Guam Issues "Preparing For An Imminent Missile Threat" Guide: "Do Not Look At The Fireball"

Tyler Durden's picture

Guam Homeland Security issued a new fact sheet Friday, which the agency says will help residents prepare for an imminent missile threat.

The information was released following this week's threat by North Korea to launch a missile attack against Guam. The advice includes tips such as:

"Do not look at the flash or fireball – It can blind you" and


"Take cover behind anything that might offer protection."


“Lie flat on the ground and cover your head. If the explosion is some distance away, it could take 30 seconds or more for the blast wave to hit,” the sheet states.

During a press conference at Adelup late Friday afternoon, USA Today reports that Gov. Eddie Calvo told reporters that the threat level remains the same and that the island is "safe and sound."

"There are no changes," Calvo said.


"Everyone should continue to live their lives."

While the governor said there's no imminent threat to the island, he said families should still be prepared any situation, including inclement weather, and establish a family emergency plan.

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GUS100CORRINA's picture

Guam Issues "Preparing For An Imminent Missile Threat" Guide: "Do Not Look At The Fireball"

My response: ROFL!!! Everyone is loosing their collective minds over nothing.

mtl4's picture

Should make for some great scuba diving in a few years.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Mom warned me there was something else that would make me blind.

Now what was that she said?

FrozenGoodz's picture

It's all fun n games until the world ends

hedgeless_horseman's picture

What you gonna do when the bombs start to fall?

As an exercise, please consider the following questions:


How do you think most others around you would react?


Do you already have a plan that you would implement for this type of scenario?


What immediate action(s) would you take? 


What are the three most likely perils you might face?


What is the thing you could do, now, to most improve your chance of surviving each of these three perils?

tmosley's picture

Hop on my flying pig and go visit the icy caverns of Hell.

Eyes Opened's picture

U don't have a flying pig... do u... not really...

I thought not.. 

Putrid_Scum's picture

I'm going to drink some champagne and marinate some long-pig.

hedgeless_horseman's picture


Do not look at the Fireball?

Do not spill the Fireball.

Troy Ounce's picture


Don't look at the fire ball as well as the Seth Rich story.

therover's picture

Mix 1 shot of Fireball and 1 and 1/2 shots of Rumchata....good stuff. 

Banana Republican's picture

I looked at that and had a sudden urge to masturbate.

I'd better learn braille, and fast.

land_of_the_few's picture

Good Lord. Must find some. Looks great!

cbxer55's picture

It is GREAT! It's the one thing my favorite watering hole has a hard time keeping in stock. Fireball shots! I looked at the Fireball!  Oh Noez! ;-)

HRClinton's picture

Pitbull says is cool to look at this Fireball.

Mr. Worldwide to infinity
You know the roof on fire
We gon' boogie oogie oggi, jiggle, wiggle and dance
Like the roof on fire
We gon' drink drink and take shots until we fall out
Like the roof on fire
Now baby give a booty naked, take off all your clothes,
and light the roof on fire
Tell her baby baby baby baby
I'm in fire
I tell her baby baby baby
I'm a fireball


83_vf_1100_c's picture

Pitbull, white rapper right? His lyrics suck, hope he has a great voice.

Putrid_Scum's picture

I'm hoping the world ends, gettin' bored for fresh kabuki. 



remain calm's picture

Checks in the mail

I love you

i will not cum in your mouth

Do not look at the fire ball 

American Psycho's picture

^^ haha. I think you also forgot, "just the tip."

fauxhammer's picture

Oh, I know!  Here, hold my beer...

MalteseFalcon's picture

If WWIII starts between North Korea and Guam, then these countries are GOG and MAGOG and bible prophesy is WRONG.



Akzed's picture

Rev. 1:1-3 tells you all you need to know about the timeframe for the fulfillment of biblical prophecy.

Spoiler alert: it was a long time ago.

Amos or Andy, one, I foget which, said Guam was gonna tip over. You should visit. It's nice.



MalteseFalcon's picture

No, it's Noah 69:22-26

"And the Lord opened the fifth seal, the climate warmed and brought forth water unto the land.

And Guam and Manhattan were moistened. 

Two Guamites smuggled upon the ark to escape the unseasonable weather and to pantomime in the talent show.

When Noah discovered the Guamites were both men, Noah had them disembark over the rail.

And the splash pleaseth the Lord."

FixItAgainTony's picture

Ask the Vatican for a full refund of your seat price if Revelations does not play out to your expectations.

knukles's picture

Probbaly something about looking at the splash.
Or clean up after yourself.


Eyes Opened's picture

ALWAYS wear clean underpants... u never know when u are out & about & might git NUKED !!

Kevin Trader's picture

Trust me, she was wrong, very, very wrong

MrSteve's picture

Here on Rockytop, we keep an eye out for bad moonshine..

Countrybunkererd's picture

good ole' Rockytop.  Oh how I miss thee.

HRClinton's picture

Re "Mom warned me there was something else that would make me blind.

Now what was that she said?"


She told you: "Do not date Rosie Palm!"

cbxer55's picture

But! But! She's my favorite babe!  ;-)

J Jason Djfmam's picture

Dont worry, the fire and fury will burn the hair off the palms of your hands.

Putrid_Scum's picture

 I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.


2:14 "The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you." Jack Bauer

Raffie's picture

Send all the crypto haters there to use their bodies to shield everyone from the blast.


CheapBastard's picture

On the other hand, tourism from SK and Japan is skyrocketing there right now since Guam lowered airfares and hotel prices. It's pretty funny to see hundreds of solid porcelain white bodies on the beaches there, safely playing around in the water happily, like civilized people ... compared to beaches in America.


Shooting at 'Stop the Violence Beach Party' kills 19-year-old

idahobandito's picture

I think most are following these "events" way too close, and should be looking for what the deep state and elites are hiding. Something else is going down, and we should try to notify each other if there is a sudden lack of visual celebrities and politicians out and about. Maybe a natural disaster, or something of sorts. 2 months ago, Syria was the fuse, now its NK......maybe its really a astroid or massive quake?

Donald J. Trump's picture

Shouldn't they be concerned that the island will tip over and capsize say if the blast hits one side?  Heck the blast probably could just be near the island and the resulting waves would tip it over.  

yogibear's picture

You should find hotels in Guam. They should be real cheap. Not sure about airfares. 

Who wants to be landing when the bombs go off.

Fat-boy Un probably won't do missiles.

wisehiney's picture

"Fuck all that.

Pull out that next half gallon.

And someone touch a fireball to the other end of this."

HRClinton's picture

'Reset!', youy say?  Time to load up on Silver coins.

bunkers's picture  for nuclear preparedness items

tmosley's picture

There will be missiles, but they will not be nuclear, and they will not strike the island.

This will probably be the last escalation before the negotiations start in earnest.

LindseyNarratesWordress's picture

Mr. Mosley, with-all-due-respect, President Trump has made-his-stance VERY CLEAR:  if North Korea launches missiles at Guam, PERIOD, that will be viewed as a declaration-of-war, and our nation will HAVE to attack, no matter what.


I do not think that a lot of people, here, at Mr. Durden's site, fully-appreciate the FACT that President Trump is NOT a man to back-down, once he "knows" that he is right in his decision, and that means that we WILL be at-war, very soon.


If I am wrong, THEN THANK GOD!!!!  I DO NOT want to be right, in this situation, but I do not see how I am wrong, given what has been said, what has been done, and extrapolating-out what North Korea will have in just a coupe of years, how this situation can continue, without drastic action, ASAP.



Countrybunkererd's picture

If Kim launches at Guam you have 14 minute to impact.  Decision window of what, maybe only one minute tops for:

-Are they nuclear warheads?

-What is their exact trajectory- near impossible to determine within the 30-40km window Kim states?

-We WILL attempt to shoot them down. Period.

-Do we strike back?  Very likely.

Bay of Pigs's picture

Settle down. Get a cup of decaf.


Eyes Opened's picture

"I do not think that a lot of people, here, at Mr. Durden's site, fully-appreciate the FACT that President Trump is NOT a man to back-down".....


OMG Lindsay PLEEZE tell me u are /sarc'ing us !!!

And MR. durden ?? You'll never survive the fema camps... lol