What Happened To "What Happened": Amazon Slashes Hillary's Book Price 40% Before It Hits Shelves

Tyler Durden's picture

Last Friday, in an attempt at humor, we shared a satirical note from The Onion suggesting that Hillary had already begun work on a follow-up book, entitled "What Also Happened," intended to define precisely who was to blame for the failure of her first book, "What Happened."

Alas, if prices are any indicator of demand, which they're pretty much universally accepted to be unless you're discussing minimum wages with Bernie Sanders, then Hillary may want to double down on efforts to rush out the sequel as both Amazon and Walmart have decided to slash prices of "What Happened" by 40% before the books even hit shelves.

After Hillary's publisher Simon and Schuster suggested a price of $30, Amazon slashed prices to $17.99 earlier today...

 

...and Walmart quickly matched...

 

Of course, the reviews have already started to pour into Amazon even though no one has a copy of the book yet.  Isaac apparently hated the book because he's tired of hearing Hillary "blame her failure on sexism."

"What happened is she can not take responsibility for many of her own actions and blames her failure on sexism.

 

Ironically, it's things like this that cause people on the fence go to the other side just to spite her."

 

Meanwhile, DirtBird thought the book was great...at balancing out his uneven table...

 

Finally, for those who are interested in what Hillary has to say in "What Happened" but just don't have time to read a book right now, we found this summary to be a fairly accurate portrayal:

Hillary

* * *

For those who missed it, here is The Onion's uncanny prediction of Hillary's latest failure from last Friday...

Fact or Fiction:

CHAPPAQUA, NY - Saying it would provide a candid account of her experiences writing an unsuccessful tell-all, sources confirmed Thursday that Hillary Clinton is already working on a follow-up book casting blame for the failures of her previous memoir What Happened.

 

 

“From my agent negotiating that underwhelming deal with Simon & Schuster, to the graphic designer’s lackluster cover art, to my so-called supporters who couldn’t be bothered to drop $17.99 for the hardcover copy - everyone had a hand in undermining my last book’s success,” reads a passage from the introduction to Clinton’s What Also Happened, which repeatedly decries her prior book’s “indecipherable” font and dedicates an entire chapter to lashing out at her copy editor for making her look like “an idiot third-grader.”

 

“I’ll never forget how Amazon buried me and how Barnes & Noble completely sabotaged me by displaying my book way in the back in that no man’s land by the CDs. Frankly, it’s obvious I got screwed on all sides.”

 

 

Accusing them of stealing her spotlight, the book reportedly concludes with a long list of every other celebrity who published a memoir in the past year.

Source: The Onion

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Umh's picture

I am sorry that your life has such low highs.

Catahoula's picture

Pathetic reprobate 

Anunnaki's picture

These stories are like porn

Anunnaki's picture

Whine Kampf as a title would have sold more copies

Publicus_Reanimated's picture

Am I the only one who remembers the suppressed Hillary health scandal?  Nobody, I mean NOBODY has followed up on that.  What drugs is she on and why?  Inquiring minds want to know.

tnquake's picture

I have it on "good" authority that they are sending 1 million

wait for it,

wait for it,

copies to Haiti, Florida, and the Virgin Islands.

Gives the people in shelters something to read or use for wiping!

redmudhooch's picture

I hear the new Reasons to vote democrat book is gonna be twice as long, but the pages all still empty.

When is the Republican version coming? It will probably just have no pages at all inside.

Don't worry Hillary, Satan likes you, Enjoy hell bitch!

redmudhooch's picture

Everyone, The Clintons ask that you send ALL donations for Irma, Harvey, Mexican Earthquake, etc. to the Clinton Foundation.

She will make sure it get to the poor people.

Anunnaki's picture

Happy 1 year Anniversary to the end of Hellary Clinton's Presidemtial hopes

I watched her be rolled up into the vanbulance just like watching the Zapruder film

https://youtu.be/4MR-YHVLjZI

dlweld's picture

Shame to have her delusional version of events out in the public record to be archived and read and studied as gospel years from now - some brave Zero Hedger should hold his or her nose and do a fully annotated copy - a copy that refutes and points out inconvenient facts and keeps the record straight.

CRM114's picture

Already published - see Kindle.

Parodies, analysis of her excuses; lots to choose from!

Celotex's picture

Leftie schools and colleges will buy multiple copies at full price for their libraries.

Anderson Coopers Gerbil's picture

I,m waiting for the scratch and sniff addition thats hitting shelves just before Ramadan

Herdee's picture

Bill's sexual escapades drove her looney-tunes. Coo-Coo.

southpaw47's picture

Chicken or the egg? Who in their right mind could blame Billy for meandering? She came first then the escapades.

VegasBob's picture

An expensive package of toilet paper at any price...

Handful of Dust's picture
New Hillary Website Backfires Big Time - ???? - Now Complete Laughing Stock Even to Liberals!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpGsrIEZURQ

 

Anunnaki's picture

"Let's check in with the Washington (com) Post"

pparalegal's picture

On the heels of her last best seller.

Stronger Together

Although both Clinton and Kaine promoted the new work in their campaign rallies, the book's initial sales were quite modest, selling fewer than 3,000 copies in its first week of availability.[1] The Times said the figure "firmly makes the book what the publishing industry would consider a flop.

Anunnaki's picture

Why aren't I 50 points ahead?

Umh's picture

i'll be markets do exist.

PitBullsRule's picture

You guys should put that hate behind you.  I told you, she's a 70 year old broad that nobody cares about anymore, she's disposable, she's not going to run again so she's just another one for the history books.  Like Mondale, a forgotten also ran.  Nobody cares about her, so they have to discount the book, because she doesn't matter.

I still think she would have been decent president, just to get the whole woman president thing out of the way.  We already got the black president thing over with, might as well do the woman president too.  But, now we have to worry about some other broad running, and probably winning.

Haitian Snackout's picture

25 cents, free shipping, lots of pages and a very cold winter, and I'm in.

F em all but 6's picture

I know. Buy the book. Take a big nasty dump on the cover. Take a pic and call it Art. Winning!!

koan's picture

Why would we care? Shes old news and besides "book purchases" and "speaking tours" are how these scum launder their paybacks for favors.

NotSquigglyJustFuzzy's picture

She got schlonged again!

ZeroLounger's picture

This is another one of those books I'll never read, along with Dreams of My Father, The Audacity of Hope, Promise Me Dad, among others.

TGDavis's picture

I had a chance to read parts of Bill Clinton's memoir. (Don't ask why.)  It read like something written by an 8th grader. When will these people go away? 

Dickguzinya's picture

Any day now, Amazon's stock price should be cut approximately 50%.  Currently overvalued, but then again, when you're getting cheap money from the government, the sky's the limit.  Pretty soon:  "The ship be sinking."(Michael (Sugar) Ray Richardson).

remoran's picture

The illustration says it all though Bernie's not one of the endless excuses of why she was such a bad candidate for the Dems running an even worse campaign for the presidency.

NaturalOnly's picture

I write and publish books. Amazon discounts bestsellers by 40%. They want to boost sales. This book is NUMBER 1 on all of Amazon.

Yes, I hate her too, but somebody is buying these books.  If a book is full price, it is because no one is buying it.

rex-lacrymarum's picture

I always wonder about these sales figures.  It first occurred to me that they are very likely the functional equivalent of bought Facebook and Twitter likes when I saw the alleged sales figures of Thomas Pikkety's unreadable Marxist jeremiad, which was not only incredibly boring and brimming with erroneous data, but also contained what can only be termed atrociously bad economic theory. There is not a snowball's chance in hell that actual readers bought as many copies of that book as was claimed. No serious economist could possibly be interested in something as obviously amateurish and lay people are for the most part simply not interested in books of this type (i.e., books that claim to be about economic theory). I have actually found out that as a rule, not even trained economists are taking the time to read much on the topic beyond their course books. 

I think the whole thing was probably a promotion, funded by someone interested in pushing leftist propaganda (something like Soros surreptitiously buying 100,000 copies and giving them away). Luckily it largely failed as far as I can tell - despite the faux media hoopla, which desperately tried to insinuate that Pikkety's hoary nonsense was somehow "new" or worth discussing. 

And so I wonder about this book as well. Who actually wants to read this crap? I wouldn't even take it for free. Not even the people who voted for her can possibly be interested in 100ds of pages of incessant whining. I could understand if a few stand-up comedians in search of new material were to buy a few copies, but why would the average, normal book-reading citizen? This has to be way down on nearly everyone's list of reading priorities. After all, the time one spends reading this pile of dung is time one will never get back. 

Rebelrebel7's picture

If she gives them away for free, marksmen can use them for target practice, it would make a great youtube video!

Stinkytofu's picture

drop to 50 cents for the "kindling" edition, great for summer BBQ's!

oncemore's picture

Somebody at Amazon will get killed.

poldark's picture

Surprised she did not blame Farage

dogismycopilot's picture

For all my bitching about Trump and his fucked up actions on Russia, Immigration, Staffing, Korea, etc., I am still glad that Hillary lost and while I disagree with him, Trump is my President.

Megaton Jim's picture

Stroke out already, you evil, nasty old bitch!