Another Rumor Of A Plan For A Conference Call To Bail Out Everyone

Tyler Durden's picture


Just in case the epic collapse in the NY ISM (an indicator virtually nobody had heard of until today) which tumbled from 61.2 to a 49.9 contraction, was not enough of a hint that the economic virtuous cycle is a myth, and that CTRL-P'ing will be required, here comes the latest rumor via Reuters:


Will they discuss just any old plan, or DAS MEISTER PLAN? Stop talking about and just do it already. It's not like anyone expects it.

From Reuters:

Finance ministers from the Group of 20 will discuss the European debt crisis on Tuesday, Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said on Monday.


Asked whether the crisis was an issue for the G20, Flaherty told reporters: "I've been having discussions and I will have more discussions tomorrow morning, and subsequently with my G7 colleagues."


He added: "Those discussions also take place with some of the non-European members of the G20 ... who are concerned around the world outside of the euro zone with the potential consequences of a crisis in the euro zone, particularly a banking crisis."


Flaherty did not provide details about which colleagues he was speaking to and what the result of the talks might be.


Leaders of the G20 advanced and emerging economies will meet in Mexico June 18-19 and Europe is likely to dominate the agenda.


On Monday, financial markets were rattled by the deepening problems in the euro zone, as well as by disappointing U.S. jobs data and weak Chinese manufacturing figures, all of which spurred more concern about the global growth outlook.


Flaherty said Canada's economy was in relatively good shape compared with other industrialized nations, although he noted that employment data has been "a bit bumpy" in recent months, and that Canada could be hit by Europe's troubles.


"The real concern right now is Europe of course - the weakness in some of the banks in Europe, the fact they're undercapitalized, the fact the other European countries in the euro zone have not taken sufficient action yet to address those issues of undercapitalization of banks and building an adequate firewall," he told reporters.


"So this is a continuing concern."

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:02 | 2491588 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Will the US congress be on the line....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491622 prains
prains's picture

Thanks for nuttin canada

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:14 | 2491682 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

One plan to rule them all: Das Überkonzept!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:16 | 2491694 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Oh good.. I was worried that there might not be a rumor of a call to plan a meeting to discuss a potential temporary fix for a definite permanent insolvency.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:36 | 2491802 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Canadian Minister of Movies : "As you can see from this pie chart, the entire Canadian economy relies on Terrance and Philip..."

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:59 | 2492207 Mark Carney
Mark Carney's picture

Nobody panic!


there will be donoughts.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:21 | 2491734 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Douchebags on parade.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:32 | 2491781 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Canada has no right to be in dicussion for bailing out others....Canada basically is just an excuse for a country and thinks that allowing immigrants in is the best way to raise the standard of living....when in actuality, the goverment is just financially supporting these immigrants who take advantage of the social welfare system there.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:38 | 2491817 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

And thanks to the US Fed, Canada can keep funding its immigration programs...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:57 | 2491934 unrulian
unrulian's picture

true enough...however coming from a fat redneck, 0 % beer swilling, football tailgaiting confederate; that's the melting pot calling the kettle black...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:14 | 2492010 Bezukhov
Bezukhov's picture

...and in depresion bind them

   In the Federal Reserve, where Bernanke lies.


Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:39 | 2491822 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Time to issue those Gold backed bonds you have been discussing EU! The longer you wait the more pain it will be.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:08 | 2491637 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

NY ISM: ugly.....employment now contracting.  No shock here though.....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:15 | 2491688 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

I just received an email that Nigeria has set aside the funds to bail out the EZ, but in order to process the transaction they will need to receive a wire in the amount of $4,000.00 from one Herman Van Rompuy.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:15 | 2491696 bugfixx
bugfixx's picture

Wasn't this already decided at the recent Bilderberg meeting?  Isn't that where all the world's superstar central planners meet to decide what's best for them... I mean us?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:52 | 2492399 Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture

 Meeting Minutes:


USA: Germany, I TOLD you to bail them out MONTHS ago!!

P-I-I-G-S-F: yeah, bail us out (heh, heh)!

Germany: Ahh, do I HAVE to?! Everyone else is just spending and having fun ... why do I ALWAYS have to ... ?!

USA: Just get in there and DO IT! I want them bailed out by tomorrow, or else!!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:02 | 2491589 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

we have a plan to make a

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:05 | 2491615 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Correction, we have a plan for a meeting to plan for upcoming meetings where meeting plans will be planned.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:15 | 2491690 AssFire
AssFire's picture

A CENTRAL location no doubt...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:17 | 2491708 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

“It’s the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and uh, look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that like a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all, part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!  Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair."

~ The Joker

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:04 | 2491603 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Here's how the call will go...


ringgg...ringgg..., "Hello?"

"Hello, this, beep, beep...

"Fucking AT&T!!"

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:04 | 2491613 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Perhaps they should Skype.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:08 | 2491638 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Will Obama call on his thingamajing?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491623 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

[Phone rings..Clink of receiver being lifted]
"Yes, a collect call for Mrs. Floyd from Mr. Floyd.
Will you accept the charges from United States?"
[clunk! of phone being put down]
"Oh, He hung up! That's your residence, right? I wonder why he hung up?
Is there supposed to be someone else there besides your wife there to answer?"
[Phone rings again...clunk of receiver being picked up]
"This is United States calling, are we reaching...
[interrupted by phone being put down]
"See he keeps hanging up, and it's a man answering."
[whirr of connection being closed] 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:05 | 2491614 5880
5880's picture

So we all agree? Germany gives us more money....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:07 | 2491632 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Or is it the Money Shot?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491627 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

I kick in "Metallica - MASTER of Puppets"

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:07 | 2491633 Conman
Conman's picture

Dont think the algos bit on this one. Looks like algos on sell mode this morn, ppt to intervene in 1 hour 23 minutes..

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:07 | 2491634 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

one ringy dingy

two ringy dingy...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:23 | 2491740 sumo
sumo's picture

Love the Lily Tomlin reference.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:07 | 2491635 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

I love it when stocks are like "Shit! I can't believe we fell for it AGAIN!"

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:08 | 2491643 aleph0
aleph0's picture



How about a G99 conference tomorrow morning ? ... with pitchforks !

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:09 | 2491646 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

Oh Canada.  You're headed for you own real estate bubble calamity in the next 12 months.


Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:19 | 2491714 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

I've been hearing that since 2008. I guess one day it will come day.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:20 | 2491728 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

on a long enough timeline....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:27 | 2492076 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

The temporary forces holding the US dollar up are the same ones holding the Canadian real estate market up. The world is scared shitless, and as a result they're buying up anything that looks expensive. Psychology can be a bitch, but reality always comes out victorious in the end.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:10 | 2491656 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Someone grab a bucket!  AAPL looks like it's turning green in the face and may be about to blow chunks!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:12 | 2491669 Agent P
Agent P's picture

A phone call...WTF?  I thought they only used lavish summits to not accomplish things.  This kind of fiscal responsibility will not stand!!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:16 | 2491700 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

The catering company is going to be pissed, they ordered in a lot of Beluga in anticipation of a face to face.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:12 | 2491674 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It has been argued that "Hitler and the Reich had a Grand Strategy for the running of Europe." of course you'll need a couple of huge banks to do that.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:17 | 2491704 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Maybe they are all going to buy Fecebook shares?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:20 | 2491725 sumo
sumo's picture

"Will they discuss just any old plan, or DAS MASTER PLAN? Stop talking about and just do it already. It's not like anyone expects it."

That's the cunning part. No-one expects the Spanish (Bond) Inquisition!


Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:21 | 2491727 BandGap
BandGap's picture

The excitement is killing me.

Flaherty doesn't know he is speaking to or what the results might be? This "meeting" is complete bullshit. This is fucking news for Reuters?

There is NOTHING good going on in the world these days. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:48 | 2491884 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

This is exactly why they need rumors.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:29 | 2491766 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

We'll know it is fixed when it isn't broken anymore.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:56 | 2491927 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hi evrybuddy!  tCal here! 

we should all be on page 4,236,890 of fiatAppendixXXVII now

so please turn there now, in yer digital fiatscoes4Dummiez playbooks, k?

yep!  the exploding golf ball! 

then, when angela recovers, we'll sit her on a whopee cushion and give her an ex-lax milkshake in a dribble glass

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:40 | 2492132 walküre
walküre's picture

Die Endlösung!

Ze final zolution.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:46 | 2494431 Red Sole Shoes
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