Angry Hillary Blames Everything From Bernie Sanders To "There's Something About Mary" For 2016 Loss

Tyler Durden's picture

Though Hillary's book of excuses, entitled "What Happened," won't be released until September 12th, a newly revealed excerpt shows that, after 229 pages dedicated to blaming everything from Trump to Russian hackers, racism, misogyny, etc, by page 230 she finally gets around to blaming Bernie Sanders.  Actually, if you review the following very powerful paragraph closely enough you'll notice that Hillary is able to succinctly blame Bernie, Obama and her entire 2016 campaign staff in just a couple of sentences. 

"Throughout the primaries, every time I wanted to hit back against Bernie's attacks, I was told to restrain myself.  Noting that his plans didn't add up, that they would inevitably mean raising taxes on middle-class families, or that they were little more than a pipe dream - all of this could be used to reinforce his argument that I wasn't a true progressive.  My team kept reminding me that we didn't want to alienate Bernie's supporters.  President Obama urged me to grit my teeth and lay off Bernie as much as I could.  I felt like I was in a straightjacket."


Not surprisingly, according to further insights from CNN, Hillary goes on to point out that Bernie's supporters, much like Trump's, were only motivated by's just obvious really.

She said that his attacks against her during the primary caused "lasting damage" and paved the way for "(Donald) Trump's 'Crooked Hillary' campaign."


Clinton, in a book that will be released September 12 entitled "What Happened," said Sanders "had to resort to innuendo and impugning my character" because the two Democrats "agreed on so much."


"Some of his supporters, the so-called Bernie Bros, took to harassing my supporters online. It got ugly and more than a little sexist," she wrote.


"When I finally challenged Bernie during a debate to name a single time I changed a position or a vote because of a financial contribution, he couldn't come up with anything," Clinton wrote. "Nonetheless, his attacks caused lasting damage, making it harder to unify progressives in the general election and paving the way for Trump's 'Crooked Hillary' campaign."

Sure, it wasn't her laundry list of personal scandals that caused Trump's "Crooked Hillary" campaign to stick...nope, it was Bernie that created that monster.

Finally, just when you thought you'd heard every excuse imaginable, Hillary takes her 'blame game' to a whole new level by viciously calling out the movie "There's Something About Mary" for her 2016 defeat.

She noted that Jake Sullivan, her top policy aide, told her that Sanders' campaign strategy reminded him of a scene from the movie "There's Something About Mary," where a hitchhiker says he has a plan to roll out seven-minute abs to top the famous eight-minute abs.


"Why, why not six-minutes abs?" Ben Stiller's character asks.


Clinton wrote: "That's what it was like in policy debates with Bernie. We would promise a bold infrastructure investment plan or an ambitious new apprenticeship program for young people, and then Bernie would announce basically the same thing, but bigger. On issue after issue, it was like he kept promising four-minute abs, or even no-minutes abs. Magic abs!"

For those who missed it, here is the scene from "There's Something About Mary" that apparently tanked Hillary's shot at the White House...

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Dilluminati's picture

Nope she's a ridiculous cunt

Handful of Dust's picture

Her last book was a best seller on the fake New York Slime list: “Charitable Foundation Embezzlement for Dummies."


I am not sure how many will read this one. In fact, I am not sure how many of her supporters read English.


TahoeBilly2012's picture

Normally the crazy ones are kinda hot, but in this case. RUN!

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Why isn't she complaining about the size of her 8x10' jailcell yet?????

jcaz's picture

Warms me a little to think she'll live out her days spiraling deeper and deeper into her insanity....

Bes's picture

just when ZH had more important shit to talk about

they talk about non-issues

like Hillary bitching

she lost

it's over

moving on

or would you rather not focus on the

zio-goldman neocon FED-loving

MIC building, police state growing

bubble economy pumping

president and congress???


Arnold's picture

Bes, Bes, Bes...
I see you missed your 'Education with a Stick' class.

JSBach1's picture

"I felt like I was in a straightjacket."

Whoa there, isn't that a sexist statement?

A fitting image nonetheless...

konadog's picture

Just her fantasy while Barry watches and Manchelle gives it to her with all 18 inches of his Wookie dick.

Implied Violins's picture

I just blew my mind trying to imagine what an LGBT jacket would look like...but I bet it has lots of holes and extra straps.

cheeseheader's picture

And don't forget thd Nehru 'commie' collar....

J Jason Djfmam's picture

Shoulda been a straightpantsuit.

Supafly's picture

Fuck her and her retrospective analysis, obviously put together by anybody but her, since she always does the right thing.  She needs a straightjacket alright, if for nothing but to keep her from texting her next hit.  

AllBentOutOfShape's picture

She basically admitted to discussing campaign strategy with Obama to use against Sanders. How is that not a form of collusion?

Blue Steel 309's picture

Bes is a Jew or a Shabbos Goy, if I am generous. I didn't even know what a Jew was except a normal person with a different religion 3 years ago, and I have some decades of experience.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it, but it is best to keep an open mind so not all patterns look like a Merchant.

Occidental Observer lays it all out, the rest is in plain view in their own words, requiring no "conspiracy theory".

toady's picture

Right.... like all the antifa Hillary supporters have "moved on"....

jcaz's picture

Poor Bes- a 15 week member and still confused......  

CNN is over on the LEFT, sweetie.

oDumbo's picture

Silly evil cunt.  Of all the deep dark holes in the world, why aren't any of them in front of her when she passes out in public?  Why???

HopefulCynic's picture

It is just for fun. Get wih the program will you?!

JRobby's picture

Now that her mental illness is on full display for so many to see, the magnitude of the bullet dodged becomes larger and larger in scale.

NoDebt's picture

That's the damned truth right there.  The best part is she's only going to get nuttier as the years roll on.  This loss is going to stick in her mind like a little shard of glass that she can't get out no matter what she does and it's going to finally drive her completely batshit crazy.  

I'm looking forward to the part where she claims to be Henry VIII on Oprah.  I could wish for a Bud Dwyer-type ending but that's just too much to ask for.


Pernicious Gold Phallusy's picture

I'd prefer a Wes Craven-type ending.

Lost My Shorts's picture

Hey, go easy on the old gal.  The same sort of thing happened to me when I tried out for the dodgers.  I looked bad at the plate because the guy was throwing too fast!  If he had just thrown the ball more slowly, they would have recognized me as the best hitter in baseball.

Fritz's picture

The hipocracy of Clinton saying she got fucked over by Bernie is an alternate-universe form of mental illness.

DanDaley's picture

I think it's tertiary syphilis.

Mr.BlingBling's picture

Same with McCain, who was the Repub nominee not too long ago. On Day One of his term that maniac would have been pounding 'the button' wirh an empty liquor bottle.

Yog Soggoth's picture

Just perused the dumped Huma emails, and the one that really stuck out was the Podesta orphanage in Guatemala( that is the name, for real). They knew beforehand that it was going to be raided, and were discussing how to protect the American adopters staying/living in Antigua. The other emails are eye opening too. If convicted in the US, would Trump allow her to be extradited to other countries for more charges?

konadog's picture

Priceless. George was the best.

Banana Republican's picture

Personally, I hope she runs again in 2020.

Blue Boat's picture

Terry McAuliffe is a boot-licking slimeball hack who sports extra cushy kneepads and the biggest jar of vaseline you've EVER seen.

In other words, the Clintons love him!!


NoDebt's picture

"Personally, I hope she runs again in 2020."

Agreed.  Voting her down never gets old.


KimAsa's picture

Let Cabbage Cunt run all day long. She'll never be president of anything except her own ugly ego.

DJ Angela: What's something you always carry in your bag?

HRC: Hot Sauce

DJ Envy: Really?? People are gonna starting thinking you're pandering to black people.

HRC: Is it working?

Pandering bitch.

peippe's picture


she should keep walkng in the woods till she winds up 

posed like that character from 'The Shining", you know the one, 

looking up at the sky glowering with rage.  

Happy Winter you dumb bitch! 

Beowulf55's picture

Yes...why isn't she in a 8x10 cell?   Oh, that's right Jeff Sessions is to busy going after marijuana smokers because marijuana is an opiate....


SERIOUSLY...........LOCK THE CUNT UP.........

oncefired's picture

You think she deserves 8'x10'?

DontNeedNoStinkinUsername's picture

Seems like far too much room to me . . . . though I guess it all depends on the height of it. I think most ppl would be happy to see her in a 8' x 10' x 3'

Withdrawn Sanction's picture

Funny how this time last year everyone was talking about her health (or lack of it). Coughing fits, being man-handled into the Suburbans, etc. I guess she got better. Good for her. Sanity's a bit slower on the mend.

Not to be impertinent, but could it be that shrill, mean-spirited, shrew just wasn't very appealing to most Americans?

buttmint's picture

...imagine for one horrific second if YOU were tasked to eat Hillary's pussy!

It'd be akin to peeling apart a grilled cheese sammich---all dry, stinky and yeeeech!

ZeroLounger's picture

Alright....I have debated putting in words a dream I had a couple of months ago, and looking at the comments on this thread, it's either now, or never....So, here goes: (warning:  GRAPHIC CONTENT! You may be TRIGGERED!  If you have a weak stomach, please downvote and move on!!)


Angela Merkel, myself, and Hillary Clinton were in an automobile. Merkel was driving, and Clinton and I were in the back seat, her on the left, myself on the right. I don't know why 'I' was there, I must have been an aide, or something. Merkel turns around as she's driving, and begins to play with Hillary's clit.  The thing became aroused and was about 1/8 inch diameter and 3 inches long.  Hillary and I started 'touching' each other.  As she became more aroused, her vagina 'prolapsed', and it turned into something like a sea anemone, with its tentacles flailing around in the air.  As she was about to orgasm, the whole thing sank inside her body about 2 or 3 inches, and you could look into it and see a dark, smelly bile.  When she came, the bile was ejected from her vagina onto my face and body, causing me to vomit.  (END OF DREAM)

(Some of the psychology:  They have power and needs and can do what they want, when they want, to who they want?)


Fucking Disgusting, huh?

Max Cynical's picture

She has absolutely ZERO self awareness.

Jimmy Jimmereeno's picture

Yes, you got it 100% right.  She has no self, therefore she has no self awareness.  She has rejected reason, therefore, she cannot discern that causes have effects.  Ergo, she is not responsible for her actions and her political losses.  But Donald Trump, misogynists, deplorable US citizens, the FBI [sic], and finally the socialist wimp Bernie Sanders are individually or collectively responsible for her losing the 2016 presidential election.  One must ask, why after her humiliating electoral loss is this woman writing a book to rationalize the loss and why does she get an iota of public exposure?  To wit:  why were we not subject to rationalizations from John McCain, Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney - all losers?

Contrary to some observations (mine included), Clinton is not just a pathological liar.  She is psychotic:  suffering delusions or hallucinations that indicate impaired contact with reality.

I'd say it's time for the Tylers and the rest of the media to stop giving the woman press exposure.  Best to let time heal all wounds:  open all evidentiary facts to public examination, declare a special independent legal investigative counsel [edit sp] and let it either exonerate or incriminate her.

Stroke's picture

"Kinda hot".....I got one,...a hot damsel in distress. Only thing ,

When you rescue a damsel in distress, the prize is a distressed damsel

; mmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmm

BennyBoy's picture


What bimbo is Bill banging now?