Bill Blain: "The UK Vs Europe, The Best Comedy Show Ever!"

Tyler Durden's picture

Blain's Morning Porridge, Nov 9th 2017, By Bill Blain of Mint Partners

The UK vs Europe, the best comedy show ever!

“Hold tight, wait till the party’s over, hold tight, we’re in for nasty weather…”

You really can’t make this stuff up. Get out the blunted spoons as the EU demands UK pays to play or forget a December start to real talks. The UK government in disarray. Global investors shaking their heads asking WTF and getting a bit bored and disinterested by it.

It could be a top class comedy.

Imagine the scene… A wood panelled office in Downing Street; Theresa Maybemight is trying to rebalance her cabinet. After carelessly losing a remainer last week, she has to sack a Brexiteer this week. Howls of hysterical studio laughter as cosmic balance is restored by chucking another one to the wolves.. Till tomorrow… as a blonde chubby bloke winks to camera…

Back in Brussells (actually Berlin, cos let’s be honest about it) a group of German experts have reviewed the situation and concluded Brexit might be bad for Germany (in comedy German accents) so therefore it can’t happen. End of discussion. Crashing minor chords. Their stooges in Brussels read out a demand for “One Gizillionbillion dollars” in a passable Dr Evil impersonation (comedy Belgian accents) and give poor little Theresa six weeks to pay. Or else…

Meanwhile, way down south in Italy, smiling comic character Silvio Berlusconi bounces back on stage with this new Lega Nord comic sidekicks making sexist jokes, suggestively squeezing some melons like it was 1970 all over again, and spending loads and loads of other peoples’ money to get re-elected.. When sidekick asks who’s going to pay for it, he delivers the classic punchline “Oh, don’t a-worry (classic Italian comedy accent), Mario Draghi will “do whatever it takes”….

Boom Boom.. Closing credits.

At this point it might be worth asking why the UK ever got involved in Europe in the first place. Fortunately, a record of a conversation between a Cabinet Minister and his Permanent Secretary (Civil Service head) was uncovered in recently released cabinet papers from 1980:

Sir Humphrey (for it is he..): Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it’s worked so well?

Jim Hacker MP: That’s all ancient history, surely?

Sir Humphrey: Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing [the EEC] up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn’t work. Now that we’re inside we can make a complete pig’s breakfast of the whole thing: set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch… The Foreign Office is terribly pleased; it’s just like old times.

Hacker: But surely we’re all committed to the European ideal?

Sir Humphrey: [chuckles] Really, minister.

Hacker: What appalling cynicism.

Sir Humphrey: Yes… We call it diplomacy, minister.

Back on Planet Rest-of-the-world…

Stock markets and bond spreads continue to defy gravity. It feels like many of the bears are in capitulation mode, finally accepting they can’t afford to sit on the sidelines, un-invested in these soar-a-way markets. There is little consolation from sitting safe and not making any money when markets continue to ratchet tighter every day.

The data continues to look solid – the quarterly results season was strong, the indications of stronger global growth continue to mount, and we’re even seeing signs of some wage inflation. The threat of an oil-price shock pulling down the global feel-good seems to have receded.  You can’t wait forever to buy the dips when the dips aren’t coming!

On the other hand, waiting for the correction is like watching for the kettle to boil – you know it will.. but when? What might trigger a turnover? Middle East, China Lending.. who knows, get over it and Buy, Buy, Buy!

Of course, you could wake up, smell the coffee, and conclude it can’t last forever. And then look for assets that are uncorrelated to the inflated financial asset markets.

One of the uncorrelated alternative markets I particularly like is aviation. For anyone unconvinced on aviation assets then the news Boeing just announced $37 bln of Chinese orders for 300 aircraft is worth noting. Sure, it gives Trump an opportunity to brag and get closer towards his $200 bln of new business while in China target, but in fact it’s nothing particularly special in terms of aviation spending.

Over the next two decades, we expect to see over 800 aircraft delivered every year into the Asian markets – they all need to be financed!

The leading aviation forecasters agree the next 20-years are going to see a global shortage of aviation assets. Rising Economic Growth, improving Living Standards, and Urbanisation will lead to a very large increase in the demand for new and replacement passenger aircraft. Over the next 20 years, aggregate demand will surpass 39,500 new commercial jet airliners. Over half new aircraft will be delivered in the growing Asian market with solid growth in North America and Europe. The number of aircraft in service will increase from 22,510 to over 45,000 – the bulk of which will be regional single aisle aircraft – meaning older aircraft are likely to appreciate also as service lives increase, leading to further aviation opportunities in engines and spare parts.

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buzzsaw99's picture

ew, ick!  she kissed that maggot?

StackShinyStuff's picture

Come on.  Trump versus the left is the ultimate comedy.  it's not even close.  

popeye's picture

au contraire - its hard to beat Yes Minister! Stunningly good comedy, probably because it seems so close to our guess of what reality may be.


The Onion lost its magic as every news report seems like its from ONN (I often check the by-line!).


Trump is less subtle - more like slapstick. Suits those of you who liked the Three Stooges. You can see it coming but cant believe it actually happened. Incredulity following events of utter stupidity.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Bread and circuses, nothing more.


Snípéir_Ag_Obair's picture

The EU is primarily a central banker scheme which craves more debt serfs. It is and has always been supported by Jews transnationally.

There will be no real Brexit.

That is, the primary near term goal is destroying indigenous ('white') ethnic/cultural majorities. That MUST happen. The immivasion both destroys white Christian, distinct 'nations' and perpetuates the Jewish (mostly) controlled fiat ponzi.

An EU army will help further depopulate Whites, create debt etc.

Its all quite obvious when you stop assuming that a transnational hyperethnocentric elite that hates the dominant religion and everywhere advocates for mass immigration, whose god blessed genocide and usury for outsiders only... are capable of 'humanism' qua group...

and when you realize that sometimes something or someone is hated across broad seas of time and space BECAUSE of something inherent to that something or someone.

khnum's picture

Yes its all theatre and there wont be any Brexit dont be fooled however the three financial families the Rothschilds,the Morgans and the Rockerfellers are subject to Jesuit not zionist control families such as the Rothschilds use their jewish background as a fauze to cover their sinister activities and the inquisition continues in Syria and other places its most recent format in 1965 when its comes to world domination your key player is in Rome not Tel Aviv.

Snípéir_Ag_Obair's picture


The 'its not jewish bankers/oligarchs/lobbyists but really jesuit priests' thing is absolutely hysterical.

Space aliens is less inane.

Work on it.

I'll grant that it is a theory that works on certain very stupid and dogmatized types... like many Scoffield Hoax victims (Evangelicals/ Xian Zios)

seek Truth to find God, not god to find truth.

khnum's picture

Eric Von Phelps Vatican assassins read it,the greatest trick of the devil is to convince people he doesn't exist

Brazen Heist's picture

Theresa is not looking like an iron lady at all.

Panic Mode's picture

She needs to go to old people home.

Stan522's picture


I don't care about Europe or their socialist problems. All of their issues are self inflicted from their dystopian views....

falak pema's picture

Haha !

Brexit is to the EU what the Duck is to China; a double comedy show of anglosphere's meltdown as they burn the own Imperial boats to the  past!

Hernan Cortes did that but then he Conquistadored ! He was on mission Creep !

Is the Duck prepared to burn China  and is Lady May prepared to Waterloo the EU ?

Or does it stay a comedy show ?

Bill of Rights's picture

I say fuck'em both and I hope they implode.

youngman's picture

Pay it in Venezuelas Bolivars

quasi_verbatim's picture

Aviation? Post-Brexit we won't have no stinking aviation. Not a bird will fly, nor a sparrow fall, over London skies.

Panic Mode's picture

May is a total useless twat.

Rex Andrus's picture

She's a useful twat to the imperialist despots aka "globalists".

Arrest Hillary's picture

Trump will get his tax cut .... before the UK get's it's "Brexit" ? (Is the MSM ignoring Trump's triumphant trip to the far east ?)

Rex Andrus's picture

You think this is funny? You're just going to love it when the SAS, MI5, CIA and FBI organize revolutionary controlled opposition groups and start bombing and killing civilians for the next 50 years, then occupy the countries they identitfy as the "state sponsors" of their ops.

wardawg12's picture

Or, on the other hand, Trump and the military expose and flush the pedos and other filth from the system(re: SAS,MI5, CIA and FBI). At which point the collective world, kicks back, props its' feet up, tokes a bowl, and starts doing business like plain natural folk. Chill man, it's gonna be fine.

ipso_facto's picture

'Rising Economic Growth, improving Living Standards, and Urbanisation will lead to a very large increase in the demand for new and replacement passenger aircraft.'

It's so fun to play in the Hyper-Economy.

Joe A's picture

"At this point it might be worth asking why the UK ever got involved in Europe in the first place. Fortunately, a record of a conversation between a Cabinet Minister and his Permanent Secretary (Civil Service head) was uncovered in recently released cabinet papers from 1980:"

Really? This author is citing an episode of that brilliant British comedy of the 80s without calling it so? But instead calls it recently disclosed cabinet papers from the 80s? Seriously? I guess he is taking a piss.

Here is the episode. Absolutely brilliant British comedy:

(scroll to 2:18)

I cannot imagine a Brit falling for this but somebody else might fall for that. Especially somebody born after the 80s.

Ghordius's picture

"Yes, Minister" and "Yes, Prime Minister". still brilliant comedy

Priti Patel. look it up, with "resigned" in the search. Fervent Remainers and the anti-Tory press are having "a breakfast" on her

Joe A's picture

Those were the days of great comedy. Britain at its best. "Yes, Minister" and "Yes, Prime Minister", and Fawlty Towers, the Black Adder, Not the Nine o'Clock News, The Young Ones, Dad's Army.....those were the days.

medium giraffe's picture

I love that clip. & the show.


another favourite: monty python, merchant banker

Sandmann's picture

At this point it might be worth asking why the USA ever got involved in the Americas in the first place.

BritBob's picture

Denmark has warned the EU to stop playing “games”


Denmark has warned the EU to stop playing “games”over the Brexit divorce bill and has urged Brussels to begin talks on trade. Finance minister Kristian Jensen has said: In any political negotiations, there is not enough time, not enough money, not enough this, not enough that. This is part of the game. Because what we are dealing with here is not rocket science… We are now on the same page … In my view it is rather important we get into a more close and more speedy process on concluding some of the issues…The UK is a great trading partner of EU27, a strong ally in defence and security, so we need to find out how we can have a good and close relationship post-Brexit… it is important that both sides are ready and able to move on. Because otherwise we get into an endgame where things are very precious on time and therefore a greater risk of making decisions that are not welcome.”

medium giraffe's picture

The best comedy show ever will be when we strip them naked and chase them through the streets with pitchforks.

Stan Smith's picture

While most of us on ZH enjoy a good shit show as much as the next guy or gal,  I do think what we're going to see more and more of is folks who simply arent going pay up no matter how much folks stomp their feet about it.    

As long as folks keep buying up bonds for said institutions (or just keep loaning them money) isnt it hard to get to ate up about it?

What happens when that starts happening more here?

Radical Marijuana's picture

Another FLASHBACK to comedy,
foretelling current news realities:

World Collapse Explained in 3 Minutes

Wickedly true humour:

"Called laughing why you sink."

JibjeResearch's picture

May's ass is too loose.... that's why....

What Trump's gain in China is May's lost...

Chinese is making fun of May's British.... that's funny ahahahhahah

waspwench's picture

The EU won't negotiate.