Former Yahoo CEO Mayer Blames Massive Hacks On - Who Else? - Russia

Tyler Durden's picture

Looks like this guy’s been up to no good...

In an apology that’s long overdue, considering Yahoo revealed two months ago that a series of cyberattacks that it had previously reported actually impacted all of its 3 billion user accounts, former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer apologized on Wednesday for a pair of massive data breaches at the internet company. But rather than take responsibility for the cybersecurity failures at company - which was absorbed by Verizon earlier this year - Mayer blamed the hacks on the most convenient bugbear available.

That’s right: Mayer - who gave the apology during Congressional testimony - is blaming the intrusions on the Ruskies, a charge that we’re sure will find sympathy among certain Senate Democrats.

But lest anybody get it twisted, Mayer - in a deflection of blame that was nothing short of Clinton-esque - managed to apologize without admitting ultimate personal responsibility, Reuters reported.

”As CEO, these thefts occurred during my tenure, and I want to sincerely apologize to each and every one of our users,” she told the Senate Commerce Committee, testifying alongside the interim and former CEOs of Equifax Inc and a senior Verizon Communications Inc executive.


“Unfortunately, while all our measures helped Yahoo successfully defend against the barrage of attacks by both private and state-sponsored hackers, Russian agents intruded on our systems and stole our users’ data."

Verizon acquired most of Yahoo Inc’s assets in June after Yahoo was forced to accept a lower bid following several unflattering disclosures related to the hacking incidents. Mayer also stepped down in June. Verizon disclosed last month that a 2013 Yahoo data breach affected all 3 billion of its accounts, compared with an estimate of more than 1 billion disclosed in December.

In March, federal prosecutors charged two Russian intelligence agents and two hackers with masterminding the 2014 cybertheft, the first time the US has charged Russia-linked hackers for alleged cybercrimes. Of the accused, one was arrested. Russia has denied the allegations, and there has been some speculation that the attacks were actually planned by the same North Korea-linked group of hackers that perpetrated the 2014 Sony hacks.

According to Reuters, Special Agent Jack Bennett of the FBI’s San Francisco Division said in March the 2013 breach was unrelated to the one Yahoo disclosed in December and that an investigation of the larger incident was continuing.

“We now know that Russian intelligence officers and state-sponsored hackers were responsible for highly complex and sophisticated attacks on Yahoo’s systems,” Mayer said on Wednesday.

The Senate Commerce Committee took the unusual step of subpoenaing Mayer to testify on Oct. 25 after a representative for Mayer declined multiple requests for her voluntarily testimony. A representative for Mayer told Reuters she was appearing voluntarily.

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RumpleShitzkin's picture

Oh, why the fuck not.

E.F. Mutton's picture

>>Competent CEO

>>Make Me a Sammich

Bastiat's picture

I guess they're just better than we are.

El Oregonian's picture


Say it ain't so...

Shemp 4 Victory's picture

The last refuge of ineptitude: blaming Russian hackers.

Delving Eye's picture

She is the epitome of ineptitude. 

fx's picture

If there were no Russians on this planet, the d33p $hit and silicon valley would have created them by now.

Amazing, how powerful this "regional power" with "limited technological know how" seems to be.

What a poor farce all that is!

wee-weed up's picture

Yep, she's yet another cog in the Liberal Hive-Mind.

BennyBoy's picture


Still waiting for any evidence the russians did it.

Or colluded with Trump.

Any evidence.

JimmyJones's picture

Sorry but this is a typical woman's response blame everyone and everything on their short comings on someone or something other then themselves.  Don't worry about it Miss Mayer, its not the first time and will not be the last.  People act as people act.  Men are men, women are women.  Just an FYI, if you actually look at why you failed you can actually improve yourself but that means holding yourself accountable.

Now back to fantasy land where Men and Women are and act exactly the same, on avg.

GeezerGeek's picture

Go to most colleges these days and you'll find plenty of people with XY genes acting much like people with XX genes. It's something in the water, or in the air, or in the vaccines, or ... in something else.

Got The Wrong No's picture

I swear, those damn Russians are bombarding my house with some kind of Penus Wave that keeps making my dick hard. Then I mysteriously find myself on a Russian Mail Order Bride web site. Those no good Diabolical Bastards. 

Promethus's picture

Strap on your tin foil penis helmet.  Find the instructions on Yahoo. 

not dead yet's picture

According to the experts Sony wasn't hacked, it was an inside job by a PO'd employee. Not North Korea as the chump who wrote this article says. Obama didn't want to waste the opportunity to blame the Norks even if it wasn't true. He claimed hacking a movie studio was a danger to US security. With recent revelations it just might impact US national security if the current pedofile scandal in Hollywood spreads to DC.

Joe Davola's picture

Nah - NSA/FBI/CIA had a hard wired exit path, so no need to hack.

Richard Chesler's picture

Let me guess... she's a democrat?


JimmyJones's picture

What gave it away, the first News article on the Yahoo home page being a negative one on Trump since he won the election?


Says the bitch who runs Yahoo's security software on a Commodor 64 with the revolutionary new cassette tape hard drive. Woo hoo for high tec. 

land_of_the_few's picture

She's not so snobby, she uses a 5-pin DIN to 3.5mm mono plug and an external C-90 warp drive. Builtins are for soft spoiled lady tech-oligarchs, not Metro-Golem-Mayer! She has rough and horny hands like Cate Blanchett!

ebworthen's picture

Never the Chinese, because they're such cute little people who make delicious food.

Consuelo's picture



And most excellent & reliable computers that we all here on this forum are banging away at right now.

Funny that...

FORD_FIESTA's picture

And they make great HOOKERS!

land_of_the_few's picture

Chinese have an absolutely refreshing and open approach to bedroom matters. Allegedly. How much is a one-way ticket to Harbin again? ;)

Bay of Pigs's picture

We just need moar Intelligence agencies and moar money to root them all out.


JohnGaltUk's picture

I dont know about you guys but these Russians are running rings round us. With billions we spend on the millitary, CIA, FBI, MI5 and MI6 and these guys are stealing USA elections, the BREXIT vote in the UK. Not a beep from any of our security agencies until after the fact. What have we got a bunch a Homer Simpsons asleep at the wheel.

They should ALL be fired, every last one of them. They are clowns.

Thought Processor's picture



You don't need to hack sheer stupidity.  It hacks itself.

1stepcloser's picture

Hmm aren't you supposed to prevent the attacks?  So I blame you Cunt! 

Catahoula's picture

Grossly and obscenely overpaid incompetent cunt

ClickNLook's picture

Using C-word was uncalled for.

And who is competent and is not grossly overpaid nowadays?

Loyalty to the swamp is all it takes.

medium giraffe's picture

Uh oh, it's the Cunt Police.  Look busy guys.

TheReplacement's picture

No, he is correct.  There is no reason to slander genuine cunts by associating them with the likes of (((Mayer))).

Consuelo's picture



Use of the term Cunt is rarely ever uncalled for.   

In fact, next to the word F-u-c-k, nothing quite excites, nor rolls off the palate so exquisitely as the term: Cunt.   

In addition, nothing quite directs such accuracy as does the word: Cunt.

Lastly, nothing quite elicits the fuse-blowing response from being called: A Cunt.



Implied Violins's picture

Cunt is just pussy with a taint of asshole.

medium giraffe's picture

ffs, I thought we'd heard the last from that waste of oxygen

shankster's picture

My phone rings funny. I blamed Russia and now it still rings funny.

BorraChoom's picture

Marissa made out like a Somali Pirate while destroying the place in the process.

Yukon Cornholius's picture

Those aren't pirates, it's just a bunch of black people.

shovelhead's picture

Was there ever something to destroy?

land_of_the_few's picture

That's not Marissa, it's Putin in a poledancer's wig!

Ahhhmahgaaaaad get down! Chewing gum in ears, Stolte recommends to avoid severe jingoism damage! Jingoism preservation is top priority, even before Nørsk gonads!

rtalcott's picture

Yahoo was toast when she took the gig...she just planted it a few feet deeper.

ToSoft4Truth's picture

Russians intercepted my Auto-Pay. 

Chupacabra-322's picture

Took the Cunt two months to finally settle on the “Russia” False Narrative PsyOp Gas Light excuse?


Squid Viscous's picture

russians forced her to suck cock to climb the corporate ladder too, i'm sure