'Aspiring Pastor' Hillary Goes From Seances And SpiritCooks To Bible Thumping

ZeroPointNow's picture

Content originally published at iBankCoin.com

According to deep state’s department of brand management & optics, Atlantic division, the ever-pious Hillary Clinton wants to become a pastor – a move which is sure to bring religious rust-belt swing voters back to the blue side for any future political endeavors…

“Hillary Clinton wants to preach. That’s what she told Bill Shillady, her longtime pastor, at a recent photo shoot for his new book about the daily devotionals he sent her during the 2016 campaign. Scattered bits of reporting suggest that ministry has always been a secret dream of the two-time presidential candidate: Last fall, the former Newsweek editor Kenneth Woodward revealed that Clinton told him in 1994 that she thought “all the time” about becoming an ordained Methodist minister. She asked him not to write about it, though: “It will make me seem much too pious.” The incident perfectly captures Clinton’s long campaign to modulate—and sometimes obscure—expressions of her faith.” –The Atlantic

Because what better way to make people forget about a massive pay-for-play scheme, raping Haiti, and a bitchy image than God?


While Hillary has apparently been in the closet for decades over her desire to preach, she turned heads in the 90’s when investigative journalist Bob Woodward wrote in his book ‘The Choice,” that Clinton “held imaginary conversations with Eleanor Roosevelt and Mahatma Ghandi as therapeutic release.” When an advisor suggested that she communicate with Jesus Christ, she declined, saying it would be “too personal.”

Satanic Idols

In 1993, the president of Wellesley College approved a new rule that all senior theses written by a president or first lady of the United States would be kept under lock and key, a move aimed at preventing the public from learning about their new First Lady. After the Clintons left the White House, however, Hillary’s senior thesis was released to the public – a 92 page homage to radical leftist Saul Alinsky, who dedicated his book to Lucifer.

Hillary describes Alinsky as a “neo-Hobbesian who objects to the conventional mystique surrounding political processes; for him, conflict is the route to power.”

Kind of like Satan, or Jihad.

That’s the spirit! 

I’m sure you remember #Spiritcooking satanist Marina Abramovic from 2016 election Wikileaks  who Tony Podesta gave money to, who was invited to Hillary Clinton’s Campaign launch, whose art Hillary Clinton placed in US embassies around the world, who Hillary wanted to invite to a lunch event, who donated the maximum $2700 to Hillary’s campaign, and who said in a Reddit AMA (“Ask Me Anything”) that her spirit cooking dinners in private homes are not art.

I think it’s safe to say that Hillary Clinton is a fan of Marina Abramovic, whose ‘art’ probably wouldn’t go over so well with the Methodist congregation Hillary apparently wants to preach to.

While Hillary’s base is sure to lap up her new ‘revelation’ about her faith, the rest of us aren’t buying it…

What will they cook up next?

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NuYawkFrankie's picture

Hillary's "Bride Of Beelzeebub Ministry - Saving Souls for Satan!"

Join Her for a "Live Vivisection!" this Sabbath!

JoeSixpack1952's picture

This b!tch is feeling the heat that's coming her way... aka she is scare to go the JAIL !

Grandad Grumps's picture

Like Torquemada wanted to preach?

I have a theory. The basis of Christ is not a single person, but is instead an energy field that humans can connect to as part of their evolutionary/ maturation process. The original appeal of Christianity is that everyone can have a direct connection with God. Once connected we can't help but become more Christ-like. Not everyone wants to grow up and those who don't want to grow up want everyone else to stay kids so that they can enslave and dominate them. What is the fun of being king of the hill if no one else is playing?

So, while Yeshua (Jesus) was undoubtedly a very proficient Christ, he was not the only one.

If you are elitist humans or a human-silicon hybrid, how do you fight an energy field? Maybe you do it by saturating the environment with electromagnetic waves (wifi, 4g 5g, chemtrails/HAARP) and by making other humans human-silicon slaves to their hive mind... chipping our brains and controlling our thoughts. Chemtrail pilots have said that the only thing they were told is that their mission was essential to defense. Huh, really?

I do not suspect that Hillary has connected to the Christ consciousness. Her outfit says "false prophet".

blindfaith's picture



Well, this is one way to avoid paying taxes.  Later that day, Bill Clinton becomes Pope.

otschelnik's picture

Shillary thinks she's good at preaching. 

FreedomWriter's picture

She is the leader of a coven. We are very fortunate she is not leader of the United States.

messystateofaffairs's picture

In the early 90's I read The Transformation of America. The contents made Josef Mengele look like a choir boy. It was too horrible to be sure it was true at the time. After years of watching the characters from the book, I am confident the book is true now.

lakecity55's picture

This broad is cruising for a lightning bolt.


space junk's picture

The Whore of Babylon wants to soften her image into a less-murderous, more 'democratic', and non-vote-stealing way.  Honest like those fucking TV evangelists...yeah right you evil demonic piece of dog shit


And they say this kind of shit with a straight face.  I'd literally be more apt to believe Charles Manson if he said he'd found Jesus, than the Wicked Witch of the East.



King of Ruperts Land's picture

I think she feels the noose, and is doing everything she can to get only life in prison.

I Write Code's picture

If ordination includes a water bucket test she'll melt before she makes it to the pulpit.

King of Ruperts Land's picture

“But (s)he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:” Mark 3:29

Just saying.

vaporland's picture

satirist and artist Marina Abramovic

fixed that for you. context is everything...

Krugg's picture

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

GentlemanJim's picture

The true test will be when she touches holy water. That bitch will go up in flames.

NukeChinaNow's picture

First Church of the Sacrificing of Babies to Mother Earth ..'cause it's PROGRESSIVE!

I Write Code's picture

Sure, and she's going to start wearing a nice pair of pearl-handled Glocks in Gucci holsters.

Haitian Snackout's picture

I was hoping for strychnine drinking and snake handling.

francis scott falseflag's picture

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and the bible is the last refuge of Lilith.


So now we are propping up old hitlery pictures and claiming shes an evangelist wanna be? Is this a market test for those nationalist/populist voters? FAIL!!!!

lennysrv's picture

This is fucking comical.  Next, she'll organize some sort of lesbo-rock band with Huma and tour East Asia.

ebear's picture

"Next, she'll organize some sort of lesbo-rock band with Huma and tour East Asia."

LOL... with Pussy Riot as their lead act!

space junk's picture


Be Ashamed.  lIs there nothing this woman won't stop at. Seriously pathological. Someone please, PLEASE tell me this is an Onion article...


She should join the United Methodist Church.  They have no religiouis beliefs left other than being fat, old, lesbian or socialist.  Her fat ass would fit right in.  Deploy Marxism in the name of GOD.  There's no blasphemy too big for the Clintons. SHAME is for the little people right? 


Who cares that she has a trail of bodies 100 miles long leading up to 2 weeks ago.  "What difference, at this point, does it make?"

NukeChinaNow's picture

The creature is beyond the concepts of mere human shame.

It answers only to muhammed or Lucifer ( the Lord rebuke him ).

It's vast knowledge and superiority is so far above the average mortal and outweigh any attempts

to limit it's desire to reign as a Supreme Leader of the Church of Global Warming.

But hey, what do I know?

DelusionalGrandeur's picture

Why this Cunt is not swinging from a lamppost is beyond me.

space junk's picture

The lighting bolt itself was too ashamed to touch herl

In Stasis's picture

Wolves in sheeps clothing. You will know them by their fruit.

All empires, desires, money and power will eventually disappear. Her name will be scattered to the wind in time, a sad footnote in the history books, as happened to the Romans in the past.

In the end, the Christ will judge everyone for every deed that they have done both good and bad, and that is where i put my faith.

King of Ruperts Land's picture

Eternal justice is fine. I want earthly justice now. Christ did not tell the sick, to wait for healing in the next like. Christ healed in this life. I call upon Christ to heal this country now. I would like justice in this life.

iamerican4's picture

"...as happened to the Romans?"

Rome yet rules: the Anti-Christ Hillary has long served as beard to "Big Oil on Murder and Arson" heir Winthrop Rockefeller's white-trash yard-baby, Bill.

Thankfully their Fifth Column Beast of (((Gog))) and Babylon is going down, praise God.

pfwed's picture

amen and amen ... however, and excuse me brother, but certain things set my teeth on edge ... 'the' Christ is one of them ... 'that' Christ would be JESUS Christ ... just sayin ... it IS a crucially significant differentiation


carry on my friend

D-plorable's picture

Without a doubt this cunt is inhabited by a spirit of jezebel, some people call it the bride of satan. It is one of the most powerful demons in the kingdom of darkness. I know because it was manifesting in my ex gf and it was attacking me, almost drove me to suicide. I received deliverance and God healed me and got that thing away from me. Www.greatbiblestudy.com www.jaybartlett.org are great for more info

Pitchman's picture

What is going on at the Atlantic?  Jan - March the promote changing continuity of government regiments to take down Trump.

The other day they wrote about McMaster firing the analyst who warned of the Marxist Muslim combine to take down America

And now this?

Inflection Point


King of Ruperts Land's picture

Sounds like Atlantic is an enemy publication conducting warfare on the United States.

pfwed's picture


bombshell on Infowars today .... direct from Roger Stone .. Israeli's intercept daily McMaster email WH update reports to Soros




BGO's picture

Too late for atonement, you evil twat. Best get right with the Devil; the Devil, unlike your lizard brethren, plays for keeps.

Pitchman's picture

All the while Chelsea is forming a foundation for girls to visit their mothers in prison! Look it up. She loves her so.

Yes, Hillary will appease the Pope, happily uniting Christiandom with Wahabism; with a spirit stering sermon at the Mosque on Little St. James, before she goes pron in prison?

Will Bill have conjugals with the energizer bunny?

But for the unknown knowns, life would seem simple!

Inflection Point

Milton Keynes's picture

She may want to preach,

She will likely Shriek.

Golden Showers's picture

In much the same way as many of us, including myself, are compelled to rant here, the sad fact is that Hillary Clinton apparently needs the podium and spotlight so desperately--as long as she can continue to lie to ever greater or graver levels. Note how she needs this external body to polute... the church, in this case. Note how she wears gold robes. And take it from me, the Methodists are relatively accomodating as far as Christian sects are concerned.

What I'm saying is that Hillary is doing what she can to continue to feed off the energy of fools, to appear in great standing, to lie, to defile, to be great, and it shows what a whore she really is.

A whore.

If you can't beat them, go Robert Schuller. Go Jim Jones. Go Bono. Fucking whores.

LightBulb18's picture

What an awesome photo of hillary, saved it to my hard drive. Really makes the stories of their luciferain cults come to life when I see her happy smile in the Satanic robe. In God I trust.

Stud Duck's picture

A Methodist is just a Baptist with a high school degree!

NukeChinaNow's picture

Muslims are the Mormons of the Middle East.

But hey, what do I know?

Kyddyl's picture

I'll take the Muslims...I have to live with the Mormons.

Is-Be's picture

Monothists! What did you expect with a MIGTOW god?

He ain't no family man, but an unballanced caracature of the Male Aspect.

The prognosis of this disease is clear and evident to all but the Wilfuly Blind.


Victory_Garden's picture

Or...a fresh hot pile of shat will convince the gullible that it does not stink...like a big fresh hot pile of shat.

Have you heard this yet?

AG Lynch Scandal Linked to White House:







ironmace's picture

that one in the gold robes is creepy.

All she needs is a rams skull on her head

FredFlintstone's picture

She would make a great Methodist...fit right in. They don't take bibles to church. That is basically a social club for middling people.

one_fed_up_chick's picture

That thud you heard earlier was God falling off his throne, laughing his ass off.

Playtime's Over's picture

Clinton's are some sick bastards.

John_Coltrane's picture

It boggles the mind that this neurologically damaged lush bitch is still alive. And Soros too for that matter. It does lend credibility to those Satanism charges.

Can you imagine how good you'll feel when she's finally worm food! Save lots of bubbly for that day.