Swiss Mystery: Someone Keeps Flushing €500 Bank Notes Down The Toilet

Tyler Durden's picture

While there are several comments one can make here, "dirty money", "flush with cash" and "flushing money down the toilet" certainly coming to mind, perhaps the ECB was on to something when it warned that €500 "Bin Laden" bills (which it has since discontinued to print) tend to be used by criminals.

The reason for this is that in recent weeks, Swiss prosecutors have been gripped by a mystery, trying to figure out why someone tried to flush tens of thousands of euros down the toilet at a Geneva branch of UBS.

And not just once.

The first €500 bills were discovered several months ago in a bathroom close to a bank vault containing hundreds of safe deposit boxes, according to a report in Tribune de Geneve confirmed by the city prosecutor’s office. A few days later, Bloomberg adds that more banknotes turned up in toilets at three nearby restaurants, requiring thousands of francs in plumbing repairs to unclog the pipes. Indeed, AP adds that at one pizzeria, police were informed after the clogged toilet had overflowed

In all, police have extracted tens of thousands of euros in soiled bills, many of which appear to have been cut with scissors.

While destroying banknotes isn’t a crime in Switzerland, “there must be something behind this story,” said Henri Della Casa, a spokesman for the Geneva Prosecutor’s Office. “That’s why we started an investigation.” He declined to discuss the case further.

Della Casa said the origins of the cash were unknown. Predictably, UBS declined to comment on the incident at its branch on the Rue de la Corraterie in downtown Geneva.

According to AP, preliminary clues from an investigation suggest that the cash "dump" once belonged to unnamed “Spanish women who had placed the loot in a Geneva vault several years ago,” the report said.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Dutch1206's picture

Toilet paper.  Euros.  What's the difference?

peddling-fiction's picture

Is this confusing a boating "accident" with gold onboard?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The perpetrator is simply demonstrating the true value of all fiat.

Shitonya Serfs's picture

What was Yellen doing in Switzerland??

YUNOSELL's picture

I guess it's better than finding a Swiss Roll

Bastiat's picture

I want to be a Swiss plumber.

DeadFred's picture

Another glitch in the time machine. The traveler didn't realize that euros weren't/aren't toilet paper until NEXT year. Sometimes it's hard to keep the the facts straight about when you are.

Four chan's picture

charmin the new central bank note.

Manthong's picture

 

Somebody over there is trying to provide an object lesson on the intrinsic value of fiat.

DWD-MOVIE's picture

I'm making over $12k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do.... http://disq.us/url?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.Jobzon3.com%3Ab8eR_DQLwGRPVGtFvv...

IH8OBAMA's picture

You'll never see that happening with Bitcoin.  It would be like wiping your ass with a static charge.  LOL

ThuleNord's picture

The printers are running so fast they can't control where the notes go flying

ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

'To Live and Die in Lurcerne'

BTFDemocracy's picture

Seeing money be created out of thin air by

 

1. Central bankers typing it into their computer checking accounts

2. Crypto blockchains coming to life (eyeing BCH)

3. Market caps that hit billions in second after launch

 

This all just looks like high quality toilet paper representing imaginary numbers on hard drives, numbers that are used to control the global populus through greed and fear by the TPTB.

BTFDemocracy's picture

Seeing money be created out of thin air by

 

1. Central bankers typing it into their computer checking accounts

2. Crypto blockchains coming to life (eyeing BCH)

3. Market caps that hit billions in second after launch

 

This all just looks like high quality toilet paper representing imaginary numbers on hard drives, numbers that are used to control the global populus through greed and fear by the TPTB.

NoDebt's picture

"tried to flush tens of thousands of euros down the toilet at a Geneva branch of UBS."

I'm no detective but that UBS branch is where I'd start my investigation.  Either somebody is dumb as a box of rocks or UBS has something to do with this.  I'd give you coin flip odds on either of those possibilities.

 

SumTing Wong's picture

All I can say is, "Holy shit."

Fizzy Head's picture

Now.. I've heard of people laundering they're money.. but never quite like this.

 

p.s. i'd wipe my ass with shitcoin, but its so frickin worthless you cant even do that with it.  muuwwaaaa haha hahaha

bloostar's picture

Surely you mean, "Euro trash"

Gold Pedant's picture

That coin would land on its rim every single time, foiling any investigation. What are the odds!

Eyes Opened's picture

Jeez... talk about the goose that lays the golden egg ??

Some dude/dudette goin around shittin €500 notes & doesn't even know it !!

Yog Soggoth's picture

There was that guy in Guiness that swallowed a bunch of coins, so maybe.

realmoney2015's picture

It's essentially what happens to all Fiat currencies. The central bankers print so much of it that it becomes as valuable as toilet paper. 

Gold and silver are real money. You won't find anyone flushing it down the toilet! They hold their values for years, decades and centuries. 

We need to go back to a sound monetary system based on these metals. To that, of course, we need to audit and end the Fed! That is the swamp that needs drained, because it supplies the rest of the swamp critters. 

To help raise awareness and spread real money to those who otherwise may not know, we sell candles with real silver coin prizes: www.scentsaverscandles.com

Let's make this the top priority for making positive change in America! Because without ending the Fed, no major positive change is possible! 

Fake Trump's picture

Give her some US$ bills to wipe her cunt after a pee.

Blackfox's picture

It's George Soros wiping his arse on them Goyim.

yogibear's picture

Exactly. Toilet paper more useful and easier on your behind.

Dukes's picture

Probably an inside job. Partnering with a local plumber who comes in and "fixes the problem". How many bankers are going to go in there and try to clear out a massive clog of, presumably, shit?

curbjob's picture

My money is on Super Mario Draghi flushing his way to a modest inflation while providing liquidity.

 

 

aside, those are the cleanest Euros in the ECB's tanking system . 

SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Seriously, at some point, it will be cheaper to whipe your arse with the Euros than it is to buy the wipes. 

docloxvio's picture

I would think the Euros would be kinda scratchy for what I normally use toilet paper for. I'll be long Charmin, thanks.

DeadFred's picture

LOL, you think Charmin will still be available a year from now. Long corn cobs!

docloxvio's picture

I've got my own stock. I get your point however.

GunnerySgtHartman's picture

I'd like to think that whoever is flushing them is doing it to make a statement about the EU in general. :-)

quadraspleen's picture

They obviously "forgot" to exchange them for smaller denomination notes when they got retired...Now they're just toilet paper..I'm sure a major bank in CH would still exchange them *cough*

TheGardener's picture

BS story, all Swiss big banks vaults have had shredding facilities at place. Eating passport thick documents at a time . Worth thousands upon page but no longer needed nor helpful.  Copy this and shredder was a common request in the old day down low at the vaults. I call complete BS !!. No questions asked in discretionary banking as it should always had been. Financial instruments once worth passing borders put to the shredders.

Travellers checks once not counted against financial instruments upon crossing borders :   shredded. Among bearer shares no one coud trace but only personally claim

a lot of money was rather flushed down the digital toilet than claimed.

No one flushing down dirty notes , no way .

Except upon arrest anyone would flush down notes down into sewage.

Never happens, you have been had.

No cash in the toilet.

holgerdanske's picture

Voltaire said that all money will go to its intrinsic value.

Usually that is "zero" but now we can see where the EURO is heading!

chestergimli's picture

Voltaire also said, "when it comes to money everyone is of the same religion."

tmosley's picture

An oldbug decided to try buying some bitcoin. Thought he was supposed to destroy his currency and the crypto would appear magically in his wallet.

They really don't get how these things work.

Mr.BlingBling's picture

TM, you've recommended Gemini exchange, but there are negative reviews noting problems with initial verification.  Regardless of whether you're happy now, did you have any issues opening or transacting?  Any experience with other exchanges, for those who don't want to deal with the twins?

https://www.cryptocompare.com/exchanges/gemini/overview

 

tmosley's picture

I have had zero problems with them, but I am sure they are swamped right now. Exponential growth will do that.

If you don't have any sort of weird bank account (ie don't pay them out of a trust, or even a credit union account), you will probably be fine.

Another alternative, if you are in a fairly large metro area, might be to find a nice, low fee bitcoin ATM. Not an option for me, the nearest one is a six hour drive away and has a 20% (!!!) fee. But I have seen others with a less than 5% fee. Nice and convenient, or so I would think. get a wallet for your phone so you can display a QR code so it can know where to transfer the BTC (or other coin).

You can also sign up for purse.io and buy things at a discount for people on Amazon and receive bitcoin for that.

Lots of ways to get into the ecosystem.

Mr.BlingBling's picture

Thanks. 

I didn't know about the ATM concept; I'll look into it because, unfortunately, I am near the Belly of the Beast.