Conservatives Smash Keurig Machines In Social Media Uproar

Tyler Durden's picture

Over the weekend, CNBC reported on five companies that halted all advertisements of their products on Fox News’ Sean Hannity show. These companies included:

  • 23 and Me
  • Eloquii
  • Keurig
  • Nature’s Bounty
  • Realtor.com

The story began last Thursday, with the sexual allegations against Roy Moore, the Alabama senate candidate who, The WaPo reported that day, made sexual advances towards four teenagers when he was in his early 30s. As of today, there is even a fifth women accusing Moore of sexual misconduct.

After the story broke on Thursday, Fox host Sean Hannity came out and asked his audience to give Moore the benefit of the doubt. According to NYTimes,

Mr. Hannity, describing those actions on his radio show while speaking with a co-host, Lynda McLaughlin, seemed to justify Mr. Moore’s reported conduct by calling one of the encounters “consensual.”

Hours later "On his television show, Mr. Hannity said that the statement “was absolutely wrong” and that he “misspoke.” He then brought up the possibility of accusers lying for money, or for political purposes."

The following day, Angelo Carusone, President of Media Matters, a ‘politically progressive media watchdog’ that monitors “conservative misinformation in the U.S. media” said this to Keurig:

On Saturday, Keurig responded by saying “we worked with our media partner and FOX news to stop our ad from airing during the Sean Hannity Show”.

What happened next was a firestorm on social media that swept across the United States late Saturday into Sunday. The bulk of the trend #BoycottKeurig exploded on Sunday, as many conservatives who have boycotted the NFL because of kneeling problems, decided they had to urgently get involved in the latest bitter debate splitting America. We start with ‘Snoop Baily’ who smashed the living hell out of Keurig with a driver.

To keep it short, this is what it looks like when a sizable chunk of the US decides to go "Office Space":

For a while, Hannity played along with the trend empowering it to grow through his enormous social media network as conservatives were called to action to smash Keurig machines. As the day closed, he then told his audience that he was buying 500 coffee makers to give away on Monday.

On Monday, however, the Krush The Keurig fun ended when Hannity told his audience to stop smashing the Coffee machines, after Keurig CEO apologizes for ‘taking sides’…

Moore's sexual allegations aside, which have yet to be rejected or confirmed, what is more concerning is the blind willingness of substantial portions of the population to succumb to instant mobilization through social media and or a media figure(s), to collectively work as a unit in completing tasks, in this case the destruction of one's own property. Ironically, something tells us that for Keurig the news that its machines were being "Office Spaced" across the nation, was music to the CEO's ears (think replacement value), not to mention the unprecedented media exposure as virtually everyone spent the day talking about the incident (think unlimited advertising).

There's more: as The Atlantic writes, "in destroying Keurig machines also clearly aligns these people with a global environmentalist movement. In 2015, the “Kill the K-Cup” campaign took hold among those concerned about the net waste of so many pods. A Canadian advocate encouraged people to publicly abandon the machines."

Now America finds itself in the midst of hordes of angry people with clubs who will soon be going through caffeine withdrawal. They could go to Starbucks, though the chain has also been condemned and boycotted by some isolationist conservatives, since earlier this year it promised to hire 10,000 refugees in response to President Trump’s executive order barring them from the country.

Meanwhile, always eager to ride on the latest social media trend, corporate America has promptly noticed the events over the past 72 hours, and it is guaranteed that many more companies will follow in Keurig's activist footsteps. Who knows: the resultant breaking and smashing of various "resistance" products may just end up being the CapEx spark that the US economy so desperately needs...

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kudocast's picture

Yeh, Fuck Roy Moore, loser piece of shit.

ZD1's picture

Fuck pedophile libtards who make bogus accusations against conservatives. 

Now run along and get some comet pizza with your EBT card. 

 

venturen's picture

$100 water heater.....with $3 coffee pods....LOL

Arthur Schopenhauer's picture

So, I want you to get up now. I want you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: I'M AS MAD AS HELL, I'M GONNA SMASH MY KEURIG, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

YourAverageJoe's picture

I've always disliked those stupid cartidges you stick in the gadget to make a cup of coffee, especially when guests come over, but my wife just had to have one.

It takes up a lot of counter space, and only makes one cup at a time.

I do love my old Faberware electric coffee pot. That sucker will make 6-8 cups of coffee in just a little more time than warming up that cartridge gadget and making that single cup, and you control the strength of the coffee.

kudocast's picture

I'm going to buy two Keurig machines tomorrow, to show my support for Keurig and their decision to stop advertising on Faux I mean Fox News.

I don't drink coffee, but recently found out that I can make tea and hot chocolate with a Keurig.  

Here's to all the new customers Keurig will get because of their decision to dump Fox News!

TheFederalistPapers's picture

I hope you die from caffeine poisoning. Fucker.

Anteater's picture

I just signed a 200,000 unit silkscreen tee shirt deal with 

a Caribbean company to print: 'Moore Keurig!' and sell it

at holiday faires next to the coffee vending booths. It will

have a stylized 13-year old teenager girl, like Starbucks,

and evangelical themes like Satan and the Red Koolaid.

All the profits will be donated to Rapture Their Asses(R)

 

kudocast's picture

I hope you just die, no particular cause, just die FUCKER.

mastersnark's picture

That hoax about Judge Moore is still a thing?

artichoke's picture

A Keurig machine doesn't do anything.  You need pre-processed coffee in the pod, and it just punches a hole and runs water thru it.  Why is it so big and heavy.

 

Now, my little Saeco totally automatic espresso machine does something.  And I bought it for about $200 on sale at Costco.  (they probably don't have that sale any more.)  But it does something, I buy whole coffee beans and it actually brews them, everything fresh.

slipreedip's picture

+1 Yes I found this review helpful.

RayKu's picture

Right, left, center, doesn't matter. Accusation is the new guilty. Everyone pouncing on their favorite target because they want it to be true is setting themselves up for the same treatment down the road.

This is not the former USSR, or China, NK, Saudi Arabia, this is susposedly America, you know, innocent until proven guilty... or has that simply gone into the night with a whimper?

GeoffreyT's picture

"Innocent until proven guilty": says the white dude who clearly has had almost no interaction with the criminal justice segments of the legal system in his entire life. 

If the State turns its lidded gaze on you, you will be financially ruined before it even gets to court - and if you have trouble making bail, you can jerk off about the philosophical niceties while you spend 3 years in remand awaiting trial.

.

Seriously: 'innocent until proven guilty' is such a dead letter that you may as well walk into a police station with an RPG and rely on the Second Amendment.

dunce's picture

At least half of their revenue and profit comes from those special pods that only fit thier machine.

GeoffreyT's picture

Only for dummies with more money than sense.

I've had re-useable pods for Nespresso machines (both 'regular' and Dolce Gusto) for over a year, and you can get re-usable K-cups too.

The re-usable 'clones' cost between $3 and $11 on eBay. The $3 ones can be re-used a few hundred times; the $11 ones are fucking metal (not in the sense that "they're tough and cool as fuck", but in the sense that they're made of metal).

Then again, I'm a total cheapskate. Also, I prefer cold-brew - requires literally no effort and you can make 5 litres at a time.

slipreedip's picture

ok. Note to self; things Americans dont like:

a) good coffee

b) having too many appliances that make them angry

c) having their media ayatollahs questioned

 

GeoffreyT's picture

Way to go, fucking retards: ruin a driver and a coffee machine? Fuckwits.

 

These are the sorts of dumb schlubs who would (rightly) have scorned people who do stupid shit like the 'ice bucket challenge' and 'planking' and that shit people do where they kinda look at the crook of their own elbow (I refuse to even remember what that fucking stupid shit is called).

Yet here they are, behaving like retarded sheep, damaging their own property. 

At least the ice bucket challenge didn't cost you $400 for your driver.

Also: fuck people who play golf - a stupid fat old man's way of trying to show off on the cheap: might as well grow a fucking pony tail and buy a 1980s 924 you fucking losers.

cheech_wizard's picture

Speaking on the latest "challenge"... I came across these... "Orbeez" ... Be afraid, be very afraid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFVXsnq230c

Standard Disclaimer: Damn, they are going to take over the world by filling up all available space...

I love your wife's picture

I've got a great taste for good beer, but I can't tell "fine" coffee from Folgers.  The only exception is every cup of coffee I've had in Costa Rica where they brew it through that cloth right at the table.  Good shit.  I bought severl of these machines for Christmas gifts and ended up donating the one I bought for myself to my work.  If I do drink coffee at home, it Folger's Singles.  I really don't give a shit.

gespiri's picture

Maybe all those who don't support the POTUS are impliedly supporting pedophilia and human trafficking.

How do you like that?

Manipuflation's picture

I don't even drink coffee.  Whatever I guess.

MrBoompi's picture

Pre-brewed coffee sucks, so I don't have one of these to smash up.  

Come On Puu See's picture

HOW DID THIS PIECE OF LIBTRARD COMMIE TRASH GET INTO ZH AND PUT UP THIS THINLY VEILED ANTI CONSERVATIVE HIT PIECE?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO JUDGE MOORE WOULD BE CALLED AN AVALANCHE ATTACK, WHERE ONE ACCUSER POPS UP, THEN ANOTHER, THEN ANOTHER, UNTIL THE SHEER MASS OF CONTROVERSY FORCES THE TARGET TO GIVE UP, DESPITE ZERO EVIDENCE OR FACT. THE ACCUSATIONS ALONE WILL PLANT SEEDS OF DOUBT THAT WILL GROW INTO CRIPPLING DAMAGE.  LAWYERS USE SIMILAR TACTICS IN THE COURT ROOM. ALSO KNOWN AS COUNTERINSURGENCY, THE KIND USED BY THE LIKES  OF THE GREEN BERETS.

 

INFOWARS.COM

REVOLUTIONRADIO.ORG

ZEROHEDGE.COM

NATURALNEWS.COM

GEOENGINEERINGWATCH.ORG

FOODBABE.COM

WHATDOESITMEAN.COM

SLICKDEALS.NET

DEALNEWS.COM

freedom1798's picture

Anybody who would buy a Keurig is an idiot.  I can make a decent cup of coffee in two minutes using Trader Joes Joe coffee for $4.99 for 14 ounces, a one cent disposable paper filter, and a plastic funnel I bought at Dollar Tree for a dollar.

AlbertthePudding's picture

THIS IS A WORK BY THE DIRTY DEMS FOR THEIR MASTERS

THE ONLY WAY WE THE PEOPLE CAN FIGHT THESE AH'S IS BY WITHDRAWING OUR SUPPORT FOR THEIR PRODUCTS AND REPRESENTATIVES INT HE CASE OF THE POLITICIANS..

MOORE'S CRITICS WAITED UNTIL A PARTICULARLY CRUCIAL TIME RATHER THAN IN THE PRIMARY FOR HIS ELEVATION TO THE CANDIDATE

 

WHEN IT COMES TO CHICANERY THE DEMS ARE THE BEST GAME IN TOWN...TRUTH BY THE WAY IS AN ORPHAN

InternetToughGuy's picture

Judge Moore touched my breastuses 35 years ago. It was under the shirt, but over the bra. I am still traumatized by it, but I never said anything about it until I found out he was running for senate and poised to speak out against the chrished American institution of faggot marriage.

Gloria Alred is representing me. She is a good lawyer, but she smells like an old jew with too much make-up.

css1971's picture

If the state wasn't so powerful, it wouldn't matter so much who got elected.

Kat Daddy's picture

Hasn't Roy Moore already won four elections in Alabama?  Why are these allegations being made now?  We already know how forthright and honest our good Bolshevik friends are, don't we?

To Hell In A Handbasket's picture

The hypocrisy is just startling. If a company wishes to boycott FOX, then why are conservatives so pissed. This boycott nonsense is only going to polarise and its the fucking crybaby Right which is losing its fucking mind, believing it has more power than it does. LG the brand of my 2 PC monitors, am I meant to smash them up and boycott the company because they stop advertising somewhere?

Jesus fucking Christ. The era of the snowflake is upon us. 

MAGA fucking retards. Some of these fools are dirt poor already and can't afford to be smashing up coffee machines they purchased on credit. lol

Mineshaft Gap's picture

Good! Smash 'em all!

Very soon, if not already, deplorables will see that the greatest power under their command is purchasing power.

Voting won't set them free. The system is too gamed. But at least they can strike back at their enemies by withholding funding for media, sports, Hollywood and consumer goods. This effort may, in time, teach these forces that there's a cost to pay for backing totalitarian liberalism.

FredFlintstone's picture

Too bad the golfer was wearing Under Armor as their CEO is a libtard dipshit. I will send in videos of me ripping up my GQ magazines with LeBron James and now Colin Kaepernick on the cover.

fel.temp.reparatio's picture

destroying gadets purchased on credit to spite the manufacturer...

oh the humanity ;-) heh