Bank Of America Locks Out Its Online Clients For Second Day In A Row

Tyler Durden's picture

No, this is not due to everyone pulling their money online at the same time. Uh uh. Not at all. Nosireebob. And no, those rumors that BofA will charge you $4.99 to access your account online are just that - rumors. At least for now.

Luckily, if you want to access your online account, you can. Oh wait, we meant to say you can't.

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junkyardjack's picture

When you walk up to the branch they turn off all the lights and pretend they're not home

bid the soldiers shoot's picture

. Coat the streets and sidewalks for two blocks in all directions with Venezuelan extra heavy crude.

Bokkenrijder's picture

Nothing to see here folk, move on!

fonestar's picture

Maybe they've switched to an ISDN feed?  That should save them at least $4.99/month on their internet bill.

maxmad's picture

Bank run, bitchez!

scatterbrains's picture

Ignore the above two commenters folks, they are  propagandists.. watch the local news in the next 24 hours for gas furnace explosions in their homes..  unrelated to mysterious drone fly overs.

Racer's picture

Too many trying to get their money out and close their accounts?

Dr. Richard Head's picture

That would suggest that more people have been pulled out from their slumber. Who would have thought the tipping point would be a $5 monthly charge.  In the grand scheme of things $5 a month was paltry in comparrison to the carnage BofA has brought about this country.

Last straw syndrome bitchez.

Missiondweller's picture

I'm in the process of closing my accounts after the announced db fee.


This is really making me nervous.

SilverRhino's picture

Walk down to an office of BAC and pull all your cash NOW.  Why wait for the rush? 

Missiondweller's picture

Luckilly these are primarily transaction accounts.


The wife and I hold lots of gold in the form of Philharmonics. We're half expecting a banking apocolypse.

bid the soldiers shoot's picture

Pay no attention to the man in the black ski mask and the muzzle of an Uzi sticking out of the top of his jacket.

ziggy59's picture

are you kidding?? ever play musical chairs? do you wait until you finish your coffee when your house is a blazing?  did the survivors on the titanic wait for the re3scue ships? I dont think soooo.

get the is king when you can get it..


Peterpaul's picture

This is just like the Northern Rock bank run...IIRC the bank made online access very difficult to help slow the outflow of money. Didn't help there, either.

What's Hugh Hendry's line, I suggest you panic?

tekhneek's picture

I'd panic if I had more than 100K in BAC, but I don't.

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

I almost forgot of a measly $600 that was hiding in there asleep. I was able to log-in from the 'temp unavail' front page no prob. Transfer isn't happening. Think I'll head over to speak to the barely English speaking $7.90/hr paid bank manager or one of his illustrious illegal alien staff tellers.

ziggy59's picture

600 bux? you aint running down to the nearest brancch and getting it? thats almost 20 oz of ag...ok..15 ASE o9r 1/3 oz of au....dont walk...friggin run!!


they're called bank runs for a dont loolygag into the bank and go...hmmm.. im thinkking of withdrawing my cash here say...i'll take whatever sized bills you got...even the junk ilver you sleaze buckets are hoarding in the basement vault...especially that..

DosZap's picture


Best get it out.

If it closes, and no one takes it over IMMEDIATELY, theFDIC has up to ONE year to make you whole on your previous balances.( as usual, read the fine print,it's what kills ya).

Who would want to wait a year, and guess where the dollar would be?.

Comay Mierda's picture

Uncle Sam writes post-dated checks bitchez!

sullymandias's picture

Oh yeah, I don't mind waiting for that FDIC claim to get processed. The check will be here in a couple days..

bid the soldiers shoot's picture

You don't look like the 'all your eggs' type. Although avatars can be deceptive. I found out the hard way.

Stranded Observer's picture

"He who panics first panics best."


I stole that from someone.  Can't remember who.

DonutBoy's picture

Yeah - actually I got in yesterday, but was locked out the day before.  I am down to a few hundred in each BofA checking account - nevertheless I'm going to close them on principle.

slaughterer's picture

If you like, you can:

--E-Mail Brian Moynihan at company headquarters to tell him what a douche bag he is

--plead with Congress to give us more money

--buy BAC stock today at an unusual discount

--make contributions to our legal team to help us win the litigation over our mortgage business



mantrid's picture

But, but, but... didn't Warren the Buffet buy it's stocks? That was supposed to fix things, right?


clones2's picture

Bullish for Margin Stanley...

Dr. Engali's picture

Don't worry uncle Warren says they are okay. I'm sure that your assets wiil be fine.

Cone of Uncertainty's picture

You fucking bitches want to see my bank?

Here you go, better get with the program:

haskelslocal's picture

What... ZeroHedge servers can go down for a few days but BofA cannot? Paranoids...

UGrev's picture

/end sarc.. 


there fixed it for you.

frieswiththat's picture

Wanna take a shot at guessing the difference? ZH HAS NO FIDUCIARY RESPONSIBILITY and is not tasked with trying to restore confidence in the banking system! Nor charges for service.

Troll Magnet's picture

WTF are you talking about, frieswiththat? Tyler pays me for every comment i post at $5 per letter! he/she/they haven't paid me yet but that's probably because Tyler is planning on offering me stock options or something. i'm keeping my mind open...and smoking hopium while waiting to get paid. hey Tyler! where's my money, bitch(ez)?!?

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

You've been swindled Troll Magnet. Tyler pays me $6.20 per comment. I had to pay Tyler an initial $475 to get started (for the ZH letter head and ZH official patch I could wear while in my basement). The ZH PayPerTroll Program has been a boon to my lifestyle. For every troll I bring on, I also get a 5% cut of their postings.

mick_richfield's picture

Oh yeah?  Well...   um...

I got a hat.

( I had to pay for it.... )


Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

You must have been trying to donate when the server was down.  Well it is back up.  You may proceed.

frieswiththat's picture

I can see the commercial now:

"Welcome to Zero Hedge Bank & Trust...because all other banks suck balls!"

Debt-Penitent's picture

I would open an account right now.

Especially if they offered GS calamari cirtificates.

logically possible's picture

No worries all of your deposits are insured by the FDIC, which is backed by your government, which is backed by you.   



UGrev's picture

Hark!! In the distance.. A fat lady wams her voice... 

parch702's picture

Seriously, BOA has got to be the worst bank in the world. In trying to get some business transacted last year, the bank manager could only phone the main office by using public access. Sitting there in her office, listening to the tapes, then pressing 1, then 2, then 1 was ridiclous. They deserve everything they get.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Join a credit union... screw Wall St.

I've had an account with the same credit union for almost 30 yrs... no problems and cheap credit card interest... I pay off the card every month and pay no fee for using it.

banksouttacontrol's picture

Just another day in this 3rd. world Banana Rebublic. Next power failures, bridge failures and gov ment shut downs.

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

"Government shutdowns".  Every cloud has a silver lining.

marcusfenix's picture

queue Mel Gibson-