The most insensitive survey, the results of which you might never see

hedgeless_horseman's picture

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."

-James Bovard

I am sick and tired of the MSM and government's useless puffball surveys, and have been searching for better social, economic, and political data on the internet.  However, what little information I found is old, hard to obtain, and not very interesting or informative. 

Building on Mark Dice's entertaining video interviews, I would like to see the complete results of a confidential survey with questions like the following:

__ has less than $1,000 in cash saved for an emergency or unexpected expense

__ has not paid off all credit cards at least once this year  

__ has more than one credit card with a balance greater than 60 days


__ is obese (BMI>30) 

__ spouse or significant other is obese

__ has one or more obese children 


__ has multiple convictions for assault or battery

__ has multiple convictions for a sex offense

__ has multiple convictions for driving while intoxicated or under the influence


__ is on disability, but able to use the internet and social media

__ is on disability, but able to answer a telephone when it rings

__ is on disability, but able to drive a vehicle or golf ball


__ does not know the names of his/her two senators and congressman

__ does not know the name of the Vice President of the USA

__ does not know the name of his or her state's governor


__ cannot run, bike, row, or swim for 10 minutes without stopping

__ cannot do 10 push-ups if a male, or one push-up if a female

__ cannot hang from a pull-up bar for 20 seconds if a male, 10 seconds if a female


__ has not read a book in the last year

__ did not graduate high school or earn a GED

__ has not visited a museum or attended a lecture in the last five years


__ has not gone 7 consecutive days without drinking alcohol in the last year

__ has not gone 7 consecutive days without smoking marijuana in the last year

__ has used RX pain killers without a RX more than once in the last year


__ has never held a job for more than a 9 months, and is over 25 years old

__ has not ever received a wage increase from a private sector job

__ has worked for the government, or would prefer to work for the government 


__ owes more on home than it is worth

__ owes more on vehicle than it is worth

__ is over 30 years old and has a negative net worth


__ has never travelled outside of home country

__ has never travelled outside of home state

__ does not have a passport


__ has had a tattoo, hair colored, or nails done professionally while receiving SNAP

__ person or sexual partner(s) has had more than one taxpayer-funded abortion

__ has had unprotected sex while receiving WIC benefits


__ drinks caffeinated beverage or energy drinks and takes high-blood-pressure pills

__ is obese and has Type 2 diabetes

__ smokes tobacco and receives tax-payer subsidized healthcare 


__ has more than one television per person in home

__ television was turned on in home everyday last week

__ television is primary source of news


__ has less than $500 saved for car repair

__ is driving an uninsured vehicle

__ monthly car payment is greater than the amount of cash he/she has saved 


__ does not know where China is located on a globe

__ does not know where Washington, DC, is located on a map of the USA

__ does not know why it is colder in the winter and warmer in the summer


__ has saved an average of less that $100 per month worked

__ is counting on Social Security to fund retirement

__ has purchased lottery tickets more than once in the past month


__ lives in a flood plain but does not have flood insurance

__ lives in public housing 

__ has slept in a shelter in the last year


Scoring one point for each affirmative response, with these 54 questions, what do you think the average score would be for adults in the USA?  What percent of Americans do you predict would score above 25?  40?  What about the average score for ZeroHedge readership?  What about for ESPN viewership?

Imagine if we did have this information for a statistically significant portion of a population.  What do you think it could teach us, and how might we use it?  How do you think the scores might vary based on race?  Religion?  Age?  Other factors?   What other questions or changes to these questions would you like to see?

Finally, would you consider donating as little as $10 to a Project Mayhem assignment, and enable a politically incorrect survey such as this to be conducted?

If we are going to try to Make America Great Again, then we probably should have a much better idea of where we are starting.  It is possible that the hole we are in is deeper than anyone wants to believe, or maybe we on ZeroHedge are all just too negative?

Wishing you peace, prosperity, liberty, and love (but my honest sense looking around me today is that we are totally fucked),


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VWAndy's picture

 I scored pretty high. These are not things I would liked to be judged by.

  Mentored at least one soul.

 Had a good persons back when others ran

Never cheated on spouse

Gone more than a month without telling a single lie

Stood up to a bully and took the beating then came back for another beating because its still the right thing to do

Do ya stand on principals


  Not saying its not an interesting poll. Just saying when I die these are the things Id liked to be remembered for.

ElTerco's picture

Why lie at all? My girlfriend cries at times, but she says what she really loves about me is that I don't sugarcoat.

VWAndy's picture

Because my children are not ready for the pure hard ugly truth?

aliens is here's picture

I have Hillary's secret sex tapes for sale. Any one interested?

Ban KKiller's picture

Some folks can not read the poll. 

GreatUncle's picture

HH actually agree "totaly fucked" ...

Will be no BREXIT economically SHTF for all on that one.

The US will never put the $ against any standard like gold again.

They will CTRL-P to the moon, and if not somebody else will do it for them.

How to know this?

Look at legislation, making criminal, etc. all signals that they are lieing and are fearful of people finding out.

Too late though, Pandora's box is open now.


On the disability don't consider the person look at the definition of disability because without enough work and if you crush education and benefit support those who would be unemployed would rocket.

But don't worry as the economy gets worse to find the money to pay for the freebies SWHTF (W = will).

A good freebie at the moment in the UK is public sector workers getting statuatory pay rises whereas the private sector gets nothing or a collapsing income.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

hedge great write as is your norm.

For posterity I will post this comment on the 16th Anniversary of what became the "beginning of our end" and "why" I decided to go and will keep going as long as I'm still alive and drawing breath no matter how bad it gets for U.S.

This Anniversary was important of course just like the last 15 were that got ignored. But what made it memorable were the words of a father about losing his son that day that still has no investigation and justice for him among 2,900 others by his own government in one of the most important buildings in one of the most important cities in the World... Not the U.S. Capitol building... Not the White House... or even the U.S. Supreme Court...

It was the Press Club Building ( that is supposed to be the last rail of truth in a sea of deception!

But did this make anyone's 5 o'clock news hour on September 11, 2017 just like every year since 2006 when the FOIA that saw thousands of hours of eyewitness testimony and videos spill out that never made it to the government's "official narrative"?...

I and 3 dozen others showed up to support this father who I actually met for the first time. I shook his hand and asked him "how" there could be so few of us in the U.S. who's duty and obligation is to bring the truth to the steps of their own government when it commits the worst treason for a narrative that has murdered countless millions and pillaged those countries we've occupied based on that "lie" that day.

His analogy? It's like the drunk father that abuses his wife and children. The extended family and neighbors are embarrassed by it but remain silent even when it gets worse because they don't want to acknowledge the problem even though their continued indifference to it will wind up one day making it far worse!

In closing. Being a Zerohedger I believe it would have gone a long way if Tyler had juxtaposed Gatestone's ambassador of "goodwill" John Bolton on the problem of the Middle East with this Press Club video from AE911 Truth. But I'm certain that ABC media and it's advertisers would never allow that kind of effort to take place on their "dime"!

Time for me to get off my "soap box" and do my daily ritual of chin ups!

DingleBarryObummer's picture

--Spends way too much time mentally mastubating, trolling, virtue signalling, boasting, pissing in the wind, and beating your head against the wall on a rightist (with white supremacist undertones) internet cult website themed with a homo-erotic (look at the twitter icon) hollywood character from a crappy overrated movie.

--Posts full frontal male nudity on a site people like to look at at work and at the library.

--Is a bored, frustrated, arrogant attention whore.

name_the_user's picture

The cranky ZH folks like to lump all us millenials as one homogenous group of mouth breathing panzies but I scored a 1 on this becaue I couldnt care less who my democrat conmen are.

bunkers's picture

One way or another, many of these things were forced upon a trusting public by traitorous politicians.

gaoptimize's picture active plan well executed since ~1900.

east of eden's picture


What a load of fucking crap. You choose to ignore all the potential catalysts for their 'perceived' wrongdoings, but I am here to tell you that much of what they are expressing is probably not their fault.

It's so nice that you had the luxury of never having to have been bothered with the 'great unwashed' until now.


What a true, fucking bastard you must be.

GreatUncle's picture

Do you believe an elite person ever makes a decision that makes them poorer or richer at the expense of others?

Nope they meticulously plan to ensure they never lose.

That is the rot we have now and here is the thing if you realise the truth about humanity.

IF I WAS PUT IN CHARGE I WOULD BEHAVE EXACTLY THE SAME because is is what all humans do.

Where it gets awkward for them now though if you realise, "why the fuck should I or you not totally ignore the lot of them now"? because I know I am one of the ones that will suffer so another can have a nice life.

Bullshit ... fuck off and die? Exact same sentiment felt here actually but against all those that expect me to suffer at their expense to the point I no longer give a shit about terrorism or nuclear war. I suffer in all cases so wether somebody wipes out your kind or not I get the same.

That is the real underlying theme here and why your "perceived wrongdoings" is a bullshit statement for "purposeful intent"

hedgeless_horseman's picture


"You choose to ignore all the potential catalysts for their 'perceived'
wrongdoings, but I am here to tell you that much of what they are
expressing is probably not their fault."

Dr Greg Baer wrote a good book that you might consider reading. 

Real Love and Freedom for the Soul - Eliminating the Chains of Victimhood

gaoptimize's picture

I plead guilty to two of these in the past

__ owes more on vehicle than it is worth (Is pretty much the case with any financed vehicle these days)

__ is over 30 years old and has a negative net worth (I was a renter until ~30, and then the L.A. riots hit and destroyed the equity in my home.)

Never the less, it is a good life assessment inventory (I'll call it a disfunction index) and I'll pass it on to my 17yo HS senior.

The harder question is: What do we do as a society to encourage and reward lowering of their disfunction index score and discourage higher index scores?

I'd like to propose some positive measures (maybe 50 to increase the total to 100?)

-Has someone told you they love you in the past week?

-Have you told someone you love them in the past week?

-Do you have a realistic vision for how you will improve your life in the future?

-Is their a role model in you life that has achieved that vision?

-Do you feel your achievements outweigh your failures so far in life?

-Have you reconciled to and have you learned from your failures? (I'm still depressed about not having more than 5 awesome kids.  Look at how many the defenders of the Alamo had in Wikipedia)  So I fail this one.

-Would most people think you were a positive influence on their lives?

...and so on


theprofromdover's picture

- pays more than $50 a month for telecoms and TV

detached.amusement's picture

one needs a high speed connection when working from home and making 7k a month

Dragon HAwk's picture

Everybody is afraid of the Truth.

funny thing that religion and truth, link up


Col. Leghorn CSA's picture

Too many people taking poles today and not enough taking polls.

ElTerco's picture

I would love to see a national poll with these questions. The problem is getting the people who would have the highest score to actually take *any* poll.

Madmartygan's picture

^This. I'd still fork over $10 on the off chance that the target audience provides responses.

farmerbraun's picture

HH, it seems that what you have there is one of these quotient things, like I.Q., for example.
You are measuring a handful of different things, but overall the combined indices yield a sustainability quotient.
My reading is that the high scorers on your survey have not got a shit' s show in hell " going forward".

Alananda's picture


I truly appreciate all your posts (thus far!) and this one seems pointed and timely.  So, I copied your listing into MS Word (do I get a bad mark for that?), had the program number the questions (54 confirmed) and began to count "positives".

I could not answer the "exercise questions" (#16 - #18) because I have not tested myself, age 70 and counting, recently.  However, I have begun chainsaw work on a mountain of wood, so I THINK I might "run, bike, row, or swim" for 10 minutes without stopping.

My wife -- eight years younger than I -- has remedied one gap in information. She bought me an "air bike", just like the kind they have at her "cross fit" training.  Personally, I KNOW I'd get cross if I had to do "fit", much less "cross fit", at 6 am like she does.  I have stymied her, though, by insisting she demonstrate the use of the "air bike" -- no user manual -- BEFORE I begin my new fitness regimen.  So far, she has not risen to take that bait!

So, the maximum score I calculated was 3, given I get dinged as unfit due to inclusion of those exercise questions.  May I assume I will receive from you a "gold star"?

Love it, brother!  Keep it coming.  Sorry I could not travel so far as Texas to meet with you and the special others!


hedgeless_horseman's picture


It's not a test, but interesting to me that many view it as such.

You were looking for this...

Pernicious Gold Phallusy's picture

Seven days? < sweat  >

The Old Man's picture

Me too! Since I scored a 1, I think it's the only thing that keeps me on my toes for the other 53! At age 67 and healthy as a plow horse!

pawn's picture

S e X helps every time!

John Kerry-Heinz's picture

I will pontificate upon the last sentence. 

We hath traveleth past totally Fukt.  It hath been wrought upon the youth by design.

Ask yourself this question. If you see the current state of the latest generation as having achieved an A+ in the  flunkee of life class, what might you imagine the next generation may resemble in 15 years time?

Ben A Drill's picture

According to your survey. I'm rich,(I am not). Able to complete boot camp with flying colors (again) yes, that's true.

Smart? I read Zero Hedge daily. You decide.

What is debt? My monthly expenses are $44.99 a month for my wi-fi. The wife gets everything leftover. LOL! Condo, both vehicles paid in full. No CC bills. Most of my money goes torward insurance and HOA fees.

Have the same job for 22 years and counting.

Working on a year supply of food for three people. Just have to figure out where to store it.

Have two gun safes packed full of goodies. If you saw how much ammo I have "you might think I'm a terrorist"
. I am not.

Trying to get ready for the next mini ice age. It's coming sooner than you think. Heads up HH.

Good Luck everyone.

gaoptimize's picture

Re: Your ammo.  I had a colleague who was a Distinguished Service Cross recipient from the Vietnam war. Thomas W. Jaeger (0-5337104).  We were discussing my preps, as I was inviting him to bug out to our house when the fighting starts.  When I told him how much ammo I had, he told me I would not live long enough in combat to shoot through half of it.  I've concentrated my prepping investments elsewhere since.

Wild tree's picture

That may be true Ga, but there is a currently unforseen value in ammo. When the balloon goes up, what will you trade for the odd item needed that you may have forgot to include in your preps? Ammo will come to have a far higher value than the worthless script that most call money today, for the dollar will default 2-3 months after the new world currency has it's debut (maybe 15 October when the IMF is supposed to launch the new world currency).

Been a few good deals here lately on ammo. I recommend a small family owned shop:  They are good people, and I am not affilated with them in any way, just a satisfied customer.

Ben A Drill's picture

According to your survey. I'm rich,(I am not). Able to complete boot camp with flying colors (again) yes, that's true.

Smart? I read Zero Hedge daily. You decide.

What is debt? My monthly expenses are $44.99 a month for my wi-fi. The wife gets everything leftover. LOL! Condo, both vehicles paid in full. No CC bills. Most of my money goes torward insurance and HOA fees.

Have the same job for 22 years and counting.

Working on a year supply of food for three people. Just have to figure out where to store it.

Have two gun safes packed full of goodies. If you saw how much ammo I have "you might think I'm a terrorist."
I am not.

Trying to get ready for the next mini ice age. It's coming sooner than you think. Heads up HH.

Good Luck everyone.

webmatex's picture

Off subject but...

$44.99 a month for my wi-fi.

What a rip - here in france we've paid SFR Eur 15 p.m. for the last 10 years or more -  and they installed fibre optic cable with a new box (wifi which i turn off) including tv channels (yuk) last year for free providing we stay with them for another year.

This includes my daughter and wifes cell phones and my old land line.

How much do you pay for an internet connection could be another question?

I know its a total rip in the US but be interested to hear.


CRM114's picture

France has 3 times the population density of the USA, and 1/3 the bill size. You will probably find those two facts are connected.

logicalman's picture

Can't go more than 15 minutes away from their tracking device, I mean 'smart' phone.

Doesn't know the difference between money and currency.

A couple more to add to the list.


Anonymous_Beneficiary's picture

Seems like everything fits into neat little compartments in your world HH. You should try smoking a joint sometime, lol.

logicalman's picture

Scored 2 - beer & pot.

I don't indulge heavily, but I do indulge often.


Anonymous_Beneficiary's picture

Sobrietas (moderation) is a wonderful thing ;)

God Emperor's picture

Damn it, I scored 2:

- Don't know my senators (expat) = 1p

- Not having a boss for more than 9 months (beside myself) = 0.5p

- Not having a pay increase from a private job (beside my own) =0.5p


Anyone fairing better?


Anteater's picture

- Cut my fees in half to keep H-1B Hindus away from clients (succeeded) = 0.5 pts

- Then tried doubling fees of offshore Hindus to my clients (failed totally) = -0.5 pts

Big fat goose egg. Then all my clients projects are choked down to zero ATM.

Just cranking out estimates and bids. Fucking Hindus are prolly low-balling!!

Tried to bid on FEMA disaster asssessment work, but they only pay inspectors

$35 per house! They must drive by at 45mph with i-Phone flashing. TOTALLED! 

bardot63's picture

Excellent, hedgeless horseman.  thanks!

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture


"What do you think it could teach us, and how might we use it?"


How would you use it, HH?

PeeramidIdeologies's picture

This type of survey is too antiquidated to be valid any more.

Facebook, google and gov. agencies have far more reliable and insightful data at hand.

I find this acknowledgement leads us to a more interesting talking point.

If everything you did, said, spent, researched, and engaged with was recorded and displayed for public scrutiny how would that affect your life?

To be honest, I'm not confident the species would survive such an experience, I know my own honest application of that questions produced a profound shift in perspective that I still struggle with.

PeeramidIdeologies's picture

I hadn't seen this tool before! Very cool