Bitcoin Bounce Sparks John McAfee To Forecast $500,000 Price Or He'll "Eat His Own D*ck On Live TV"

Tyler Durden's picture

Originally published at

Now this is the sort of story you're all interested in reading about. I can see it now, 'man forced to eat his own penis after bitcoin bet goes sideways.'

This is the indelible position John 'Jungle Killer' McAfee has just placed himself into. Unbelievably, he's wagered to eat, mind you, his very own dick should the price of bitcoin not rise 22,636% to $500,000 inside of three short years. Here is the Twitter thread where this outlandish bet was forged and made.

Thus far, it appears McAfee has the upper hand in this death bet, with bitcoin soaring off the weekend's lows.

Even still, it will take a rally of monumental proportions to save the penis of John McAfee, who, obviously, places little value on his human anatomy. It's worth noting, McAfee's new company, MGTI, fashions themselves to be North America's largest bitcoin miner - leveraging up to purchase high powered machines to mine the valuable cryptocurrency.

You can peruse his cocksure twitter feed, where he's challenging a sundry of normies to six figure bets based off the eventual price of Bitcoin. He wants money to be held in escrow and will do a minimum of $100k. He quite literally placed his balls where his mouth is. Let's just hope it all ends up well for Mr. McAfee, as we'd all prefer to see him walking around, virile, with purpose, and placing future bets on his seemingly expendable and valueless penis.

No word on how he intends to ensure the removal of his penis by betting participants, who take him up on this venture.

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ParkAveFlasher's picture

This is why yoga is impressive to many.

Raffie's picture

Good stuff win or lose... LOL

strannick's picture

He's not flexible enough to eat his own dick

Creepy_Azz_Crackaah's picture

Electronic 1s and 0s are incredibly valuable. I'm emptying some out of my computer now. They'll be for sale soon.

Line up...

Killer the Buzzard's picture

Why do dogs lick their balls?  Because they can.

Ignatius's picture

Has anyone considered the possibility that he actually might want to lose this bet?

People have some strange fetishes, just sayin'.

This could gather more eyeballs than Apollo 11.

Creative_Destruct's picture

Are we talking gastronomy or self-fellatio?

Pinto Currency's picture

And a loaf of bread will be $1M.

fx's picture

I am with him. Either I will be getting filthy rich on a speculation with a token amount of money. Or I will enjoy watching a guy eat his own dick for no discernable reason. Sounds like a win-win to me ...

jcaz's picture

Of course- cause he'll have been dead for two years.....

T-NUTZ's picture

Who the fuck is John McAfee??

XBroker1's picture

I realize that was a sarcastic question.  He is just another cog in the conTROLLed opoisition wheel. If he says buy something, ruuuuunnn the other way. He's the anti virus guy whose product gave  you a virus. Anyone who is remotely related to the Alex Jones syndicate is also one of these.

Manipulism's picture

This guy George Webb who tries to find out whats going on with Seth Rich , the Clintons,Podestas etc was working at McAffee and in on of his youtube videos he says that they fabricated the viruses there themself regulary.

Between episode 220-250 I think.

So, Mcaffee is a fraud himself.

He is a fucking Miner extraordinare.


tion's picture

And when was this? You realize he quit his company in 1994 when the company was still VERY young, right? And also sold his shares. Of course the company was captured. But don't conflate the company that bore his name with the man himself. You are making a leap, there. Also, do you think George Webb is not worthy of some level of scrutiny as well?

tion's picture

I just took a trip down memory lane and looked up some dates. 1994 was around the same time Nvidia and the original Doom game were born, and two years before hotmail was founded, quake1 was released, and was born. Mcaffee antivirus was not a virus giving turd yet in those days before Mcaffee quit.

Ignatius's picture

God gave dogs that ability because dogs have a stronger moral compass.

Implied Violins's picture

You made me laugh so hard that now I want to sniff some ass.

remain calm's picture

Maybe he has a horsey dickey, and he just nibble on the tip.

Putrid_Scum's picture

Everybody remain calm!!!

It's only a dick eating bet ...

Never One Roach's picture

He's just bragging. It's a new pick up line that will surely get him many solicitations.

Team_Huli's picture

Lorena Bobbitt has no problem handing it to him...

Dixie Rect's picture

Call Lorena Bobbit to help

2rigged2fail's picture

hannibal lecter will have a part on the show

The Transpirator's picture

I dunno, he seems quite cocksure to me

remain calm's picture

You want mustard or ketcup with that weiner?

Raffie's picture

Chicago style for him.

He did say in next 3 YEARS so........

peopledontwanttruth's picture

His next announcement will be that he's running for office. Sounds like he has the lying part down pretty good

freedogger's picture

The world would be a better place if we could all reach that far.

JuliaS's picture

Fonestar made the same bet 3 years ago. That's why we don't hear from him anymore.

FatTony7915726's picture

This sociopath & murderer should lay off the crystal meth!

nope-1004's picture

+1.  He is obviously talking his own book, that's all.

magnetosphere's picture

he didn't murder that guy! his crazy gf did it!

gmak's picture

Are we talking Hannibal Lector or Harry Reed approach?

tmosley's picture

That would be the question of the year come 2020, IF he is wrong.

Might have been better to bet on the total market cap of the sector surpassing 3.6 trillion, which is that approximate equivalent of the market cap of bitcoin by then assuming a half million per BTC.

Mustafa Kemal's picture

I got a few BTC, so this is definitely a win-win for me

1stepcloser's picture

Bread is gonna be 50K.... so we'll see

tmosley's picture

Dollar based hyperinflation would save him even if he were wrong in his extreme bullishness.

DeeZ_nutZ's picture

sounds like some stupid fucks should take their gold stash and shove it up their collective asses.  at least that way they will be in "full possession" (if you don't have in your hands, you don't own it, remember?).  anus would be the best asset holding place for the stupid shits that dumped their savings into the shiny shit.

Oh, by the way, max keiser sez hello and thank you for fish, suckers!

silverserfer's picture

deep, deep, way down inside... you know your "investment" is fucked.  

zuuma's picture

An anus-load of gold is still a lot of money.

Always washable, too.

Secret Weapon's picture

I guess that is the proverbial "shit load" that every one talks about.

Yen Cross's picture

  This guy needs to move back to Unicornland.

WillyGroper's picture

it'll prolly get you a loaf of bread by that time if it's not hacked, whacked & hijacked.


at his age, he's hardly lithe as a cat & if he's referring to a particular appendage ratio, i don't think so.  

Felix da Kat's picture

I thought that black chick aready did.