Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails

Tyler Durden's picture

As wall street analysts celebrate the coming of age of the millennial generation, a group of young people who were supposed to lead another revolutionary wave of consumerism if only they could work long enough to escape their parents' basement, retailers like Home Depot are panicked about selling into what will soon be America's largest demographic...but not for the reasons you might think. 

While avocado resellers like Whole Foods only have to worry about creating a catchy advertising campaign to attract millennials, Home Depot is in full-on panic mode after realizing that an entire generation of Americans have absolutely no clue how to use their products.  As the Wall Street Journal points out, the company has been forced to spend millions to create video tutorials and host in-store classes on how to do everything from using a tape measure to mopping a floor and hammering a nail.

Home Depot's VP of marketing admits she was originally hesitant because she thought some of their videos might be a bit too "condescending" but she quickly learned they were very necessary for our pampered millennials.

In June the company introduced a series of online workshops, including videos on how to use a tape measure and how to hide cords, that were so basic some executives worried they were condescending. “You have to start somewhere,” Mr. Decker says.

 

Lisa DeStefano, Home Depot vice president of marketing, initially hesitated looking over the list of proposed video lessons, chosen based on high-frequency online search queries. “Were we selling people short? Were these just too obvious?” she says she asked her team. On the tape-measure tutorial, “I said ‘come on, how many things can you say about it?’ ” Ms. DeStefano says.

And just in case you think we're joking and/or exaggerating, here is Home Depot's tape measure tutorial in all its glory:

 

Meanwhile, Scotts Miracle-Gro has been forced to start training classes to remind frustrated millennials, who can't seem to keep their flowers alive, that plants need sunlight to grow (apparently not a single millennial ever took biology in grade school).  Commenting on the tutorials, a defeated VP of Corporate Affairs, Jim King, admitted "these are simple things we wouldn’t have really thought to do or needed to do 15 to 20 years ago"...sorry, Mr. King this is your life now.

The Scotts Miracle-Gro Co. has started offering gardening lessons for young homeowners that cover basic tips—really, really basic—like making sure sunlight can reach plants.

 

“These are simple things we wouldn’t have really thought to do or needed to do 15 to 20 years ago,” says Jim King, senior vice president of corporate affairs for Scotts. “But this is a group who may not have grown up putting their hands in the dirt growing their vegetable garden in mom and dad’s backyard.”

 

“They grew up playing soccer, having dance recitals and playing an Xbox,” says Scott’s Mr. King. “They probably didn’t spend as much time helping mom and dad out in the yard as their predecessors or their predecessors’ predecessors.”

 

Companies such as Scotts, Home Depot Inc., Procter & Gamble Co. , Williams-Sonoma Inc.’s West Elm and the Sherwin-Williams Co. are hosting classes and online tutorials to teach such basic skills as how to mow the lawn, use a tape measure, mop a floor, hammer a nail and pick a paint color.

Unfortunately, at least for the Home Depots of the world, millennials now represent the largest demographic in America with 4.75 million 26 year olds roaming the streets of New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles without a clue as to how to use a tape measure.

The biggest single age cohort today in the U.S. is 26-year-olds, who number 4.8 million, according to Torsten Slok, chief international economist for Deutsche Bank . People 25, 27 and 24 follow close behind, in that order. Many are on the verge of life-defining moments such as choosing a career, buying a house and having children.

 

Millennials as a whole are America’s latest demographic bubble, overtaking the baby boom generation and, like them, transforming popular culture, retailing, media and lifestyles. They make up about 42% of all home buyers today, and 71% of all first-time home buyers, according to Zillow Group . Some 86% of millennial home buyers reported making at least one improvement to their home in the past year, more than any other generation, Zillow says.

 

While we have our doubts that it will save their business, retailers like J.C. Penney and West Elm are trying to adapt to the millennial generation by offering basic in-home services like installing televisions or hanging wall art.

J.C. Penney Co. says the group is willing to hire others for projects. The retailer has pushed into home services, including furnace and air-conditioning repair, water-treatment systems and bathroom renovations, and expanded its window-covering installation.

 

“They’re much more of a ‘Do-It-for-Me’ type of customer than a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ customer,” says Joe McFarland, executive vice president of J.C. Penney stores. “You don’t need a ladder or a power drill, you don’t even have to wonder if you measured your window right.”

 

Home-furnishings retailer West Elm offers service packages, which start at $129, to provide plumbing and electrical work, painting, installing a television and hanging wall art and mirrors.

 

All that said, at least some millennials are trying to be more self-sufficient...as an example, the WSJ notes the case of 26-year-old Breanne Loes who recently borrowed her dad's power tools to craft a wooden headboard...which went really well AFTER she realized the saw blade was on backwards.

Ms. Loes enjoys do-it-yourself projects, and two summers ago built with her now-husband a wooden headboard in her parents’ garage, with help from an online tutorial, her dad, two older brothers and their tools.

 

The saw wasn’t working at first because the blade was backward. “That was embarrassing,” says Ms. Loes.

Congrats, Breanne, really great job...really.

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rz the 1st's picture

As a somewhat old guy, I've been collecting tools and building my shop.

Welders,plasma cutter, lotsa power tools, mini mill, new drill press and grinder, and assorted and sundry other stuff.

I was looking at the Sporty I finished up the other day, and had a moment.

I realised that after I cash out, there's no one in my family that has the skills or desire to make any use of the tools I've been collecting all these years.

So, I came to the decision that one of my co-workers, a young guy with a family, is going to be the one to clean out the garage after I shuffle the old mortal coil.

He'll do well with the stash, and I'll know that all my cool shit went to a good home, with someone who understands it's value.

But for now, I'll still have a few things to build, and there are still sparks that need to fly.

I hope ya'll have someone that you can pass the legacy on to....

Keep reloading........

libertyanyday's picture

Monty Pythons..........the twits.

Zero-Hegemon's picture

I picked up a 7x10 mini lathe earlier this year because I needed to learn a about metal working. Just because, no other reason other than to satisfy my curiosity about metal lathes.

Funny thing was that I couldn't find one at Home Depot, or an instructional video.

Silver_Knight's picture

Bullshit.  Millenials have fuck all money to hire for this shit.  Do you think the DIY movement is coming from boomers?  The bigger problem for Home Depot is that millenials are too poor to afford their products so they go get it at the dump and the side of the road and repurpose things.   Waste thown away by older, weathier people.  

Cozy Vanilla Sugar's picture

Right on - instead of a house and a mortgage, they've got a Communications degree and $150k in student debt.

Their publicly traded apartment reit landlords aren't paying as much for renovations as an owner-resident would. And they aren't paying retail for a bag of Scott's Miracle Shit from Home Depot.

grasha87's picture

I have beeen reviewing books on Austrian economics and theres more to come: Here is a new book review:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF9KAOsm0ik

Mustafa Kemal's picture

We dont seem to be doing to good at soccer either. 
First time since 1986 that we are not eligible for world cup 

BetterRalph's picture

Soccer is where that ANTI-FA chant comes from.

Vracar's picture

muricans-most unaducated nation on Earth. pussyfied ignorant arogant fucks, thinking of themselfs as exeptional. Now that is a nation that should not be alowed to have 'nucelar'* weapons.

 

* president of the u.s arbusto

Is-Be's picture

Stop.

The Americans have had a number done on them. Ask Yuri Bezmenov.

moorewasthebestbond's picture

Hometown USA is head and shoulders over shitty Europe!!!!!!!!!!

 

Snipes: We're safe around here.

 

Connery: You call this safe?

 

Snipes: Rough neighborhoods may be America's last advantage.

Is-Be's picture

We 

 

 

Can

 

 

Join 

 

 

 

In 

 

 

And

 

 

Fill 

 

 

The

 

 

 

Thread

 

 

 

With blank spaces too.

Kinda rude, no?

Is-Be's picture

My son got a degree in Electrical engineering. He is into his doctorate.

I've just bought him his first breadboard.

He's a top gun in programming, but that industry swivels on a dime. Today's hero is tomorrow's bore.

I'm hanging around to teach him to drive.

What I wouldn't do to have him come sailing with me and develop the land that is going to be vital if our very fragile supply lines fail.

His mommy wipes his arse for him.

Nigger Rich's picture

I'm getting into sailing. what kind of boat do you have? 

Is-Be's picture

Classic monohull. Don't get anything bigger than 10 meters unless money is no object. Even then you may need crew.

Shallow draft is very important.

Miner's picture

When you giggle at the ineptitude of these people, remember that they weren't hatched.  Have you taught your kids how to make and do?

css1971's picture

Bad parenting.

Debugas's picture

do the millenials still know how to wipe their own asses ?

zimboe's picture

No. They lack the basic physiological self-awareness of knowing where their own asshole is.

this is why the new  AssRadar(TM) app for the I-phone is such a top seller.

 

VWAndy's picture

They can wipe sure. Can they go out and buy TP before they run out?

 Me Id be happier if they could just figure out a belt holds up pants. Jusy saying ya cant really be all that good at anything if ur pants are falling down. cept spellin.

JailBanksters's picture

That's why they all have smart phones, so they don't have to be.

I saw this problem 20 years ago, but worse is people in high paying jobs

where making Toast, Coffee is even a challenge.

Each Generation gets taught less at home from their Parents.

At this rate, in another 20 years, while the Phone will get smarter, people are going to a dumber than bat shit.

 

gespiri's picture

How many of these pussies also know how to change a flat tire?  Or what's under the hood of a car?

Bill Melater's picture

No sweat ... as long as they can click.

Hardest part will soon be ... "thinking"

grasha87's picture

I have beeen reviewing books on Austrian economics and theres more to come: Here is a new book review:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF9KAOsm0ik

chilller's picture

Some millennials Eggheads I work with spend their time building bitcoin mining machines in hopes they will some day be able to go video gaming or golfing all day while the contraption in their garage earns them $200,000 per day. Oh what a rude awakening these millennials are in for!

OCnStiggs's picture

Everyone needs a bitcoin machine.

Dave from Oz's picture

The root of the problem? A generation raised by single mothers.

afronaut's picture

Gen X are the parents of millenials, not boomers. 

mrdenis's picture

They've take all shop and automotove classed out of the HS ....they did this to make all kids want to go to college ...it's a  failed work in progress.

Erwin643's picture

A generation of idiots. A perfect example of multi-generational collapse.

And people wonder why I'm a Survivalist.