An Analysis of the Trump-Bartiromo Exchange Which Involved President XI, Chocolate Cake and Missile Strikes

The_Real_Fly's picture

When I saw the Fox Business interview with Maria Bartiromo and Donald Trump, I was perplexed by what I had just bored witness to. It's not every day that you get to sit on the precipice of world war, and rarely do you get to see an interview as bizarre as this one. First, go watch the exchange and then come back for proper analysis.

BARTIROMO: When you were with the president of China, you're launching these military strikes.

So, he decided to attack Syria with Russia in it during dinner time with President Xi. Was this happenstance or by design? I'm thinking design.

BARTIROMO: Was that planned?
How did that come about that it's happening right then, because right there, you're saying a reminder, here's who the superpower in the world is, right?
TRUMP: You have no idea how many people want to hear the answer to this. I have had — I have watched speculation for three days now on what that was like (INAUDIBLE).

What the fuck is going on with Maria Bartiromo here? Is this merely the case of a woman being attracted to an alpha male, in this case bombing the shit out of evil doers? Notice how Trump didn't answer whether he planned to bomb over dinner or not? That's because he planned it.
Trump's answer was boastful -- elated to share the gossip with a fellow conservatard.
"Now for dessert, the President would like to inform you of war."

BARTIROMO: When did you tell him?
TRUMP: But I'll tell you (INAUDIBLE)...

Wow, what the fuck is going on here? Maria practically jumped out of her seat upon learning that he'd share the gosp.

BARTIROMO: Before dessert or what?
TRUMP: But I will tell you, only because you've treated me so good for so long, I have to (INAUDIBLE) right?

Trump decides to reward her for good behavior. Here it comes.

I was sitting at the table. We had finished dinner. We're now having dessert. And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it.
And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded, what do you do?
And we made a determination to do it, so the missiles were on the way. And I said, Mr. President, let me explain something to you. This was during dessert.
We've just fired 59 missiles, all of which hit, by the way, unbelievable, from, you know, hundreds of miles away, all of which hit, amazing.
BARTIROMO: Unmanned?

What the fuck did I just read? Is there anything more gluttonous than bombing a country over dinner whilst eating chocolate cake? The decadence of that moment must've been surreal. As you could see by the facial expressions of Bartiromo, she was definitely envisioning herself in the ornate room with President Trump and Xi -- devouring the rich, velvety, creamy, chocolate cake --  brimming with hedonism -- relishing the idea of killing people solely for the purpose of expressing power.

TRUMP: It's so incredible. It's brilliant. It's genius. Our technology, our equipment, is better than anybody by a factor of five. I mean look, we have, in terms of technology, nobody can even come close to competing.
Now we're going to start getting it, because, you know, the military has been cut back and depleted so badly by the past administration and by the war in Iraq, which was another disaster.
So what happens is I said we've just launched 59 missiles heading to Iraq and I wanted you to know this. And he was eating his cake. And he was silent.

Ooh, the intrigue. Plus one for Maria for reminding Trump on who he bombed. And a bigly shout out to President Trump for finding out the mathematical advantage that we have over our adversaries.
"We are better than thou by a factor of thrice. Good day to you Sir."

TRUMP: Yes. Heading toward Syria. In other words, we've just launched 59 missiles heading toward Syria. And I want you to know that, because I didn't want him to go home. We were almost finished. It was a full day in Palm Beach. We're almost finished and I — what does he do, finish his dessert and go home and then they say, you know, the guy you just had dinner with just attacked a country?
BARTIROMO: How did he react?

Again, giddy, the two of them were enjoying a moment as if they were sharing a secret in the privacy of their upper library --domiciled in the eastern wing of their palatial estates. Trump dropped the bomb on Xi, while eating chocolate cake, fattened up by all of the excesses the Mar a Lago staff had prepared for the men.

TRUMP: So he paused for 10 seconds and then he asked the interpreter to please say it again. I didn't think that was a good sign.

(nervous) What will he say? Will he get up, say 'fuck you' and declare war, or finish his cake and agree to wanton hostilities with other super nuclear powers?

And he said to me, anybody that uses gases — you could almost say or anything else — but anybody that was so brutal and uses gases to do that young children and babies, it's OK.
BARTIROMO: He agreed.
TRUMP:He was OK with it. He was OK.

Whew, thank God President Xi is against using 'gasses' on babies, otherwise that course might've ended a bit awkward.
In short, the President exerted his muscles, knocked out a Syrian military airbase for a few hours, risked WW3 with Russia, and got to enjoy the very best chocolate cake with the President of China. Everyone won.


Not everyone agreed that Trump's dinnertime war announcement was the best moment in American diplomacy.

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DuneCreature's picture

At least he didn't invite the Chicom president into his home theater to watch the Tomahawks land (All over the map in AND out of Syria, BTW. .... But they did ALL land, I'll give Trump that.) on his 50 foot (diagonal) wide screen HDTV. ...... While enjoying his cake/beautiful/chocolate. ... He looked like a fisherman bragging up the pastry chef ... That slice of cake was a foot and a half tall by dandy Don's estimation.

Live Hard, My Politics Are Null and Void And My Soldier Of Fortune Has Been Reserved For The Security And Exclusive Use Of The Vivacious Ms Creature, Die Free

~ DC v5.0

ZeroPointNow's picture

Project OrangeBeam. Harambe was a false flag.

SixIsNinE's picture

RIP Harambe. talk about a Beautiful Creature!

Gorillaz Unite!

VWAndy's picture

 Im thinkin pod people.

SmittyinLA's picture

When told of the missile attack President Xi immediately developed a tiny chubby at the honor of peon executions in Syria in the most expensive way possible, the ultimate in dinner entertainment

Ozymango's picture

I thought my head was beyond exploding, but my head just exploded.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'm telling you now.....I'm not going to clean it up.


DuneCreature's picture

Are you telling us this is a 'bring your own towel and bandages' kind of club is it?

Live Hard, You Know Times Are Hard When The First Aid Cabinet Is Slam Out Of Amyl Nitrate, Aspirin And Extra Large Tampons, Die Free

~ DC v5.0

waldo simon's picture

Has Prez Trump been cloned already ?

Sinophile's picture

Trump just seems to go gaga over any skirt with too much make-up on........

SixIsNinE's picture

boys will be boyz....

thank god he grew up before we had the hundreds of genders...

the wommenz are so confuzzed nowadays!

BGO's picture

Trump says he attacked Iraq. A news reader corrects him so he doesn't look like a bigger idiot than he already does.

As a side note, if the interview was shot from the waist up, it might look like Trump was fingerfucking Maria's fat ass during the entire clip. Lucky for Maria she's too stupid to realize she should be embarrassed of herself for that performance.

Trump has no idea what's going on. Based on the interview, he also looks like one of the least presidential leaders this country has produced since maybe Johnson. At least Barry could shuck and jive.

Amazing how everything could fall apart so fast.

Al Bondiga's picture

In deed, Barry was a slick operator. Just the right pitchman to sell the shit to idiot masses. Gotta give the devil his due.
As for the Orange Ascclown, I don't the prick will last out his first term. Not that it matters as far as what The Empire is gonna do.

natashav's picture

I don't think he's going to last either.

Mossad has got his head in a vice 

with videos of him raping and murdering a 12-year-old with Epstein,

a president destroying scandal with Obedrecht creeping on Trump,

all the while instructing Trump to threaten 5 nuclear powers with WWIII.

Trump is high in the clown car with nukes in the trunk.

Somebody needs to step in..

I think we all may be ok if the CIA decides to JFK his ass this time around..

For the first time ever, the CIA may just be saving the world.


American Snipper's picture

Maria has HUGE Tata's, did you see her low cut dress at some dinner? She was right behind the speakers mic

SixIsNinE's picture

least presidential?
you gotta be kidding me!!!

GHWB ! Slick Willie! GW Shrubbery!!! Oslammo!

Give Me Trumptard or Give me Death!!!

SixIsNinE's picture

she was having quite the time of it @ the Jesuit Dinner taking her White Gloves on and off to daintily take some iphone pics...

must admit she was looking quite nice old skool Maria style!

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Actually it's amazing it held together for so long.

But I digress.

shimmy's picture

Whoa, it seems the great pumpkin shot his pumpkin sauce and the real fly's mouth may indeed be leaving his dick. 

Nobodys Home's picture

You and your inbred multiple personality trolls really contribute nothing good. Everyone either feels sorry for you or laughs at your stupidity.

SixIsNinE's picture

just call him Shimmy the Trolltard and be done with it

shoo shoo Shimmy the Trolltard!

The_Real_Fly's picture

I don't even know how to respond to such idiotic gibberish. Fuck off.

Raging Debate's picture

Fly, a reminder. Don't feed the trolls. 

Shemp 4 Victory's picture


I don't even know how to respond to such idiotic gibberish.

His ward nurses do - haloperidol injections.

RagaMuffin's picture

There's got to be something in the water in New York, DT = HRC with a comb over.....

Consuelo's picture





For a 'vermin', you are quite charitable towards Weiner.  

Boris Gudonov's picture

Man, whoever the libtard was who wrote this, they need to take a smelling salt or something.  Where were you when Obama was bombing countries right and left without so much as a by your leave to Congress?  Libya?  Drone strikes 24/7? 

The_Real_Fly's picture

Where was I? I was writing about that fucking retard too. Is it a horrible thing to not want my nation in a constant state of war? Enough is enough.

Consuelo's picture



Why does a comparison need to be made of Obama - or anyone else?   Do Trump's actions not stand on their own?  

knukles's picture

The only remaining quesiton before the house is if Curious George sticks a finger up his bung when masturbating.

SixIsNinE's picture

Knuks - now now, that kind of comment should only be made after midnight.

family Hour @ Fight Club - the kiddies and snowflakes may be watching....

Eyebleach please!

knukles's picture

Goddamned lucky Xi didn't swing around and poke Donald in the eye with his chop-sticks
Woulda been an act of war!

old naughty's picture

there were no chopsticks...

just handlers (oops, i mean translators).

What had Assange just said?  HUmmmmmm.