Conservatives Smash Keurig Machines In Social Media Uproar

Tyler Durden's picture

Over the weekend, CNBC reported on five companies that halted all advertisements of their products on Fox News’ Sean Hannity show. These companies included:

  • 23 and Me
  • Eloquii
  • Keurig
  • Nature’s Bounty
  • Realtor.com

The story began last Thursday, with the sexual allegations against Roy Moore, the Alabama senate candidate who, The WaPo reported that day, made sexual advances towards four teenagers when he was in his early 30s. As of today, there is even a fifth women accusing Moore of sexual misconduct.

After the story broke on Thursday, Fox host Sean Hannity came out and asked his audience to give Moore the benefit of the doubt. According to NYTimes,

Mr. Hannity, describing those actions on his radio show while speaking with a co-host, Lynda McLaughlin, seemed to justify Mr. Moore’s reported conduct by calling one of the encounters “consensual.”

Hours later "On his television show, Mr. Hannity said that the statement “was absolutely wrong” and that he “misspoke.” He then brought up the possibility of accusers lying for money, or for political purposes."

The following day, Angelo Carusone, President of Media Matters, a ‘politically progressive media watchdog’ that monitors “conservative misinformation in the U.S. media” said this to Keurig:

On Saturday, Keurig responded by saying “we worked with our media partner and FOX news to stop our ad from airing during the Sean Hannity Show”.

What happened next was a firestorm on social media that swept across the United States late Saturday into Sunday. The bulk of the trend #BoycottKeurig exploded on Sunday, as many conservatives who have boycotted the NFL because of kneeling problems, decided they had to urgently get involved in the latest bitter debate splitting America. We start with ‘Snoop Baily’ who smashed the living hell out of Keurig with a driver.

To keep it short, this is what it looks like when a sizable chunk of the US decides to go "Office Space":

For a while, Hannity played along with the trend empowering it to grow through his enormous social media network as conservatives were called to action to smash Keurig machines. As the day closed, he then told his audience that he was buying 500 coffee makers to give away on Monday.

On Monday, however, the Krush The Keurig fun ended when Hannity told his audience to stop smashing the Coffee machines, after Keurig CEO apologizes for ‘taking sides’…

Moore's sexual allegations aside, which have yet to be rejected or confirmed, what is more concerning is the blind willingness of substantial portions of the population to succumb to instant mobilization through social media and or a media figure(s), to collectively work as a unit in completing tasks, in this case the destruction of one's own property. Ironically, something tells us that for Keurig the news that its machines were being "Office Spaced" across the nation, was music to the CEO's ears (think replacement value), not to mention the unprecedented media exposure as virtually everyone spent the day talking about the incident (think unlimited advertising).

There's more: as The Atlantic writes, "in destroying Keurig machines also clearly aligns these people with a global environmentalist movement. In 2015, the “Kill the K-Cup” campaign took hold among those concerned about the net waste of so many pods. A Canadian advocate encouraged people to publicly abandon the machines."

Now America finds itself in the midst of hordes of angry people with clubs who will soon be going through caffeine withdrawal. They could go to Starbucks, though the chain has also been condemned and boycotted by some isolationist conservatives, since earlier this year it promised to hire 10,000 refugees in response to President Trump’s executive order barring them from the country.

Meanwhile, always eager to ride on the latest social media trend, corporate America has promptly noticed the events over the past 72 hours, and it is guaranteed that many more companies will follow in Keurig's activist footsteps. Who knows: the resultant breaking and smashing of various "resistance" products may just end up being the CapEx spark that the US economy so desperately needs...

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Giant Meteor's picture

There are better reasons to destroy them ..

Not the least of which is , they suck ..

greenskeeper carl's picture

This shit is so stupid. They already got your money, now you are just destroying your own shit. Are you going to burn your house down because you bought it on realtor, too? I am all for boycotting things, plenty of place DO NOT get my money anymore, but this comes across as pretty damn childish.

Giant Meteor's picture

Yes, yes of course it's childish ..

But as I mentioned, no great loss ..

Let's us just say the little woman had to have one ..

I've wanted to destroy it since day one ...

That shit ain't coffee 

cossack55's picture

Take a knee on top of your Keurig while watching Jerry Jones on the sidelines> Winning!!!

Giant Meteor's picture

LoL --

Thanks, keep those suggestions coming !

overbet's picture

I like the clueless moron taking a stand against liberal corps while wearing his under armour shirt. 

Shemp 4 Victory's picture

US television clown urges children to smash "Kuering Coffee Machines" and similar unneeded fripperies, live lives of peasant simplicity, as protest against capitalist globalism.

https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/930049076741189632

Fish Gone Bad's picture

If Gloria Allred is involved, it's about politics.  Doesn't she have a board action (https://lawandcrime.com/uncategorized/exclusive-gloria-allred-under-stat...)?  Don't listen to Hannity, don't use Keurig, don't care.

Rusty Shorts's picture
Best of wallstreetpro2 (greatest fuckin hits) - 2 of 3

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyE1GoPtLyI

bfellow's picture

Load it up with 8lbs of Tannerite and set it off with a bump stocked AR-15 using a high cap mag. ‘Murica - defending liberty one baited boycott at a time.

Son of Loki's picture

Nature's Bounty sucks in my personal experience.

 

Seems like Moody's agrees:

 

Rating Action:
Moody's places Nature's Bounty's ratings under review for downgrade Global Credit Research - 25 Jul 2017 https://www.moodys.com/research/Moodys-places-Natures-Bountys-ratings-un...
Ex-Oligarch's picture

Nutritional supplements are a scam.

And as far as I'm concerned, Zillow offers a superior site to realtor.com.

No idea what those other advertisers produce, but then I don't watch Hannity.

Juggernaut x2's picture

Can we just start the shooting part of the Civil War- I hate foreplay.

Dane Bramage's picture

Sell them and drive down the price would be a better strategy.  But, yeah.. biofilm, plastic - yech.  This from a home roaster with KitchenAid KES2102CA Pro Line Series Espresso Maker & KCG0702OB Burr Coffee Grinder.

Giant Meteor's picture

Thanks for that ..

And yet, strangely, you still have Dane Bramage  ..

;)

Meh, it's a crazy, crazy world !

dark pools of soros's picture

so many better ways to make coffee you dont need k-cups or starbucks what the fuck people dont you have anything real?

Son of Loki's picture

Screw Keurig!

I'll only buy my coffee from an infected rapefugee at Starbucks, fresh off the boat and still draining pus from his lungs and coughing thick goobers.

 

 

 

Hunter S. Thompson's picture

Better strategy is buy, use once and return to the store. Returns are way more crippling to a manufacture. 

The_Dude's picture

Hmm...I don't recall Media Matters demanding advertiser boycotts of Hollywood rapists and pedophiles.

Tarzan's picture

On the contrary, Progressive Hollywood rapists and pedophiles are coddled, while Moore is smeared for daring to speak his mind, trump style.

Where were these creeps when bill was prowling the Whitehouse for interns, when Jimmy Sevile was raping children while running the BBC, when Bryan Singer was raping young men in front of his Hollywood pals?

Top Hollywood bosses - including former Fox head, top BBC executive and Disney TV president -accused alongside X-men director Brian Singer of abusing young boys

Their attack on Moore has more to do with covering for their own then exposing Moore.  They're like children, saying, see they do it too, he kissed a teenager 40 years ago.......

It's likely Moore will still win, then liberal democrats and republicans alike will shit themselves in dismay.  their propaganda machine is broken and they can't stand the fact, we're just not listening anymore.  If Moore wins under this onslaught, it will be all the proof I need to confirm, they've lost control!

 

TruthHunter's picture

+100  If you haven't roasted your own, you probably haven't had good coffe. 

 

Keep food, especially hot food, away from plastic. 

logicalman's picture

Grind your beans as the kettle is boiling. Don't be shy on the beans

Put beans in a French Press and add water from kettle.

Wait 5 minutes.

Even cheap coffee tastes good that way. Good beans produce something close to the nectar of the gods.

I was asked at work last week if I was drinking ink. I do like it strong.

Keurig produces, to modify a quote from the Hitchhiker's Guide, a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coffee.

Son of Loki's picture

In 2016 Keurig Green Mountain was acquired by an investor group led by private-equity firm JAB Holding Company for nearly $14 billion.

 

JAB Holding Company[2] (“JAB” or Joh. A. Benckiser) is a privately held business group[3] headquartered in Luxembourg focused on investments in companies with premium brands in the consumer goods category.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JAB_Holding_Company

 

I wonder if those Luxembergers have any clue what's going on with their company as the local management tarnishes its image and most likely crushes its up-coming Christmas sales?

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

For god sakes! When are you gents going to learn to say no to women. Sheesh.

I have been to so many women's houses that are filled to the roof with the most inane kitchen items. Salad shooters, various choppers. Waffle irons in different designs. ( I guess the heart shaped one was a gotta have item). The place is often pristine. I comment how their kitchens are so much more neat and organized then mine only to find out they never cook. WTF?

I guess I'm not that avant-garde. I grind my beans ( good quality) and use a drip maker with a metal carafe. On weekends we use a French press. Stellar coffee reasonably priced and very simple to make. Grounds are worked into the soil afterwards.

Miffed

Rubiconsiatista's picture

Lol. Seems like you have life figured out good and simple. I like the drip maker too. The size of some of these kitchen contraptions is crazy. I think it appeals to the 'mines bigger than yours crowd.'

logicalman's picture

One GOOD quality knife can replace all kinds of contraptions, if you know how to drive one.

You can(?) grind coffee with a mortar and pestle if you really want to work for it, but you can't beat 'em for spices.

Saves a lot of space with a little bit of extra work

I wouldn't like to give up my hand blender, however. An awesome kitchen tool.

As for coffee, French press for me, every time.

 

Giant Meteor's picture

Thanks for that. Also, thanks to you and other's for some great suggestions. I do perk in a stainless pot on top of stove, but will be keeping all of these great suggestions in mind. As to just saying no .. well sure there are battle lines, Cure Rigged Coffee maker just wasn't one of them ;)

cheech_wizard's picture

>When are you gents going to learn to say no to women

When I learn to say no to myself... I love kitchen stuff, but then again I bake and cook, so I have an ulterior motive for buying kitchen stuff. She almost tore my head off when I got her a Kitchen-Aid mixer 2 Christmas' ago. I wasn't about to tell her I didn't buy it for her.

Standard Disclaimer: Cue Gordon Ramsay.

CNONC's picture

Sounds like me.  The kitchen stuff is MINE.  Stay the hell out of my kitchen.

uncle_vito's picture

I like a Mr. Coffee much better.   With a Keurig you have to wait 2 minutes for each cup of coffee.   With a Mr Coffee, after it has brewed, you just instanly pour it out.

Giant Meteor's picture

I get it .. All this stuff came in fashion  around the same time .. Fast food, fast mart, gas and go, plastic this and plastic that, must haves, .. for so called convienience .. I note also the ascendancy of the debt fueled model, planned obsolescence, cancer statistics, rising health care costs, un and underemployment and the conundrum of over priced "education .."

Now we have every day low low prices of said plastic junk, over priced autos, plastic over priced crap shack houses, fraud accounting, fraud markets, GMO frankenfoods, multiple health care crisis, epidemics  -- to name a few ..  And I think of all this , because you innocently mention Mr. Coffee ...

You see, it was Mr. Coffee all along ..

But seriously Uncle Vito, it is like this. If you never had a real farm fresh egg, eggs not mass produced in horrendous conditions, you wouldn't know there is a world of difference from them and the dreck called eggs that are mass producd and purchased in the super market. Being there is no comparison in taste, look, texture, color .. in other words .. between store bought eggs, and real farm eggs, as both are called eggs, but that is where the comparison ends ..

It is the same  way with coffee ..

Human beans are very much creatures of habit, and highly susceptible to bad habits ;)

It'll probably be our undoing ..

cheech_wizard's picture

I know just what you are talking about.

My saving grace is that my wife could kill a plastic plant. Imagine her with technology... (it didn't last a year)

Standard Disclaimer: If this ever gets back to her, I'll hunt you down and shrink your head to the size of a Keurig cup... like real wizarding shit... http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e49/RomerOne/ch_trick.jpg

 

NoPension's picture

Oh...no,no,..noooo!

The money in these little shit boxes is in the k-cups. They could give these machines away, if they knew you would only buy their cups.

I was once in the new car business. I figured out at a young age, I could give you the car, if you had to only come to me for fuel!

Utopia Planitia's picture

It is the same as an inkjet printer (or any printer).  The money is in the ink (toner).  That's why pretty decent printers are sooo cheap.  Those little cups with the thick goop in it are satan's spawn, and where the $$$ are.

11b40's picture

I would say it is very effectively getting a message across.  The fact that we are here commenting on it is all the proof needed to make that point.  I bet the guys in the Keurig boardroom get it.  A lot of retailers will, too, when the inventory backs up.

BarkingCat's picture

I seriously doubt that these people replace their  destroying Keurig machines with new ones from the same company. Frankly I don't drink coffee so I  don't give a shit.

I tried Keurig once for hot chocolate. It was extremely nasty.

Hal n back's picture

Warm up some milk, add cocoa and sugar, and you are rolling.

curbjob's picture

So any potential advertiser who might consider placing an add on Hannity's show just took a rethink  ...

this is what the host will do to the hands that feed him if they pull their advertising because of public demand.

That's how the real world works.

 

I doubt Fox is happy with his antics  .. he'll be doing podcasts by years end.

dark pools of soros's picture

your brain needs a few more smacks to become total mud

ACP's picture

They already got your money, now you are just destroying your own shit.

Actually, they're now going to be saving money not buying that pre packaged overpriced coffee.

Giant Meteor's picture

Bingo ..

That is a great point ..

Destroying the fucking thing, even after purchase, will ultimately be saving money !

Of course it would have been better never to have bought it at all ..

dark pools of soros's picture

donate it to charity and write it off

Blue Steel 309's picture

Making a statement matters, retard. Or else why is there propaganda?

jmack's picture

you have to buy cups to feed the machine.  so destroying your machine and using regular coffee maker actually does hurt them in the pocket book.  Unless you are already using a generic screen cup and buying or grinding non k-cup coffee anyway.

Tugg McFancy's picture

I have no clue what Kurig or whatever it's called is, but are you telling me up till now these idiots had bought themselves into a proprietary system which locks you into further purchases from the company?

Fuck me people are dumb. Would you buy a Ford that only took Ford fuel?

ReasonForLife's picture

They got your money, but the bad publicity they are getting is much worse for them now.

monk27's picture

Keurig ? Who buys that shit, anyway ? If you want real coffee make it Turkish. All you need is a metallic kettle and some water...

NAV's picture

It is not childish, greenskeeper; it is an adult protest. And it’s about time that the adults started standing up for principle.

JuliaS's picture

Indeed, these protestors are doing what the product was designed to do in first place - they help it fail. Are they boycotting coffee or any other coffeemakers who engage in an identical business practice? Do they boycott cash crops such as coffee that are grown by and distributed the likes of monsanto? Hell no!

This is yet another ice bucket / pokemon go attention whoring trend where with little or no effort people get to pretend like they're doing something. They ain't got nothing on the original "hater" - the wallstreetpro2. That guy had balls - smashing slave labor goods indiscriminately as oppose to a coffee maker that already equates to trash by most owners.

I owned that very same model that was gifted to me. Used up the cartridges and took it to a thrift store. That does more damage to Keurig if you ask me. Someone else will get to own one for pennies with the company receiving no compensation... other than through coffee sales where they make most of their money anyway.

This is empty posturing. Buying and smashing things? Yeah. That takes real effort! How about going after actual people, instead of some arbitrary meta representation of a loose ideology. That's what I liked about wallstreetpro2. He named named. I'd watch his videos and google people to know which specific banker or CEO he called out and I'd learn what made them worthy of his criticism.

Sports scandals? Who cares. It's mindless entertainment to begin with. The entertainment industry is there for distraction. We need to go after banks and bankers. Everyone else is a mere puppet... and to get to bankers, it takes a little more effort than smashing a plastic kettle with dials.

Peak Finance's picture

Nope.

Clearly, you are not familiar with Keurig

It's like a razor and the blades

The money is not in the coffee maker, which is built like shit, plastic junk, the money is in selling the stupid K-Cups and the branding and licensing rights to the K-Cup.

Boutique and gourmet K-Cups can be as much as 80 cents a piece. Yes, 8o fucking cents for a cup of coffee you make yourself at home. 

Every broken Keurig represents a TON of potential lost future income.