Journalists Drink Too Much, Are Dumber Than Average, Study Finds

Tyler Durden's picture

A recent scientific study just proved something that viewers of CNN have probably suspected for years: Journalists' brains function at a lower level than the rest of the population. 

A study conducted by neuroscientist Tara Swift and the London Press Club determined that "the highest functions of journalists brains were operating at a lower level than the average population, due to dehydration, self-medicating, and fueling their brains with caffeine and high-sugar foods"

"However, the pressures of the job are not affecting journalists ability to endure and bounce back from adversity in the long term, due to a belief that their work has meaning," according to a press release from the London Press Club.

Journalists' brains show a lower level of executive function - that is, the ability of the brain to regulate emotions, suppress biases, switch between tasks, solve complex problems and think flexibly and creatively -  than the average person because to their heavy drinking, and caffeine consumption. They also eat too many high-sugar foods, and don't devote enough time to mindfulness.  

Dr Swart recruited 31 journalists from across the industry to participate in the study. Participants were required to record their eating and drinking habits, answer a brain profile questionaire, take blood tests, and wear heart-rate variability monitors. 

The study was initially launched to examine how journalists manage to "survive and thrive" while managing such high levels of occupational stress. "Journalism," the press release notes, "is one of many industries under an increasing amount of pressure in the digital age. Low pay, frequent deadlines, and high levels of accountability all contribute to high reported stress levels."

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TeethVillage88s's picture

Check the food, check the water, check group think from Management, check the influence of Authority figures in Owners, Mangers, Editors in the Press, MSM.

" Journalists' brains function at a lower level than the rest of the population. "

But don't neglect checking mind control techniques, Tavistock, Propaganda Tech.

MadHatt's picture

A study was done to figure this out?

 

Breaking news, new study conducted by me finds water to be wet.

koan's picture

WHy does the press release say Tara Swart and the article say Tara Swift?

Oh yeah journos are stupid...

Oath_Keeper's picture

Tara Swift is cuter. I guess?

land_of_the_few's picture

My local supermarket has frozen mushrooms cheerfully labelled as "Cuted Mushrooms". Yes apparently this means they "cute" them with a knife before packing them.

It's not on a sticker or anything, someone went to a lot of effort with PhotoShop to design the plastic packing :D

mkhs's picture

  Was it all red, white and blue flags? Product of China?

Tachyon5321's picture

Duh!!! Everyone already knows this.

Oath_Keeper's picture

I recently discovered the Sun. Soon to be published!

Bopper09's picture

'high levels of accountability'

Oh, it's a sarcastic article.  Made me laugh.

FoggyWorld's picture

There is a bizarre sort of accountability.  They MUST tow the company line and that really goes against human nature so they dumb themselves down in order to live with it and hold onto those jobs.  And booze and over medication help them slide down on the IQ scale.    

And yet like Hillary and Joe Biden, they end up believing they are important when they aren't.

oDumbo's picture

If nothing else, the title of the article encapsulates CNN in a nutshell.  

mary mary's picture

And MSNBC.  And even PBS.

idontcare's picture

I'm curious who's dumber - journalists or public school teachers?!

consider me gone's picture

You should hear my daughter's stories of her teachers. They're all whacked. The only one She likes is her conservative civics teacher. The rest are socialist hippie-wannanews control freaks who really don't know shit. 

mary mary's picture

No wonder.  Many teachers getting paid so little that they are on Welfare, even while teaching.  So they back Welfare/Warfare Witch Hillary Clinton, because people back the one who promises to give them money.  Of course, the reason teachers are getting paid so little is that TPTB don't want the Goyim/Satanists (non Judeocatholic Americans) to learn how to think.  They want them to learn how to fix their plumbing or mow their grass, and they want them to never ever question their local government's frauds and megagifts to TPTB.

northern vigor's picture

Those that can, do. And those that can't, teach...and those that can't teach become journalists.

mary mary's picture

Journalists.  Although, since MSM taught people to sue their School Boards because Johnny or Lashandra didn't get an A, fewer and fewer hard workers have geen going into teaching every year.  The result is the "failing schools".  The result of that is the "charter schools".  The result of that is more "failing schools".  The race to the bottom is in full swing.  And don't forget that 99% of School Boards are run by Catholics, who would love for the public schools to disintegrate, so the Church's "charter schools" can get all that money, which is usually about 3 times as much money as local governments get for EVERYTHING ELSE they do added together.  It's ALWAYS about the money.

Carpe Tutti Bastardi's picture

Utter nonsense.....Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is ever more expensive than

what the government, (i.e, elected and unelected bureaucrats charge us for every

'conceived mandated 'service'  foisted on us! You and I are paying for it and the

outcome of most, if not all, is pitiful. Think VA, think taxes, think Medicare, Medicaid,

think public housing, think MVD, think obamacare, think public education,

think infrastructure, think roadways, bridges, think tolls, think TSA, etc., etc.

 

 

 

consider me gone's picture

And the sky is blue.

fourQ's picture

I wish this had been true,, but it really just sound like a lot of average, low paid, younger people.

mary mary's picture

The ones who get TV shows are highly paid.  They stay stupid while getting meaner.  Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, ad nauseum (emphasis on the nauseum).

AllStarInvestor's picture

Jake Tapper, Brian Stelter, and Anderson Cooper like to urinate on each other - I read it in a dosier.

BetterRalph's picture

Stop issuing press passes to drunks.

BeerMe's picture

They aren't dumber because of their diet.  They are dumber because they are dumber.

OccamsCrazor's picture

God, I just KNEW Andersen Cooper was too stupid to poop !

nancysjet's picture

Hit me in the pooper Im anderson cooper!!!!!!!!!!wheeeeeeeeeeee

FlKeysFisherman's picture

This explains the ridiculous propaganda. My 16 year old grandson can see right through it.

Minack's picture

Anyone who went to a university knows exactly who journalist majors are. They are the students too stupid to major in history and too lazy to major in English.

rockstone's picture

Who here needed a "study" to learn that? Show of hands please.

mary mary's picture

This is the sound of one hand showing.  :-)  :-)

Sam Spayed's picture

People go into journalism when they can't do anything else. It's the occupational catch basin for complete failures.

Navymugsy's picture

The journalism majors are right up there with the women's studies and education majors. Get a real major!

northern vigor's picture

I keep picturing Ted Baxter and Les Nessman 

DirtySanchez's picture

Lots of gay "journalists" sucked cock and swallowed all the way through their graduate work.

These "journalism" "schools" are nothing but a modern day version of sodom and gomorrah.

If your son or daughter finishes at one of these cesspools, be assured they've been licking assholes.

RedKlaxon's picture

"And that's why I won't do two shows a night - I won't..." Beetlejuice

silverer's picture

I'm willing to bet this isn't fake news!

GeoffreyT's picture

Anyone who reads my comment history - here, on Disqus, or on IntenseDebate - will know that I hold no brief for journalists. I think that generally they are second-quintile brains at best: in general they have no more than a dilettante interest in any subject that they write about.

(Exceptions: sports journalists, and a teeeeensy tiny sliver of 'dissident' journalists like Greenwald, Raimondo, Steigerwald, and Taibbi. And Gretchen Morgenstern)

However "Dr Swart recruited 31 journalists from across the industry"... go fuck yourself, Dr Swart.You're either a charlatan, or an ignoramus. Pick one.

N=31 barely gets you through the 'Central Limit Theorem' gate, and only does so if the sample was chosen at random and your regression fulfils the Gauss-Markov conditions (hint: it's unlikely - the proof is a  4 hour lecture on endogenous regressors, collinearity, non-bijectivity and non-constant Jacobians and Hessians... but if pushed I will write that shit down, motherfuckers).

We can say with certainty that this was not a random sample.  There will be availability biases, for a start: an unemployed pisshead journalist is more likely to have time on his hands to participate in some bullshit 'neuroscience' study than, say, Glenn Greenwald or Matt Taibbi.

 

However much I might calumniate run-of-the-mill journalists, it is frankly dishonest to assert with a straight face that they are cognitively on a par with the median individual. Read any of the PIAAC studies: the median individual can barely write their own fucking name, let alone craft a narrative of moderate complexity that involves parsing inputs from a range of partisan sources.

 

 

King of Ruperts Land's picture

Did you read Dr. Swart's paper. or what a "journalist" wrote about his paper?

Librarian's picture

Alcohol is only acceptable when used by Gonzo Journalists under the direction of a sadistic editor.

-Not a Hunter S. Thompson quote

 

Nobodys Home's picture

Sure sounds like one. What have you got in your trunk?

mary mary's picture

"As your attorney, I must advise you to start drinking heavily".  (a Hunter S. Thompson quote :-)

Making Merica Great Again's picture

Unless she is a transgender, i would hit her.

the_linguist's picture

"In some nations, the news media is controlled by a government intervention, and is not a fully independent body.[1] In others, the news media is independent from the government but the profit motive is in tension with constitutional protections of freedom of the press." (from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journalism) .. Health concerns are probably the symptoms of the pressure to balance these factors, independence, profit motive, constitution, freedom of press, etc.

Great article, ZeroHedge, thanks, and thanks to Drudgereport.com, Leakslate.dk etc. for linking to these articles!

Batman11's picture

Other people do, they write out about it.

Journalism is not a career for the intelligent. 

DonGenaro's picture

if i lied for a living, and had promoted endless wars that killed millions, i'd be a drunk too

didthatreallyhappen's picture

does this mean the article was written by an idiot, lololol

besnook's picture

the researchers should have gone to the source. while they may be very nice people, english and journalism majors  tend to be the skim milk and not the cream but they make great spelling and grammar cops on the net.