Former CIA Agent Is Raising Cash To Buy Twitter And Delete Trump's Account

Tyler Durden's picture

Unveiling a novel, if oddly circuitous attempt to shut up President Donald Trump on his favorite social network, former undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson has launched a crowdfunding campaign in hopes of raising enough money to buy Twitter so she can then ban Trump from using it.

The blonde ex-spook launched the fundraiser last week, tweeting: “If @Twitter executives won’t shut down Trump’s violence and hate, then it’s up to us. #BuyTwitter #BanTrump.”

The GoFundMe page for the fundraiser says Trump’s tweets “damage the country and put people in harm’s way.”

From the campaign:

Donald Trump has done a lot of horrible things on Twitter. From emboldening white supremacists to promoting violence against journalists, his tweets damage the country and put people in harm's way. But threatening actual nuclear war with North Korea takes it to a dangerous new level. 


It’s time to shut him down. The bad news is Twitter has ignored growing calls to enforce their own community standards and delete Trump's account. The good news is we can make that decision for them.


Twitter is a publicly traded company. Shares = power. This GoFundMe will fund the purchase of a controlling interest in Twitter. At the current market rate that would require over a billion dollars — but that's a small price to pay to take away Trump's most powerful megaphone and prevent a horrific nuclear war.

And the punchline: "Let's #BuyTwitter and delete Trump's account before he starts a nuclear war with it. The whole world will thank us when we do!"

Plame's pitch is simple: raise enough cash to buy a controlling interest of Twitter stock. If, on the "odd chance" Plame is unable to raise enough to purchase a majority of shares, she said she will explore options to buy “a significant stake” and champion the proposal at Twitter’s annual shareholder meeting.

Considering that her campaign's stated goal is only $1 billion, a (very) minority stake is the best the former CIA agent can hope for. As of Wednesday, a majority stake would cost just over $6 billion (TWTR's market cap is $12.33 billion). Still, a billion dollars of TWTR shares would make her Twitter’s largest shareholder (or rather bagholder) and give her a dominant "activist" position to exert influence on the company. Of course, whether kicking Trump off Twitter is worth the hassle is a different question, especially since anyone who wishes not to follow Trump can do so for free.

Another problem is that almost a week into the campaign, it has raised just under $8,000, meaning it is about $999,992,000 shy of its lofty goal.

The White House responded to the campaign, and in a statement to the AP, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said the low total shows that the American people like the president’s use of Twitter. "Her ridiculous attempt to shut down his first amendment is the only clear violation and expression of hate and intolerance in this equation," the White House read.

As a reminder, Plame’s identity as a CIA operative was leaked by an official in former President George W. Bush’s administration in 2003 in an effort to discredit her husband, Joe Wilson, a former diplomat who criticized Bush’s decision to invade Iraq. She left the agency in 2005.

Some cynics have dared to speculate that Plame's campaign is just a (not so) veiled attempt to regain social and media prominence. It is unclear if their Twitter accounts will also be banned by the up and coming CEO. It's also unclear what happens to the raised cash once the campaign fails to reach its target, although we are confident Jill Stein has some ideas...

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Killtruck's picture

That's pretty much the level of logic I would expect from a CIA plan.

NidStyles's picture

Let them do it, he will find another platform.

NotApplicable's picture

Better yet, fedgov will be forced to claim that Twitter is a "public utility" and thus be subject to regulation to enforce anti-discrimination policies.

Erek's picture

How much more stupid is this shit going to get?

Sanity Bear's picture

There is no upper limit.

Ghost of PartysOver's picture

Now if you have ever wondered about how the Deep State feels about Trump this should clear things up a bit.

SafelyGraze's picture

I searched for valerie plame but all I found was her wedding to norma watts


Haus-Targaryen's picture

Who would the shareholders be? 

mtl4's picture

It's the new get rich quick model, suck the left dry on social media.

El Vaquero's picture

That was my thought.  She's probably thinking along these lines:

God Emperor's picture

Twitter WAS a CIA endeavor.

It failed miserably.

Still... the tribesters continue to use it to further their agenda.

Here’s How the Jews and ADL Won the Battle of Charlottesville


peddling-fiction's picture

No such thing as an ex-CIA agent.

BabaLooey's picture

Nice going sugar tits.

Now everyone thinks you're stupid as a fucking cow.

Bravo........................dumb ass.

fleur de lis's picture

Typical CIA moron.

After all the big, fat, cash payoffs, the harsh days in front of the camera, the MSM intrusion into her private life,  the public discussion of her professional life, she still has not learned a basic lesson about low profiles and keeping her mouth shut.

And she absolutely can not stay off the radar.

She just loves that radar.

If this is what the CIA is made of they should hire high school dropouts.

Same level of intelligence.

SilverRhino's picture

The funny part is that if Trump switched to MeWe or Ello he would instantly catapult UP the next major social platform.


sheikurbootie's picture

Exactly, that's why liberals are truly retarded.  Trump doesn't need "twitter" to broadcast his messages to the people.  He use any other of multiple socials or even start his own.  Liberals are simply stupid!

I'll add that if Twitter were to drop Trump, the wrath of the Donald would be epic.  Twitter would be sued into oblivion.

Remember Rule #1- Don't fuck with Donald Trump.

AllBentOutOfShape's picture

Yes there is, if your only job was to fuck people for information.  Being in her 50's, her "use-by" date has long been expired.

It would be more accurate to call her an ex-CIA whore.

Chupacabra-322's picture

@ Peddling,

As much as I despise the Pure Evil War Criminal Treasonous Seditious Psychopaths at the CIA I'd be hard pressed not to hit that or Kill it.

Nah, Fuck it.

Absolutely NO Safe Qaurter.

Tick tock MotherFuckers....

WillyGroper's picture

i'd venture to think she's caught up in some "let them eat yellow cake"...get back joe joe.

she was less indignant at being outed.

dizzying heights of absurdity.

JRobby's picture

It should work out exactly as she plans as long as Dick Cheney isn't around............

hardmedicine's picture

HMMMM,  you're giving me ideas........... I like the way you are thinking.

Let's crowd fund a trip around the world on horse driven gold carriage for donald trump!!! HAHA. yeah, or let's crowd fund a send donald trump to the moon!!!  or better yet, to VENUS. yeah!!  

El Oregonian's picture

I would say there is a good portion of the profits that will be diverted to Valerie's plastic surgeon. As I recall she was one fugly CIA agent when she was called out and exposed. From where she was at looks-wise, up until now, it must of cost her big, big bucks.

You can try and fix the outside, but the inside is STILL FUGLY!

Ghost of Porky's picture

Can't wait to read her memoir: "Blown Cover: How I Blew More Iranian Generals Than The Entire Iraqi Artillery"

Never One Roach's picture

Her psychiatrist is disappointed his therapy of her Libtard disease was a failure.

TwelveOhOne's picture

I'm sure her husband is just as proud of her sacrifice.

auricle's picture

Why not use the proceeds from the heroin sales?

MillionDollarButter's picture

Cheney's retaliation against her husband's debunking the yellow cake lie is why she is famous now.  The neocons jumping ship to the Democrats should have been a clue to her.

Bendromeda Strain's picture

Richard Armitage did not work for Cheney. You must watch a lot of television.

Gazooks's picture

maybe not directly under Dick



but had the balls to lie for him



Phoenix operative and globalist

MillionDollarButter's picture

Irving Lewis Liebowitz Jr. did.  You must cheer every neocon war that comes your way.

Never One Roach's picture

I remember her comin gout to bash Obama's slaughter of millions of brown and black people in the middle east and africa.



WillyGroper's picture

that was theater for peep consumption.

401K of Dooom's picture

Is that Frank Carlucci looking at Val?

Blackfox's picture

Valerie plame is decended from a Rabbi according to her Wiki page - shocked....

Manthong's picture


Why can’t some of these deep state washouts just go away?

Bubba Rum Das's picture

Valerie Plame needs to show her tits & get into itty bitty tittie porn...

mtl4's picture

Worked for Kim, next stop reality TV.

Tiwin's picture

I have come to  believe ALL of anything in presidential politics is now "reality " tv in the Trump Age. all scripted all the time for entertainment/distraction value.

Yesterdays outrage over Mondays warpig fest is all but forgotten on the teevees.Or was there any outrage MSMwise to start with? I dunno -no teevee 15 years now here, but the ZH board seemed a bit less appreciative of our actor -in-cheif yesterday...sigh...

Wow aint that Valerie chick hott???? Arent all women on teevee?

Juggernaut x2's picture

I would still tongue-punch her old fart box.

Fake Trump's picture

Clit will be better than tits.

A Likely Story's picture

Trump has already set the bar.  Nobody will get over it.

cheech_wizard's picture

How vast is the universe?

TwelveOhOne's picture

The single spoken phrase that brought everything into existence?  Fairly, I'd say...

Kenny Drebson's picture

proof that money has absolutely NO value.