Friday Humor: Hillary Working On Second Book Casting Blame For Failure Of First

Tyler Durden's picture

Fact or Fiction:

CHAPPAQUA, NY - Saying it would provide a candid account of her experiences writing an unsuccessful tell-all, sources confirmed Thursday that Hillary Clinton is already working on a follow-up book casting blame for the failures of her previous memoir What Happened.

 

 

“From my agent negotiating that underwhelming deal with Simon & Schuster, to the graphic designer’s lackluster cover art, to my so-called supporters who couldn’t be bothered to drop $17.99 for the hardcover copy - everyone had a hand in undermining my last book’s success,” reads a passage from the introduction to Clinton’s What Also Happened, which repeatedly decries her prior book’s “indecipherable” font and dedicates an entire chapter to lashing out at her copy editor for making her look like “an idiot third-grader.”

 

“I’ll never forget how Amazon buried me and how Barnes & Noble completely sabotaged me by displaying my book way in the back in that no man’s land by the CDs. Frankly, it’s obvious I got screwed on all sides.”

 

 

Accusing them of stealing her spotlight, the book reportedly concludes with a long list of every other celebrity who published a memoir in the past year.

Source: The Onion

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PitBullsRule's picture

She's cashing in her chips, getting enough to retire before she fades away.

Looney's picture

 

Is the new book a Paperback, a Hardcover, or a Pantsuit Cover?   ;-)

Looney

TeamDepends's picture

We're All Swinging From Nooses, What Happened?

CuttingEdge's picture

If it has sleeves it is most likely the latter, Looney.

Creepy_Azz_Crackaah's picture

It's past time that it had The Big One (seizure).

knukles's picture

She'd place second in the "World's Biggest Loser Contest".

I honestly hope the Reptilian inside her who had the stroke is OK
Say ..... did anybody ever notice if she had those same scars on her head as Obama?  There's a rumor going about that the scars are the zippers where the Reptilians get in and out of their human onesies. 

peddling-fiction's picture

Has she lost faith in spirit cooking?

Maybe sacrifice a chicken to Moloch in her backyard?

Maybe her demons are starting to cash in on all that wickedness.

To the pit with the witch.

nope-1004's picture

.... to my so-called supporters who couldn’t be bothered to drop $17.99 for the hardcover copy - everyone had a hand in undermining my last book’s success......

Arrogant.

Selfish.

Entitled.

Narcissist.

Self-centered.

Egomaniacal.

and

ARROGANT.

MillionDollarButter's picture

What Happened:

• Hollywood celebrities shilled for her. 
• The entire Mainstream Media shilled for her. 
• Multi national banks supported her. 
• Mega Corporations supported her. 
• The Advertising Industry supported her.
• The Military Industrial Complex supported her. 
• She spent millions to hire social media promoters. 
• Muslim Nations gave her millions. 
• The Internet companies supported her. 
• George Soros supported her. 
• The FBI and the DoJ conspired to help her. 
• The DNC rigged the primaries for her. 
• #NeverTrump supported her. 
• Black Lives Matter supported her. 
• Feminists supported her. 
• The GOP establishment supported her. 
• Leaders of foreign nations supported her. 
• Bernie Sanders shilled for her. 
• President Obama shilled for her. 
• All of the living former presidents supported her. 
• Her serious health problems were covered up. 
• People were murdered on her behalf. 
• They rigged the debates for her. 
• They used voter fraud to help her. 
• The polls were always in her favor. 
• She spent $500,000 a day on advertising. 
• She spent over $1.3 BILLION on her campaign. 
• Everyone expected her to win. 
• Newsweek printed a special victory issue for her. 
• She threatened Electoral College Voters. 
• Many states were forced to do a recount...
• AND SHE STILL LOST!!! 

nope-1004's picture

Second place is, theoretically, first loser.

 

SaulAzzHoleSky's picture

Well really she came in second and Trump came in next to last. What is she complaining about?

Sudden Debt's picture

I blame her supporters to. THAT DUMBASS LOSERS!!

Escrava Isaura's picture

You ain’t see nothin yet.

Hillary’s 313rd book: What Happened? I am still here.

 

smacker's picture

She may still be ((here)) but nobody knows where ((here)) is.

Was Vol 313 written from her secure gated community, ie prison? Where she should be.

jmack's picture

Dammit Man, I think you just won the interwebs.

StychoKiller's picture

So, it was those pesky Rooskies all along!! :>D

WillyGroper's picture

this humiliation might even be worse.

helliary's new snopes equivalent...veritt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpGsrIEZURQ

847328_3527's picture

The Forward is written by her neurologist.

jmack's picture

yes, but who wrote the foreword?

Pool Shark's picture

In one generation we've gone from:

"The winners write the history"

to:

"The losers write the history"

Mustafa Kemal's picture

There are exeptions. Losers wrote the history of the Mongols

jmack's picture

Hillary is not under indictment, much less in jail. How is she a loser exactly?

webmatex's picture

Because in popularity she loses to Adolf Hitler.

GunnerySgtHartman's picture

Definitely not digital, because she might wipe the server with a cloth or something.

brockhardman's picture

The source is the Onion, however, they need to be really careful to make sure their stories stay way out there.  This one is actually believable...

all-priced-in's picture

At this point what difference does it make.

peddling-fiction's picture

Just burn the witch and be done with it.

No Time for Fishing's picture

It has been tried multiple times but witches don't burn. 

Nona Yobiznes's picture

Based on what I'm seeing, she's looking at running again. This is by no means the end of the Clinton shit show. This book, proclaiming herself a leader in "the Resistance", the fact that no Democrat has emerged to party prominence, and the launch of the pathetic Verrit website dedicated to the "65 million" people who voted for her - she's putting all the pieces in place. I have little doubt she's going to fail given an honest election, but it's highly unfortunate this despicable human being refuses to call it quits and is going to be stuffing herself down our throats yet again.

True Blue's picture

Human skin obviously.

garcam123's picture

Nah.....comes in sand-paper coated rolls.....you think the cunt is gonna let you get away without a sore asshole?

The greatest well deserved laughingstock of HISTORY!

Somebody get this cunt some fentanyl.......LOTS!

We need for it to pass from memory!

Like Diarrea!

HRClinton's picture

Will contribute to crowd-sourcing to her houseboat, docked in Miami this weekend.

Lumberjack's picture

Remember that old Aesops fable about the dog? She keeps looking in the mirror and...

Singelguy's picture

You mean to tell me that $100 billion isn't enough to retire on? Damn! Inflation is worse than I thought!

Singelguy's picture

You mean to tell me that $100 billion isn't enough to retire on? Damn! Inflation is worse than I thought!

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Name someone who whines more than this bitch.

migra's picture

I think she is going to blame the failures of her first book on the second book. 

HardlyZero's picture

Needs to bring in a related co-author to describe details; hey Lois Lerner (lowest learner?) is available, and from the same swamp.

vulcanraven's picture

Reality of the matter is, her voting base simply didn't Pokemon-go-to-the-polls.

847328_3527's picture

Barry and his pet wookie hate the Clintons. I am 98% sure Soweeto and the wookie, with their other pets, Jarrett, Mills, etc,  are behind the leaks that destroyed any meager chance cankles had.

Consuelo's picture

 

 

That 'hate' is definitely what has been proferred/sold to the public - and much of it may in fact, be true, but...   Those two are in on the gang-bang every bit as well, so back to square #1.   

Which is: If one goes down, they all go down.    And therein lies the brilliance of the Clinton $Co-opting machine for the past 30+ years, going all the way back to 1800 Center St. Little Rock, AR...

Boxed Merlot's picture

...therein lies the brilliance of the Clinton $Co-opting machine...

This is nothing new. Much like the ecclesiastico-politico Roman power that followed the "Fall of the Roman Empire", this dying edifice of illusion counts on trying to subordinate otherwise legitimate threats to their perceived power before their unleashing the "Samson solution" when the inevitable disrobing begins.

"...Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops..." -- Jesus, as recorded by Luke, twelfth chapter, verse 3. (NKJV)

jmf

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Rhetorical question: did she ever manage to grow up?

chrsn's picture

It's not just her supporters that have an oversized sense of entitlement

HRClinton's picture

Re... "Name someone who whines more than this bitch."

a JAP (Jewish-American Princess)

See Sheik Yerbouti for details... https://youtu.be/8uZzpzABLEE

Or...

https://youtu.be/8jEK5zdMExc

https://youtu.be/jN7rLHL6X_I