Bachmann Wins Ames Straw Poll With 29% Of Vote, Ron Paul Takes Second With 28%

Tyler Durden's picture

The Ames Straw vote results out of Iowa are in, and Michelle Bachmann appears to have won with 29% of the votes, or 4,823 of the 16,892 votes cast. Bernanke nemesis Ron Paul placed second, just 150 votes behind Bachmann, at 4,671, or taking down 28% of the total. For those stupefied by this result, a source on the ground informs us that Bachmann proceeded to hand out 6000 free tickets at $30 each with a mandatory registration at her booth to gain concert entrance. Furthermore, final results were probably tabulated by the BLS. As for other frontrunners, Pawlenty came in a distant third with 14% or 2,293 of the votes. The Hill has more: "A House member has never finished in the top two; extraordinarily, two House lawmakers finished nearly neck-and-neck toward the top. Bachmann is the first woman to ever win the straw poll. "We’re very excited," said Alice Steward, a spokesman for Bachmann. "it’s a very emotional night for her, she’s excited and thankful all the hard work of the supporters and volunteers paid off...Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) won about 10 percent, pizza magnate Herman Cain finished at about nine percent, and Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.) drew just 35 total votes. Murmurs of huge crowds at Waterloo native's splay on the campus of Iowa State University persisted throughout the day, suggesting that momentum was with — and never waned — from Bachmann's campaign." Rounding off the field were Santorum with 10% of the vote, Herman Cain with 9%, write ins Perry and Romney with 4% and 3%, respectively, and Gingrich getting 2%. We are not quite sure if this is the cue to laugh or cry. Our money is on the latter.

More from The Hill:

A rousing late-day speech that stressed social conservative credentials and Bachmann's ties to the Hawkeye State culminated with Bachmann beckoning undecided voters to her tent, which boasted air conditioning, seating, and performances by country star Randy Travis.

 

"Join me, I'm heading over to the voting booth right now," she said. "Come with me now."

 

Pawlenty's failure to finish in the top spot raises new questions about the core health of his campaign. The former Minnesota governor has failed to raise his poll numbers outside the single digits, and had poured most of his remaining resources into the straw poll, where he hoped a victory would infuse his campaign with new momentum. 

 

"We made progress in moving from the back of the pack into a competitive position for the caucuses, but we have a lot more work to do," Pawlenty said in a statement. "This is a long process to restore America -- we are just beginning and I'm looking forward to a great campaign."

 

Pawlenty had set expectations at a finish somewhere in the top-tier; he's said repeatedly that a first-place finish wasn't essential. But even Pawlenty acknowledged Friday that a disappointing finish would force him to "reassess" his campaign, which has set itself up as more of a traditional, nationally-oriented campaign.

As for Paul...

Paul's showing caps off an effort of almost five years, dating back to his first bid for the Republican nomination way back in 2007, when he started to assemble the vast grassroots organization that propelled him to victory in today's straw poll.

 

He made a midday speech to straw poll participants that was heavy on playing up the Texas congressman's opposition to abortion rights; he also emphasized his opposition to the war in Iraq and criticism of U.S. monetary policy — views that tend to place him outside of the Republican mainstream.

 

Paul's finish Ames makes Paul's candidacy look less like a longshot, and more like a realistic possibility. The straw poll is a good, if imperfect, indicator of Republicans choice to win next February's caucuses, and Paul's finish on Saturday makes it seem increasingly plausible that he could win those contests.

Of course, if Paul were to eventually become president, we would advise him to not come within 100 miles of any school book depositories. Also to avoid prepared food, theaters, public speeches, pope mobiles (in fact any form of transportation that goes over 15 mph), to run like the wind from any and all hot tubs, jacuzzis, swimming pools, and baths, and in general to conduct his long overdue gold standard policy from a bunker several miles underground if possible.

Alas, this may all be just a tad optimistic.

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nmewn's picture

"What are Bachmann's handlers going to do?"

Give her napkins ;-)

Kayman's picture

What are Bachmann's handlers going to do?"

The girl has handlers ????

If she does, maybe smaller corndogs next time...

CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

The girl has handlers ????

 

The Bachmann campaign has fluffers on call 24/7.

Problem Is's picture

"the girl has handlers ????

If she does, maybe smaller corndogs next time..."

+5...Hilarious...

Hey Tyler, quote of the day...

Gimp's picture

Hotdogs - NO

Corndogs - Absolutely NOT

Lollipops - definietly NOT

Dildos  - pass

 

whaletail's picture

Greatest. Picture. Ever.

carbonmutant's picture
l Lisa Lerer  It's never too young to start teaching the gold standard for Ron Paul.
Segestan's picture

The US just gets worse and worse. No hope , but some ugly changes. Doomed.

azzhatter's picture

why is bachman fellating herman cain ?

Seymour Butt's picture

How do you know it's Cain?

CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

That broad's always raising Cain. It's become quite an embarrassment for both of them.

JW n FL's picture

This is why the United States is FUCKED! look at how stupid people are..

Ron Paul verse that crazy looking wanna be carved up barbie doll.

fuck me! no!! fuck us ALL!

BigDuke6's picture

Yeah bud.

From the outsider looking in, people are saying....'wtf? the yanks keep digging out these nutty witches as darlings of the right wing... why?  dont you have anyone sensible?'  

i think ron paul is very likeable and its depressing he's got such a battle on his hands to be heard.

it makes the right look unstable and an itchy finger on the trigger... so to speak.

it makes americans look bad

i'm not in usa.  but i like it. don't want it to go down.

falak pema's picture

...don't want it to go down. ...

What has "wanting" got to do with "facts and recurrent, mad acts and worse consequences"...please tell me that!

Do you believe in western values : primacy of fact, historic precedent, logic and economic math?

Or are you into flying unicorns and USA uber alles what ever the cost?

I know there is no viable solution to coagulate the new norm of the west but hanging on to a corrupt system that goes from bad to worse is not the answer.

JW n FL's picture

The Government of the Untied States is owned by Banking and Israel which is code for the "War Machine"...

 

BUT! "We the People" although many are dummer than a box of rocks.. are not all bad.. most Americans would share their last meal with someone who is hungry.

BUT! the Government of America Pays Farmers (like Rockefeller and Bachmann) to not farm! or pays farmers to destroy good food to maintain a market price! instead of sending the extra or un-wanted to africa or other to feed people??? what the fuck kind of group of leaders makes that call? what kind of people are they? really??

Like I said, the Government of the Untied States is Owned by Bankers and Israel who both buy or sell or fund the American War Machine.

BUT! MOST!! almost ALL! 99.9% (becuase the top 1% of the 1% is the problem, World Wide not just here in America) of Americans are not that bad.. even the bad ones are not as bad as the top 1% of the 1%.. murders kill less people that our leaders!

DosZap's picture

JW n FL  @12:31,

 

"BUT! the Government of America Pays Farmers (like Rockefeller and Bachmann) to not farm! or pays farmers to destroy good food to maintain a market price! instead of sending the extra or un-wanted to africa or other to feed people??? what the fuck kind of group of leaders makes that call? what kind of people are they? really??".

 

Ever see what happens when you as a Farmer does PLANT when the .gub say's NO MORE?.

Piranhanoia's picture

Ah, the travails of Porkwoman, prepping the local brathundt with a gleam rarely seen. I so hope the telyvishun camera will ask a lot of embarassing questions now about her pork life, what's her pork like, is it like pork?  Why the brown meat then when you are out of town?  Are you submissive as pork?  Are the rejects from your hubby bubby's clinic in your in your cell phone marked secret?   Or is it a go and go situation?   Only a sow for now?  Don't oink me there if you own a dog?  You think I want 10 fat tits?

where the hell is national enquirer tv. haven't we waited long enough for real tv?

Juan Wild's picture

150 points! hisssssss! boooooooo! Straw poll, straw basket to catch the heads of those cheating bastards!!! WE KNOW PAUL WON!! Sharpen the guillotine! Remember, Times Square beheadings for MSM with live coverage on ZH! But not before being buried up to the head in a FIRE ANT hill first! fuckers!

Hugh_Jorgan's picture

Tasteless photo. Let's get real, here. You all know you have nothing on them when all you can do is mock them

Iriestx's picture

I know pre-teens with a better grasp of the Constitution than her.  How's that for something on her?

CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

You'd think that a guy with the name Hugh_Jorgan would find that photo amusing.

Sathington Willougby's picture

War plus the patriot act equals establishment neocon.  That is short for thieving crime syndicate pigmen.

Silverhog's picture

Showed my wife the photo, she said so who's the guy?

Flakmeister's picture

Mind come in handy at erection time...

I wouldn't laugh if they found out how to use it to their advantage...I would imagine a few easilty tittilated people could be swayed by the image....

...if this isn't a photoshop job, it is priceless. Had to laugh at the Mandingo line above....

Bananamerican's picture

it isn't photoshopped...she's standing to the right of the corndog sign..."foot long"

Flakmeister's picture

Well I'll be damned... she is, isn't she?   Just too fucking funny...

CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

it isn't photoshopped...she's standing to the right of the corndog sign..."foot long"

 

Ah, so it's butcher shopped.

working class dog's picture

She's got my vote, along with the 5 th fleet!

Republi-Ken's picture

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES...

The New Republican Party Of Stupid will destroy America.

Peter_Griffin's picture

How did Rick Parry with an A for America, an A for Iowa do?

 

http://www.colbertnation.com/colbert-superpac/

 

If Paul didn't come in second I would say we should give away Iowa....  I just can't beleive Bachmann won any poll, no matter how flawed.

snowball777's picture

4% (or double the Gingrinch)...without showing up!

Flakmeister's picture

Newt will pack it in soon.... just let him crawl back into the hole he came from...

Caggge's picture

Newt never wanted or thought he could win. He saw Palin cashing in and thought he could do it too. I bet when he walks away...he will leave a mountain of debt behind him. Pretending to run for President shouldn't be a money making endeavor.

Miss anthrope's picture

Thanks again Tyler for a bright spot in a gloomy world

 

Monedas's picture

What a bunch of sick pukes ? The Republican field is impressive ! Anyone of them would be an improvement over Obama and an asset as a leader in almost every puke country on the planet ! This cynicism is absurd ...... especially when the cynics say Obama and Pelosi and Frank aren't any worse ! Monedas 2011 I can take the whole ZH poster cluster to the wood shed ! Yeah !

snowball777's picture

Not a single viable candidate to be had. Don't stop believin' though...Obama is counting on you.

malalingua's picture

voting for Ron Paul is an intellectual vote and we have a lot of work on our hands trying to fix what the government schools have successfully accomplished. 

snowball777's picture

He's from Texas...where they expurgate all the schoolbooks, right? Not that you'd be exposed to them much, being home-schooled by uncle-daddy and all.

 

nmewn's picture

Yeah, that federal government education thingy has worked out swell.

Gimp's picture

Lets make sure we include all the important LGBT's in the school textbooks. Very inportant for a six year old to look up too. GMAFB...

nmewn's picture

Yes, clearly they need to be taught this by complete strangers at such a tender age.

snowball777's picture

Why not? You afraid they might learn about the history of Republican abuse of constitutional rights?

nmewn's picture

You mean like gun control or bastardization of the commerce clause?