Blank Reality Check

Tyler Durden's picture

Authored by via Stilton's Place blog,

With the announcement that 25-year old "Reality Winner" (no, really) had been arrested for stealing and leaking top secret documents, it became clear to us that a near and dear friend who was very ill for a very long time had finally been pushed over the brink: we regret to say that Satire is dead.

Because seriously, when a story gets this "in your face" ridiculous - what details are left for us to push to humorous extremes?!

Start with her name: "Reality Winner." Then let's tick off the other boxes: lesbian bodybuilder, ardent Bernie Sanders supporter, a "Black Lives Matter" enthusiast who (though white herself) argues that "Being white is terrorism." A woman whose social media posts include referring to the President of the United States as a "piece of shit" and the "Tangerine in chief," who additionally declares that in a war between the US and Iran, she'll side with Iran.

And still...STILL...she was given a top secret security clearance and access to classified materials. Which raises two very troubling questions: just what in blazing Hell does someone have to do to not get a security clearance, and how many other angry, ignorant, communist-leaning, anti-American social justice warriors are currently embedded in (and sabotaging) our intelligence agencies?!

We're guessing the number to be terrifyingly high, but can't know for sure because trying to find out would require functional intelligence agencies. And that ship, like Satire, has sailed.

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E-Knight's picture

Yet another victim to the hyper neo-liberal propaganda...sad.

froze25's picture

My Guess is that Daddy wasn't part of her life.

813kml's picture

Maybe they'll give her the Chelsea Manning treatment and turn her into a woman.

Erek's picture

Maybe that "blank reality check" is going to bounce?

Pure Evil's picture

If she hated white people.

Why didn't she at least get a tan to cover up all that white skin?

Dye her hair black and put it in a fro?

Learn Ebonics and talk street?


Lesbian bodybuilder, that's so white bread.

NoDebt's picture

At least Rachael Dolezal had the common decency to try to look black and she "identified" as black (despite being born and raised on a midwestern farm to white parents).  This one, zero fucks given.

(Be honest, you forgot about Rachael Dolezal.)

Pure Evil's picture

No I remember her, just didn't have time to throw in a few zingers in about her.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"And still...STILL...she was given a top secret security clearance and access to classified materials."

Can you say "P A T S Y"?

As in fall

Urban Roman's picture

Manchurian lesbian bodybuilder.


NoDecaf's picture

She should have chosen the Saudi Kingdom instead of Iran, but hey everyone has a flaw.

Urban Roman's picture

that wasn't me, by the way. Some overly sensitive Saudi must be lurking..

Tarzan's picture

It's ok, there watching the real bad guys, Grandma and Grandpa. 

Added to the list of potential home grown terrorists, after carrying an American flag and a Bible, while singing the national anthem at a Tea Party Rally.

hongdo's picture

I bet they were/are desperate for Farsi and Pashto and Dari linguists as she is supposed to be, as most analysts are too lazy to learn any languages.

el buitre's picture

She is either a very stupid patsy (LHO was by no means stupid) or a crisis actor.  Maybe she will be tried and sentenced and then sent to Ken Lay's island where she can reverse her lesbianism and have an affair with Timothy McVeigh.

343 Guilty Spark's picture

What most likely happened was her security clearance from the Air Force was still active and used as an interim before the NSA finished her security investigation. The real question is why no one in her social network (which most likely had friends from her old unit and work) didn't voice their concerns with security?

Overfed's picture

If I could have one wish, it would be for all white people who hate white people to set a good example and kill themselves. Preferably all on the same day.

kermudgen's picture

With large amounts of fire so everyone can enjoy the spectical.


I'm just saying....

kermudgen's picture

With large amounts of fire so everyone can enjoy the spectical.


I'm just saying....

Trogdor's picture

This one, zero fucks given.

I think that qualifies for Negative Fucks given ....

JRobby's picture

Or just tatoo her entire body. A painful process that would take several weeks, more than likely cause serious illness or death, and self stigmatize with a very overt label that screams:"SELF HATE", but it is better than being white.

There is good and bad in every race, ethnicity, religeous preference, culture.....However you want to slice it. It is the media and "progressive" legislatures that create biases through their actions.


Miffed Microbiologist's picture

There is a reason you are deferred from donating blood after getting a tattoo. Personally I think it should be permanent exclusion based on the quality of mind of those who do such things.

Lesbians were once touted as the perfect blood donation demographic during the early HIV days. After some analysis, that was quietly withdrawn.


ebear's picture

A notable absence of tatoos and facial piercings on these young ladies:

Aren't they nice?  Don't you wish our millenials looked and sounded so good?

Now take look at this:

(no GMO in these kids diet)

Someone once said Russia is the future of the world.

I think he was right.



IndyPat's picture

one of those someone's was Edgar Casey.

Should take a look at what he said about the future and Russia.. He was right on a lot of things...maybe this one too.

ebear's picture

Interesting.  I found Edgar Cayce, and Edgar Casey on a search - both clairvoyants.

Are they the same person?

Alright then!   The Bear raises a paw to Mystical Christianity!


cheech_wizard's picture

"Poor Impulse Control" tattooed on her forehead.

Friday bonus points: Name the Novel.


Endgame Napoleon's picture

A lot of white parents take care of that self-loathing via dark ink, which is financed by taxpayers due to their copulation / reproduction. If you can afford multiple $800 tats, placing them side by side in close enough proximity, you soon do not have to worry about being born white.

With free food, free rent, free energy, free monthly cash assistance, free daycare and a $6,269 Child Tax Credit check each year at tax time, you are on your way to true liberation from the tyranny of white privilege, especially if you can also live with a boyfriend whose address is listed elsewhere, making it untraceable to the Department of Human Services. His income is not counted against your expenses.

You have help from your grandbaby-obsessed parents, bearing gifts, like SUV payments. So, you, a beleaguered, single mom, have a lot of $$$$$ left over from the low wages in the momma-clique jobs you dominate, no matter how absentee, to do what Michael Jackson was trying to do to himself in reverse.

If you are a single, childless, self-loathing, white person, trying to pay unaffordable rent and all other bills on the low pay [alone] from part-time, low-wage, churn-mobile jobs due to no rewards from Uncle Sam and the U.S. Treasury for birth-canal exits, you will just have to stay white or give up some food and shelter in your quest to ink yourself Black.

Some Black people do it, too. For them, it has more tone-on-tone subtlety. Come to think if it, if they want to copy the white, self-loathing people, they could use light-colored inks. Oh no, please do not tell me this will start a new, self-loathing, race-obsessed trend, financed by U.S. taxpayers in the name of feeding babies.

JRobby's picture

According to ancient legend the white race results from a nuclear explosion in what is now the Gobi desert some 30,000 years ago.  The civilization and techniques which made the explosion possible were wiped out.  The only survivors were slaves marginal to the area who had no knowledge of its science or techniques.  They became albinos as a result of radiation and scattered in different directions. 

Some of them went into Persia northern India Greece and Turkey.  Others moved westward and settled in the caves of Europe.  The descendants of the cave-dwelling albinos are the present inhabitants of America and western Europe.  In these caves the white settlers contracted a virus passed down along their cursed generation that was to make them what they are today a hideous threat to life on this planet.  This virus this ancient parasite, is what Freud calls the unconscious spawned in the eaves of Europe on flesh already diseased from radiation.  Anyone descended from this line is basically different from those who have not had the cave experience and contracted this deadly sickness that lives in your blood and bones and nerves that lives where you used to live before your ancestors crawled into their filthy caves. 

When they came out of the caves they couldn't mind their own business.  They had no business of their own to mind because they didn't belong to themselves any more.  They belonged to the virus.  They had to kill torture conquer enslave degrade as a mad dog has to bite.  At Hiroshima all was lost.  The metal sickness dormant 30,000 years stirring now in the blood and bones and bleached flesh.  


William S. Burroughs - "Exterminator! - Astronaut's Return"

Metastatic Debt's picture

William S. Burroughs - "Exterminator! - Astronaut's Return"

I think a relegion can be made out of this...

Get the right amount of delusional people together. Get Hollywood stars to sell it to the plebs. Fleece and apply psedoscience degradation on followers. Make millions.

Call it Gobi-tology

froze25's picture

Think she will do well in prison with the Dindu's since she is a supporter of the KKK, aka BLM? I don't think they will care that blond hair makes for good hair extensions when the Dindu's do their "Weaves". They will not care about what she support they will only see a white girl with a source of hair extensions.

CheapBastard's picture

Speaking of fanatic left wing hyper-liberal nuts-- here's the latest on Griffin supporter Jim Carry. My guess is it's the drugs that make him look 20 years older then he is:


Jim Carrey likely to face trial in ex-girlfriend’s death

Looks like Kathy Griffin’s buddy, Jim Carrey is in the hot seat.  Jim Carrey is likely to face trial on accusations of ­supplying the drugs that killed his ex-girlfriend.


JRobby's picture

A civil trial. Damages.

He will move to FL like OJ, where they can't take your primary res.

So kids, be warned! Drugs are a bad deal no matter what the CIA and Big Pharma say!

CheapBastard's picture

That's why all those retired Wall Street businessmen and stawk brokers move there also, I guess. Protect their loot in a $10 million house.

SantaClaws's picture

My guess is it's the drugs that make him look 20 years older then he is:  "Sweetman also alleges Carrey gave her daughter, 33, three sexually transmitted diseases and pressured her to keep it quiet before her death in September 2015."

Which drugs are you referring to? Or all of the above?

Ghost of PartysOver's picture

So sad.  Just another example of what the Government Education / Indoctrination System is turning out.  The future looks bleak doesn't it?

froze25's picture

Not really bleak, the MSM only show the shit bag young people but if you actually talk to them and go to their spots and listen there are plenty that are hard working and actually still believe in gender roles. They want to make it look like the majority of them are like the SJW nuts but the reality is they aren't.

I agree that the education system is trying their best to destroy future generations.

CheapBastard's picture

The young conservative groups on campus are growing but you have college administrators on campus who allow rampant reverse racism and violence like we recently saw at UT whenre the guy had been writing threats on fat houses for weeks and the admin/pres did nothing to stop it. This killer actually asked his victims if they were frat members before he stabbed them. Oddly, all his victims are white:


Stabbing spree on University of Texas campus kills 1, injures 3



The media tries to twist this into another mental health issue but cold-blooded murder is cold-blooded murder and luckily he faces the death penalty. Hopefully, the vicitim's families sue the school and administrators who did nothing to stop the bullying by these left wing thugs. They knew or had reason to know these people are violent imo.

ebear's picture

"They want to make it look like the majority of them are like the SJW nuts but the reality is they aren't."

The problem is, they don't have to be a majority to be effective - only determined, whilst the rest of us do nothing to stop them.  Read up on "tyranny of the minority" to understand the effect. 

open calender's picture

you can add an extra 1200/USD a week to your account working at home for 3 hours a day... go here to this site...

Erek's picture

$1200 a week is chump-change.

I'm still looking for the $7000 a week scam. Where did it go?

DRTexas's picture

I'm investing in it as we speak.  Should pay off any day now.

peippe's picture

i did the thing described above your rant & it was the best decision ever, 

i get to work from home for only 10 hours a day, just picked up my 

Mazda 3, (leased), living semi-large now bitcheez!

Thinking of treating my significant other to Sizzzzzzleeeeer two night!

If I can find that mailer coupon i saw around here a few days ago......

Uncertain T's picture

During a job interview with a former female inmate.... I asked her why she wanted a job... Her reply " So I will never have to lick another pussy for a pack of smokes" ....

Good Luck Ms Winner

DRTexas's picture

Well... Did she get the job?

BorisTheBlade's picture

Yes, enquiring deplorable minds demand to know.

Chuck Walla's picture

I think Ms. Winner may take up smoking real soon.

hxc's picture

Best comment of the thread. Don't even need to read the rest. Laughing while drinking beer in an airport

Metastatic Debt's picture

Turn her into a woman??? No, wait! The last time that was tried we ended up with Maxine Winters.