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Ambrose Evans-Pritchard Summarizes The Latest Hopium Dud Out Of Europe: "Quatsch, Bêtises, And Eyewash"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday we proclaimed via Twitter, with the now traditional dose of cynical skepticism, that "this week Europe will fail to achieve anything all over again" a statement which apparently was taken to task by some Bloomberg TV anchors this morning who were displeased with our gloomy outlook that this time may not be different. Unfortunately for now it is Cynicism 1 - Naievete 0. The Telegraph's Ambrose Evans-Pritchard gives our friends at Bloomberg TV the low down.

Zilch again from Merkozy

 

No fiscal union, no Eurobonds, no ECB as lender of last resort – yet.

 

Just the usual blather and a revamped Stability Pact (Fiskalunion).

 

Yawn.

 

Merkel seems to have backed off on demands that budget breaches will be justifiable before the European Court, so the Treaty chatter is mostly Quatsch, bêtises, and eyewash.

 

This Merkel climb-down makes it less likely that she will give in on real rescue measures, so why the market exuberance in Italy? Beats me.

 

Private investors will not have to face further haircuts after Greece (if you believe anything they say on this subject) but that was already the case.

 

Nothing further to add at this stage.

Same from Zero Hedge - and we are confident that nothing further will have to be added: Friday will come and go, and Italian bond prices will once again reverse and proceed to resume the "Fear and Bloating" gravitational attraction formation we all know and love. That said, we would be delighted to be proven wrong.

 

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Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:11 | 1947017 AngryGerman
AngryGerman's picture

no sir, they saved the euro, all is well on this side of the ocean...

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:13 | 1947025 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Hehehe- exactly- pay no attention to the swarming masses of workers in the street......

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:15 | 1947035 AngryGerman
AngryGerman's picture

...they are only out for christmas-shopping

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:37 | 1947112 john39
john39's picture

hard to find a good supply of rope and torches these days.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:41 | 1947132 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Funny how huge Christmas has become in good old Hindu India. Goes to show what a consumer fest it is meant to be. BAh...etc.

So, do people like AEP not know what is really happening in the world? Or are they really that dis-ingenuous? Very strange, people taking Kabuki so seriously. Has anyone seen the latest warning from Gerald C?

ORI

/the-plan/

 

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:52 | 1947189 wisefool
wisefool's picture

In Christian mythology, Christ gave a decree about loaves and fishes. a secular explaination might be  that there was a limited amount of food. but there will be plenty if everyone just relaxes and takes just what they need.

In the USA, as reported by Zerohedge, we now have a new statistic associated with the chistmas shopping season. "How many people die each year on black friday from shopping related trauma"

"Ghandi, What do you think about western civilization?" "It think it would be a good idea" I think Christ would have a similar statement about the secularization of the winter festival they put his name on.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 03:13 | 1950065 FlyPaper
FlyPaper's picture

Here's some additional metaphors to consider:

a)  Turned water into wine:  value added production.

b)  Turned a small amount of loaves in fishes into enough to feed hundreds:  made productive use out of what was at hand.

c)  Overturned the tables of the money-changers in the temple:  messed with the monied status quo.

d)  Notably did not make money out of nothing:  sound money principle.  

e)  Raised people from the dead:   [Which campaign should we associate this with?]

f)  Healed the sick.   No nationalized healthcare required.

g)  No dispute over his birthplace.    It wasn't Hawaii.

h)  3 Goldmen with Sachs actually actually gave HIM money?   NOW THATS A MIRACLE !

Merry Christmas ~!

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 15:56 | 1947848 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Advanced copy of December January 2012 FOMC Minutes have leaked out:

 

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Only one dissenting vote.

This is what it sounds like

when doves cry

[This Mortal Coil blares in the background]

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:12 | 1947018 Bazooka
Bazooka's picture

Equities Up = Gold and Silver UP

The fade out on this rip fest will result in:

Equities Down = Gold and Silver Down

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:12 | 1947021 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Lots of Hopium over at Bloomberg.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:14 | 1947029 kito
kito's picture

sheepie, qe3 is coming!! no, really, this time!!! for sure!!!

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:16 | 1947039 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

It MUST! Or what else shall we DO!

In the mean time pass me over that unicorn horn pipe with the Hopium in it.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 20:24 | 1948948 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

debt destruction is coming. The way it comes is just a nicety.

 

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:17 | 1947046 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

"Hopium is a helluva drug."

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:12 | 1947023 knukles
knukles's picture

Well Sarkozy said that they'd taken care of everything.
And they did.
They have the dinner reservations for the meeting in Paris.
Voila!

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:18 | 1947027 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Quatsch, Bêtises, And Eyewash"? only three languages?

He failed to address the matter in Spanish, Portugiese, Italian, Danish, Dutch, Greek...

As far as I know he will be only satisfied by EuroBonds, now this would make him and the City of London really, really happy...

Ah, and printing, of course, he is fond of printing... lots and lots of printing...

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:21 | 1947057 knukles
knukles's picture

Squatsch betties?
Ain't those them really good French pas-t-ree thingies ya'll git outa that there bidette thingie in them funny bathrooms?

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:26 | 1947066 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

lol, yes, sounds like it, doesn't it?

Quatsch is one of those nearly intraducible German words, something like BullShit or Idiocy, perhaps derived from Quark...

You can say it in polite society, it's childish exaggeration is "Quatsch mit Sosse" (with sauce).

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:33 | 1947097 floor
floor's picture

Here is the not so nice Dutch version, LULKOEK

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 20:20 | 1948937 BigJim
BigJim's picture

'LOLQuake' - I like it.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:14 | 1947032 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

On the contrary...all that they are really trying to do is give hope to confidence that they have a plan to move towards a fix...that has been accomplished and will be again with a grand press release on Monday...up 500 pts again...

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:15 | 1947034 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Pritchard's column last week was begging ECB to print.  Has he looked at his holdings and found love of extend/pretend?  I thought he was in the firm "no" camp when it came to debasing the currency?

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:57 | 1947208 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Maybe the best way out of this is to do it as quickly as possible?  Printing is inevitable up until the big hyperinflation crash, that seems to always be what happens in the history books.  Either that or there must be some very big change in the fundamentals of the system, and such change is not easy for society to absorb so it usually will not do so willingly.  So, the faster we print the faster we crash the existing system and then can make changes?

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:20 | 1947048 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Re: "why the market exuberance in Italy?"

Manipulation (central banks or China) and short squeeze.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 14:01 | 1947223 Instant Wealth
Instant Wealth's picture

Sometimes the Italians don't get it.

Reminds me of the story from the tacitus era, when the roman empire sent a patrol on the other side of the rhine river, deep into german tribe territory. Their mission was to explain to the barbarians, that they had to pay taxes from now on.

When they didn't return, the legion sent out another patrol, just to find out, all of the "tax collectors" had been nailed to trees.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:23 | 1947062 wisefool
wisefool's picture

There is a reason the cartoon character named "wimpy" is fat. It works until it doesn't and people start avoiding the hamburger shop. Then there are no hamburgers for anyone.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:26 | 1947071 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

That said, we would be delighted to be proven wrong.

No we wouldn't - but it does sound even-handed   ;)

 

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:27 | 1947073 Ropingdown
Ropingdown's picture

As I watch the financial journalists turn, I laugh.  Many thought that wild printing was irresponsible until they realized that the nominal total of their investment account would be a very small number without the printing.  It reminds me of boxer Mike Tyson's comment: "Everybody has a plan for how to fight me... until they get punched in the mouth."

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:31 | 1947091 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture
It won't work! Italy, Greece, Belgium and France severely cutting entitlements? C'mon. Then the Fed Doves WILL want QE3 especially if the Euro Bailout Bonanza takes hold and investors withdraw from Treasuries. This is like a never ending Big Government/Central Bank nightmare! E1 Trillion Cash Infusion into Eurozone – Fed May Enter “Bailout Bonanza!” – Italy, Belgium, Spain and France Big Winners in Bond Market, US Biggest Loser

http://confoundedinterest.wordpress.com/

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:35 | 1947100 Peter K
Peter K's picture

It's just about getting the wording right.

There isn't any dosh at the back end:)

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:36 | 1947106 oogs66
oogs66's picture

fed and imf and ecb will step up the printing the second the euro leaders pretend they accomplished anything

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:38 | 1947114 aleph0
aleph0's picture

 

 

 

FAZ :  EU Contract amendment in March 2012

 

 At least it's going to be more interesting watching the Bundestag InAction .... did I say "inaction" ? ... sure , they want to keep their jobs in the now bigger Ponzi scheme I suppose. i.e. They'll all just nick "OK" !

 LINK : http://tinyurl.com/6q8oehh

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:42 | 1947136 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Don't you get it yet? In their joint statement they've said that the goal is to enforce fiscal "conformity" on member states. And turn the debt-serfs into real-serfs. It might just work.

Translate: a centralized authority will better be able to enforce repression so that drastic "Austerity" can be used to cut deficits. Maybe if they cut gov spending altogether and just raise taxes they can force the masses to pay down the debt. Just like in the good ole days when Euro monarchs only taxed and never paid except for armies and parties.

If a centralized authority can provide enough tanks, flame throwers, APCs, drones, 24/7 electronic surveillance and death squads it just might be feasible. 

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 13:58 | 1947210 JR
JR's picture

European “unification” more than ever extinguishes the freedom of its people. Consider the rights of one group, the Czech people.

After they emerged from behind the Iron Curtain and broke the bonds of collectivism, they hoped to help the cause of political and economic freedom in Europe only to find themselves in an European Union, entangled again in an “insufficiently productive economic and social system called die soziale Markwirtschaft, a social democracy government with a massive regulation from above” and an ever-expanding welfare system where eventually the government owns the people.

The following is an excerpt from The Crisis of the European Union delivered by Vaclav Klaus, the President of the Czech Republic, to friends of Hillsdale College in Berlin during Hillsdale’s 2011 cruise in the Baltic Sea.  

After the fall of communism, the Czech Republic wanted to reassume its place among European democracies. We did not want to sit aside—as we were forced to do throughout the communist era—and European Union membership was the only alternative. Nothing else legitimizes a country in Europe these days. Therefore we joined the EU in May 2004. However, for those of us who spent most of our lives in the authoritative, oppressive, and non-functioning communist regime, the ongoing weakening of democracy and of free markets on the European continent represents something we did not expect and did not wish for in the moment of the fall of communism.

The most visible European problem today is the European monetary union, which was presented as the most important unification achievement following the Maastricht Treaty. The realization of this monetary union has not delivered the positive effects that—rightly or wrongly—had been expected from it. It was intended to accelerate economic growth, reduce inflation, and protect member states against external economic disruptions or so-called exogenous shocks. It has not worked. After the establishment of the euro zone, the economic growth of its member states slowed down relative to previous decades, thus increasing the gap between the rate of growth in the euro zone countries and that in other major economies. The internal disequilibria—such as trade imbalances and state budget imbalances—became larger, not smaller. And there is no indicator pointing towards a growing convergence in the euro zone countries. During its first decade of existence, a common currency has not led to any measurable homogenization of the member states’ economies.

It should have been clear to all, as it was to me, that the idea of a single European currency was essentially wrongthat it would create huge economic problems and lead inevitably to an undemocratic centralization of Europe. To my great regret, this is exactly what has been happening. The euro zone, which comprises 17 countries, is not an “optimum currency area” as defined by economic theory. In a currency or monetary union—which amounts to an extreme form of fixed exchange rates—it is inevitable that the costs of establishing and especially maintaining it exceed its benefits. Most economic commentators were satisfied by the ease and apparent inexpensiveness of the establishment of Europe’s common monetary area. In recent years, however, the negative effects of the straightjacket of a single currency have become more and more evident. When good economic weather prevailed, no visible problems arose. But when bad economic weather set in, the lack of homogeneity manifested itself quite strongly…

The second reason for European economic problems—not specifically European, but worse in Europe then elsewhere—has to do with the quality, productivity and efficiency of its economic and social system…

http://www.considercommonsense.com/the-crisis-of-the-european-union-causes-and-significance-2-of-2/

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 14:01 | 1947219 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the hard fact is that Germany and France are prepared to go alone. So this will force all the others in the 17 to line up as they are all bankrupt; as for the other 10, the only one that is a thorn is UK. So we'll see how that pans out. But the usual political haggling will take time. So the FED and IMF has to back up a surrogate ECB to face up to the market until the sigining of treaties and all the rest of the hogwash.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 14:24 | 1947305 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Nothing educational comes from TV anchors, so zero expectations yields zero disappointments.

Fiscal union is a nice way to say that those who want to continue using our low rate credit cards must lose their sovereignty.  I have a sneaking suspicion (maybe cynicism) that there will be countries (like those who are willing to trample and ignore dying people on the floor to consume more shit they can't afford) willing to give their souls up if it meant they actually didn't have to fight for their own rights, liberties, and the pursuit of fair prosperity and someone just told them it was going to be all good now.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 14:25 | 1947313 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

Everyone seems eager for the printing to commence but it isn't going to happen. As credit declines so will prices, to the level that can be supported by currency which will also be effected by the shrinkage of credit. The support of high prices is credit-dependent, that is what can be provided by the credit platform as a whole. This is why there is no inflation, the transmission mechanisms outside the reach of the central banks are impaired. Credit from the center is caught up in institutional deleveraging leaving nothing to reach ‘end users’ who are necessary participants in any wage-push inflation.

It is also why the Fed cannot bail out the Eurozone and won’t try. The ECB and EFSF transmission is broken. Germany won’t allow transfers, whether they are internally funded of sourced elsewhere because doing so would jeopardize German credit. If Germany was willing to put its credit in harm’s way the Bundesbank could provide funds to the rest of the Eurozone by itself.

 

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 15:50 | 1947782 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Excellant point.  But here's a crazy thought. What if there is a wild card scenario? What if the Fed's real agenda is to keep the USD from strengthening and equity indexes rallying regardless of BS expansion? Can't let the supposed Obama Wirtschaftswunder go to waist:) On the Euroland side, what if the Germans/ECB just wanted to satisfy their immediate needs,i.e. get liquidity on board both long dated, but more importantly money market, any way they could. The Germans need it in Euros, which means monitization, but don't want the spillover into German inflation, i.e. they need to keep the transmission mechanism broken. Wouldn't this scenario be satisfied if the FED starts buying EUROPEAN debt? Solves Euroland long dated interest rate problem and puts a floor under the sovereign debt. In this scenario, the FED would have to swap USD for EUROs. This entail buying EURO (keeping Euro supported) while at the same debasing USD (keeping USD soft). Could by extra Euros and funnel it into the Euroland MM's through the FED account at the ECB. Solves Euroland mm problem. Also solves the problem of EURO breakup and safe haven flows into USD for FED. It solves the liquidity problems for Euroland. Transmission mechanism in Euroland is broken due to bank deleveraging, so the monitization doesn't spill over into German inflation (yet). Transmission mechanism is not relevant in US since FED is monatizing, but in Euroland. Better yet, inflation doesn't feed back to US since bank lines frozen to the continant. Best of all worlds, wouldn't you say? The downside is that Congress would be pissed. But then again, doesn't look like Bernank really cares. Appears he's on a mission, and the honor of that tinfoiled hat, whackjob, crazytown Princeton economics department is on the line. Love to have your thoughts on the above. thks in advance:)

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 14:45 | 1947435 terryfuckwit
terryfuckwit's picture

honestly watching the bbc all day you would think europe has been cured.. Punisment for countries in the future who stray means all borrowing issues are fixed hey presto... levitation galore

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 15:03 | 1947554 VekTor
VekTor's picture

It's now official.  Europe is no longer a continent.

It is now an incontinent.

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 15:33 | 1947736 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Of course Queen of England mouthpiece AEP really DOES want printing.  He's one of those assholes that every once in awhile gets it right, for all the wrong reasons.

 

Glass-Steagall

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