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Bankia No Longer Throwing In The Towel

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday's post of the day was the revelation that nationalized Bankia was throwing in the proverbial (free, Spiderman-embossed) towel with every €300 deposit account. To anyone who managed to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer (the other one of course being Goldman's trade reco to buy stocks and short bonds from March 21, which as noted yesterday has lost 29% in two months): as of today, the offer has been pulled. Did the bank run out of towels? Was it embarrassed at exposing its dirty linen? Or did the bank have to pledge all remaining towels as its only remaining collateral at the ECB for tens of billions in €s? Sadly, we will likely never know.

 

 

 

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Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:18 | 2478729 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

Word is they will give out Facebook shares instead. They will cost less than the towels

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:21 | 2478747 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Probably never got a license from Marvel to distribute the Spiderman towels as they were doing.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:06 | 2478793 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Hey....those Spidey towels are pretty freakin cool!

 

Maybe they'll come out with the new Superman towels denouncing America.

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:08 | 2478934 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

The Superman towels, if worn tied around the neck and behind you, will actually make you fly. All creditor customers are welcome to try by exiting the bank from highest floor.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:39 | 2478798 strannick
strannick's picture

Dang ZH. That is some hysterically hilarious shite.Your coverage just made these towels collectable ebay treasures. Now if only their bonds could catch a bid

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 10:15 | 2479263 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture

They read Zerohedge???

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:22 | 2478732 bdc63
bdc63's picture

OMG ... this just keeps getting better and better-er

No more towels?! -- well, it looks like I can cross "signing up for a Bankia account" off of my 'to-do' list for the day.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:16 | 2478734 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

It's time for them to hit the showers and pick up that bar of soap on the floor...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:17 | 2478737 CreativeDestructor
CreativeDestructor's picture

i guess that was a RUN ON TOWELS

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:21 | 2478748 jcamargo
jcamargo's picture

How do you wire a towel to Germany? Maybe we should call Superman.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:17 | 2478738 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

SPIDER SCAM T-SHIRT

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:19 | 2478746 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

"Oh! what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive!"

Walter Scott

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:18 | 2478741 Itch
Itch's picture

Spanish buyers of London property up 21% in April, but towels are nice too.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:21 | 2478745 bdc63
bdc63's picture

so the first rats to abandon ship get flats in London? ... nice ... I wonder how many of them are bankers -- Lord knows what London needs is more bankers ...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:18 | 2478742 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

Austerity Bitchezzzzzzzz

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:19 | 2478743 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Classic Headline! :-)

Even Phillip K Dick could not save Bankia, obviously...

ori

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:23 | 2478751 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

OK.  But where are the Bank Runs?  Are the Spanish sheeple just stupid?  We need Bank Run Dog!!!!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:27 | 2478765 bdc63
bdc63's picture

you watch -- the same exact thing will happen here in the US.  People always believe "it can never happen here" until it is actually happening

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:25 | 2478756 wildsilver
wildsilver's picture

They must have had an inside word on the tide going out and wanted to keep the towels to preserve their modesty.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:25 | 2478757 JackT
JackT's picture

Damn, unrelenting..keep at em'!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:26 | 2478758 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

As the tide goes out - or the swamp drains if you prefer - the towels are needed to cover up the banksters exposed ass(ets).

Pete

PS

God help me, but it was Buffet who said "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:27 | 2478760 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Oh shit...I thought you were joking around with the towel bit!

 

hahahaha......omg......it's not really funny that they are fucked...it only means we are all fucked too....

 

Much like a drowning person....THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN WITH THEM.......IF YOU LET THEM

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:27 | 2478761 q99x2
q99x2's picture

An elite gave everyone's money to an insolvent bank. Imagine that.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:29 | 2478769 Al Capowned
Al Capowned's picture

Apparently the offer has changed to sanitary towels as the European markets are such a sea of red..

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:36 | 2478797 PR Guy
PR Guy's picture

You'll probably find the Germans - who are going to Spain in droves at the moment because they no longer feel safe holidaying in Greece - purloined all the towels to throw over sun loungers at 5am every day

(in case you don't know, the Germans on holiday anywhere in Europe always get up really early to bag the best sun loungers by the pool by throwing their towels over them and making them generally look 'occupied' (occupation: something they seem to be very good at doing historically)

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:37 | 2478802 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Hope I didn't harsh them when I hoped that their Spanish copy was better than their English copy yesterday.

Honestly.

(Really...)

If you try to dig down to "Bankia Offers" now you just get bounced. Maybe they're so desperate that you now have to stump up €300 before they'll let you read it now? Yeah, that'll work...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:39 | 2478809 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Those towels will come in handy mopping up after the Save The Euro bunga-bunga party.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:40 | 2478816 JimBob'sDog
JimBob'sDog's picture

Germans like towels

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:45 | 2478833 giggler123
giggler123's picture

Useful for wiping up the blood in the streets after all the mess.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:50 | 2478851 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I stand in the presence of brilliance.

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 08:53 | 2478864 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Problem is the design on the towel doesn't look like a spider, it looks like the old spanish inquisition torture device: the pear of anguish.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:00 | 2478894 Txotxete
Txotxete's picture

Occupy BANKIA, Flamenco Style:

http://youtu.be/iop2b3oq1O0

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:22 | 2478986 Txotxete
Txotxete's picture

Trying to find an English subtitled version... but you get the idea..."For you the money, for me nothing"

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:04 | 2478907 HD
HD's picture

The amazing Spiderman - who believes that with great power, comes great responsibility - objected to his image being used on towels to cover up a sticky web of lies.

The bank will now be giving away Batman towels - as the dark knight and the boy wonder Robin are a little more understanding about the need to keep a few secrets...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:16 | 2478933 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Spaniards are known for a dark humor that is about as funny as the inquisition.

`As a courtesy to other clients ,please wipe off the jizz after having been banked in your face.`

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:23 | 2478992 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

Its a Catch-22 world.

The Bankia prop desk needed the towels as collateral. They've been leveraged 50 times over and are now propping up the pension system of  the garbage collectors union of Valencia as well as trying to corner the market on Egyptian cotton.

I keep expecting that the Spanish people are going to go to supermarket one day and find shares from Milo Minderbinder in place of all products and chocolate covered cotton replacing all food.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:27 | 2479012 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Maybe they noticed too many people soaking them in gas.

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:30 | 2479030 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

I guess they're still all wet then.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:48 | 2479038 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Patient: "We have a bad case of the bank runs."

Doctor: "Take two Imodium and keep those towels to sop that liquidity up."

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:19 | 2479637 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Damn, you didn't tell me it was embossed. I though it was painted on...

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:00 | 2479813 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

I know, would that have been an awesome souvenir of the ponziconomy collapse or what.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 17:37 | 2481318 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

There was probably such a rush of people opening new accounts they just ran out of towels.

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