Art Cashin On European Political Alliances, Marrying Your Best Friend's Sister, And Fed Fisher's Enlightenment

Tyler Durden's picture

In his typically anti-prosaic manner UBS' Art Cashin draws the parallels between Caesar's political alliances & apolitical dalliances and the refreshing honesty of Dallas Fed's Fisher with the hope of a new spirit of cooperation blossoming among European leaders and how we lost some belief yesterday afternoon.

From UBS' Art Cashin

On this day (+2) in 48 B.C., one of ancient Rome's most brilliant generals, a certain Pompey the Great landed on the shores of Egypt. (Mr. Cashin! Yes Sister? Please try to remember the general's name is pronounced Pom-pea; Pom-pay was the name of the city buried by the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 A.D. If you don't pay more attention, you'll never remember enough history to get out of the 6th grade, let alone enough to ever help you in business! Do you understand?? Yes Sister!!)


Anyway, flashbacks aside, Pompey landed in Egypt - kind of "on the run." As you may recall from earlier episodes (or from the 6th grade), Rome was going through a parliamentary crisis.


A popular reformer named Julius Caesar was busy dividing Gaul into three parts and sending reform suggestions to Rome. The Roman Parliament (pronounced "Senate") sent a nasty note (on parchment) to said Caesar - saying he had a lot of Gaul and ordering him to come home for a spanking and to please leave his army behind.


Said Caesar headed home and took the army with him (across the Rubicon don't-cha know!). Since that was considered bad form (pronounced formus stunkus), the Roman Senate called upon a former war hero for protection. The guy picked was Pompey the Great (page 6 in your program) - victor over Spanish Rebels (76 B.C.), over a certain "Spartacus" (72 B.C.) and over that early Hitler, King Mithridates (63 B.C.).


Despite this veteran's record, said Caesar made salad out of Pompey at the Battle of Pharsalus (beating him badly with an army half the size of Pompey's).


This led Pompey to flee to his last known ally, Ptolemy XIII (pronounced Friday the 13th), King of Egypt and the Nile Delta. Ptolemy XIII (age XV) was at war with his pudgy sister. So, with Ptolemy XIII needing no new enemies (i.e. said Caesar), Ptolemy had his old ally assassinated (i.e. Pompey, who was stabbed as he got off the boat).


Said Caesar sensed that such habits did not make Ptolemy XIII (age XV) a great candidate for new best friend. So, said Caesar threw in with the pudgy sister named Cleopatra. What happened next...I forget! (Sorry Sister!!) The markets grappled with political alliances again yesterday. Again they seemed hopeful that a new spirit of cooperation might be blossoming.


Early Celebration Runs Into A Little Afternoon Rain - Tuesday, U.S. stocks roared out of the box continuing the rally that began with Monday’s rumors that a European bailout deal was in the works. The rally was so good that it prompted my pal, Carl Quintanilla, to note (with a hint from his producer) that we might see the first back to back 200 point rallies since December 2008. (Hard to believe given all this whipsaw volatility.)


There was more than a little hint of short squeeze in the action (leadership, etc.). By mid-afternoon, the Dow was up over 325 points and bubbling. Then, around 2:30, the FT ran a headline suggesting that Germany wanted Greek bondholders to take a haircut steeper than 21%. That was enough to spook the buyers and bids began to disappear. By 3:40, they looked like they might keep going into negative territory. Just then a new wave of electronic buying showed up allowing them to close up about 146. Quite a ride indeed.


Well Said In Any Language - Dallas Fed President Richard Fisher is, in our opinion, not only one of the most outspoken Fed presidents, he is certainly one of the most enlightening.


As I have said before, his speech, “Connecting the Dots ……” (August 17, 2011) should be required reading, not just for those of us trying to follow the Fed, but also for every member of Congress and the Administration. He describes in simple, fully understandable and non-partisan language how government efforts have been ineffective and even counterproductive in aiding business and the economy. Pull it up and read it again.


Yesterday, Fisher stepped to the podium again. Here, his purpose was to explain and clarify why he dissented on Operation Twist. Unfortunately, he is hampered a bit by respecting the yet to be disclosed minutes of the meeting. Perhaps he will re-visit the topic more fully after the minutes are released.


He did begin yesterday’s speech with a really terrific analogy. As he started, a large photo was shown of a sign outside the Jan Mayen Arctic Weather Station. As the picture loomed above, Fisher explained as follows:


  • Jan Mayen is a desolate volcanic island located about 600 miles west of Norway’s North Cape. It is the home of a meteorological and communications station manned in the harshest of winters by 17 hearty members of the Norwegian Armed Forces. If you read Tom Clancy’s Hunt for Red October, you would know it as “Loran-C,” a NATO tracking and transmissions station. In the video game Tomb Raider: Underworld, Lara Croft visits Jan Mayen in search of Thor’s Hammer, considered the most awesome of weapons in Norse mythology, capable of leveling mountains and performing the most heroic feats.
  • My brother Mike recently visited this station on Jan Mayen. This is the sign that greeted him.
  • In norsk, it reads as follows:
  • “Theory is when you understand everything, but nothing works.”
  • “Practice is when everything works, but nobody understands why.”
  • “At this station, theory and practice are united, so nothing works and nobody understands why.”
  • My wry brother implied that this about summed it up for monetary policy. Drawing on theory and practice, the 17 members of the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) have been working in the harshest economic environment to harness monetary theory and lessons learned from practice to revive the economy and job creation without forsaking our commitment to maintaining price stability. But the committee’s policy has yet to show evidence of working and nobody seems to quite understand why.


Let’s repeat that last sentence one more time for emphasis. “But the committee’s policy has yet to show evidence of working and nobody seems to quite understand why.”


That makes the frustration in the FOMC (and elsewhere in the government) fully palpable. It suggests that “we’re doing what the book says to do” but not getting the results the book suggested. The speech, like all Fisher speeches is worth a full read. But, like Mr. Fisher himself, you may come away with a few more questions than answers.


Cocktail Napkin Charting - There was no exogenous "event" yesterday (at least as far as we could see). The star-gazer division says the "event" folks may be off by 24 or 48 hours as some astronomical cycles shift today. The napkins see resistance in the S&P around 1183/1187, then 1194/1198 and 1204/1208. Support looks like 1162/1166 then 1148/1153 and 1139/1143. If the rally fails here, could set up a rounding top formation (hat tip - Jim Brown).


Rosh Hashanah - About 50 plus years ago, when I was starting out in Wall Street, I was lucky enough to be hired by a small, bright, aggressive firm where I learned unique things from some wonderful people. I thought they had hired me because I was sharp, inquisitive and hard working. The older salesman, however, used to joke that I was the "Shabbes Goy" - the only non-Jewish employee who could man the phones on religious holidays. It was a joke (I think) but it gave an altar boy from Jersey City a chance to learn a little Yiddish and a touch of cultural traditions.


The way I learned it, you sell on Rosh Hashanah and buy back on Yom Kippur. The thesis, I was told, was that you wished to be free (as much as possible) of the distraction of worldly goods during a period of reflection and self-appraisal.


Later as I studied market cycles and economic cycles, I was struck that the oft-repeated September/October weakness (crop cycle/money float) often corresponded to the Rosh Hashanah tradition. Is it cultural coincidence or cultural overlap? Who knows!


One last note on Rosh Hashanah. My late, lamented Irish mom, tended to see everything in a Celtic perspective - even Jewish New Years. She would say - "You better get up to the deli fast 'cause the Jewish people will be leaving early for ‘Rose of Shannon’." Anyway, if it is your holiday, "Leshona Toyva Tikoseyvu!"


Consensus - It’s all about Europe and "deal or no deal". Remain seated with your belt on until the ride comes to a complete stop. Stay very, very nimble.


Trivia Corner


Answer - The seven letter word was "Nowhere" which became "Now Here."


Today’s Question - The George S. Booksey retirement party ran past its allotted hour. President Bob agreed to keep the club open for a cash bar. At the end, the cash bar produced $3,895. If the late patrons numbered between 50 and 99, and they each paid the same amount in round dollars - how many were there and how much did each pay?

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Careless Whisper's picture

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snowball777's picture

25 Kilos Of Cocaine Lands On Florida Military Base; No Explanation

We're gonna need someone to sign for this delivery.

Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

"[M]y pal, Carl Quintanilla"

Cashin is clearly on the reservation. He just as well could have inserted "my pal, Steve Liesman/Barry O'Bama/Jeff Immelt," et al. Cut from the same counterfeit, pseudopopulist bolt as Buffett. A facade and a tool for any network who'll have him. Red face and all.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Refreshing? From the Fed's Fischer?

They are talking their playbook. Post crash, everyone will look at thsi month or so of crazy headlines and say, see, we told you so, but you did nto behave.

It's all about Euriope indeed. The rot at the centre will fly to us in queek time!


Mall Mauling And Gandhian Mystery

Vic Vinegar's picture

Not to get too nasty here on this beautiful morning but why do you comment?

It’s worse. Every day. But off the press. It’s too de-pressing.

No dude it's better every day.  Figure it out.

And what do I see here?  Hot chicks:

Surely the sexes are gone mad.

What is wrong with us? Headless creatures we’ve become.

What is wrong with you?

slewie the pi-rat's picture

don't ask, don't tell, vic!  L0L!!!

be careful or falak penis will get after you! 

ori-0 is just another adbot troll, that's all.  people write to him for "advice & friendship" and give him their e-mails or get his spyware and his owners pay him to be non-anonymous, like falak penis, spirit of lies,  o-0-brien, and others to troll here, and impress everyone w/ his "websites" "books" "prophecies" or just abject stupidity, usually

his problem is that he is a wooden-headed puppet and still not Real after a lifetime as pinocchio.  he is one of the more insecure psychotics on the planet, too

thank you for paying attention

just junk and ignore, with a periodic rant?  after wondering abt this particular asswipe for quite sometime, i finally perceived him as cruella deville~~just collecting skin futures

he was in the USAF and apparently is quite "successful" at deceit, as one would expect of a "yogi" whose main game was to troll on zH and pretend to understand everything with no self-knowledge whatsoever, while shamelessly self-promoting and 'ad-botting' away to the tune of thousands of free ads here and parisitically draining tyler of his ability to try to help people see things a bit more realistically

he and the other trolls have a no respect for the reason for zHs' anonymity or the psychologically dynamic ideas behind zH

FYI:  these are those zeroHedge ideas & ideals as per years ago, here, now perhaps largely forgotten by those who just want to make cutesie comments all fuking day long, every fuking day:

our mission:

  • to widen the scope of financial, economic and political information available to the professional investing public.
  • to skeptically examine and, where necessary, attack the flaccid institution that financial journalism has become.
  • to liberate oppressed knowledge.
  • to provide analysis uninhibited by political constraint.
  • to facilitate information's unending quest for freedom.

our method: pseudonymous speech...

anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority. it thus exemplifies the purpose behind the bill of rights, and of the first amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation-- and their ideas from suppression-- at the hand of an intolerant society.

   ...responsibly used.

the right to remain anonymous may be abused when it shields fraudulent conduct. but political speech by its nature will sometimes have unpalatable consequences, and, in general, our society accords greater weight to the value of free speech than to the dangers of its misuse.

- mcintyre v. ohio elections commission 514 u.s. 334 (1995) justice stevens writing for the majority

though often maligned (typically by those frustrated by an inability to engage in ad hominem attacks) anonymous speech has a long and storied history in the united states. used by the likes of mark twain (aka samuel langhorne clemens) to criticize common ignorance, and perhaps most famously by alexander hamilton, james madison and john jay (aka publius) to write the federalist papers, we think ourselves in good company in using one or another nom de plume. particularly in light of an emerging trend against vocalizing public dissent in the united states, we believe in the critical importance of anonymity and its role in dissident speech. like the economist magazine, we also believe that keeping authorship anonymous moves the focus of discussion to the content of speech and away from the speaker- as it should be. we believe not only that you should be comfortable with anonymous speech in such an environment, but that you should be suspicious of any speech that isn't.

thanks again for paying attention, Vic, even tho the 1-line toy-boys and -girls have teed off on ya pretty good from time-to-time w. their ad hominems...

this bears repeating:  we believe not only that you should be comfortable with anonymous speech in such an environment, but that you should be suspicious of any speech that isn't.

unfortunately, many zeroHeads see personal "fame" as "just the ticket" and keep feeding these asswipe adbot  trolls due to their own lack of understanding of what is at stake, here, politically...

...and if ignorance were an excuse, this would be forgive-able, but it isn't, so just let the fuktards reveal their ignorance and gullibility and "repsect" for their toy-boy touch-hole budiies and "friends" for another day, and stay aware of the true dynamics we are fighting for & against, here, ok?

Vic Vinegar's picture

he is one of the more insecure psychotics on the planet, too

Yeah, I agree, along with everything you wrote slewie. 

 Perhaps Ori just needs some travelgirls in his life?

Just get some poon Ori.  Then you can tell the rest of us how to live and about all that is wrong with the world.

Kayman's picture

slewie the pi-rat

Thanks for speaking in English and stringing your thoughts together.

Yes, Fight Club rules are constantly being broken, especially by those trying to ride on Tyler's coat tails.

And a punch in the eye to ya...

spongeBOB's picture

Is old Art hitting the bottle again?

Don Birnam's picture

A couple of Manischewitz stains on the fax, per'aps. But only a couple.

Quinvarius's picture

Central bank policies work best when no one knows what they are doing.  It is like any other ponzi scheme.  It requires secrets and lies.

In the information age, only truth and reality will work.  Any deviation or lie is detected and globally known instantly.  The policy is DOA.

Azannoth's picture

Trivia question answer: 95 per 41$ :)

Sambo's picture

Start with the smallest prime number that produces an integer on division.

3895 / 5 = 779

779 / 19 = 41  (all other prime numbers between 5 & 19 produce non integers)

Ans : 19 x 5 = 95 late patrons spent $41 each.


disabledvet's picture

That's pretty cool. And "what happened next" in Rome circa AD was "et tu Brutus?" and so it will happen again circa 2011...AD.

snowball777's picture

Stupid misread deleted.

theprofromdover's picture

The power of prime numbers -coool.

They never taught us that

(when I was back there in Seminary school, there was no-one who put forth the proposition).

Give us another trick Samb.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

answer to tadoy's question:  95 par-teed & spent $41 each @ the bar

$41 X 95 =  $3895

gmrpeabody's picture

So did you just start dividing until you came upon an even dollar answer, or was there a formula (educated guess) that got you there before burning up your Texas Instrument?

Just wondering because I was too lazy.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

no, but almost; i went to factors & educated guess

i knew it was divisible by five, so this hast to be divided with no remainder (even dollar answer as you say) and, i think, prob ends in 5

so we have 55 ,65, 75, 85, & 95 as our five choices and the answer luckily turned out to be in there, somethere, too!  i started at the wrong end, of course, but cashin is a sly one!

Mitch Comestein's picture

Damit bitchez...I wanted to answer first.

Moneyswirth's picture

25 Kilos Of Cocaine Lands On Florida Military Base; No Explanation

The Goldman Sachs boys have to get rid of every bit of evidence when the Feds come to shut it down...

blueroom2133's picture



LongSoupLine's picture

speaking of CNBS, they are pounding Whitney's muni call "one year later" every 10 minutes.


Where's all the fuc'ing pounding on the sell-side fuc-necks they parade in day in and day out?  You know, the asshat-tiepin-greasehairs that were calling for Dow 600,000 and S&P 10,000 months ago.

No mention of their "Bad calls"...jack-off's!

monopoly's picture

Enjoyable post Tyler. Always respect Art. Fisher looking to retire soon. And remember all, the idiot channel is there for sponsors, revenue and ratings. Has absolutely nothing to do with the truth, facts or what is right.

But most here already know that.

andyupnorth's picture

I'm glad I didn't marry my best friend's sister...

On an unrelated note, there's no need to tell my wife that I'm sleeping with my brother-in-law's sister...

tj3's picture

It's hard to believe that Art (MrCashin) ... that whole piece. Seems like thar was more than one cook stirring that pot.

Mrs Kensington's picture

Fisher is lining himself up nicely to be the GOP choice for Bernanke's replacement.

HCSKnight's picture

Padawan's would do well to follow in the ways of Art C.

hedgehog99's picture

Bar problem.  it had to be a number ending in zero or five to evenly divide $3,895.  I tried a few, found 3895 divided by 95 = 41.

95 customers each paid $41.

Gelir's picture

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