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And For Today's Most Shocking Headline We Have...

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Fresh out of the flashing red headline-a-tron:

  • IMF OFFICIALS SAY GREECE WILL NEED A THIRD BAILOUT
  • IMF SAYS GREECE CAN'T FILL FUNDING GAP ON ITS OWN, UP TO EUROZONE AND ECB TO FIND MONEY FOR GREECE
  • GREECE MET ONLY 22% OF PROGRAM TARGETS FOR 2011
  • EURO EXIT WOULD SET GREECE BACK BY MANY DECADES

Nobody, NOBODY, could have anticipated that fighting record debt with recorder debt, could possibly fail. And cue Germany telling Greece the party is now over, which, is what (a sliding EURUSD for those confused) it has wanted all along.

So much for the stabeeleetee.

From Dow Jones:

Greece will need a third bailout package from the euro zone, and the country's European creditors will have to find the money for it, according to a senior International Monetary Fund official.

 

"Greece will require additional financing, which may take the form either of official-sector involvement or of additional loans, hopefully on more favorable terms," Thanos Catsambas, an IMF alternate executive director, who represents Greece at the Fund's board, said in an interview.

 

Mr. Catsambas is an IMF veteran with experience of Fund programs in Europe, Asia, Latin America and the Middle East. In his current position, he has knowledge of the continuing negotiations between Greece and its troika of creditors—the IMF, the European Union and the European Central Bank.

 

Troika representatives are currently in Athens to assess Greece's situation and the possible disbursement of a €31 billion ($39.99 billion) loan, part of a second bailout package that totaled €173 billion. The payment is imperative for the Greek government to avoid running out of cash, but officials now suggest they don't expect a final decision on how to proceed with Greece until November.

 

The coalition government of Prime Minister Antonis Samaras is facing growing public anger as it is tries to revive delayed structural reforms and implement fresh cutbacks of around €11.5 billion over the next two years.

 

The creditors are unanimous that this is Athens' last chance if the financing is to continue. Without the loan payment, the government would run out of cash in a matter of weeks and would have to find new ways of meeting its current obligations, such as pensions and public-sector wages. In an extreme scenario, this may require leaving the euro zone and printing a new currency.

 

Mr. Catsambas called this last option "an undesirable eventuality that will set the country back many decades."

...

Mr. Catsambas insisted that it should be the euro zone and ECB that take the strain of filling the rest of the gap.

 

"Extension of repayment of the IMF [part of] loans is impossible as all terms and conditions of IMF loans to all countries are based on rules that are not negotiable," he said. The failure of Greece to implement its agreements, and the lack of a sustainable debt trajectory, make it impossible for the IMF, under its own charter, to lend any more.

 

Mr. Catsambas said that the previous coalition government under Lucas Papademos, who took over from George Papandreou in November last year, estimated that "only 22% of the commitments under the troika-supported program were implemented" in 2011. Mr. Catsambas noted that the public sector still needs to be shrunk as a result.

Goodbye 8 day Greek work week. Here comes the 9 day work week.

 

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Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:34 | 2789100 Thomas
Thomas's picture

OK. I got the top comment. What do I do with it now?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:35 | 2789108 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

You could have said Fuck you Bernanke!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:36 | 2789115 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Or something with "bitchez."

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789138 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Fuck you Bernanke, Bitchez.  How's that?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789147 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Fuck Bernanke and his Bitchez.. Bitchezz!!!!!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789158 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Stuck the landing.

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:45 | 2789213 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Anybody Wanna Sell Me A Top Comment Spot ???

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:48 | 2789228 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Greeks Should Just Return To The Stone Age,

It's Better Than What They Have Now...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789243 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Penalty on the play......10 yards for answering yourself.

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:59 | 2789284 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

gold, bitchez!

[it's the new black]

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:24 | 2789426 Precious
Precious's picture

Greek National Anthem: "We Don't Need Another Gyro" by Tina Turner

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:30 | 2789463 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

This is absolutely the last time that Greece will ever need to borrow even a fiver from the IMF/ECB/pensioners/bum on the corner with his cup full of coins/cash for gold pawnshop/anyone else. They are now on double secret probation with the IMF. Dude, I've got an uncle like Greece. It never fucking stops until you say, "Enough!"

I feel like bitchez ought to be in here someplace. "Enough, bitchez!" maybe. Somebody help me out. All I need is one piece of advice. I promise I'll never ask for another...until next time.

We're all Greek Keynesians now, bitchez.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:29 | 2789453 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Not until Greece`s creditors say "OUR gold, bitchez!" will the Groundhog Day curse be broken...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:42 | 2789185 Sphinx_www
Sphinx_www's picture

Soon the statement will be "the bitchez are fucking Bernanke"

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:04 | 2789304 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

All of your bailouts are belong to us!  Bitchezzz!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789177 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Like unlimited bitchez ?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:37 | 2789120 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

So why doesn't the IMF just bail them out? The US can afford it.

 

Please don't bother Ben Shalom.....or Greece is going to have to bail us out.

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789142 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

because The Machine wants their gold, islands, and throw in the Parthenon for good measure.....then we can talk about it.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:45 | 2789209 Its the Vatican...
Its the Vatican Stupid's picture

Two questions:

1. Anybody heard anything from the U.S. Embassy in Greece lately?

2. Are Greeks Arabs?

They are fairly hirsute either way.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:42 | 2799395 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

Retarded Comment, retarded nickname...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:48 | 2789218 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

  • FML OFFICIALS SAY AMERICA WILL NEED A HIGHER DEBT CEILING
  • FML SAYS AMERICA CAN'T FILL FUNDING GAP WITH TAXES, UP TO FEDERAL RESERVE AND TREASURY TO PRINT MONEY FOR CONGRESSIONAL ADDICTS
  • AMERICA DID NOT HAVE A BUDGET FOR 2010, 2011, 2012, ETC.
  • FAILURE TO RAISE DEBT CEILING WOULD SET AMERICA BACK BY MANY DECADES

No mention of The Inflation Tax

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:49 | 2789232 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

IMF says stfu and just buy aapl

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789246 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The trend is indeed your friend, but trees don't grow to the sky, not even AAPL trees.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:12 | 2789351 Zen Bernanke
Zen Bernanke's picture

Oh yes they can.  keep printing Benny boy and aapl will get it's 1k target by January. 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:17 | 2789376 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Nominally speaking, you are correct.  But in your scenario the AAPL tree is not growing.  It is the unit of measurement that is shrinking.

http://economics.about.com/cs/macrohelp/a/nominal_vs_real.htm

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:34 | 2789494 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

And some people like that...my dick is at least 100 billion Zimbabwe dollars long!!!!!!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:15 | 2789375 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Rules, bitchez.  IMF says their rules are not negotiable and that their charter won't allow them to help the greeks anymore [since they can't ever payback or do the things IMF rules require].

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:40 | 2789532 Sofa King Confused
Sofa King Confused's picture

The IMF, WORLD BANK, FED, ECB AND THE UNITED NATIONS need to be disassembled, either slowly and methodically, or very rapidly in one big Bang.  The countries of the world would be much better without them.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789146 YuropeanImbecille
YuropeanImbecille's picture

The time has come to frie those olives.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:17 | 2789392 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

What? Why would ya write such a thing?

 

Bernanke is my frienemie. He is yours too. He is going to make you a Zillionaire. Everyone is gonna be a Zillionaire 'cause of Bernanke.

 

Just buy Gold. Don't ya worry none...He will take the wealth from the public and Wall Street fraudsters and hand it to you 'cause you were a Yogi...not a Muppet...and smarter than the average bear...when you bought yer Gold.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:36 | 2789118 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Post something pithy?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789151 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Good idea......if they don't like it....at least it won't take much time.

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789134 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

You could write something like "Fuck you, Christine!" or "I did not see that coming!".

 

btw: I like that expression "recorder debt"!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:14 | 2789373 illyia
illyia's picture

Thats recorder debt, timbo.

How about "Who could've imagined planes hitting a sky-scraper!?"

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:17 | 2789393 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Or "who could've imagined planes hitting sky-scrapers full o thermite"?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789154 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

The Euro will be stronger without greece in it so it will rally and the USD will fall....in other words BTFD

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:57 | 2789270 ThunderingTurd
ThunderingTurd's picture

Wrong.  Greece is representative of what is to come of Spain.  Should we then also expect the Euro to rally when Spain fails and needs a bailout?  I think not.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789160 fuu
fuu's picture

Fail apparently.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789168 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

 

OK. I got the top comment. What do I do with it now?

You should have given it to me Bro and I would have said... Moar grease for Greece Bitchezz!!!!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789175 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I plan to celebrate your success by staring at your avatar for a little while.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:44 | 2789198 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Show us your tits.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:44 | 2789199 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Sell it to an advertiser for gold or fiat. Your choice. Phoenix Capital will buy it.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789244 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture
  1. Get lots of up votes on Zero Hedge comments.
  2. ???
  3. Profit!
Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:00 | 2789291 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Just get out.....while you still have the option.

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:01 | 2789643 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

I look for red arrows , but if you had nothing to say , showing your boobs could have gotten you more arrows.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:01 | 2789928 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

what would Cicero do?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 13:19 | 2790566 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

How about "Greece, sliding down the Troika's pole"?  Because that's exactly what's been happening.

Unfortunately, once they refuse to pay, it will be the Troika taking it up the ass!

Then you'll really see the face of surprise.

They should have gone "Iceland" long ago.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789106 malikai
malikai's picture

The ten year's really picking up some steam right now..

EDIT: http://blog.quantsig.net/2012/09/13/us-paper/

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:05 | 2789312 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Perceived safehavens, bitchez.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:36 | 2789117 gggunchi
gggunchi's picture

Who's gonna pay for it?  Entschuldige . . . ich meinte wer wird dafür das bezahlen?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:43 | 2789192 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Dont worry, whoever pays for it, it will be capped to EUR 190 Billion...

And then... EU will have its own version of "US debt ceiling" drama.

'Heard its really popular in US.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789241 gggunchi
gggunchi's picture

lol I can see it now;

 

Angela; "Um . . . . also, tut mir leid, aber ich brauche noch ein 190€Millarden mehr." 

CDU/CSU+SPD+Grüne "Woohoo!  Wir leben die EuroZone."

FDP "Scheiß drauf."

Linke "Ich bin am Ende"

 

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:59 | 2789285 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

"Das ist sehr gut... Ich kommen aussi!"

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:45 | 2789214 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

The tooth fairy, and Santa Claus, if you believe Bernanke, Krugman, and their cronies.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:37 | 2789124 mjorden
mjorden's picture

Anyone have one of those interactive maps from 1933-1945 of Europe ... where it shows German influence spreading.

Yeah ... 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789128 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

SHOCKED AND AWED

No mention of the need for 4th and 5th bailout.

I say they go with open ended bailout much like today's QE.

Awesome all around.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:37 | 2789137 nah
nah's picture

the unemployment should stop

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789139 GerritB
GerritB's picture

What about Spain, how much would they have met?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789166 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Spain, if you believe bond yields actually reflect risk (bwahahaha), has been solved.

I just have to rehearse that another 5 or 6 times, and I might be able to say it with a straight face.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789140 youngman
youngman's picture

But Greek bonds have done so well that last few months....they met only 20% of what they said they were going to do....to me that is a big miss...and a big fuck you moment to whomever thinks they will restructure....so you either give me the money...or you don´t...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789141 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

B-b-but they said a third bailout wouldn't never even be a consideration.

Do you mean to tell me they intentionally lie?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:38 | 2789143 teahouse
teahouse's picture

in the meantime:

 

BREAKING: ATM’s in Portugal not working Posted on  | 15 Comments

Max, Stacy
I am on holiday in portugal and today NOT ONE BANK IS WORKING
THE BANKSTERS HAVE BLOCKED ALL ATM MACHINES
EVEN TH E HOTELS CREDIT CARD MACHINES ARE NOT WORKING SO PEOPLE CANNOT PAY
TREVOR

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789169 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

No worries Benny B has your money. No problem.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:11 | 2789292 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

First comes the rush from heroin, then the rush to digital cash, then the rush to physical cash, then the rush to PMs, then the rush to anything physical, then the rush to Smith & Wesson.

 

Americans "opting out" of banks:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/more-americans-opting-out...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:07 | 2789330 pods
pods's picture

Another reason why digital currency falls flat, and why the PTB are salivating to implement it.

The bank run is the ultimate enemy of the fractional reserve banker.

Digital currency will do away with that.

pods

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:06 | 2789667 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Sorry Max, it's got nothing to do with Portugal.  Apparently Gilbert Gottfried stole your identity and max'd out all your cards.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789144 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Euro exit would set Greece back by many decades? WTF do you think you're doing to them now?!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789176 gggunchi
gggunchi's picture

Other than rubbish cars, clothing, and hair the 70s weren't so bad. Good music . . .

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:44 | 2789202 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If I were Greece, I'd aim for a 270 decade setback, so I could get back to my prime.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:54 | 2789260 kito
kito's picture

Hey doc just a few hours till you wave the white flag..........

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:08 | 2789337 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I hear you kito... This mid east turmoil is something else....one might think it was part of a plan.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:39 | 2789145 Quintus
Quintus's picture

Looks like the needed excuse for Spanish and Italian bailouts to commence is almost upon us.

Rajoy and Monti can then blame the Greeks for their U-turn on the need for bailouts.  They will have political cover they need then.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789156 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

EURO EXIT WOULD SET GREECE BACK BY MANY DECADES

Bullshit we can not believe in.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789182 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

EURO EXIT WOULD SET GREEK BONDHOLDERS BACK BY MANY DECADES

fixed that for you.

much like Greece, you can pay me later.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789157 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Luckily, Mr. Rajoy is convinced that Spain will need no bailout.

Well, beyond the banks. And, the provences.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789162 agNau
agNau's picture

Think that is "recorder'er" Tyler.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:04 | 2789180 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Too funky for that...it's the Recordist!
The final vinyl!
Spinning the (debt) platter that matters!

The EU disco-mix disc to end all risk!
The 10 inch liquidity injection for economic resurection!

Uh...or just playing a broken record.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2789165 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

November 7, dammit Greece...  KEEP IT TOGETHER!!!!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789173 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Apparently market participants believe the Fed is bigger than the whole world.  You could have a Nuclear winter and these 12 bankers would still be scheming about how they can add ten points to the spoos everyday.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:41 | 2789174 Jason T
Jason T's picture

they made a deal with the devil, Mephistopholes, for money.  Printing money is akin to the spirt of the Devil, the Father of lies.  Soon enough, all fiat currency holders will realize their currency too was a lie.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:43 | 2789193 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

oh don't worry, the insiders will cash out before then

it'll only be the proles losing all their money, and they can't afford their own politician, so who cares?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:44 | 2789183 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Does anybody believe that those German tossers in the Bundestag have the guts to tell the Greeks the party is now over? Be realistic. Germans taxpayers should learn to enjoy being screwed.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:03 | 2789651 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

German Sauerkraut tossers? Is that how they roll?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:43 | 2789187 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

does this mean that the Greeks aint got no money???

somebody help me out.....

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:44 | 2789208 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Ich werde sie gerne bezahlen Dienstag für eine hampburger heute

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:45 | 2789210 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

RIP, Greece.....We will ALL join you soon...and may we all find sanity.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:58 | 2789280 whaletail
whaletail's picture

fucking-a

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:45 | 2789212 mayhem
mayhem's picture

No, they can now get unlimited funds with no strings attached from the EMF and eat Lamb all day long.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:36 | 2789513 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Greece has no oil.

They import 400,000 barrels per day to run the trucks that deliver food and power all transport that defines society.

Greece imports every drop.  They have no oil.  They have no hope digging out of that hole.  At $120/barrel brent prices it's 48 million dollars a day flowing out of the country.

This is $17 billion per year.  GDP is $295ish billion.  Oil extracts nearly 6% of GDP out of the country per year.

There is no fix for this.  They are doomed.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:11 | 2789690 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

???
sales tax in the EU is around 20%.
6% is nothing.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:41 | 2789817 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Tax funds the EU.  

Oil funds oil producers entirely unconnected to Greece.  It's a complete drain.  

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789245 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

So Greek Exit would set them back many decades.....as oppossed to now?

IMF what a fucking joke......They projected that 2012 Greek GDP would be -1% with actual growth in H2 2012.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:51 | 2789249 SilverTard
SilverTard's picture

Dear Greeks:

Since you are having financial difficulties I hereby make you the following offer:

The Acropolis - $1000.00 US
The Palace of the Grand Master - $500.00 US
Olympia - $250.00
Hadrian's Arch - $75.00
The Theatre of Dionysos - $347.88
The Island of Delos - $1236.91

I am willing to pay you the above, in US cash, for title to these items. I could give you two ounces of gold as an option. Best part is unlike others who want to take these from you I will lease them back to your govt at a low amount of $10,000,000 USD per year for the next 99 years and you can maintain control and operation of said landmarks. After the 99 year lease I will transfer title back to you, in full, for just $1 !!! What a deal!

I know you are interested so please contact me and I will have my attorney prepare the necessary paperwork and payment.

I am here to help.

Best of wishes from your American Friend,
SilverTard

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:57 | 2789277 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

You could buy them on the cheap, and then they could pass a law to tax you 100 trillion euro on the property, and pass the buck on their debt problems once and for all.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:52 | 2789512 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

That risk can be largely mitigated, that`s why good international investment lawyers who understand non-financial risk are actually worth their 4-figure hourly charge...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:52 | 2789255 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

The timing of this farcical statement is quite incredibly coincidental, im sure.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:55 | 2789265 whaletail
whaletail's picture

EURO EXIT WOULD SET GREECE BACK BY MANY DECADES

I find this bullet point from the splash page summary ammusing. "Back"? Back from where, extactly? Isn't the first step admitting you have a problem? Isn't the second step admitting you are powerless over the problem? 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:56 | 2789271 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"GREECE MET ONLY 22% OF PROGRAM TARGETS FOR 2011"

11% for 2012?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:16 | 2789385 whaletail
whaletail's picture

GREECE IMPROVES YOY 100% ON REACHING VIABILITY TARGETS; ECB CONSIDERS RELAXING RESTRICTIONS

We should really create a game where headlines are given the 2+2=5 treatment. 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:57 | 2789275 adr
adr's picture

no, no, no, that can't be right. That network on the TV told me Greece was fixed and the iPhone5 will add at least 4.5 points to global GDP.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 09:59 | 2789287 President Palin
President Palin's picture

And don't forget, the iPhone5 is more nutritious than the iPad.  All is well with the world.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:00 | 2789290 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

The truly scary thing that of course everyone knows except the stock market is that you will see all these same headlines for Spain next year and Italy in 2014...as H Ross Perot would say..."Do you hear that giant flushing sound"

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:05 | 2789320 sumo
sumo's picture

Hugh Hendry: "I would recommend you panic"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuysYXlJ43I

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:52 | 2789606 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Love that clip. I would recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:01 | 2789296 magpie
magpie's picture

A few weeks ago i happened to see an episode of Danger Man, a 1960s TV series about a Greece-like country scamming the IMF. How prescient lol

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:02 | 2789298 Terp
Terp's picture

I´m shocked....SHOCKED!

 

 

 

:/

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:03 | 2789299 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

EXpected.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:03 | 2789302 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

"only 22% of the commitments under the troika-supported program were implemented"

Good thing Greece is being graded on a curve in a no-fail course.  "A" for participation.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:07 | 2789303 yogibear
yogibear's picture

"IMF OFFICIALS SAY GREECE WILL NEED A THIRD BAILOUT"

 Rinse and repeat for all the club-med countries. 

Keep feeding at the Draghi bailout trough.

Draghi did say unlimited and he will not let the Euro union fail..... 

Any surprise?

Wake me up before Europe slides into the abyss.

William Dudley New York Federal Reserve: "Let them eat iPods"

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:13 | 2789363 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

I think you could find a "dome top" at the bottom of a well.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:06 | 2789311 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Sorry, all I can do is laugh at this point.  Hey German taxpayer, as a U.S. taxpayer I challenge you to race into poverty!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:09 | 2789344 gggunchi
gggunchi's picture

I'll take that. 

First one to the bottom gets a bailout, looser has to start a war. 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:05 | 2789319 lesterbegood
lesterbegood's picture

LMAO

Hard to believe that the monetary system in this world consists of trading fraudulently obtained promissary note 'money'?

Or that the corporate 'courts' are actually banks trading in negotiable securities such as 'appearance bonds'.

We've enslaved ourselves to a fiction?

Just ramblin'...

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:13 | 2789322 dingoj
dingoj's picture

This is getting embarrassing.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:09 | 2789338 Zen Bernanke
Zen Bernanke's picture

Politicians will be politicians and that strange breed of politician with an unhealthy emotional attachment to ruling the entirety of Europe will never allow greece to exit, regardless of whether it's right or how much it costs.  The feifdom be damned.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:09 | 2789339 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

ATHENS--The European Investment Bank will pump up to 750 million euros ($966 million) into the crisis-hit Greek economy with immediate effect, the Greek finance ministry said Thursday.

The money, the agreement for which was signed earlier Thursday by EIB president Werner Hoyer during a visit to Athens and the Greek Finance Minister Yannis Stournaras, will be invested in various sectors such as energy, education, transport and small businesses.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:15 | 2789369 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Keep it coming.

German citizens, ever feel like it's the 1930's again and this time you have been taken over by the banksters instead of Hitler? Again you do nothing. Like sheep.

Their going to take you down to backup their bad bets.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:17 | 2789391 gggunchi
gggunchi's picture

If we had a party that didn't like this stupid Euro project, we would vote for it in droves . . . regrettably we don't.  We get told by the shitheads running this place that we have some "historical obligation" to Europe. I say shit on the history.  

 

 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:19 | 2789724 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Fully castrated then?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:20 | 2789726 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Dp. (Its not what you think, dirty boy)

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:09 | 2789346 larz
larz's picture

You dont know what your talking about ive been paying my visa with my mastercard for years it works fine

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:17 | 2789387 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

Why don't they do what Illinois does?  Just slow pay all of your bills.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:20 | 2789409 cxl9
cxl9's picture

I'll be glad when they're done with this Euro foolishness, and Germany gets back to conquering Europe the old-fashioned way.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:33 | 2789490 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

Opa! Pass the ouzo!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:36 | 2789508 PatientZero
PatientZero's picture

Golden Dawn and Drachmas!

 

To hell with the Jewro and the Jewropean Union.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:36 | 2789514 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

What a coincidence it is. Germany just approves bailout funds and Greece is right there...wanting another handout.

 

The funny part is that the debtor is controlling the creditor rather than the other way around. Oh...those who seek to control will be controlled. They both DESERVE IT.

 

So does the World when this House of Cards collapse. They could not wait for that Court "Ruling" yesterday. They already had the paperwork ready and tried to cut in line. Very clever. So if they said that they could not pay and DEFAULTED then the Euro goes down as other Member Nations will follow suit. The Euro is toast.

 

This just serves to punish the savers, the lenders, whom wanted them indebted in the first place.

 

NO SYMPATHY FOR ANY. Take NO prisoners.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:45 | 2789556 Jake88
Jake88's picture

BULLISH BITCHEZ!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:46 | 2789569 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture

 

 

Brainless liberal party leader Rutte (VVD, Holland) stated he will refuse more bail-outs to Greece.

 

(But what the liar is not saying is that ESM is already approved (unlimited bail-out by EU apparastki))

 

Fuck you Rutte!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:47 | 2789579 Peter K
Peter K's picture

The third bailout was when they raised the second from 120b to 178b, if I am not mistaken. :)

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:26 | 2789758 Ungaro
Ungaro's picture

Please forward to Mr. Samaras the email you received from your good friend, the Nigerian banker who has access to gazillion euros of unclaimed deposits. Surely Mr. Samaras can use that as solid collateral against his next ECB loan.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:28 | 2789766 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

Fire up the printing presses and solve this Greek Debt thing once and for all!

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:41 | 2789819 Darkness
Darkness's picture

Are you proposing that the ECB should fire these up? 

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 13:46 | 2790764 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

So... the final decision of the TROIKA will be delaid....forever...and funding will be on a roll over basis...forever..

 

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