What Happened To "What Happened": Amazon Slashes Hillary's Book Price 40% Before It Hits Shelves

Tyler Durden's picture

Last Friday, in an attempt at humor, we shared a satirical note from The Onion suggesting that Hillary had already begun work on a follow-up book, entitled "What Also Happened," intended to define precisely who was to blame for the failure of her first book, "What Happened."

Alas, if prices are any indicator of demand, which they're pretty much universally accepted to be unless you're discussing minimum wages with Bernie Sanders, then Hillary may want to double down on efforts to rush out the sequel as both Amazon and Walmart have decided to slash prices of "What Happened" by 40% before the books even hit shelves.

After Hillary's publisher Simon and Schuster suggested a price of $30, Amazon slashed prices to $17.99 earlier today...


...and Walmart quickly matched...


Of course, the reviews have already started to pour into Amazon even though no one has a copy of the book yet.  Isaac apparently hated the book because he's tired of hearing Hillary "blame her failure on sexism."

"What happened is she can not take responsibility for many of her own actions and blames her failure on sexism.


Ironically, it's things like this that cause people on the fence go to the other side just to spite her."


Meanwhile, DirtBird thought the book was great...at balancing out his uneven table...


Finally, for those who are interested in what Hillary has to say in "What Happened" but just don't have time to read a book right now, we found this summary to be a fairly accurate portrayal:


* * *

For those who missed it, here is The Onion's uncanny prediction of Hillary's latest failure from last Friday...

Fact or Fiction:

CHAPPAQUA, NY - Saying it would provide a candid account of her experiences writing an unsuccessful tell-all, sources confirmed Thursday that Hillary Clinton is already working on a follow-up book casting blame for the failures of her previous memoir What Happened.



“From my agent negotiating that underwhelming deal with Simon & Schuster, to the graphic designer’s lackluster cover art, to my so-called supporters who couldn’t be bothered to drop $17.99 for the hardcover copy - everyone had a hand in undermining my last book’s success,” reads a passage from the introduction to Clinton’s What Also Happened, which repeatedly decries her prior book’s “indecipherable” font and dedicates an entire chapter to lashing out at her copy editor for making her look like “an idiot third-grader.”


“I’ll never forget how Amazon buried me and how Barnes & Noble completely sabotaged me by displaying my book way in the back in that no man’s land by the CDs. Frankly, it’s obvious I got screwed on all sides.”



Accusing them of stealing her spotlight, the book reportedly concludes with a long list of every other celebrity who published a memoir in the past year.

Source: The Onion

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YUNOSELL's picture

Like fiat currency being overprinted, people know the true value of lies and fake news propaganda. She should be paying us to drudge through her 400 pages of BS. Even with 40% off it's still far too expensive

GUS100CORRINA's picture

What Happened To "What Happened": Amazon Slashes Hillary's Book Price 40% Before It Hits Shelves

My response: They would have to PAY ME a lot of money to take this BOOK and BURN IT!

The truly sad fact about America is that there are MILLIONS of stupid Americans who will buy this book and probably present it to their CHILDREN as an example of GOOD LITERATURE form a SUCCESSFUL WOMAN in POLITICS. Truly makes me sick to think about it.

MillionDollarButter's picture

My pork smoker has a long list of Qurans to get through before I have any time for these...

And to quote my newest friend: "And nothing of value was lost."

vato poco's picture

see, now that's just bad marketing. 

the careers of robert service and charles bukowski have shown that there IS a market for the random drunken literary meanderings of alcoholic writers/poets. they just need to re-brand that horrible ugly bitch is all. 

start by spreading rumors that she collapsed last year "because she was drunk". that'll get the ball rolling; then release some 'candid' drunken hillary photos; 'book tour' visits to Skid Row and Bowery dive bars .... and you're off to the races!

Linus2011's picture

tales from the crypt äh cunt?

jcaz's picture

Now she's moved on to killing trees......

Kotzbomber747's picture

Imagine that, $14,99 for the Kindle edition, and you can't even put on the coffee table to impress your neocon friends with or rip out pages to wipe ("like with a cloth?") your ass.

83_vf_1100_c's picture

If you are in Venezuela in the weeks after release when they start dumping these books for a dollar with Amazon Prime, the toilet paper crisis is solved.  I can imagine the number of people who read that book will be in the tens. There is so much great fiction to be read, fuck a hillary book.  The whole book deal is just some back door payoff for favors rendered.

ufos8mycow's picture

I accidentally pre-ordered it because I thought it was a book about Rerun.

But I suppose if you count the two elections it is about Rerun. Not the good one though.

beemasters's picture

I wouldn't be worried for the Clintons. The books were never meant for public consumption, in the first place. They are usually bought by some entities to settle unpaid bribes- laundering at its best.
40% off before hitting the shelves just means the payment has been received.

hxc's picture

Very prescient. Easy to forget these things

greenskeeper carl's picture

Reminds me of the new ghostbusters movie full of fat, ugly women. Before it even hit theaters every single toy and movie item was slashed like 75%. I think it still has the record for most downvotes of any YouTube video, and that's even with a well documented manipulation of voting and comments on that video.

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Book title has a typo, it's not "What Happened" it's "What Happened?".

You are asking a question Hillary not providing answers.

Money Boo Boo's picture

I'd have trouble paying $17.99 to watch her punch herself unconscious on pay per view.

TwelveOhOne's picture

Robocop was ahead of its time.

Automatic Choke's picture

as was "Brazil", "1984", and "Atlas Shrugged".      the trick is to know which of the old classics will turn true next.......


Snotweasel's picture

"Brave New World" came to mind, but it already has turned true

giovanni_f's picture

What is happend, that is the question.

Idaho potato head's picture

I wouldn't disgrace my beloved bird's cage with that trash.

JB Say's picture

Who did she even imagine was going to read that shit?

garcam123's picture

I'd wipe my ass with pages from her book, that's about it.....free!

Fuckin worthless piece of protoplasm.......like a brain eating ameoba

yvhmer's picture

Poor ass. It's called animal abuse! ;-)

SoDamnMad's picture

Harvey victims found you couldn't use it as a life preserver to float on the water, it won't burn to warm you up and it smelled like shit even before the storm struck.

DrData02's picture

No. This was gold and wonderful happens.

Handful of Dust's picture

I'm glad she confirmed her insanity in writing.

penryn's picture

That article explains so much about progressives.

kiwidor's picture

ah, you fixed it.  i figured there was a missing question-mark in the title.   


HardAssets's picture

- delete-

Someone beat me to the punch line

SafelyGraze's picture

her follow-up is titled "his name was seth rich"

it will be a milion-seller

followed by her follow-up-follow-up "his name was vince foster"

the podestas 

wildbad's picture

cheap at twice the price


That fucking pile of lies on paper won't sell until it is priced cheaper than firewood. 

NumNutt's picture

I would rather have firewood.....

TeamDepends's picture

Yeah, probably couldn't light it without some bleachbit.

insanelysane's picture

Follow up is titled, "We Should Have Seth Riched Jim Comey".

Theta_Burn's picture

Even at a deep discount does anybody give a shit?

drendebe10's picture

Hahahahahaha. Fukdat traitorous lying cheating corrupt get outta jail free dried up withered nasty twat.

PlayMoney's picture

That is gonna read like a scratched chalk board.

Uncle Sugar's picture

Imagine the audio book? Great substitute for waterboarding at Gitmo

joep3joep3's picture

What Happened to What Happened Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha  He he he he         WHO CARES      Trump 2020

subversion's picture

Yeah, someone needs a timeout....in an orange jumper. But it doesn't look like that is going to happen anytime soon.

Eyes Opened's picture

She came...

She saw....

She LIED....

BTW I'd pay $30 for that poster....  

serotonindumptruck's picture

United we stand, divided we rule.

Panic Mode's picture

I won't piss on it even she pays me.

There will be so many unsold copies. Even the paper is too hard to replace toilet paper.

Shitonya Serfs's picture

I'd buy it, if the cover was a still pic of her laying on the ground last year at the 9/11 event (missing shoe and all)...and the book was a discussion of What Happened.

khnum's picture

Id rather read the Quoran-less psychological disturbance

buzzsaw99's picture

she can't do anyone any favors anymore.