Paul Ryan Pans Schumer, Pokes Clinton, Picks On Trump At Al Smith Dinner Roast

Tyler Durden's picture

As opposed to the awkward cat calls and snide looks of last year's Al Smith Memorial dinner (roast) - just days before the election, Speaker Paul Ryan's comments last night had a little for everyone... and no one booed!

He began with some jabs at President Trump to soften the audience up...

"Enough with the applause... You sound like the Cabinet when Donald Trump walks into the room."

 

"I don't think I've seen this many New York liberals, this many Wall Street CEOs in one room since my last visit to the White House."

And then it was game on as the Speaker took shots at Schumer, Clinton, and Trump's tweets...

The speaker said that he has indeed dealt many times with an "abrasive New Yorker with a loud mouth... But, once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer's not all that bad," he said.

 

"I know why Chuck [Schumer] has been so hard on President Trump. It's not ideological; Chuck is just mad he lost his top donor."

 

"Wisconsin is a fantastic place to visit in the fall," he said of his home state. "Looking back, someone should've told Hillary Clinton that fact."

 

"The truth is, the press absolutely misunderstands and never records the big accomplishments of the White House ... Look at all the new jobs the president has created — just among the White House staff."

 

"Stephen Bannon said I was born in a Petri dish at the Heritage Foundation," he recalled, adding jokingly. "No one knew Steve believed in science."

 

"Every morning I wake up in my office and I scroll through Twitter to see which tweets I will have to pretend I didn't see later on."

 

"Every afternoon former Speaker John Boehner calls me up, not to give advice, just to laugh."

And finally, on Trump's remarks to the dinner last year:

"Some said it was unbecoming of a public figure and they said that his comments were offensive. Well, thank God he's learned his lesson."

Highlights below...

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Seasmoke's picture

What a fucking pussy.

Life of Illusion's picture

They all lie to each other thinking their jokes are funny.

Bes's picture

warning

trumpflakes about to be triggered

in 3.....2.....1.....

Bendromeda Strain's picture

Prog weathervane spins in every direction, no wind needed.

Stroke's picture

Fuck Bonner, & Fuck Eddie Munster

ParkAveFlasher's picture

I just flew in from Epstein's island, and I gotta tell ya, my arms are tired!

The Wizard's picture

How many pedo's in that room?

Bill of Rights's picture

POS...Do nothing twit.

MEAN BUSINESS's picture

President Trump was happy Speaker Ryan succeeded in getting The House to pass the American Health Care Act (AHCA) back in early May, twit. You should watch the reception that Trump held in The Rose Garden May 4th. Listen carefully to what Chair of the WAY MEAN Committee Kevin Brady said PoS, oops, I mean BoR

I'm sure you're aware Paul Ryan was also Chair of the WAY MEAN a few years ago, twit.

 

ultra86's picture

Unless he's announcing his retirement from politics, nobody gives a fuck what Paul Ryan says. The end.

wisehiney's picture

How strange it must be.

 To try to find a place iin this mess.

You young bucks.

Remember.

And party own dudes.

Them, them, fuck them.

Honest polite love would be ideal, but I did not believe thzt you fellows relly  had ha choice.

Bleed you  tdezTh.

 

FoggyWorld's picture

I watched and honestly thought Ryan was drunk.  Time for people to ask their Congressional representatives if they are planning to re-elect this piece of work.  

Soros recipient par excellance.

MrBoompi's picture

Ryan's as funny as a herpes lesion.  

Greenspazm's picture

...and as interesting as a desiccated booger.

jin187's picture

Still better and more original than SNL, and the other libtard shows.

Rebelrebel7's picture

It must have been quite an amazing experience for people to be laughing at Paul Ryan's jokes, rather than at Paul Ryan, like they normally are!

Ryland's picture

Stop joking and get shit done ass holes!! Laugh it up while healthcare costs rise, national debt rises to the point of bankrupting our country and we're on the brink of nuclear war!

Hal n back's picture

ditto Ryland

this is not a game.

 

GunnyG's picture

Paul Ryan and John Boner, two shitheads who need to be drowned in a pool of shit.

Shibumi2's picture

It's odd that the only time these fucker really say what they think is under cover of humor.

No wonder they don't get along with Trump

Faggots

JoeTurner's picture

Fuck the cuck Ryan

johnnycanuck's picture

He's prepping to join Obama on the nyuk nyuk tour? 

Good chuckles I might add.

redmudhooch's picture

Well, who knew he was a comedian too! 

Don't quit your day job Ryan!

Wait.....you suck ass at that too!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Off to the gallows with Ryan!

DirtySanchez's picture

This turd, Ryan, is about to get flushed.

Permanent ruling class, never held a real job.

Nickel and dime thief.

redmudhooch's picture

MAN! Look at the nose on that dude in the right corner!

Hamm Jamm's picture

RAT RYAN !

just tellin jokes with all his NWO friends

one big happy family

redmudhooch's picture

"Every afternoon former Speaker John Boehner calls me up, not to give advice, just to laugh."

 

The above statement (joke) tells you all you need to know about these psychopaths.

They're laughing.

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

These idiots joking about each other seems akin to a bunch of cons sitting in the prison yard remorselessly and giddily regaling each other with details of the monstrosities they committed.

PitBullsRule's picture

People often say, "How in the heck, did Hitler come to be chancelor?"

Well, there it is, that monologue shows you.  Rome is burning and those assholes obviously don't give a shit.  They are having parties, making jokes, its all fun and games, while the country is 20 T in debt, under attack from North Korea, people wondering if civil war is about to start...

And they make their slightly funny jokes.

Hitler, on the other hand, gave speeches where he was shaking his fists, foaming at the mouth when he spoke about  the terrible things that were happening to the country.  He had a plan, he was completely obsessed with his ideas, and you could tell.

These assholes, on the other hand, just don't give a shit.

If we had a guy like Hitler, right now, he would win.  

redmudhooch's picture

Under attack from N Korea? When did that happen?

Who did 9/11 again? USS Liberty? Las Vegas?

Try again..

LightBulb18's picture

I would bet the white gentile race has taken over 200 million needless casualties out of their 1 billion population over the past 20 years, and the numbers and financial losses are accelerating, and they aren’t even being replaced by the stronger parts of society, not even close. In G-d I trust.

Audacity17's picture

The only thing I care about at the Al Smith dinner is this guy.

 

https://giphy.com/gifs/election2016-shocked-huh-3oz8xOCu2uNFYJsZEI

Ban KKiller's picture

better be careful on those roasts...they can turn into cannibalism pretty quickly

TheLastTrump's picture

Watch Trump roast Hilary Clinton one day after the final pres debate last year.

 

This guy was surrounded by his fellow NY'ers & associates & Dick fucking Schumer & said fuck you to them all.

 

He pledged his life, his fortune, his sacred honor.

 

Watch.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmvxx_YbDsM

 

"Trump roasts Clinton at Al Smith charity dinner"

 

"Published on Oct 20, 2016

Just one night after the final presidential debate, Donald Trump roasted Hillary Clinton at the Al Smith Dinner. The Catholic charity fundraiser is an opportunity for the candidates to trade jokes and blows amid the heated campaign. CBSN has Trump's full speech."

 

 

lol....about 12;30 Hilary accused of taking bribes in Haiti, she didn't take it well

redmudhooch's picture

Sure, I'll give Trump a chance once Hillary is in jail.

roadhazard's picture

Funny shit I don't care who you are.

Puerto Banus NA's picture

This is why we need term limits....

Drop-Hammer's picture

I pray that that treacherous/treasonous cunt, Paul RINO, gets Stage 4 bone cancer.

jimymac's picture

Can't wait for Ryan, like Boehner, calls our new mr. speaker to cry a lot.

MaxThrust's picture

Is he getting molested by that priest?