Body of Executed Terrorist Mysteriously Goes Missing

TDB's picture

Via the Daily Bell

ROME- Inciting riots, making terrorist threats, destruction of property, treason, and impersonating a King are just some of the charges this man faced last week.

When the regional authorities of the Sanhedrin finally had enough of his sedition, agents of Rome moved to arrest the terrorist who has been in the news constantly over the past few years.

Last week the target was located on a tip from follower turned informant Judas Iscariot. Judas became disillusioned with the lies and tricks Jesus pulled and decided to turn Jesus in for the reward for information leading to his arrest.

According to a source within the Roman military ranks, cult members were illegally camped with their leader and became violent as Roman authorities approached. One soldier was attacked by a follower and had his ear severed.

But Jesus of Nazareth was captured, and given a fair trial for his crimes. Prefect Pontius Pilate seemed hesitant to rule Jesus guilty of plotting against the Roman Empire, but acquiesced that he was guilty of other charges brought by regional Jewish leadership.

Jesus was sentenced to death by crucifixion, which was carried out last Friday, along with the executions of two thieves.

“I don’t believe everything Jesus said,” a man who met Jesus but wished to remain anonymous told us, “But he definitely had a unique perspective. I just don’t think he deserved to die though. I mean he may have been a little crazy but that doesn’t mean they should crucify the guy. He seemed pretty peaceful to me.”

Yet Jesus regularly dined with sinners and generally associated with the lowest members of society. Especially concerning was his relationship with a prostitute named Mary Magdalene. The two were often seen together but never married. Jesus even once stopped an adulteress from being stoned to death–the proper punishment according to regional law.

And of course, Jesus incited the now infamous riot at a temple, destroying property and attempting to start an uprising when he toppled the tables and scales of merchants and traders in a violent rage. So it is unclear how the public might still view the clearly unstable man as “peaceful.”

And indeed, the majority of Palestinians feel Jesus was properly punished for breaking the law.

“That wouldn’t have happened to him if he had just followed the law,” one man said, who also wished to remain anonymous, fearing reprisal from Jesus’s cult. “It’s pretty simple, don’t break the law and you won’t be arrested and crucified. I have no sympathy for him. He knew what he was doing was wrong.”

And indeed Jesus not only took himself down this path of dereliction but influenced his followers to abandon their wives and properties in order to live a nomadic lifestyle of partying. One victim of Jesus’s con was a respectable tax collector who was brainwashed into abandoning his comfortable occupation to camp in the wilderness and travel from town to town.

The world is better to be rid of this con man who managed to convince crowds that he could conjure up fish and bread, and turn water into wine. He preyed on the weak and infirm, tricking the blind and crippled into traveling untold distances to seek cures for their ailments.

Though reports flurry of those whom Jesus healed, we were unable to locate any actual recipients of Jesus’s supposedly miraculous healing.

But it seems that even though the world is rid of this dangerous criminal, his cult seeks to perpetuate the image of Jesus as divine. His body was entombed and sealed with a two-ton boulder. But just this morning reports surfaced that Jesus’s body went missing.

What Happened to the Body of Jesus?

Jesus was entombed just miles from where his sentence was carried out.

Some speculate that Jewish authorities stole the body of Jesus who they condemned for claiming to be the King of all Jews. The idea is that they would desecrate his body, refusing to give him a proper burial due to his blasphemy.

But when you think about it, this theory does not hold much water. Jewish leaders would know they would risk turning Jesus into a martyr by stealing his body. They already got what they wanted, punishment for a troublesome terrorist. So why overextend themselves?

A more likely scenario is that close followers of Jesus’s cult stole the body in an attempt to perpetuate the myth that he is the Jewish “messiah”.

Sources close to Jesus’s “disciples” (as cult member call themselves) say that the disciples thought they could bring Jesus back from the dead.

Mary Magdalene followed Roman soldiers as they interred the body, and could have related this location back to his followers.

Still unclear is how they would have removed the enormous rock blocking the entrance to the grave, especially without being detected by Roman soldiers posted nearby.

Authorities are investigating and will prosecute the perpetrators when found. Robbing graves is illegal, even if the victim is a known con-man and convicted terrorist, and carries hefty punishment.

But the crowds that typically surrounded Jesus have evaporated since his conviction. People seem to realize that a man as supposedly powerful as Jesus would have been able to save himself from death if he really was the magical God he claimed to be.

What is certain is that Jesus is still dangerous after death, through the followers of his cult. Judas Iscariot was found hanged from a tree in what authorities believe may have been a lynching by Jesus’s disciples in retribution for his part in the apprehension.

It is advisable to stay far away from any followers of Jesus, as their violence seems to have only increased since his death. In desperation, they are especially dangerous to come into contact with.

Anyone with information on their whereabouts should contact local Roman authorities. If you have any knowledge of cult members’ involvement in the robbing of Jesus’s grave or the death of Judas Iscariot, please do not hesitate to contact authorities, as disciples pose an imminent danger to the public.

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Posa's picture

PBS recently ran an inquiryinto what is in effect

“Last Days of Jesus” gives a new theory on the politics of the Crucifixion

It actually knots together loose ends in the gospels... basically it describes a power play in which Jesus, Herod, and Pilate are in league with Tiberius' second in command, one Sejanus. The losers are the High Priests. When Tiberius turns on Sejanus, the whole conspiracu falls apart and the High Priests are looking for revenge on Jesus. They blackmail Pilate to achieve their ends... There might be something to this.

LoveTruth's picture

Christianity is based on Love. A religion that is not based on love is not a true one. Everything that Jesus Christ taught us is Divine, but today people need more Divine knowledge. The continuation of the Christ teachings is given by the spiritual master Peter Dunov. (Some of the info about him on wikipedia is incorect, do not take the opinion of some about the master Peter Dunov/Beinsa Douno/ at full face value.)


Butchard's picture

What a stupid comment. If you're a Christian, you should realize it doesn't matter who killed Jesus. It was a necessity for the salvation of the world. BTW, I think this is about the stupidest and most ridiculous aretice I've ever read. Its nothing but populist revisionist history.

barysenter's picture


The irony I appreciate is that its a jewish sin to murder a jew, which is what this is all about. All versions of their own God given Law convict them.

LoveTruth's picture

Jesus had to suffer, but killing Him was not necessary. Killing him was due to the Jewish elders who saw Jesus as a threat to their rule. 

(Today everyone who becomes a US president initially wants peace, but is viewed as a threat to the rule of the deep state warmongers, and they employ all of their powers to "rectify" the peace lover till he starts believing in wars.)

Bear's picture

MHGA ... Make Humanity Great Again

any_mouse's picture

No chance that the TPTB at the time removed the body to prevent the site from becoming a shrine for the Judean Peoples Front's opposition to the Pharisees and the Romans?

The "body" of Osama bin Laden was dumped at sea to prevent a shrine for the Jihad.

Humanity, same as it ever was.

Mufasa Dali's picture

This headline from New Jerusalem Times is just another example of their penchant for 'Fake News'. When are these corporate Sadducees going to get on the right side of history?

bobdobolina's picture

Mysteriously, or on purpose? I don't believe in coincidences

flea's picture

Thanks to TBD and Tyler. Happy Easter ... He is Risen!

Orly's picture

All the blather of history having been said, Blessed Easter to all.

Christianity is by a mile the greatest achievement in the human endeavour that continues to show the light and the way toward justice, righteousness and brotherhood for all people.

Of all the world religions, it is the only one with the basic tenet to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Not if he ain't a jew, I can stand him in the back, or if he isn't muslim, then he is an infidel.

It is a truly great belief system as it is practiced in the west, particulary the United States.  Thing is, it didn't have anything to do with a guy named Jesus.



Kat Daddy's picture

Christianity is unique among the religions of the world in that it is not legalistic, requiring no more that believing that Jesus is Lord and Savior. It requires no rites, no special prayer, no particular demands.  The Grace of God absolves all sin.  Most of all, Christianity is God reaching out to Man, where all other religions are man reaching out to God.  Even a wretch like Jeffery Dahmer, who was guilty of unspeakable crimes, would have entered heaven if he truly believed, as he claimed, before he was beaten to death in prison.  Gods law is clearly much different than man's earthly law, because only God can know the pure conviction in a persons heart.  Happy Easter and God save America.

risk.averse's picture

Happy Easter and God save America.

w/o a doubt: best thing I've read or heard all Easter. Well said, thanks.

To those elsewhere here on ZH who decry organized religion as the worst thing ever invented, I have to say I see your point. Organized religion tends to seek power, and power corrupts. But without power, religion is at the mercy of the State's power. Organized religion can be a force for good, however -- as a countervailing force against the tyranny of the State. This is why one of the identifying hallmarks of tyranny is its inevitable conflict against religion as it seeks to destroy all possible opponents and dissenting voices.

One can see organized religion as a "necessary evil", if you will. Perhaps, as new paradigms of power, organization, communication take hold across the world the need for organizations to manage their respective flocks will diminish -- perhaps evolving to what the early Protestant churches sought: a freedom from central corrupt authority (e.g. Rome). It's a real dilemma: with the right people in charge religious authority can do much good, e.g. Pope John Paul II and his assistance in starting the crumbling of the Iron Curtain in Poland etc.

The American Founding Fathers saw the unifying need for religion when they wrote the Constitution. [of course, they also saw its dnagers, having fled religious-based persecution in Europe] The Christian ethos would bind the people and give them a single direction without confusion. Body and soul: the State saw to the "body" (the material needs of a community) whilst religion took care of the Soul. Reason for much of today's angst is that the Soul is neglected. The constant seeking of "happiness" is endless and often fruitless and self-destructive.

Christian message is not just in conflict with State power -- which it has proven resilient against over the years -- but it is now in conflict with materialism, with the need to consume to be happy. Hence, cause for much of the intolerance against Christianity creeping into popular culture lately.

The Christian message is positive and life-affirming. Don't be distracted by the crimes of people claiming to be doing "God's work"...they're selfish and weak. Focus on the nessage.


Conax's picture

The denizens of ZH include many mammon worshippers.

It is a financial site after all. It goes without saying.

Any Christian themed article will come under the same withering criticism, and may be better left off the menu around here.

This one has led to some blaspheming that is not helpful to either group, Christian or Mammonite. Fire away, secular humanists.

Knock yourselves out.

flea's picture

No Worries ... "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

East Indian's picture

Remember, he proclaimed the Year of Jubilee and ordered the rich to write off oppressive loans.

"Seek ye the kingdom of God and His justice" - these words have always inspired me. What is human concept of justice? What could be divine concept of justice? If men, who are here today but gone tomorrow, if these men have a lofty sense of justice, how loftier should be His justice? Can He ever condemn some of His children to servitude under others? Will he allow us to shrivel in spirit, to be bound to machines and money? Will mankind become like a hive of bees, where each bee knows its position instinctively and fulfills its role mechanically, never to pause once to think if that is how it was ordained to live or to worry about how other bees are shivering in cold?

The NWO is evil personfied. On this sacred day, swear to God we will not allow ourselves and our children and their children to be bound in financial slavery.  

wachtamrhein's picture

Christ has risen! Happy Easter to you all.

dogismycopilot's picture

Praise Jesus Christ.

Yes, I am serious. The dude was a hard hitting revolutionary who rose up against both the Jewish High Class Priests AND the Romans at the same time. 

Joebloinvestor's picture

I still appreciate Sam Kinnisons take on Easter.

One of the first things Jesus said," Those fucking nails hurt!"

Orly's picture

No, he said, "What are y'all looking at?  Get me down from here..."

Then he strolls home, after being out the weekend with the boys and Mary Magdalene is pacing the floor.  "So.  Where you been?"

Kennison was hilarious.


Colonel's picture

Excellent Easter article. That's exactly how they would spin it nowadays.

gdpetti's picture

Yeah, same BS wrapped in a flag of some sort, be it a coat of arms or political system beliefs..... Otherwise, those that prefer the truth know BS when they hear/see it... not that there wasn't a J.C.... the Redeemer, Forgiver, the Christed.... only not some wanderering preacher in the sticks.... all those names were given to the real dude of the day... not that Julius Caesar would care, as this always happens to history.. first burn the books after Mother Nature does her thing, and then you can reset the system any way you like/or can get away with.

BullionBlast's picture

   Thanks for this article. This topic is the backbone to Western Christianity that all Christians know by heart. Yet with just a few words you show how an article by the Mainstream Media can change the entire meaning and actually change the public's opinion. If the MSM can convincingly twist the facts about the death of Christ, then how easy it is to change the narrative of today's events.

   The attention span of most Americans is very short. The media (mostly TV) delivers in the form of sound bites. Just ask someone (who doesn't read ZH)  to tell you what news items were on last nights 6:00 news. They won't remember. 

   Even the liar Brian Williams is back in his old job. This type of article shows just how easy it is to control people.

chumbawamba's picture

Well, duh.  It just demonstrates that any set of facts can be spun into whatever narrative you want.

Check out the porn version of the New Testament.  Talk about holy shit.

I am Chumbawamba.

shimmy's picture

It's pretty much on target talking about his followers and how dangerous they are. I seem to recall every president and almsot every war monger in the U.S government claiming to be a christian.

If islam gets trashed because of the acts of supposed muslim terrorists then so should christianity because of the acts of supposed christian war mongers who go and drop bombs all over the world. You can't have it both ways.

Organized religion is the dumbest and most dangerous thing humanity ever invented.

Orly's picture

But what if some fragments of the Koran are older than Mohammad?

The same as the Dead Sea Scrolls, purportedly about the Gospels of Jesus, are dated years before the time of Christ.

Would those revelations rain on your parade?  At least make you think that someone isn't telling the truth?

Why won't the Israelis release the documents?  The answer should be obvious.

MortimerDuke's picture

When are you writing your gospel?  You've got it all figured out.  You've read the five books on amazon that confirm your bias, so hey, preach on oh wise one.  I hope your gospel includes the part where you explain why the Israelis were trying to protect Chistianity by not releasing the Dead Sea scrolls.  That ought to be a great tale.  Then I hope you follow it up with an argument grounded in modern science that shows our current dating techniques are accurate to within a few hours, as you clearly believe.  That will also make for interesting reading.  You're so wise, I sincerely hope that you can contribute to mankind by releasing the truth as soon as possible.  Every minute you spend on the Hedge is a minute you could be working on your magnum opus, and apologies for being a greedy, but that pisses me off.  Please get to work.  Mankind needs you now more than ever Orly!  

Orly's picture

They are not doing it to preserve Christianity.  They are doing it to save Judaism.

The truth is Moses tried to shove monotheism down everyone's throat because he wanted to keep the money the priests were making seliing stuffed cat mummies (most of which turned out to be fake, too!  Oh, the horror!).

He shut down the temples and the priests ran his ass out of town on a rail.

His son tried to talk sense into him, especially being that his older brother and possibly a twin named Smenkhare was already assassinated by the priests.  Instead of being grateful to his son for trying to save Egypt, Moses had him killed on the spot by having him run over by a chariot, while on his knees, in the middle of the Sinai desert.

The jews can't have the world know about all that, can they?

Also it leaves Islam in the lurch because Islam is a refelction of Judaism...and it has been such a money-making machine.  Jews and the temples and the money-making machines.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Last Man Standing's picture

What nonsense! It certainly shows that you pay no attention to what you read and have no understanding of what you read. The dead sea scrolls that are dated BEFORE the Gospels are from the OLD TESTAMENT. They say ignorance is bliss, you must be extremely happy. You are either ignorant or a liar, either way your posts should be ignored since they are meaningless.

Orly's picture

Wrong again.  Descriptions of the New Testament dated before the time of Christ.

Look it up, or ignore science.

I guess I rained on your parade, huh?

Never noticed that the "Old Testament" and the "New Testament" are the exact same stories but the name has changed?  How about some real name changes?

Check this out: King David = Pharoah Tuthmosis III

King Solomon = Pharoah Tuthmosis IV

Pharoah Amenhotep IV = Pharoah Akhenaten = Moses.

Pharoah Tutankhaten = Pharoah Tutankamen = Jesus

All of this means that there was no first century Jesus; not according to Jospehus or the Roman authorities at the time.  So instead of causing all the brou-haha for several days, disrupting the Temple, no one contemporaneously even heard of the guy.

'S'plain it to me, Lucy.

Ignorance is bliss, indeed.  Keep believing! Jesus will be here soon!


Joke Heros's picture

When I read the story of Elisha, first thing I thought was how oddly his miracles paralleled Jesus, bringing people back to life, creating food from scraps, etc.

I haven't gone down the rabbit hole of evidence equating Egyptian characters with biblical characters but I look forward to getting there at some point.

I knew a guy who beleived "Revelation" has already occurred and it wasn't universe bending but merely a localized geographical battle with little consequence to the globe (or is it flat earth), etc.

Orly's picture

Yes, Revelation was essentially about Caesar Nero, whose name morphs into 666 according to numerology.

When you join us down the rabbit hole of truth, remember that it was Dr. Sigmund Freud, of all people, who first put together that the historical Moses must have been Pharoah Akhenaten.

If that much is true, then it follows that most all of Hebrew history is actually Egyptian.  For instance, King David of the Old Testament was said to have ruled a land from Nubia (Ethiopia..) around to the west bank of the Euphrates River in modern Iraq.  King Solomon was wise to not start any wars after his succession.

Well, there are only two kings that fit that exact description in the entire history of the world and they are Pharoahs Tuthmosis III and Tuthmosis IV of Egypt.

Abram (later Abraham...) essentially sold his wife to Tuthmosis III (David...), who fathered a child with her and sent both the wife and the husband back to Palestine to rear the child to be a ruler over Israel.  How would that happen unless the child were of royal parentage?

As I say, it is the only thing that makes historical sense, yet that does nothing to take away from the main point of the story:

You can go the greedy and intolerant way and demand everyone worship your god (as the Hebrews and Muslims still do to this day, with outstanding results...), i.e., the Moses way, or you can be inclusive and loving to your neighbour the Jesus (Tutankhaten...) way.

It is still the same story, some 3300 years later.


skeelos's picture

This will most likely fall upon deaf ears, but here goes anyway.

History is not science. Science describes the way the universe operates. Science demands repeatable results through experiment.

Mix baking soda with vinegar and the result is sodium acetate, water, and carbon dioxide. The experiment can be repeated because someone else can get another sample of baking soda and vinegar and test the result. That's why chemistry is science.

Conversely, nobody can get another year 1963, or another President Kennedy, and repeat the scenario to find out who shot Kennedy. That's why history is not science.

When considering topics that use science, but are not themselves science, such as history or philosophy or archeology or origins, it is a common ploy to claim a preferred position is science. The reason is that in our culture science=truth, and since there can be only one truth, all other positions must be false.

That's exactly what you're attempting to do. You are attempting to elevate something as science when it is not science at all. You're merely parroting an opinion based on an interpretation of evidence that conforms to your worldview.

That's not science and it is not absolute truth. You are placing your faith in the words of man. I place my faith in the words of God.

Orly's picture

I understand.  If it is not reproducible, it is not science.


we have to also keep in mind that the condition of man has not changed perceptibly in 33,000 years.  I have never seen a man born of a virgin or someone's spirit climb into the sky or a burning bush or a parted sea or any of that silly stuff. I am sure you haven't either coz you would have posted it on YouTube.

So if nothing has changed then we must assume that the condition of the people in the Bible were no different than ours.  We have to go with what makes sense and not simply make up some mysticism at the base of a campfire to entertain the kids.

In lieu of "science," allow me to use the word "reason" instead.  What is truly reasonable?  What really makes sense?

skeelos's picture

We are at the mercy of those who we believe and who we put our faith into. I haven’t personally seen the events you describe, but neither have I seen the Oort cloud, or imaged the Horsehead nebula, and I’ve never stepped on the moon and there is a whole cottage industry built on whether anyone has ever walked on the moon.

I didn’t see Columbus sail the Atlantic Ocean, or Lincoln get shot, or see the Great Pyramid get built. For that matter, I’ve never seen Paris or Antarctica. So I’ll say again, we are at the mercy of those who we believe.

I do not agree the condition of man has not changed in 33,000 years. I think that again you are investing your faith in people who support your worldview. I think the condition of man changed dramatically when sin entered the world, and it changed dramatically again when the law was fulfilled by the sacrifice of the Son of Man.

“Reason” is a good word, but the problem is that it is still very subjective. To the followers of Marshall Applewhite, it was reasonable to commit mass suicide.

I think you fall into the same trap so many people fall into. That is, they first deny the existence of an absolute truth so that they can advocate their relative truth. Then, they attempt to impose their relative truth on others as an absolute.

Case in point, your use of the words “reason” and “reasonable”. Those words have no meaning unless there is an absolute truth to measure them by. There is only one absolute truth, and that is the Word of God.

Uchtdorf's picture

OK, I'll play along. What do you mean by: "Descriptions of the New Testament dated before the time of Christ." in your post above?

Orly's picture

The Dead Sea Scrolls of Qumran is a vast library of Biblical texts mostly pertaining to the Hebrew Bible, the Old Testament.  There are, however, bits and pieces of other texts, such as the Gospel of Judas (Iscariot, the Knife or Assassin...) and the Gospel of Thomas (The Twin...) that are not included in either the New Testament or the Old Testament.

Another fragment in the Book of Isaiah talks about the "Suffering Servant" of God whose life parallels that nearly identically with the life of Jesus. Problem is, it was written about 400 years proir to Jesus.

Not only that but the parallels to Egyptian religious belief are beyond striking. Lord Osiris was born on December 25th, for example.  The story of Horus, etc., is all quite similar in construct, too.

But the most compelling story is told by Ahmed Osman in his book Jesus in the House of the Pharoahs because the idea is clear and not obfuscated on purpose like the stories of the Bible.  Think about how many times you just want a straight answer but are thwarted with begets, begats and begottens. Instead, now the story is laid out as simply as can be.  And as Sherlock Holmes said, it therefore must be the truth.

If the story of Jesus is reproduced from ancient writings and events, that leaves only two possibilities:

1. The story of a first-century Messaiah in Jerusalem is completely made-up (as there is no contemporaneous historical accounting of these actions as one would expect...)

2. Or, the writings are essentially an extrapolation of previously well-known myths and legends brought into the first century by an actor playing out the part of Jesus; entering Jerusalem on the back of an ass, the enthralled populace are throwing palms at his feet, etc.

Keep in mind that the purported Jesus was an Essene rabbi, a Nazarene (meaning "splinter from the root." There was no town of Nazareth until 200 years after the first century and even then it was a hitching post and wine/olive-press...)  So, being an Essene, (the writers of the Dead Sea Scrolls...) and possibly a Zealot, as was his best friend and treasurer Judas, it is quite possible that with funding (see the mystery of who was Joseph of Aramithea...), twelve guys could actually re-enact Biblical prophecy in order to foment rebellion.

But the production went over like a lead zepellin and crashed.  What we would call nowadays a flop.

Either way, that makes the first-century Jesus a complete hoax or a failed fraudster; so failed, in fact, that his very prescence wasn't even recorded iin contemporary times.

I believe that the real story took place in the Sinai desert between Moses and his son Jesus (Pharoahs Akhenaten and Tutankhaten), in which Akhenaten wanted to clear the state of the old god system, much to the chagrin of the priests' pocketbooks, whilst Tutankhaten (Jesus) pleaded with him to accept multiple religions and allow the people to grow toward monotheism.

(Shock almighty!  Exactly as we have today!  Imagine that...)

If you don't believe this, then read Exodus, where it clearly says on more than one occasion, that Moses was seen talking to Jesus and, in fact, they received the tablets together on Mount Sinai.

Not only that but re-read Jesus' speech The Sermon on the Mount in light of King Tut pleading with his dad to not be such a hard-ass about religion in Egypt; come back as co-regent (a very common practice amongst Pharoahs...) and build the church together.

I guess we can figure out the rest of the story from here. It also explains why the Ramosean Pharoahs plundered the entire Valley of the Kings, except for one tomb...

All this will change your mind in some way, I have no doubt.


I apologise for being long-winded and now you know why my previous responses were rather curt.

Uchtdorf's picture

I see. I'm sure you're quite sincere in your beliefs and discoveries so I'll only comment that the reason Moses was seen speaking with Jesus is because he was speaking with Jesus, who was known as Jehovah in those days. that's why when Jesus called himself I Am in the New Testament the Jews were so angry with him.

Orly's picture

What absolute rubbish. I could tear this article into fourteen million pieces but I won't waste my time.

Except to say, read some history, how 'bout it?

Jeesch.  Just awful tripe.


Orly's picture

Start here:

And then get back to me with your given ideas about what really happened.

If you are truly interested in Biblical archaeology, you will not be disappointed with any of these books.  Keep in mind, everything you've been told is horseshit.


chumbawamba's picture

Jesus Christ, you wouldn't know satire if it punched you in the cunt.

I am Chumbawamba.

Orly's picture

Or don't let good old "science" get in the way of a well-constructed, if totally implausible fable.