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Bank Of America To Fire 16,000 By Year End

Tyler Durden's picture


Curious why nearly 4 years ago to the day Ben Bernanke and Hank Paulson told Ken Lewis to purchase Merrill Lynch "or else" (but to make sure everyone gets paid their bonuses bright and early with no cuts)? It certainly had to do with the stock price and preserving the wealth of the shareholders. It had little to do with making the company viable in the long run, unfortunately, as the just announced news of a massive tsunami of 16,000 imminent terminations at the company confirms. All BofA did then was to take on dead weight at gunpoint, which it now has to shed. It also shows that despite rumors to the contrary the US economy is not getting better, the US financial system is not getting stronger, faith in capital markets is not returning (based on future staffing needs at banks), US tax revenues by the highest earners will go down, and the closed loop that is a procyclical economic move will just get worse as there are fewer service providers providing financial services, in the process taking out less consumer debt to keep the GDP "growing." What will also happen by January 1, 2013 is that BofA will no longer be America's largest employer, with the total headcount of 260,000 at year end being the lowest since 2008, and smaller than JPM, Citi and Wells.

Charting the sad decline of the very appropriately named bank:

From the WSJ:

The reductions for the final six months of the year, outlined in a document given to top management, are part of a larger effort to retool Bank of America into a leaner and more focused enterprise. The plan is designed to make the company take less risk, generate more revenue out of existing customers and use an investment banking operation inherited from Merrill Lynch & Co. to become a major deal maker around the world.


On Main Street, the refocused company will have fewer branches and a smaller mortgage operation, the document shows.


Chief Executive Brian Moynihan is trying to speed the company's transformation into a smaller and more efficient operation as he tries to persuade investors that expenses can be adjusted to compensate for revenue lost to new regulations, an uneven economy and shaky markets. Since becoming CEO in 2010, he has shifted away from a nationwide expansion strategy embraced by his predecessors Hugh L. McColl Jr. and Kenneth D. Lewis, and shed many of the businesses that he considers to be nonessential.


Hitting the new staffing target would fulfill a year early Mr. Moynihan's pledge to slash the bank's workforce by approximately 30,000.


"If they want to make any headway toward improving profitability," said Sterne Agee & Leach Inc. senior banking analyst Todd Hagerman, "they need to accelerate the timeline."


In the run-up to the financial crisis, Bank of America's staff rolls ballooned as the company acquired rival financial institutions and pushed into every corner of the financial system, culminating in the 2009 purchase of Merrill Lynch.


But the 2008 acquisition of Countrywide Financial Corp. turned Bank of America into a huge mortgage lender just as the U.S. housing market collapsed, and left the company more exposed to any other major bank to the severe economic downturn that followed.


While most of the cuts are expected to come from the side of the bank that deals with Main Street, according to the document provided to management, the company has also culled some of its less-experienced investment bankers.


Through the end of the second quarter, Bank of America had reduced the ranks of junior investment bankers by 23% since September 2011, according to the document.

So while BAC shareholders may be happy for a few hours as even more costs are shed (even if at the expense of future revenues), the biggest loser is once again the US taxpayer, as 16,000 taxpayers (from the highest tax bracket) no longer pony up for the "common good." One day, though, we are certain that BofA will do everything in its power to repay the Treasury and taxpayers for the fact that it is even still around. Just not yet.


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Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:50 | 2814276 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




You're fired!!!


Hopefully Obama is transformation takes lots of boots on the ground.


If you play your cards might get to work in Uganda.



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:54 | 2814289 duo
duo's picture

47...47...47...48...48...can we hit 51% by November?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:07 | 2814312 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



That's the goal, right - 51% of the voting public gubbmint-dependent makes re-election a lock (and might lighten the load for the mickey mouse and obituary votes...)

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:23 | 2814354 knukles
knukles's picture




The Illuminated Glory of Successful Gubamint Bailouts

BoA, GM, GS, JPM....

What else could go wrong?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:23 | 2814595 Badabing
Badabing's picture

 .     I just wanted to say that 16,000 employees laid off is insignificant compared to the VIPs walking because they didn’t get a $2.500,000 bonus. Its probably just janitors anyway.   

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:49 | 2814716 pasco35
pasco35's picture

I'd like to see 160,000 get fired. That would be awesome!!!

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 10:43 | 2814947 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I'd like to see 160,000 fired from DHS.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:24 | 2814359 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

And could it be possible that Obama has the database of EBT folks along with telephone number in order to do get out the vote calls? No that could not be possible could it?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:22 | 2814352 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Or a job delivering MREs to FEMA camps...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:57 | 2814754 James
James's picture

Found this article on Forbes site.

Writers take on the numbers was interesting.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:26 | 2814365 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

Not to worry, I'm sure they can all find jobs at their respective local hollow point bullet manufactering facilities.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:59 | 2814475 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I hope they don't compete for my job at Walamrt bagging groceries.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:17 | 2814566 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Somehow, I am unable to work up any tears for BofA.



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 10:29 | 2814895 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Looks like OWS will be getting some new dirty hippies.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:50 | 2814277 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture



16,000 down, and 259,000 to's a good start.

Fuck them.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:55 | 2814293 duo
duo's picture

there's only one company I hate more than BAC, and that's Monsanto. 

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:07 | 2814313 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Alas Solyndra.......the good guys never win.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:11 | 2814323 duo
duo's picture

I'm waiting for BAC (who services my mortgage) to "forget" to pay my property taxes through escrow, then show up in January with papers saying they bought my house from the county for not paying my taxes, and then throw my stuff into the street.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:19 | 2814338 malikai
malikai's picture

Your statement regarding monsanto is so offensive!!!

How could you hate the good american company which brought us such spectacular gifts as Terminator, Roundup, and Agent Orange?

Thankfully, Michael Taylor is now head of the FDA, where he can really do some good for the world.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:21 | 2814588 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

You might find this recent documentary interesting, as Monsanto finds itself front and center:

"Why in the World are They Spraying?"

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:59 | 2815169 jayman21
jayman21's picture

LOL - Yep, good watch.  

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:56 | 2815160 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Who the fuck would junk you DUO over Monsanto?  Trolls are out and about today.


We have nice weather in NYC today.  Brought to you by Monsanto.  Let's see how many trolls I can get to junk my ass.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:56 | 2814294 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

If they keep the tellers and start with the leadership and lawyers they have a chance.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:04 | 2814304 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

And moral hazard be thy name.

That is the fallacy ... that we can't run the financial system without them ... upper management.  It isn't the peon who needs to be fired.

Out of 300,000,000 people in the US ... there's a big applicant pool for best and brightest.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:42 | 2814413 Debtonation
Debtonation's picture

They could probably get a job at John Corzine's Hedge Fund.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:37 | 2814397 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Bankers away my boys, bankers away...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:24 | 2814601 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

How will this influence Charlotte, NC unemployment:

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:50 | 2814279 Debtonation
Debtonation's picture

They must be insolvent.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:51 | 2814282 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



That's a word we don't use.....ever.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:13 | 2814331 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

right!...we prefer "book balancing challenged" here.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:54 | 2814457 Possible Impact
Possible Impact's picture

The solution: Fed will add more liquidity so as not to precipitate a disaster.

Although, if you are insolvent, dissolution is a normal reaction...



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:52 | 2814284 UGrev
UGrev's picture


/end heavy sarcasm.. 

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:50 | 2814439 XitSam
XitSam's picture

The media says so on Obama's behaf!  Select quotes from AP Sept 20th ...

 WASHINGTON (AP) -- The U.S. economy is showing signs of finally bottoming out: Americans are on the move again after record numbers had stayed put, more young adults are leaving their parents' homes to take a chance with college or the job market, once-sharp declines in births are leveling off and poverty is slowing.

 "We may be seeing the beginning of the American family's recovery from the Great Recession," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. He pointed in particular to the upswing in mobility and to young men moving out of their parents' homes, both signs that more young adults were testing out job prospects.

"It could be the modest number of new jobs or simply the belief that the worst is over," Cherlin said.

Richard Freeman, an economist at Harvard University, said ...

While poverty slowed, food stamp use continued to climb.

Government programs did much to stave off higher rates of poverty.

"There are signs among all these measures that the multiple downsides of the Great Recession have bottomed out, which is good news especially for young people who have seen their lives put on hold," said William H. Frey, a demographer at Brookings Institution. "There is some light at the end of the tunnel."

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:53 | 2814285 duo
duo's picture

The FIRE economy has to return to 10% of GDP or the US will not survive.  There's a long way to go.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:42 | 2814411 kito
kito's picture

The FIRE economy is burning to the ground.......not coming back despite ray dalios "beautiful" deleveraging.........

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:53 | 2814286 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of guys

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:21 | 2814348 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

What about the crew at JPM...or Shitibank?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:48 | 2814435 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

"I should send flowers" to JPM.  That sounds about right.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:53 | 2814288 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Seems like the bankers always do this enmasse just before an election.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:54 | 2814290 not fat not stupid
not fat not stupid's picture

16,000 more for the lazy nose-picking 47%. Maybe 48% now.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:48 | 2814434 RiskAverseAlertBlog
RiskAverseAlertBlog's picture

Nice. That really is the point, too. Hyperinflationary shutdown of the physical economy over recent decades now moves into the financial economy, while the denser of the 1% (these, of course, being presidential material) just don't get it yet.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:42 | 2815310 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Bankrupt American Airlines has handed out over 11,000 60 day notices. 

So add those in, you are at 49%.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:55 | 2814292 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Good riddance. BofA is one of the worst. The ML people hate them. That $5 fee garbage last year was just shitballs insane. The ML folks wanted to strangle the BofA side. You don't charge a $5 fee with people who have millions with you. Period.

And mortgage rates may be low, but they won't give anyone those rates. And they certainly won't refi you at those rates. It's easier to just buy a new house (preferably with lower property taxes) than refi your house.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:57 | 2814296 uff the fluff
uff the fluff's picture

Um, no. There is no reason whatsoever to posit that high employment in the financial sector is synonymous with economic strength.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:43 | 2814692 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

It has nothing to do with economic strength and everything to do with tax receipts, which provide the ability to maintain the facade of economic strength when coupled with the collective stupidity of the American people.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:14 | 2815211 odatruf
odatruf's picture

Why even worry about tax receipts?  The Fed now just adds zeros to their digital balance sheet and then loans the government money.

Why would we even bother to collect a dime from - say, half* - the people when the Fed can just conjure it up?

* this is intended to be a factual statement.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 07:58 | 2814299 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:00 | 2814301 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Well, that is good news.  So...what is that...four years of being hangers on?  And for what?

It is a good start, but more banker pink slips, please.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:01 | 2814302 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

Ho hum! 

Maybe a few less laughing at the OWS protesters on the sidewalk below.........


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:03 | 2814306 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Not getting stronger? Ummmm... Dead weight, dead wood.

Removing dead wood might be an 'american' way to grow stronger.

'American' candidate to US presidency, Romney, has one slogan going like "for a stronger middle class"

By pushing under the train one part of the US american middle class and redistributing the released consumption to the other part of the US american middle class, maybe this part will indeed grow stronger.

Does one grow stronger through concentration of wealth?
Ask an 'american'. They have their own point of view on that.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:04 | 2815183 prains
prains's picture

your engrish grammar is no workee

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 13:20 | 2815488 akak
akak's picture

But his mindless and kneejerk anti-American bigotry is in full flower.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:03 | 2814307 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

So while BAC shareholders may be happy for a few hours as even more costs are shed (even if at the expense of future revenues), the biggest loser is once again the US taxpayer, as 16,000 taxpayers (from the highest tax bracket) no longer pony up for the "common good."


I think Snorgtees should be printing T-Shirts that say "I'm a Taxpayer...Are You?"  Would really salt the class warfare wounds nicely.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:04 | 2814311 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

On a world scale, as any USD holder pays taxes to the US. It encompasses a lot of people...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:09 | 2814319 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



AA...first post by you without "US citizenism" in it.  What gives?  Little "chink in the armor"?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:26 | 2814322 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



I hope you don't work for ESPN.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:36 | 2814393 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

First post indeed. That is a bold claim, as required by 'americanism'

If honour was a value in 'americanism', I could lay a business collecting bucks anytime an 'american' claims that it is a first post without US citizenism in it.

But, hey, even if this wont grow me a millionaire, 'americans' wont give the money. Kind of stuff they can not do, admitting they are wrong, costing them bucks...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:07 | 2814510 malikai
malikai's picture

AA, I'm ignorant (and stupid).

Can you please explain what 'citizenism' or 'american citizenism' is?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:16 | 2815221 odatruf
odatruf's picture

malikai - you won't get an answer.  I've asked before.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 13:22 | 2815494 akak
akak's picture

Sure he will --- it just won't make any sense, like the rest of AnAnnoyingMouse's bigoted and idiotic gibberish.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:12 | 2814326 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Don't start making sense now, it will hurt your existing idiom.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:11 | 2814321 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Let bad business models fucking fail already.

Wah wah wah, guess what, maybe there isn't any real fucking value in their labor after all.  Fuck the paper pushing cronies.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 14:43 | 2815750 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture


Need to revise that "I'm not a taxpayer......are you?  Sucker!"

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:04 | 2814308 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

But if you add in the Birth/Death adjustment, and account for seasonal factors, then BAC actually hired 3300 people, proving once again that Bernanke's models allow him to keep up at least one end of his duelling mandates.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:20 | 2814328 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

And don't forget King Barac Hussein's "created or saved" part - so, 3300 jobs created and another 259,000 saved!!!!

Damn - 262,300 jobs created or saved just at BoA!  Imagine how many jobs are being created or saved across the entire economy!  

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:18 | 2815230 odatruf
odatruf's picture

All the proof you need is to look at the Dow and S&P.

Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:04 | 2814309 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Man ...they better print money forever.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:07 | 2814315 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Deathwatch part deux.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:12 | 2814330 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the top never gets cut. the elite never take a loss. somebody else did right obuma?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:08 | 2814318 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Bank of America, shouldn't even be in business.  Fire them all.  Bloody sheep.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:14 | 2814333 resurger
resurger's picture

How about he fires himself first!

Fuck BAC

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:16 | 2814334 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Well they always say that all the brightest work for the banks so if they can do what they claim they can, we'll be living on mars in 5 years from now and travelling in star trek types of ships :)


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:19 | 2814342 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

"Captain...I'm giving her all she's got, and I'm out of Tungsten!!!"

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:49 | 2814433 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Stuck in impulse power again......dammit Scotty do something......we're sitting ducks!


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:19 | 2814343 in-Credible Banker
in-Credible Banker's picture

You people are unnecessarily harsh.  


"While most of the cuts are expected to come from the side of the bank that deals with Main Street, according to the document provided to management, the company has also culled some of its less-experienced investment bankers."


So this means the branch rep who comes into work each day, in good faith, trying to do a ggod job for their clients, is out of a job.  The call centre rep, who who is your young son / daughter or mine, trying to get started in an organization on the ground floor, no longer has that opportunity.  


I find it appaling to read all these comments such as "fire them all", etc.  Really sad to see people celebrating the misfortune of 16,000 fellow citizens who had absolutely nothing to do with their own demise.  :(



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:22 | 2814353 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Sad, but true.  Regardless of how poor it is, management - responsible for the problems in the first place - will never get cut. 

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:42 | 2814369 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I know a lot of people who do far more than push paper by creating real goods of real value who have lost their jobs, through no fault of their own.  Nothing changes until the moral hazard is addressed.  let the bad bussiness models fail, anything else is fascism, period.


Suck it the fuck up, my guess is these assholes have far more saved then that craftsman or farmer who has been put out of business.

Bloody sheep.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:37 | 2814398 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

When you're in bed with the devil...well, c'mon now.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 14:46 | 2815759 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Sounds like you should change your name to "In-Credulous Banker".

Banks suck and are notorious for paying low wages.  Unless you're in the upper ranks.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:20 | 2814344 HD
HD's picture

Wait. BOA was Americas largest employer? Always thought it was Walmart.

I suspect most of the 16,000 jobs lost will be low level workers like tellers living paycheck to paycheck.

Is it really asking too much for one TBTF CEO, CFO and board to get shit-canned?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:33 | 2814382 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Actually, the United States Postal Service is America's largest employer.  And no, it does NOT run off taxpayer money.  The so-called "losses" are from refusing to pay/fund 70 years forward per employee into Federal Employess Retirement Plans and healtcare (which money actually just ends up in the general fund and is spent.).  The US Postal Service is the only organization in the world that is forced to fully fund retirement for current AND FUTURE employess 70 years into the future.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:48 | 2814430 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

The US Postal Service is the only organization in the world that is forced to fully fund retirement for current AND FUTURE employess 70 years into the future.

Somewhat untrue.  MBTA employees (the Massachusetts Transit system) is also forced to meet pensions for the future. 

AND if they want to get out of the pension plan they are in; they have to pay JPMorgan $100 million dollars.  OF (mostly) taxpayer money.

The worst thing? The Republican MA State Senate back in the 1980s signed into law that the MBTA must meet its budget every year.  And of course, instead of taking on the union to cut costs, they raise fares and cut service.



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:05 | 2814497 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Got to support the FEDex and Brown Doo doo...

They staffed post offices with veterans who had PTSD. Going postal was also part of the plan. Any effort to improve working conditions were turned down so the place could be full of machines, human or otherwise.

The postal service is seeing an intended kill-off.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:18 | 2814518 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

And no, it does NOT run off taxpayer money.


Run off? Well technically correct. It also has the option that most private companies don't, to beg congress for money to cover its massive losses, you know like banks or car companies. The USPS has revenue but still generates a loss to cover those costs. But to leave out obligations in pensions and health care would be accounting gimmicks and those that don't see that aren't looking at the real picture.

So in the end, one could argue that the USPS ultimately becomes a taxpayer liability simply because the USPS hasn't figured out a way to be profitable in modern times.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:15 | 2814556 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

What? Cancel their bonuses and keep on their employees?

My God, man, that's responsible free market thinking!

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:20 | 2814345 cornflakesdisease
cornflakesdisease's picture

Thoughts on my mind:

When we all work at McDonald's, how will America have a tax base?

Can we monitize the Grand Canyon?

Can you actually kill yourself with laxative pills?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:24 | 2814358 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Let bad business models fucking fail, go bankrupt, and let the well managed one succeed.  This is correct business cycle.  Arguing for anything else is bullshit fascism.  Let me guess, you think some bailouts are okay.  Good luck with the laxatives.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:36 | 2814388 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I would rather get a loan at a mcdonald's drive through than from bac. yes i want fries with that bitchez

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:43 | 2814416 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Not a bad idea. The McGrand. Pay as agreed or start flipping da burgers.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:01 | 2814998 edifice
edifice's picture

Of course you can monetize the Grand Canyon: use it as a landfill, for all of the bad paper the Fed will be buying, for eternity. Cover the whole thing with a huge blue tarp. TARP, get it!? I kills me...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:20 | 2814346 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

Well now, you know thoes employees probably are very stressed out and going a little mental in the process! maybe a ssi check in the cards for a select few.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:45 | 2814420 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

There is a new executive order in the offing; the Fed will be monetizing all consumer credit obligations of Obama voters just in time for the Christmas shopping season. Sounds like a pretty good deal; sign up before it's too late.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:49 | 2814437 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Maybe if the Fed did this, we'd actually get this economy moving (instead of buying up big banks' bad debts).


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:01 | 2814483 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

Yes, although the remark was made in jest, it would actually be an improvement to the actual policy.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:20 | 2814347 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Well it sure saved Merrill Lynch that's fer sure! Winnin' ugly is still winning folks! As for BofA...this is "only the beginning." those of you who have failed to heed the wisdom of the liquidationists...and I am a liquidationist fer sure now understand the peculiar glory of being a "bailout tycoon." the end result is still the same! Hence "all of you change but disabledvet does not." the question therefore is "after the firings" (ahem, ahem...CHRYSLER CORPORATION) then what? Hello! Financial media! Should BofA have a plan? You speak to him do you not? Indeed in the words of "YOU THE MEDIA"..."he comes to us!" yes? Well...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:27 | 2814368 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

i am sure virtual valerie will be a perfect replacement for 5000 customer service agents

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:03 | 2814489 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

Wait till you see virtual valerie's vagina; you will be impressed.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:37 | 2814396 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Jobless, strengthless, faithless, growthless recovery, bitchez!

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:40 | 2814406 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

I hear that in the past week FDIC contractors have been advised to prepare to staff up for bank-closure work...

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:44 | 2814417 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

nomura bank laying off 30% of investment brokers as well..banks in EU to follow..signs of a healthy recovery everywhere.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:44 | 2814418 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Dick Bove: "Buy BAC!"

Sometimes I think the only reason FDIC insured banks exist anymore is because of inertia.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:48 | 2814431 barroter
barroter's picture

Jr investment bankers getting axed. I wonder if they'll sing the praises of capitalism as they clean out their desks?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:12 | 2814544 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Corrupt, Crony Capitalism?

I doubt it.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:41 | 2815118 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

they are working on Survivor Phillipines now

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:49 | 2814432 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Obama and company juicing the economy since taking office.  It shows on this weekly.


Regardless if this is primary wave 3 or cycle wave c down, the bottom line is that the move from March 2009 to today is corrective.


The trend is down.   Nevermind government debt - check consumer debt - it's far worse.



Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:49 | 2814436 monopoly
monopoly's picture

You know, by reading this, that we are not even close to the end. Look at how many citizens still bank with this corrupt, insolvent, sick excuse for a bank for the people. They will help blow up the system again, and again, no one will be indicted. How can anyone with a brain bank with these squids. There are so many other options.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 10:39 | 2814927 Chump
Chump's picture

I don't know if you can count the fact that people still bank with BoA as evidence that we are not close to the end.  Folks getting caught with their pants down saying, "whoda coulda knowed???" is a pretty common aspect of a market dislocation.

But yeah, they won't get any sympathy from me, that's for sure.  I only bank one.  I have nothing.  I know nothing!

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:52 | 2814442 Count de Money
Count de Money's picture

Wait! But the Bernank says ZIRP will create more jobs.

Not if you work in the financial industry. In that case, ZIRP is the kiss of death.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 08:55 | 2814459 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

I have recently deposited funds, received credit cards, paid my bills, got a car loan, got a mortgage, got car insurance, got home insurance, run my credit reports, re-financed a commercial property, three LOC's, and anything I needed thru USAA online in Texas. I live several states away and I have never been to a USAA bank. Truth is, branch banking is as dead-as-a-doornail, and personal banking relationships at BoA have been replaced with a local rep sending your paperwork up-the-ladder, who sends it up-the-ladder, who sends it up=the-ladder. First, Tech made branch banking easier, now it has officially killed branch banking altogether.  

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:05 | 2814496 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

I still feel bad in a small way for Kenny when he was held at gunpoint to guy ML......bad, bad deal. Forced bad deal. Ken is an anti-christ for real but put in a bad sitch....

Should have let them die on the vine and be done.


Kinda like this "mass" on my's fine now and has been for who know how long....but I feel going in to get a biopsy would bring out 5 NEW PROBLEMS.....go in with 1 potential problem and come out with 5 big ones......these interns are not getting near my head! (not kidding either about the mass).


Now instead of having ML eat shit like they needed too long, long ago and life would go on nicely the fucks at the fed CREATE 5 NEW PROBLEMS OUT OF 1.....that is leverage baby!!!! not 33 to 1 but still.....

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:12 | 2814541 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

16,000 peeps to let go?

Lets hope one of the 16,,000 folks read Zerohedge and get so fucked off by their predicament they go with a revolver and have a word with the CEO, lets see if he will take a pay cut or forgive his bonus eh?

The Greeks had the 300, the Americans have the BOA 16,000.  What an epic tale to be told.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:21 | 2814590 Count de Money
Count de Money's picture

The CEO should just say "Go see Ben Bernanke."

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:16 | 2814561 aerojet
aerojet's picture

The highest earners never paid any income taxes to begin with!

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:18 | 2814571 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

It's sad to see the little squidlings leave the nest though...

So many will get eaten and not get a chance to live up to their squiddy potential.

Such is life.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:43 | 2814693 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Just giving more money to Jamie Dimon's food stamp racket.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:50 | 2814721 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

Jobless Recovery Bitchez

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:26 | 2815068 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

"Jobless Recovery"


That is very wicked.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2814936 howenlink
howenlink's picture

I closed my BoA account over a year ago and had a great time doing it.  I told the associate that I disagreed with the bail-outs, and disapproved of the Federal Reserve.  I was one of about seven people in the lobby that day waiting to close accounts.  It was a very uplifting and cleansing experience.

I predict the BoA branch in my community will be closed within a year.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2814937 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

Will they be receiving their unemployment insurance benefits in Gold coin?

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:46 | 2815135 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

yes. 14 milligram coated zinc coins 'valued' at $29.95 but with $0.79 of gold

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:09 | 2815019 pufferfish
pufferfish's picture



"16,000 people had their welfare payments cut" Is how this should read.

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:24 | 2815062 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture
Nomura Cuts Up to 30% of Investment Bank Jobs

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:31 | 2815083 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Bet everyone of those 16K contributed to Romney's campaign. LOL

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 11:44 | 2815129 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

At this point, all banks should just replaced with a piece of software, and be done with it.

There's no benefit from the "competition" between BoA and Citi and JPM. 

Just implode the whole "industry."

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