Baltimore Chaos - Ceasefire In "Violence-Plagued" City Starts Today

Tyler Durden's picture


A ceasefire between Baltimore “gang leaders, drug dealers and others linked to the violence” has been agreed on and will come into effect on Friday.

This is an act of desperation from a community that is currently experiencing a homicide rate doubled of Chicago’s and a murder count higher than NYC. The ceasefire aims to stop the killings for at-least 72-hours, starting on August 04-06.

The slogan selected by organizers gets right to the point: “Nobody kill anybody”.

Violent crime in Baltimore has flourished over the past few years, due to the “Ferguson Effect”, along with the death of “Freddie Gray” that triggered Baltimore’s April 2015 riots.

According to the EconomistBaltimore may see more than 400 murders this year. This would indicate 2017 will be the deadliest year ever on record.

August homicides are already in full-swing leading up to the ceasefire.

Yearly data projects many more months of violent crime for the city.

Mapping out the 208 homicides across Baltimore City looks like battleship.

If nothing else comes from the ceasefire, such gestures were a first step in helping residents feel that they were regaining control of neighborhoods, said Cassandra Crifasi, deputy director of the Johns Hopkins-Baltimore Collaborative for Violence Reduction.

“Even if it ends up being only one day without a shooting, that’s going to be good for the city,” Crifasi said.


It’s highly unlikely that Baltimore “gang leaders, drug dealers and others linked to the violence”  will take a 72-hour loss in profits and give up their corner where drugs are peddled from.

Baltimore is a chaotic war zone and it’s time we start treating it like one.

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Billy the Poet's picture

Hold on a minute, I accidentally killed Leon. Can we start again?


Put those Black Lives Matter folks in charge. 

Should be good for a few thousand more shootings than a normal weekend, 'cause they sure don't give a fuck.  

FreeShitter's picture

Nigs are always gonna nig. What a world eh?


JohnG's picture

So how many killed today then?

VWAndy's picture

 No no he is just resting!

J S Bach's picture

If this works, why not make it August 4th through - say - Christmas?

Because it won't work... that's why.  You can take the African our of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the African.

Dormouse's picture

"You know the worst thing about niggers? Niggers always want some credit for some shit they supposed to do. A nigger will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A nigger will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids." You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker! What are you talking about?" What kind of ignorant shit is that? "I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!"
— Chris Rock

We didn't shoot nobody fo' 3 ho' days!

The_Juggernaut's picture

Omfg, how did we never think of this before? Not killing each other will totally bring the murder rate right down. Somebody's a fucking genius.

NoPension's picture

Someone should just declare Baltimore a " No Gun Zone " .

Of course, the signs need to be a picture, in a circle, with a slash through it.

Do it for the ....childrens.

Sanity Bear's picture

What we need to do is give these guys jobs with the federal government. Stuff like building security in DC, there's a train between the cities that can take them right there.

GoldRulesPaperDrools's picture

What we need to do is give these guys jobs with the federal government. Stuff like building security in DC, there's a train between the cities that can take them right there.

What do you think is going on NOW??

yomutti2's picture

Instead of asking them not to kill for a weekend, why not encourage them to settle all their "family business" instead? The gutter scum could all kill each other offer, and the city would be vastly improved.

Sanity Bear's picture

> What do you think is going on NOW??

They killing the wrong people?

Inexcye Solm's picture

Snot. may he rest in peace.

Canary Paint's picture

Kind of crazy just how long ago David Simon was trying to sound an alarm about Baltimore...

booboo's picture

anyone named "Anybody"

Ajax-1's picture

I wondered the same thing. Who is Nobody and why does he want to kill Anybody? I suppose that i'll never understand Ebonics.

Offthebeach's picture

3:00 PM.  Wake up.

3:20 PM.  Fuit Loops cereal,  no milk in crib so use Pepsi.  Notice dog shit piles from a week ago not cleaned up.

4:00-4:30.PM  Fall asleep,  spill Fruit Loops, pitbull ate spill, fresh dog shit smell, watch ESPN, massage groin.  Phone calls, texts from buds waking up.

5:00 PM. Cildrens back frm skool, post skill dinner food program.  Yell at childns about dog shit.  Hot dog piss smell.  Watch Sports Center.  Screen call about repo the Chrysler 300...




ModernMusket's picture

So true. You forgot how they smoke a blunt when they first wake up.

Freddie's picture

Only thing dumber is white males who cheer on their NCAA, NFL and NBA Trayvon rapist heroes.

Stupid whites help enable these animals especially dumb SEC southern whites.  FSU fans loved rapist QB Jameis Winston.  They would have cheered him on if he raped their sister.  Pathetic NCAA fan boy retards.

booboo's picture

Awww, looky here, Freddie is a butthurt Big Ten Fan where negro's all behave

jerry_theking_lawler's picture

And me and you 'supplement' them procreating at a faster rate than productive citizens. The system is flawed...or is it?


Send in an army of snowflakes with saftey pins, non lethal response to volence, some puppies, play-doh, and a safe space playhouse. 

Give the homies some target practice at the least. 

fishpoem's picture

Beautiful! Thanks for the laugh. And btw, the "truce" will fail entirely for grammatical reasons. Should read


Freddie's picture

Silver dude is on a roll today.

Trayvons and Michael Browns shootin this weekend.

Dumb white males will be cheering em on during NAA, SEC and  games lik cucks.

Offthebeach's picture

Trust fund girls in pink Prises with COEXITS stickers and brochures for college. 

factorypreset's picture

Now what am I gonna do this weekend??


seabiscuit's picture

I hear Caracas is lovely this time of year.

curbjob's picture

"Just Say No ! "

hugs; the ghost of Nancy.

I woke up's picture

Since this is directed at the thugs shouldn't it say "Nobody kill nobody" so that they understand what is trying to be said

subversion's picture

I doubt they make it 24 hours.


They tried that already - first shooting was 15 minutes later. Fucktards. 

IridiumRebel's picture

More gun laws should fix it!

wisehiney's picture


I just pulled my boat up into the harbor to watch the rockets red glare.

And now they pull this bullshit.

How un American.

Catahoula's picture

Murder rate would be off chart if they signed kapernick. Lol

IridiumRebel's picture

His Moose Limb cunt girlfriend already fucked that up for him.

Anderson Coopers Gerbil's picture

Where is Marlow when we need him

Newbie lurker's picture


I loved The Wire.

NoPension's picture

Bubbles. We needs Bubbles.

Akzed's picture

Yeah but the first two years no Bmore accents!

VWAndy's picture

 Did anyone think to tell the cops? Maybe they could just shoot dogs to control the thirst?

Ranting Troglodyte's picture

What's the over/under on this?

CHoward's picture

"Ok yo, I stop for one day but gots to pop a cap in 2 'morrow".

MoonWatcher's picture

How pathetic has it become, that they need to be told "Nobody kill anybody".  Not sure if I should laugh or be saddened by Baltimore. 

daveO's picture

"Nobody kill nobody" is more like it. The word anybody is too white. I suspect a silly white woman came up with this one.

Sanity Bear's picture

"Nobody kill nobody" doesn't mean anything in nig. Nobody is nobody. You can't kill nobody. So saying that nobody kill nobody don't make no sense because nobody don't need to worry about not doing what nobody can do. Dig?

dchang0's picture

It's not much better than the "Do Not Rape" signs and bracelets over in Europe....