Apple For Dummies

Tyler Durden's picture


Since last night's blockbuster earnings by Apple presented yet another "paradigm shift" in how the company is presented to potential new investors (how many are left one wonders); namely, no longer reliant on incremental US purchases - just to avoid the thorny issue of wireless company subsidization - and one now dependent on Chinese consumer demand for future growth, we thought, in conjunction with William Banzai, to present a graphic simplification of what the Apple business model is all about going forward. Two words: "value added"

Courtesy: William Banzai

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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:16 | 2374784 brewing
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:17 | 2374789 Bunga Bunga
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:24 | 2374816 Unprepared
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:32 | 2374841 nick howdy
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:35 | 2374850 nick howdy
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I'll never buy it...I've got one old computer in my house and one cell phone for the family..Fuck these stupid gadgets....

Mr Jackson..have you no shame sir!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:46 | 2374874 SilverTree
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iDon't care.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:51 | 2374886 nick howdy
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:08 | 2374923 Vampyroteuthis ...
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:47 | 2375013 flacon
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All Seeing "i"

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 18:07 | 2375057 i-dog
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iYep. U2?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 18:30 | 2375116 Comay Mierda
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huge gap up today on relatively light volume.  no conviction.  and a huge gap to fill down.  the wise ones shorteth

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 19:58 | 2375273 FEDbuster
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At least a business model based on selling to Chinese consumers saves Apple the shipping cost from Foxconn back to the USA.  Invented in the USA, made and sold in China.  Wonder when the Chinese eliminate the invented in the USA part?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:36 | 2375394 The Real Fake E...
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Maybe they save on shipping, but the company still pays import duty tax on all goods made here in China and sold here in China.  

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 23:27 | 2375525 luna_man
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"Comay Mierda", you say, "the wise ones shorteth"...I say, pick your battles wisely!...

You see any support under that price?  Any how, @$610 per, YOU ONE TOUGH HOMBRE!

admire your tenacity

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 20:09 | 2375286 pan
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:17 | 2375365 vast-dom
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 22:05 | 2375432 BeetleBailey
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Thu, 04/26/2012 - 02:03 | 2375748 TheLooza
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:47 | 2374878 nick howdy
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Hey who gave me that down arrow?..I got something to say to you..

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:29 | 2374974 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

i rather like this memory of Sammy

Jackson's an out and out racist. Any asshole that comes right out and says so (I voted for Obama because he's black/people vote for who they look like) is a complete fucktard, and Pesci's bullets should have been real.

On top of it, he's a mediocre actor. Plus, he's bone ugly.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 23:47 | 2375576 Timmay
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:33 | 2374978 HarryM
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People are so starved for a sliver of good news that one companies success causes the worlds stock markets to surge -  


and this my friends, is the good news?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 23:31 | 2375548 palmereldritch
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How many motherfucking snakes can I get on a motherfucking plane...and still make my tee-off time?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:40 | 2374860 Pool Shark
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iLaughed, iCried, iKissed $300 goodbye...


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:44 | 2374869 nick howdy
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For lonely people with no one to talk to, we now have the iPhone 4s. Enjoy.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 19:12 | 2375212 The Beam
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With all of this talk, I may start calling myself: iBeam!

And they my symbol could be the eye from the pyramid on the dollar bill shooting a Beam like a laser.

Dude.... this was iBrilliant

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 18:57 | 2375183 Arnold Ziffel
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:22 | 2374809 Id fight Gandhi
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:27 | 2374827 NoClueSneaker
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:34 | 2374849 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:47 | 2374877 slaughterer
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:56 | 2374896 Buckaroo Banzai
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iAAPLHaterz gonna iHate

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:32 | 2374980 BeetleBailey
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ieye....yiyie....ieye fuckin eieye!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 19:29 | 2375235 beachdude
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 20:20 | 2375297 Mae Kadoodie
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 20:37 | 2375312 dannyboy
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With my little i?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:26 | 2375376 HAL 9000
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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 22:31 | 2375459 mrjig27
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ii had a mind too, i would not want to be like you... +5

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:30 | 2375382 tempo
tempo's picture

How to save $1500. Buy your smartphone & SIMS card on ebay and go to TMobile and get unlimited text and data for $50/month which compares to $130/month for the same service w an iphone. Over 24 months you are paying about $1500 premium for the AAPL product.Its not the initial $199 cost its the additional $70+ per month service charge. Of course it doesn't matter if you are borrowing the money and don't have to pay it back.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:33 | 2375389 Lednbrass
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The i of Sauron.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 23:56 | 2375589 Mr Lennon Hendrix
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I'm going to use that one.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:45 | 2375403 TWSceptic
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I bet you never used one single Apple device in your entire life.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 21:45 | 2375407 FearLess_FLY
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All you nay sayers will be arguing  on your way to the financial gallows. I too am a cynic on our society. BUT, being cynical about a successful corporation will NOT cause their stock to wither. Wake up brethern.



Wed, 04/25/2012 - 23:19 | 2375517 smb12321
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I have not figured out why Tyler (well, this particular Tyler - not sure how many there are) has it in for Apple.  I love their products - pricy but absolutely excellent.   Making a movie, recording a song, etc - there is no comparison with the PC world.   After all, it's not Apple's fault their stock has such a huge ramification on the exchanges.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 00:06 | 2375599 Mr Lennon Hendrix
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It is a product.  It is not any thing that has value outside of your weird emotions for it.  It is inanimate; there will be no recourse to your judgement of it.  You may fall in love with it if you choose, like Nero to his horse.

How long will it last?  As far as an investment goes, what good is it?  You can day trade from it.  If you are a graphic designer you can use aaple products to make you monie.  But are you a cinematographor?  Will you actually make money from owning an apple product?

If so, by all means, buy them.  But for most consumers, they but them to take notes on while in college, or they buy them because their parents handed it to them and said look on Craigslist for a job on this product.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:17 | 2374786 ZakuKommander
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I for one am eagerly anticipating the Little Red iBook

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:18 | 2374798 streetcrawler
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Apple's business model going forward is to hope people in China spend 1/10th of their net income each year on a new iPhone.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 16:22 | 2374813 unky
unky's picture

That is sure happening. Everyone in Beijing who I met and has a little money is spending it for an iPhone first.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 17:24 | 2374967 TheGardener
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And if not, it will be sold at production costs in its producers market just for the numbers. Mercantilism makes sure parallel imports are treated as if they were counterfeit goods . No joke, the EU got this yoke on free trade transformed into law.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 00:29 | 2375628 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

"That is sure happening. Everyone in Beijing who I met and has a little money is spending it for an iPhone first."


iDoubt  iT!!!...

read here about the bunch of knock-offs :D

a great bunch of the Fruit fanatics are willing to pay the exorbitant prices, yet the even much bigger number beyond those fanatics will buy more rationally and favor choices, thus they won't absorb such premium.

The Fruit can hope that its worshippers CAN AFFORD to keep on buying repeatedly...

it has eaten up the piece of cake, what left behind now is the THICK WALL (of resistances) that won't go the Fruit way :D


And iTrust THIS!!

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