Bank Of America Scrambles To Shore Up Capital: In Negotiations To Sell $17 Billion China Construction Bank Stake

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Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:57 | 1548348 aVian
aVian's picture

please go bankrupt...I get a free house

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:04 | 1548407 Pladizow
Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:25 | 1548515 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

Tyler, i did e-mail this to you a few hours ago:

BofA Sells Part of Mortgage Portfolio to Fannie Mae

Bank of America Corp. has agreed to sell part of its home-loan portfolio to government-controlled housing giant Fannie Mae, as the bank looks to shed assets and pare its exposure to an array of mortgage woes.

The deal, finalized last Friday, will deliver the rights to process and collect payments on a pool of 400,000 loans with an unpaid principal balance of $73 billion, people familiar with the deal said. The purchase price is more than $500 million, one...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904007304576498793010276516.html?mod=WSJ_hp_LEFTWhatsNewsCollection

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:03 | 1548666 Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture

Riiight.

So the US government now owns X thousand mortgages?

 

And the USA pretends it doesn't "do" socialism or state owned housing projects (outside of the ghetto)?

 

Riiight.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:33 | 1548816 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I swear I could hear Fascist Bank of America crying, even from where I live.  I took a look outside.  It was only someone's belt squealing on their POS car.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:38 | 1548833 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I want to go to my local Bank of (Many Illegal Aliens in) of America and piss all over their front door at night. 

All their collateral is in the back of a pickup headed to Mexico on mtgs, credit cards and auto loans to illegals.

F*** Banco de America.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 23:33 | 1549737 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

You mean European mortgages. This is a derivatives timebomb from Europe, mostly France. And, our sorry assed politicians took out any meaningful reform from Dodd Fwank sellout and there is still 850 TRILLION with a T, of these WMD that the banks are still exposed to and still playing with. Now we have the Bear Stearns moment part 2 European version.  We do not have the money to bail out  the entire financial system again without destroying the dollar. With Obama picking grapes and congress touring Israel their motherland. We Are PHUCKED and going down this time hard. I hope to see everyone on the other side, the excrement is starting to hit the fan blades. 

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:26 | 1548778 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

This needed editing, I have gone to the trouble to correct the text of the posted excerpt:

 

BofA Sells Sack of "Empty Boxes" (AKA Unsecuritized SHIT) to The United States

Bank of America Corp. has agreed to sell the non performing part of its home-loan portfolio to government-controlled housing giant Fannie Mae (which is already loaded down with underperforming and unsecuritized shit), as the bank looks to shed assets and pare its exposure to an array of mortgage woes.

The deal, finalized last Friday, will deliver the rights to process and collect payments on a pool of 400,000 toxic loans with a never to be paid principal balance of $73 billion, cocksuckers familiar with the con said. The purchase price is more than $500 million, one...

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:37 | 1548825 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Contrary to opinion, most articles are greatly improved with four letter words.  Bank of America really should have been called Piece of Shit Bank of America and Fannie Mae should have been called cocksucking Fannie Mae.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 20:52 | 1549353 Taku
Taku's picture

Why is BAC still around?

Oh, right, had to bail out the bankster elites.

Using taxpayer money.

YOUR money.

They still aren't in jail, are they?

Now that they've cashed out, and left you holding the bag, they'll let her fail this time.

To be cleaned up with, you got it, your taxpaying dollars.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 20:34 | 1549273 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

rights to process and collect payments on a pool of 400,000 loans

Collect payments?

Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaha!

Process write offs is more like it.

 

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:29 | 1548533 Breaker
Breaker's picture

"please go bankrupt...I get a free house"

Careful with that. Michael Milken might do a hostile BOFA takeover and then sell off your mortgage to an organization that can actually do foreclosures correctly :)

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:56 | 1548634 darkstar7646
darkstar7646's picture

Or, worse, you get the door knocked down by Xe as they basically open the FEMA camps and start with the selective defaulters...

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:53 | 1548894 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Buy syringes. All sizes. From your local medicine store for people who have to take insulin and from your local vet for people who have to dope up bulls. You'd be surprised what a 100 cc syringe with the right household ingredients and needle that is visually stunning will make a guys ball sack look like. You can learn chemistry and physics. Which chemial makes his nuts purple. Which makes his nuts green.

Homeschooling. It's the wave of the future.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:58 | 1548914 Transformer
Transformer's picture

You do not get a free house.  The story of what happened around failing banks in the 30's is not widely known.  A bank in the midwest would fail.  Say, a farmer who keeps his money in the bank, and has a mortgage on the farm with the same bank, loses all the money he had on deposit.  But his mortgage is bought by some other bankd for 5 cents on the dollar and that bank then comes after the farmer, foreclosing because the farmer can't operate without his funds and can't pay his mortgage.  This is why the people hated the banks, and loved the bank robbers like Bonnie and Clyde and Pretty Boy Floyd.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 20:40 | 1549299 j0nx
j0nx's picture

My one credit card is with BoA and I have used it for staples and other equipment in the past 3 months and have no intention of paying it off if BoA fails. I will offer to pay the company who absorbs BoA the same percentage of the debt that they paid for BoA plus 3% for their trouble. That is only fair. If they don't like that deal then they get DICK. Why the F should I have to pay 100c on the dollar for it when they didn't? Screw that shit.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 21:44 | 1549534 laomei
laomei's picture

because doing that is "immoral" according to most americans.  bank can pay jack shit for the debt, companies can "restructure" their debts and pay nothing... oh, but you the consumer had better pay every last dime plus interest and penalties or else!

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:54 | 1548624 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

This is looking more and more like a STEARN BEAR is in the house....

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:25 | 1548765 NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

Same here! But alas, I suspect when this evil beast falls there will be several more behind it, that will pick the carcass clean, then direct you to start sending your money to them......

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:52 | 1548885 Freddie
Freddie's picture

BAC is a "buy." Paulson loves it and Bruce Berkenstein of Fairholme mutual fund loves BAC.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:57 | 1548352 printmemoney
Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:03 | 1548404 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

GLD? Is that anything like gold?

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:16 | 1548480 Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

No. It isn't even spelled prperly. That was a clue which many missed.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:26 | 1548518 william shatner
william shatner's picture

No, get the fysical stuff.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:53 | 1548623 Robert Neville
Robert Neville's picture

I think it's short for gelding.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:40 | 1548845 Freddie
Freddie's picture

GLD?  I think that spells tungsten wrapped in gold foil.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:16 | 1548473 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Wow. I am now totally reassured. I'm buying some of that GLD stuff as soon as I don't pay my mortgage.  Man, gold I don't have to bury. Cool.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:57 | 1548353 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

GS got hammered today. Blowtorched, one might even say. 10% down, unbelievable that God's work go so unappreciated by.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:00 | 1548381 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

lol

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:07 | 1548432 dejapfc
dejapfc's picture

LOL

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:16 | 1548478 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Large increase in the Atheist trade.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:57 | 1548358 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

BAC = $3.50

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:04 | 1548405 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

...and will be purchased by the Loch Ness Monster.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:04 | 1548411 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

What's that on a per share basis? I presume you speak of market cap.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:28 | 1548512 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

I presume it should be broken up. Bank of America is a piece of shit in it's current state, it's ugly.

I wouldn't have sex with a girl with herpes (in and around) her mouth area, and with scabs up and down her legs. That's what BAC looks like. You can touch it but I wouldn't recommend it. 

Honestly, I wouldn't even touch it @ $3.50 with Moynihans dick on a 10 foot pole; it's diseased.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:29 | 1548538 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Bank of America is a piece of shit

TBTF: Too Big To Flush?

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:31 | 1548811 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

With this simple, poetic, philosophical observation, you went right to the heart of the matter.

We are going to need a plan B. Take it out of the toilet by other means.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:43 | 1548851 jomama
jomama's picture

who do you think you're kidding?

we all know you can't cop a woody without viagra.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 18:48 | 1548865 Freddie
Freddie's picture

In BAC's case - the girl has herpes in her private area and anus including rectum.  

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:57 | 1548360 SilverDoctors
SilverDoctors's picture

Gonna be fun when this one (BAC) blows. 
I have a feeling we'll limp into the weekend, and BAC and SocGen will both be officially bailed out Sunday night before the Asian open

http://silverdoctors.blogspot.com/

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:19 | 1548490 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

BAC to be burried at sea - they are already dead, you will have to take our word for it. Now on to eating peas...

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:31 | 1548546 Breaker
Breaker's picture

"BAC to be burried at sea - they are already dead, you will have to take our word for it. Now on to eating peas..."

Obama got BAC with the Seals. They're making a movie about it for release just before the election.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:00 | 1548363 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Bove said they were 'well capitalized' the other day.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:35 | 1548566 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Don't listen to Bove, he's a real Dick.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 20:02 | 1549165 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

He reminds me of 'The Architect' from The Matrix only much worse at math.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:58 | 1548370 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

Looks like BAC's been picked to be the patsy this go round.  Sorry about your net worth, Mr Moynihan.  Ouch.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:59 | 1548374 gangland
gangland's picture

TYLER<

 

thas consistent with my bankruptcy thesis and what brian said today visavis selling non-core ASSSSSSSSS

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:59 | 1548378 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

We now get to see exactly what a failure the Fr-Odd bill really is.

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 17:00 | 1548380 gangland
gangland's picture

 FUKIN AYYYYY!!!!!!!

call em on it!

Wed, 08/10/2011 - 16:59 | 1548379 Critical Path
Critical Path's picture

Just a matter of time until JPM absorbs all banking activity in the country.  $2 trillion in assests already, why not make it double.  What sort of discount do they aquire BAC's only good assets at?  Who gets forced to carry the baggage of Country Wide? oh, the tax payer? thanks...

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