Bank Of America Refutes Idiotic JP Morgan Take Over Rumors

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Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:05 | 1595143 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Lies we can believe in.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:15 | 1595186 oogs66
oogs66's picture

BofA says we would all get fired and lose our great pay packages and perks, so we are going to ride it out.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:02 | 1595397 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Error in Artice Title:

It should read - " BOA idiotcally refutes JPM take over rummor."

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 14:10 | 1595980 FEDbuster
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Apple announces "ibank", after buying Bank of America for $2./share.  The purchase was described as "chump change" by Jim Cramer of CNBC's Mad Money.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:26 | 1595235 HelluvaEngineer
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Why would you pay for something you're going to get for free?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:37 | 1595272 slaughterer
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B OF A SAYS TYLER DURDEN'S QUESTIONS ON POPULAR "NEWS DROP" BLOG "ZERO HEDGE" RAISE ISSUES THAT THE COMPANY CANNOT AT PRESENT DISCUSS IN PUBLIC.

B OF A RECOMMENDS THAT TYLER REFER TO MEREDITH WHITNEY'S ENDORSEMENT OF B OF A ON BLOOMBERG THIS MORNING FOR REASSURANCE ON THE CAPITAL STRUCTURE OF B OF A.

 

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 16:04 | 1596411 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

BAC leads financial sector upwards!---12;46 byline from Marketwatch. Well, Tyler you fought the market; and the market won.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:40 | 1595296 LetThemEatRand
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What is really funny is that the cartoon silver bears predicted this two weeks ago.    I don't always get my investing advice from cartoon bears, but when I do, I prefer the silver bears.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:41 | 1595303 Dasa Slooofoot
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hahaha +666

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 16:05 | 1596414 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

Moron.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:14 | 1595445 President Palin
President Palin's picture

Hopelessness and Pocket Change we can believe in.

 

No, you can't.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:05 | 1595144 Irish66
Irish66's picture

Think tank at the hole

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:06 | 1595146 bania
bania's picture

What was The Donald's BAC entry point again?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:14 | 1595181 orca
orca's picture

Donald Trump isn't firing Bank of America Corp.

The real estate titan and reality TV star told CNBC this morning that he bought the Charlotte bank's shares this week amid market turmoil that has especially hammered bank stocks. Trump told CNBC's "Squawk Box" program that even though he's not a stock person he also bought shares in Citigroup, Caterpillar, Intel and Procter & Gamble.

"We'll see what happens," he said.

Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/08/11/2519411/bank-of-america-has-...

That was August 11. High/low that day was 7,42/6,96. So let's say he went long at 7.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:25 | 1595226 bania
bania's picture

thanks for the link. and i thought i was the comedic hack.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:40 | 1595295 orca
orca's picture

The interesting thing is that Lord Sugar (some moron in the UK who impersonates the donals in the UK version of the Apprentice) also bought bank shares last week, with e.x.a.c.t.l.y. the same motivation, ie "normally I don't buy shares but in this case I do". He bought Barclays and Lloyds. His entries are deep in the hole, so Trump wins this one for now.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:50 | 1595335 goldm3mb3r
goldm3mb3r's picture

Just a point of order, The apprentice started in Blighty.

That said Sir Alan is a prize plum.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:29 | 1595249 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I guess nobody told Trump that price moves make "cheap" stocks even cheaper sometimes, especially for bottom feeders.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:31 | 1595261 Nascent_Variable
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When you have the extensive bankruptcy filing skills of The Donald, you don't really have to worry about dumping a bad investment.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:05 | 1595321 wisefool
wisefool's picture

If you build self edifying casinos, putting your brand out there in neon and then declare bankrupcy over and over again, you get to run for president on the campaign slogan "I made my billions honestly, I can get this country going again"

If you are a treasury secretary, and you have no idea what the problem is, you can get a bazooka and use it on the american people, taxing them by devaluing thier currency. And once you fire that bazooka,  you need further airstrikes from bernanke to turn the whole thing into a greenfield so that nobody questions the crony placement of the first shot.

And if you can't figure out how to use turbotax to file your taxes, and at the same time don't have the proper judgement -- considering how high profile and relevant your former, current and future roles in society are -- to pay a 25 year old H&R Block accountant $80 to do your taxes for you .... we will make you the head of the IRS.

We give Keynes a hard time here, but these guys understand it perfectly. I think the disconnect citizens have is honest. If as an individual you lived your life in the exact same way these guys did -- in both the spirit and letter of Keynsian law -- you'd be in prison.

vote for Ron Paul in 2012.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:08 | 1595156 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

CRASH AND BURN BITCHES!

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09 | 1595159 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

I NEVER HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN: [ J P MORGAN ]

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09 | 1595160 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Who else can take over BAC and survive?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:25 | 1595228 AngryVoter
AngryVoter's picture

The Bernank

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:28 | 1595244 AngryVoter
AngryVoter's picture

The Bernank

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:55 | 1595359 raki_d
raki_d's picture

FDIC

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:13 | 1595437 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Fire sale

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 14:53 | 1596164 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

Any person who offers half-eaten burger.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09 | 1595162 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Marriage vows yesterday all but thrown under a bus today. BoA is now naked.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:27 | 1595164 Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture

I find it hilarious that they feel compelled to answer all these rumors. It must have hit a soar spot for them. I do recall similar responses from Lehman and Bear.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:30 | 1595252 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

That is what I was thinking.  This deal is as good as done.  The only question is when the deal is signed.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:57 | 1595372 Placerville
Placerville's picture

So, that means we've got about two months before the BAC implosion?

October....sounds about right!

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:10 | 1595167 Darth Silver
Darth Silver's picture

nothing to see here.  please move along. 

seriously, move along!

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:10 | 1595168 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Grenade in da hole...

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:13 | 1595177 citta vritti
citta vritti's picture

nothing's confirmed until it's denied?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:24 | 1595219 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

nice handle CV. Lot's of vritti making news on the boards, eh?

I would like to refute all rumors of yesterday's earthquake. Yes, the leaning tower of DC is an optical illusion.

Rumors are news and news moves HFTs and HFTs move markets.

So simple? 

Vivek

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/precursor-03-bottom-falling-out-still-still-and-a-gander/

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:34 | 1595274 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

anyone going to above link will never find anything there except facts

go ahead!  see what i mean!  the swami w/ the big salami is a truly amazing self-propmoting mechanical apparatus, but where o where is his touch-hole buddy, falakpenis?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:06 | 1595414 citta vritti
citta vritti's picture

ORI -

thanks; glad someone's awake out there :-)

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 12:52 | 1595619 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

if zH's go to swami salami's site to  see if c_v "posts" there, too, sweep for harmful cookie-relaying "marketing ware" bots which ORI may have downloaded to your computer while you were there, ok? 

altho, if he sees this, he will, for sure, switch it off for a while

trust me

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 16:59 | 1596645 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Now that is a low Slewie. I understand that you are mad, drunk, drugged, medicated, have really poor self-esteem, are mad...whatever. 

But this shit?

eep for harmful cookie-relaying "marketing ware" bots which ORI may have downloaded to your computer while you were there, ok? 

 

You have no idea what you've invited on yourself.

Vivek

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:25 | 1595229 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Well, nobody's signed anything yet...

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:29 | 1595245 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

nice handle CV. Lot's of vritti making news on the boards, eh?

I would like to refute all rumors of yesterday's earthquake. Yes, the leaning tower of DC is an optical illusion.

Rumors are news and news moves HFTs and HFTs move markets.

So simple? 

Vivek

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/precursor-03-bottom-falling-out-still-still-and-a-gander/

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:49 | 1595326 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this woulda been even better and more "cosmic" if our resident leader in self-promotional advertiZing on zH had left the adverti-Zing off the secong one!

or(i):  if he'd noticed what he'd put up here for other to marvel at during the last 15+++ minutes

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:13 | 1595179 gigeze787
gigeze787's picture

CNBC: Cramer hinting Carlos Slim might buy a stake in BAC..."even though they (BAC) don't think they need" a capital injection. Stock is up 8.4% as of 1112ET...

Translation: BAC is desperate and broke, but PPT/NYFRB are using Cramer to negotiate in public to prevent a bank run...the real word on a equity stake is out on the street... but they are still haggling about the price with Slim (or whoever).

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:43 | 1595307 flacorps
flacorps's picture

It would make sense for Slim to get some more influence at BofA, which is under boycott pressure to terminate its outreach to illegal immigrants. I'm sure Slim has ways of making money on remittances, etc. that might be hampered if our illegals have trouble doing anything with pay that comes is a form other than cash.

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:14 | 1595180 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Zombie and Uber-zombie at the vampire's ball. Where is Sharon... and the fearless vampire killers?

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:37 | 1595285 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

found him!  right where he belongs!  what a great post, too!

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:20 | 1595185 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

You mean they're actually having meetings with JPM about this???

I know they're in discussion with banking consortiums in China but collateral is an issue...

Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:33 | 1595268 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Collateral?  They don't need no stinking collateral. Primary dealers only need to look at one side of the ledger.  The other side has unicorns and fairies prancing about a field of skittle trees.  Taste my rainbow.

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