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Apple Presents iPhone 5, Market Unimpressed

Tyler Durden's picture




 

To the complete shock of absolutely nobody,  Apple has unveiled the iPhone 4GS Botox Turbo 5

  • APPLE IPHONE 5 ADDS FIFTH ROW OF ICONS TO HOME SCREEN
  • APPLE IPHONE 5 WEIGHS 20 PERCENT LIGHTER THAN IPHONE 4S
  • APPLE IPHONE 5 HAS SAME WIDTH, TALLER SCREEN
  • APPLE SAYS NEW A6 CHIP IS 2X FASTER CPU, 2X FASTER GRAPHICS

All the market wants to know is if it will buy Spanish bonds, and if it is acceptable ECB collateral. Everyting else is now just part of the annual, soon to be semi, quarterly, and so on, facelift. AAPL shares sliding - after reaching up to yesterday's closing VWAP at $664 (now at yesterday's lows)

Finally, the most important question - when is the iPhone 6 (with the purchase funded by the iBank captive leasing arm) coming?

 

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Wed, 09/12/2012 - 14:30 | 2786752 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Helps to pass the time at 'mandatory' functions or a convenient conversation shut down when required. Look around, how many are capable of real conversation, beyond 'do YOU really want to find out what they are thinking?'

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 14:51 | 2786854 ubercool
ubercool's picture

If you're so pro America doing things right and not wrong, why don't you applaud one of the few companies we have in the U.S. that actually produces innovative products?

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:33 | 2787048 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Made in china, fool!

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:57 | 2787167 penexpers
penexpers's picture

You, sir, are a moron.

Apple produces their iPhones and iPads in China.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 14:56 | 2786885 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

The last bit of Steve's Reality Distortion Field has been released into the wild and now he is free to pursue other adventures.  Meanwhile the top is in, bizzaro world is collapsing, and we can get back to figuring out what to order for lunch - using the latest, greatest, brandy new iPhone 5.

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 15:08 | 2786939 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

iPhone 5 and iPod(s).  No iPad mini.  I AM DISAPPOINTED because I was so NOT going to buy one of those and I now I can't.

 

 

 

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:11 | 2787469 dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

it said that this could sell 10 million in the first week-or was that DAY?

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:23 | 2787503 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

 APPLE IPHONE 5 HAS SAME WIDTH, TALLER SCREEN"

Yea; you're slimmer cos you put on high heels....

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 17:25 | 2787510 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

We need Banzai to produce ' IPhone 5 bails out Europe'...Iphone 6 aimed as USA debt and to be built in China...oh wait...

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