The Tragedy This Weekend At The "Coachella For The Super Rich"

Trader Scott's picture

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There is a sad story today at Bloomberg about the "tragedy" (yes tragedy according to the writer) which befell a group of "moneyed millenials" (SJWs) over the weekend. When young SJWs are not pampered, and coddled, and treated like royalty, the rest of us should feel nothing but sorrow for their plight. Because they live such demanding, high-pressure, work-intensive lives. Protesting, rioting, and shouting over the speeches and appearances by conservative speakers, is an exhausting life for these youngsters - so they need time to kickback and chillax. This past weekend was supposed to provide this and be a fun-filled experience, but it was a "disaster" instead. Here's what happened at this "nightmare":
The same young "moneyed millennials" who have been lecturing and berating the rest of us about our "CO2-intensive lifestyles", decided it was perfectly fine for them to fly to the Bahamas for the weekend: "Fyre Festival chartered planes from Swift Air to fly from Miami to Great Exuma Island." It was billed as a "Coachella for the super rich". And ticket holders thought it would be a: "weekend in paradise, but it  turned into a nightmare when a super exclusive music festival in the Bahamas became a disorganized mess, stranding attendees who in some cases paid tens of thousands of dollars. Hyped by glossy ads featuring such supermodels as Kendall Jenner and Emily Ratajkowski, the Fyre Festival promised the culture experience of the decade in a tropical wonderland of yachts, villas, and gourmet cuisine. Ticket prices went into five figures for special VIP treatment, though general admission packages were available starting at $1,200." But it was not anything like what they had dreamed it would be. Their luxury accommodations were disaster relief tents. And their gourmet cuisine did not even take into consideration animal welfare, nor the environment: "For dinner, they were served bread, cold cuts, cheese slices, and a side salad in a styrofoam box." The event was put together by two "moneyed millenials",  Ja Rule and Billy McFarland, but things went a bit awry: "The event was organized by rapper Ja Rule and entrepreneur Billy McFarland, who is also the founder and chief executive officer of Magnises, a social club for “elite” millenials. According to a report by Business Insider, some members of that enterprise claimed last-minute trip cancellations, scheduling failures, and unwanted charges on their cards. McFarland didn’t immediately return a call and text seeking comment."
The two geniuses who organized the event were even reprimanded by the Bahamian government: "The event’s implosion was so calamitous it prompted a Bahamian government agency to issue a statement on the matter. 'We are extremely disappointed in the way the events unfolded yesterday with the Fyre Festival. We offer a heartfelt apology to all who traveled to our country for this event,' the Ministry of Tourism said Friday." 
But after the "calamity" which befell the moneyed millenials over the weekend, they decided they wanted their money back: "According to Dylan Caccamesi, who paid about $1,200 to attend, organizers asked those seeking refunds to write their names, email addresses, and phone numbers on pieces of computer paper. He signed the paper in the hope that it would help guarantee a refund. 'I’m not sure what the intent was,' the 22-year-old from New Jersey said in a phone interview from the Bahamas. 'We still have to get a hold of them.' Caccamesi said an email was also sent by the festival promising a refund, citing unforeseen circumstances, but detailed information has yet to be provided." As to be expected of course, and what else is new, the "moneyed lawyers" had to butt in on the "tragic" circumstances: "It sounds like a clear breach of contract case, said Randall Kessler, an attorney in Georgia. 'They didn’t deliver what they promised.” Maybe there's a case here for Gloria Allred, as there certainly must have been some sexism involved in this "tragedy" also. 
And "like" is apparently still in, as young Dylan summed it up for us: “I haven’t been on a vacation in a while. I was like, ‘I’ll be living luxurious.’ It was supposed to be good for, like, high-class youth. A higher-expectations festival.” Well obviously young Dylan did not "like" what happened, but as any youngster knows, there's always alcohol to make it all better: "We have no idea what’s going on. We’re just sitting on the beach getting wasted.”

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Berspankme's picture

I am pretty out of touch. What is a jaroule?

Berspankme's picture

Did they all die? One can hope

Bill of Rights's picture

I'm trying to figure out if IF truly give a flying fuck...Ok I'm done...I don't.

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

they should have learned from Al manmade hotter gore,, the bahama islands have been flooded by raising seas years ago, from the melting artic.,.they not there and do not post pics disproving this, cause, well,  save the polar bear..

northern vigor's picture

Yeahhh...Take the money away from those kids before they hurt themselves with it.

gespiri's picture

1) Kendall Jenner WAS NEVER A SUPERMODEL. I'm waiting for her sex video, just like her sis.

2) More idiot youths will be back next year, paying higher rates,  just to get a place in the sun

3) Sadly, the parents of these idiots will be bigger idiots by not teaching them the finer things about life, money, love, etc.

Take care of your money and your money will take care of you.

zstard's picture

Super model, celebrity, Femail personality...meh

Bendromeda Strain's picture

Absolutely no refunds. They promised the "culture experience of the decade" and they delivered.

Non-Corporate Entity's picture

Kids these days...

We used to chip in for a keg and play our own music.

True Blue's picture

"The Producers" 'nuff said.

aloha_snakbar's picture

The only way this story gets funnier is we send the Clinton Foundation to "help"...

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture

Sad part is that these will be the executives of tomorrow.

August's picture

Great link... especially the promotional video.

The best idea, they said, would be to roll everyone’s tickets over to 2018 and start planning for the next year immediately. They had a meeting with the Fyre execs to deliver the news. A guy from the marketing team said, “Let’s just do it and be legends, man.”

Xena fobe's picture

Refund? Can't they just tell the credit card to cancel the charge?

Duc888's picture



I never stop laughing at these glo-bull warming assholes.  If they were in fact fucking worried about it they would have manned up and rented a few nice 50-60 foot sail boats and cruised down to the islands...


wind power bitchez.  Green

Mr.Danglemeat's picture

Me? I stayed home, put on some Ja Rule (same track played 15 times over makes an album..right?) burned $7 worth of swag and slept like a baby.

bankerssuck's picture

Hey ya'all,

Please, just sit on the beach and alcohol and drug induce yourselves to death, enjoy.



gmak's picture

Come the zombie apocalypse, looks like we can get the rich to an island quite easily. Then we can eat them.

deimos178's picture

It would take a heart of stone to not laugh at that.

max_leering's picture

I'd have fed them bologna, bread and lettuce... then made 'em listen to some of dat what-the-fuck-ever music... after they'd paid, of course... niggahs gotta make bank... niggahs gotta get some new wings

bamawatson's picture

hilarious tweet from twerp who said "my phone battery is dying; send help; i am in tent 27"

Blano's picture

My favorite one was "does anyone here know how to make weapons?"


doomchild's picture

This lengthy article is about the bunch of faggots duped by Ja Rule ? Didn't read it. Nobody gives a shit about the rich faggots in question. Just came down to the comments sections to say fuck the rich SJW millenial faggots who got duped by Ja Rule. Fuck em. May they lose everything their rich parents handed to them in such social justice scams. 

OurUnitedStates's picture

Mabye Madonna can be convinced to do a "Save the Fyre Festival" benefit concert to ameliorate those millenial pantywastes.

lakecity55's picture

A bit O/T, but relevant in the Rip-Off Department.

I flew to Phoenix today. American Airlines. The bastards knew I boarded my first flight. The first flight was delayed. They dumped me at the far end of the airport terminal from the Phoenix flight, then SOLD MY SEAT which had been paid for a month ago! There was still 10 minutes to board!

So, here I was, over 60, out of breath, sweat pouring off my head onto the departure desk. "Step back, sir,"said the agent.

"Hell, no! I paid for this seat. You will put me on this flight." Androids and iPhones came out. I may be on u-boob by tonight.

So, they got me on the plane. The worthless American Airlines bastards had sold me out 15 minutes before the plane left!

Flying is a total pain in the Ass. Fuck AA, Fuck United, Fuck the TSA: I have not forgotten you bitches, either!

However, I have no sympathy for rich bitches who got ripped off for a Fake Concert! It's the Working Man here who is getting the Shaft by American Airlines!

---LC, presently in Phoenix. We'll see how this adventure goes, mofos.

Bubba Rum Das's picture

"---LC, presently in Phoenix. We'll see how this adventure goes, mofos."

Goodluck, Homie!
Last time I drove by the AZ State Capitol building down on Washington St. in Phoenix, there were 'minority' characters slingin' crack on the corners across the street from the Capitol building, & homeless folks trudging along w/ shopping carts piled double high w/ their belongings down West Van Buren; (main cross street where the capitol building is located on Washington St.); Van Buren, which is now populated w/ vacant lot's everywhere, where torn down Hi-Rise buildings once existed!

Welcome to Phoenix!

lakecity55's picture

It's been 15 years since I was last here. More smoking nazis! I spent a year here beteen Tucson and Tempe working for ADOT, before 9/11 and before I went back to the DoD nd DoS. Back then I bought the narrative, though I should have been more suspicious of the PTB's motives.

Still, it's great to be back in the big valley. The airlines still suck, though, and the PTB are gonna do what they do.

AZ has McPain, back home, we have Miss Linsey....ya can't win!

44_shooter's picture

Quit your bitching and welcome to Phoenix. Since it's painfully obvious you DON'T fly American, it's your own god damn fault. Let me guess - you're a carry on luggage moron too?

lakecity55's picture

I always try to fly Dubai or Emirates. This time I wa stuck on a domestic carrier.

I'm usually overseas at my Enfield shop in Bangalore, making carry-on luggage for bikes.

Knob Creek's picture

Fuck those TSA assholes. Last time I flew I refused to go through the full body scanner. They sent me to a side area for pat down. The guy asked me if I'd been through the enhanced pat down before? I said "Only by my wife". Dude gave me about a two second pat down and sent me on my way. Fucking assholes.

lakecity55's picture

Those mm wave machines are in my professional opinion dangerous. Having done the work I do for years, plus being an ex po-lice, I ask for the pat down. I don't think those machines are safe, and I really don't think the operators are shielded enough. TSA or not,they don't deserve beng bombarded and cooked by microwave in that booth.

Bear's picture

I hope your wife's lasted longer.

Knob Creek's picture

I teed that one up didn't I................


Rzero0's picture

Should've billed as a refugee experience,  promise awesome s!#/, then give only the s!#/ part. ... poor rich kids need help,... they got themselves stranded chasing promises of shangrila by ja-rule...

Instead got a modern day interpretation of Lord of the Flys! 

The fat went first.... (is that weight enhanced or???)


frrrl's picture

Those people through a lot of weight

nmewn's picture

It really was funny as hell, seen it coming a mile away...Ja

You see "Ja Rule"...the time to ship all the shit there was last month and have it ALL set up at the outside a week in advance so that the final week BEFORE your well heeled, VIP, Millennial snowflakes arrive is spent taking care of any kinks that may surface. 

But no.

They arrived to find stacks of lumber, Port-A-Potties ready to be placed and fork lifts. As an added bonus to my smug snickering about all this, some of the VIP snowflakes who are used to a Pizza Hut on every corner said "Like whoa dood, like...fuck this!" and headed back to the airport. Naturally the commercial aircraft flying in & out are not just waiting around for the snowflake inconvenienced, so they were stuck in the airport...and the air conditioning stopped working...and no/enough food at this small airport. Then, to keep the hordes of other inconvenienced snowflakes out...the Bahamian officials chained the door shut...(lol)...locking the first arriving inconvenienced snowflakes in...for the night.

No confirmed word yet on if there was Faaarrreee! Bahamian WiFi there but must have been or Antifa would have showed up ;-)

nmewn's picture


Robert Trip's picture

Refund is in the mail!

peippe's picture

where do I send my $5?

max_leering's picture

p.o. box 666, anytown usa

3.7.77's picture

Tragedy, the horrors.

45North1's picture

Crowd source funding for the victims dupes?


U4 eee aaa's picture

And the defendant's lawyer is arguing that the clients were provided a first class education

SgtShaftoe's picture

The elite scum won't last 10 minutes if WWIII kicks off.

hxc's picture

These aren't the elites. They are merely moneyed hipsters.