pay a dime for  about two feet and that's all you get 

e_goldstein's picture

Hey, EV. Thanks again for the links to the Ray Archuleta videos. They answered a lot of my questions.

To return the favor, I want to introduce you to the Compost Goddess:

Spoiler alert, it's not Elaine Ingham.

Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jErga1eP718

QuantumEasing's picture

95% of people carry packets of their own, and if you go, it is HIGHLY recommended you bring a bunch.

Jim in MN's picture

This is how the world ends....

Not with a bang, but with a toilet literally spawning Big Brother while the masses applaud.

junction's picture

One more sign that China is in deep "doo-doo".

Bigly's picture

You know your society sucks when people steal tp (and you are not venezuela).   It is by mutual agreement that if you need to go to one you have to have tp....how rude.  And then to put cameras there.. ..

Just Diarrhea that lens.

Atomizer's picture

One minute difference, I was typing.. you posted. Two minds think alike. 

+1000

Croesus's picture

You could always carry some nitrile gloves on you, and do what this guy did, when people were watching him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmnjSbgZgHA

Atomizer's picture

Determination of hard or soft stool passage. Diarrhea might splash into camera lens. 

booboo's picture

“Toilet paper is a public resource. We need to prevent waste.”

Like water? Like from out the toilet? Personlly I use a bidet that shoots a consentrated stream of Brawndo at my bung hole. Its all the rage in France.

Atomizer's picture

They can live in the outskirts of South Pacific rim. Use a commode and wipe their ass with thy hand. 

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSwQ39sVZbHI3CFsYT...

83_vf_1100_c's picture

Never used a bidet. Don't your balls get wet? Now your ass and your balls are wet. Toilet paper is still needed to dry or a cotton towel.

whoisjg's picture

my robotic bidet climbs out from behind a shelf then spray massages me from underneath. a valve controls how strong. a few seconds and I'm clean and i shake off and get up. sometimes I use a slice of paper towell to dry sometimes not. much cleaner than toilet paper much much better for women too as it cleans out the v-j-j

Reichstag Fire Dept.'s picture

Isn't it "the people's" toilet paper in a communist country? 

DrZipp's picture

Facial recognition in China? Rottsa Ruck! All rook same.

Bill of Rights's picture

That's some funny shit right there.. punt intended. Amazing here we are 2017! and still like the Nazi before him people allow this shit to happen.

kenzo7's picture

Wait, all the South-Eastern Asia use some kind of "ass douch", so they don't need to wait another 9 minures. BTW this is the best thing ever invented. When I came back home from my Asian trip, next day I made the same thing in my home. Srsly, I recommend.

roddy6667's picture

That is called Fecal Recognition Technology.

gregga777's picture

A machine that size can't very well hold much toilet paper.  What happens when it runs out?  And just 2-feet of single-ply per person?  Holy shitty fingers, Batman!!!  I sure hope those people wash their hands thoroughly with hot soap and water afterwards because they are going to need it.

BarkingCat's picture

The Japanese are known as being very hygienic.

Provably the cleanest people on the planet.

The Chinese? Not so much.

ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

then they should have no problem cleaning up around Fukushima, only then will i be impressed.

fannyplucker's picture

It is 1984 type of government. They may even have dick recognition technology hidden in the urinal.

Xena fobe's picture

When they started moving in to So Cal, all restaurants had to put the plastic forks, catsup, sugar packets, straws, paper napkins, etc. behind the counter.  Ever see them at a convention?  If a tray of pastries is brought out for a large group of people, the first one dumps the entire tray into his bag. 

 

DrZipp's picture

Yeah the chineeze are fukin jewz.

Bernie Madolf's picture

Hahaha!

Coming to an airport near you...

Atomizer's picture

Japan must be fiddling with the recipe of turd burger, again

Solution to the Global Food Crisis - Let them eat TURD BURGERS ...

Stormtrooper's picture

Hmmm.  Sounds like a business opportunity for vendors to sell cheap artificial retinas to fake the machines.

Genby's picture

I thought, only Ukrainians steal toilet paper from hotels and public restrooms.

daveO's picture

Jehovah's Witnesses from Fla. too.

buzzsaw99's picture

they should use ass recognition software if they want to dispense the proper amount.

That tallywhacker had a mole on it. And that mole is the key to it. [/Balbricker, Porky's ]

SantaClaws's picture

At least they don't use both face and ass recognition software.  "Sorry, that's someone else's ass, no paper this time."