Journalists Drink Too Much, Are Dumber Than Average, Study Finds

Tyler Durden's picture

A recent scientific study just proved something that viewers of CNN have probably suspected for years: Journalists' brains function at a lower level than the rest of the population. 

A study conducted by neuroscientist Tara Swift and the London Press Club determined that "the highest functions of journalists brains were operating at a lower level than the average population, due to dehydration, self-medicating, and fueling their brains with caffeine and high-sugar foods"

"However, the pressures of the job are not affecting journalists ability to endure and bounce back from adversity in the long term, due to a belief that their work has meaning," according to a press release from the London Press Club.

Journalists' brains show a lower level of executive function - that is, the ability of the brain to regulate emotions, suppress biases, switch between tasks, solve complex problems and think flexibly and creatively -  than the average person because to their heavy drinking, and caffeine consumption. They also eat too many high-sugar foods, and don't devote enough time to mindfulness.  

Dr Swart recruited 31 journalists from across the industry to participate in the study. Participants were required to record their eating and drinking habits, answer a brain profile questionaire, take blood tests, and wear heart-rate variability monitors. 

The study was initially launched to examine how journalists manage to "survive and thrive" while managing such high levels of occupational stress. "Journalism," the press release notes, "is one of many industries under an increasing amount of pressure in the digital age. Low pay, frequent deadlines, and high levels of accountability all contribute to high reported stress levels."

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Vuke's picture

Sorry for the loss but thak goodness he's gone.

PersonalResponsibility's picture

"due to dehydration, self-medicating, and fueling their brains with caffeine and high-sugar foods""

The real reason? Low IQ.


Blythes Master's picture

Hey numb nutz.....we don't do that infantile FIRST BITZES bullshit here.

You wanna be in romper room, go to turd fergusen site where your moronic ass clown posse thrives!

mary mary's picture

I found both those things out in college.  Journalists also tend to be lazy and narcissistic.

And newspaper owners believe they are Gods.

Juggernaut x2's picture

and jewish, and gay, or both.

Cloud9.5's picture

Script readers 

HopefulCynic's picture

They have to drink in order to live with themselves and all the lies and destruction those lies cause. 

Mat Cauthon's picture

One doesn't need much brain activity to read a teleprompter.

sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

"...high levels of accountability..."

Ummm.....lying is certainly stressful. Accountable to Soros? Bezos?

WinstonSmith1984's picture

Explains a lot about what I read here. You guys probably work too many hours.

RawPawg's picture

Give Us Dirty Laundry

everybody sing along....

zhandax's picture

As recently as 2014 YouTube still had the video of Dennis Miller introducing Don Henley singing "Dirty Laundry" live at clinton's first inauguration in 1993. No sign of it now, though.

Cassandra.Hermes's picture

yeah they are ! but what about Trump voters! education level of Trump's voters was 23% lower than the Clinton's... oh well ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

espirit's picture

She's a guy wishing to be a girl but with a dick yet to be removed to make him a girl.

Ladyboi now, and will forever be anally fucked thus never satisfied to have his clit licked.

Am I close, Tony?

Juggernaut x2's picture

Level of education attained has been proven not to equal practical intelligence.

nmewn's picture

There are quite a few deeply in debt, heavily degree'd snowflake waiters & waitresses being bossed around by high school drop out managers driving muscle cars these days aren't there? ;-)

Cassandra.Hermes's picture

if it was true you would feel sorry for them, but you hate them, so most probably your manager is college educated who, you presume, doesn't know how to change a light bulb. I have seen it so many times and the problem is: you don't know what you don't know 

nmewn's picture

Why would I have to "feel sorry" or "hate" either of them? Would that involve some sort of implied empathy or sympathy on my part or a lack thereof? There is a distinct difference you doesn't involve some sort of sociopathy, it can be something as simple as complete indifference. They made their decisions on their own. One chose to waste four years of their life on a non-marketable major and go into debt while doing it. The other chose to go to work four years earlier, gain assets and be in a position to hire the other. 

Your attempt at projecting onto me, what you think you know about me, only shows what you do not know about me. You should have been taught that in college and its no surprise to me you weren't. 

Singelguy's picture

Especially if you have a major in basket weaving.

south40_dreams's picture

...and CNN still has Hillary up 2 in Pennsylvania

bloofer's picture

If true, a clear indication intelligence and critical thinking abilities are inversely proportional to the number of years spent in "educational" institutions.

mqg25's picture

Did that 23% omit the stat they gave a 60% affirmative action bonus IQ for the inner city Democrats?

City_Of_Champyinz's picture

How many liberal schmucks out there 'graduated' with useless degrees in puppeteering or something equally useless ending in 'studies'?  You consider these fools to be educated?  Too funny.

Kefeer's picture

The fact that they would participate in such a ludicrous study proves the point.

San Pedro's picture

Vast majority are talking head script readers. We haven't had real journalism ever since the Liberal Media covered for Bill Clinton and then refused to "investigate" the numerous victims of his sexual exploits..then let hillary run cross interference.

Chief Wonder Bread's picture

Do not click above link^^^. Phishing.

silverer's picture

It's Google. They're always phishing.

wisehiney's picture

Yeah, I have met the type.

Just sit on a bar stool and pontificate and drink away.

Boringest mutha fuckas you EVER saw.

What a waste of good liquor.

Schmuck Raker's picture

RPGs, Jack Daniels, Helicopters: deadly combination. I know, right?

sheikurbootie's picture

I just call it being retarded, it's a permanent condition. 

Vageling's picture

This implies they think at all. Puppets. Those talking heads are dolls. They march as told. Very few journalist out there and a handfull of investigative journalist. The rest are paid actors. Keep buying their nonsense, suckas!

bigkahuna's picture

"high levels of accountability" and "journalism"

WTF - is this comedy?

MPJones's picture

Journalists are basically people who failed in their field, as entrepreneurs, scientists, economists, authors, actors, mucisians or whatever they initially thought they had a talent to succeed in. So, the overriding descriptor for journalists is failure. This explains their arrogance, distance from reality, inability to accept rational logic and excuses for ignorance.

That said, a minority encompasing investigative and thorough reporters as well as scientists communicating to a wider public are doing excellent and valuably work. The 20/80 rule certainly applies to journalism.

BetterRalph's picture

Kind of like signing up to market-ticker
Subject?="I agree!"

williambanzai7's picture

There are people dumber than CNN journalists, CNN viewers.

Nobodys Home's picture

I knows I'm a fart smeller! I'm all up on the WB7 and shit and stuff!

pparalegal's picture

There is only two reasons people get into journalism. (1) To tell other people what to think and get (2) a free pass from associates for their own corruption and perverted activities.

sagramore's picture

One of my girlfriend was the campus paper editor and used to sell the promo CDs for beer money (pre-napster naturally).

sagramore's picture

If the London press corps is like Ottawa's it's Red Bull, liquor and coke that keeps the gods of the copybook headings going. Far too much coke actually, why I don't hang around with them anymore.

pichulonco's picture

I studied biology at the national university of Chile. Hard assed French style science/tecnical education where at least half of freshmen are eliminated by design at the end of the first year. You would praise the Lord for getting the equivalent of  D- , getting a C was for nerds and nobody got an A except genius, nobody got a 100%, because that  is reserved for God.  Anyways the the 40% that graduated in the science, engeneering and math fields were pretty sharp people thanks to a brutal elimation process. 


Anyways, there was a mandatory philosophy class that was required for all freshmen students at the university. Because of optimal scheduling and location, me and a few of my biology classmates took a philosophy class that usually only journalist students took, but which was still valid for the credit. 

I have never been with such a group of  fucking retards in my entire life, the teacher was also a journalist. She was a fuking retarded cunt. If we repeated verbatim the BS lightweight philosophy she taught in the class we got an A+, if we actually tried to think and figure shit out, we got an F. The first few tests all of us biologists got Ds or Fs, and all these fucking bimbo bittch journalists got A s . After the initial shock and inevitable disgust, we just learned that istead of going to class or even getting a good notebook, you could go to the TAs class on the saturday before the test, where you would get all the questions and answers for the next test, and just memorize it and regurgitate it in test, unfucking beliable.

I learned first hand that journalist students are the most retarded people at university and are being trained to be even more retarded than they are by nature.  Also that most all journalists are fucking dumb as fuck. My brother is a journalist, he's the dullest in the whole family, sorry bro.


PD: My spelling sucks, fuck you

yellowlight4570's picture

My neice got a degree in communications (print/magazine) from Syracuse U. She said the TV majors, both sexes were run in or out strictly on how they looked. 

It didn't matter if you were smart or dumber than the bag the box of rocks came in if the camera didn't like you you weren't going anywhere in TV.

That pretty much explaines what we see today and why it's called the boob tube.

Carpe Tutti Bastardi's picture

"That pretty much explaines what we see today and why it's called the boob tube."

I realize that it is several hours after that observation was posted but I had to get

this out there...

if only for a laugh in these too tense days!!!

In actuality the origin of the TV being referred to as the "boob tube" was deemed

to have been the result of the first "sidekick" as part of the then new late night talk

show format. Few people recall that the first sidekick was Dagmar, a beautiful blonde

woman with huge breasts.

Dagmar had a small part on " The  Tonight Show"-- all she had to do was look

stupid on camera. She didn't even talk. For the first two or three months Dagmar

sat on a stool right in front of the band with an off-the-shoulder dress and an

enormous overhang that influenced the TV term "boob tube". She was a stereo-

typical dumb blonde. A large sign under the stool read 'Girl Singer', but she never

opened her mouth nor ever sang.

Credits to: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

northern vigor's picture

I have three kids that went through either biology, or into medical fields. They all said basically the same thing as you just did.

pichulonco's picture

Sorry to say, but Medicine is a field where they just brainwash the brightest kids with trauma-based education and stroke their ego so they will become the new priest class of  this techno-centric world. This way they train future doctors to be dehumanised assholes who think they know everthing. As a biologisst I am appaled by the level of real science training an MD has. They are little more than glorified pill-pushers. The only docs I have respect for are good surgeons, especially the ones in the trauma  / ER units. They know they are good mechanics and don´t pretend to be scientists.  The rest can go fuck themsleves, bunch of fucking serial killers (especially oncologists) in my opinion. Good thing about knowing more science than them is that I cannot be intimidated by thier BS pseudo-scientific scpheel they use to dominate the "common" folk. They put fear into people so they can control them, same as the priests do. They treat me real different when they realize I know more than them about biology and the actualy bio/chemical proceses that comes into play with whatever drug they are trying to push.


We actually know very little about how biological systems work, all of what we know is just scrating the surface as the systems are unbelivably complex. The biochemical pathways that most pharmaceutical drugs afffect are very general / coarse and do not only produce the desiered physiological effect, but affect other pathways and proceses, because it is like a big hammer.


That is why you get so many "side effects". Most pharmaceutical drugs should only be used in emergencies because they are so strong and they wreck havoc with long term use. All the promises of very specific treatments based on DNA, stem cells or whatever is mostly just marketing PR to scam people into treatments that are just a big empty promise. In my opinion the future of medicine is electro-medicine and informational medicine (similar to homeopathic principle but with a more solid scientific base).  Treatments will be more sublte, but more specific to the problem, without side effects. German "biological medicine" has some really good and efective products, the Russians have developed some really interesting electro-medicne devices, which are just the begining in my opinion check it out:  . And lets not forget plain ole medicinal plants, which work really good actually.


You can find most of all the same bio-active compounds in plants that you find in pharmaceuticals , but in plants they usually acompanied by a whole family of compunds that act together and seem to counteract side effects. Doses are much smaller and treatments longer term. Big pharma don´t want people to realize that nature's medince is better and smarter than their preparations. For example cannabis is a whole pharmacopeia of different medicinal and psycological effects, and depending on strain variety you can get opposite effects, for example: hunger supression in some African varieties with lots of THCV and hunger stimulation in other plants with high THC low THCV.   Treatment with psycodelic plants will blow ANY psycotropic drug out of the water and be MUCH more effective without so many terrible side effects. Did you know you can treat schizophrenia with tobacco? There are some really good studies on this done in the 50's.  Why do you think crazy people, jail birds, hookers and soldiers chain smoke? Nicotine has a neuroprotective effect and can calm the strongest hallucinations and anxiety. Its what shammans use here in S. America to bring people down to earth when they are gettig too nutty in an ayahuasca trip for example, a good dose of nasally ingested tobacco rapé powder and violá, instant calm-the-fuck-down from even the strongest trippin' . 



The hallmark of a real scientist is that they will admidt how little they know.


land_of_the_few's picture

Hey awesome tale and yes, for sure. It is so! Your spelling is easily good enough and superb for a second language, same with your choice of words.

I have a little one for you:

A welding course. With some highly technical subjects tacked on classroom-style. And some subjects rather on the Liberal Arts side - these parts were largely ignored by most of the class for obvious reasons.

The hilarity comes in the *communications skills* class. Lady turns up and from her surname and demeanor you could tell she could possibly be a little Nationalist or possibly something else beginning with Na-*.

She then proceeds to rave on about Galen's 4 humours, disguised as modern smiley-job-recruitment-philosophy. All personalities apparently strictly determined by that old fraud. Diagrams and everything. Of course they change the name of it to try to fool people. Unfortunately for her, some of us have already heard about this stuff in relation to obsolete medical theory .....

Next, she proceeds to state quite calmly and matter of fact to the whole class as part of a lecture that people from my country are all emotionally unstable *and violently dangerous* because they have big noses. No, I am not Roman Arab or Jewish or anything exciting.

While I was gawping at that, me and my local classmate friend, same nationality as the lecturer, but with an absolutely heroic sized nose, and a friendly personality, glanced at each other in astonishment.

Meanwhile lady continues on in her no doubt lucrative career as a freelance *communications expert*....