Bankia No Longer Throwing In The Towel

Tyler Durden's picture

Yesterday's post of the day was the revelation that nationalized Bankia was throwing in the proverbial (free, Spiderman-embossed) towel with every €300 deposit account. To anyone who managed to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer (the other one of course being Goldman's trade reco to buy stocks and short bonds from March 21, which as noted yesterday has lost 29% in two months): as of today, the offer has been pulled. Did the bank run out of towels? Was it embarrassed at exposing its dirty linen? Or did the bank have to pledge all remaining towels as its only remaining collateral at the ECB for tens of billions in €s? Sadly, we will likely never know.



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Comay Mierda's picture

Word is they will give out Facebook shares instead. They will cost less than the towels

SilverIsKing's picture

Probably never got a license from Marvel to distribute the Spiderman towels as they were doing.

GetZeeGold's picture



Hey....those Spidey towels are pretty freakin cool!


Maybe they'll come out with the new Superman towels denouncing America.


Bahamas's picture

The Superman towels, if worn tied around the neck and behind you, will actually make you fly. All creditor customers are welcome to try by exiting the bank from highest floor.

strannick's picture

Dang ZH. That is some hysterically hilarious shite.Your coverage just made these towels collectable ebay treasures. Now if only their bonds could catch a bid

bdc63's picture

OMG ... this just keeps getting better and better-er

No more towels?! -- well, it looks like I can cross "signing up for a Bankia account" off of my 'to-do' list for the day.

Sudden Debt's picture

It's time for them to hit the showers and pick up that bar of soap on the floor...

CreativeDestructor's picture

i guess that was a RUN ON TOWELS

jcamargo's picture

How do you wire a towel to Germany? Maybe we should call Superman.

Wakanda's picture

"Oh! what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive!"

Walter Scott

Itch's picture

Spanish buyers of London property up 21% in April, but towels are nice too.

bdc63's picture

so the first rats to abandon ship get flats in London? ... nice ... I wonder how many of them are bankers -- Lord knows what London needs is more bankers ...

gatorengineer's picture

Austerity Bitchezzzzzzzz

Oh regional Indian's picture

Classic Headline! :-)

Even Phillip K Dick could not save Bankia, obviously...


SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

OK.  But where are the Bank Runs?  Are the Spanish sheeple just stupid?  We need Bank Run Dog!!!!

bdc63's picture

you watch -- the same exact thing will happen here in the US.  People always believe "it can never happen here" until it is actually happening

wildsilver's picture

They must have had an inside word on the tide going out and wanted to keep the towels to preserve their modesty.

JackT's picture

Damn, unrelenting..keep at em'!

ptoemmes's picture

As the tide goes out - or the swamp drains if you prefer - the towels are needed to cover up the banksters exposed ass(ets).



God help me, but it was Buffet who said "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked"

orangedrinkandchips's picture

Oh shit...I thought you were joking around with the towel bit!'s not really funny that they are only means we are all fucked too....


Much like a drowning person....THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN WITH THEM.......IF YOU LET THEM

q99x2's picture

An elite gave everyone's money to an insolvent bank. Imagine that.

Al Capowned's picture

Apparently the offer has changed to sanitary towels as the European markets are such a sea of red..

PR Guy's picture

You'll probably find the Germans - who are going to Spain in droves at the moment because they no longer feel safe holidaying in Greece - purloined all the towels to throw over sun loungers at 5am every day

(in case you don't know, the Germans on holiday anywhere in Europe always get up really early to bag the best sun loungers by the pool by throwing their towels over them and making them generally look 'occupied' (occupation: something they seem to be very good at doing historically)

Byte Me's picture

Hope I didn't harsh them when I hoped that their Spanish copy was better than their English copy yesterday.



If you try to dig down to "Bankia Offers" now you just get bounced. Maybe they're so desperate that you now have to stump up €300 before they'll let you read it now? Yeah, that'll work...

shovelhead's picture

Those towels will come in handy mopping up after the Save The Euro bunga-bunga party.

JimBob'sDog's picture

Germans like towels

giggler123's picture

Useful for wiping up the blood in the streets after all the mess.

GetZeeGold's picture



I stand in the presence of brilliance.


Miss Expectations's picture

Problem is the design on the towel doesn't look like a spider, it looks like the old spanish inquisition torture device: the pear of anguish.

Txotxete's picture

Trying to find an English subtitled version... but you get the idea..."For you the money, for me nothing"

HD's picture

The amazing Spiderman - who believes that with great power, comes great responsibility - objected to his image being used on towels to cover up a sticky web of lies.

The bank will now be giving away Batman towels - as the dark knight and the boy wonder Robin are a little more understanding about the need to keep a few secrets...

TheGardener's picture

Spaniards are known for a dark humor that is about as funny as the inquisition.

`As a courtesy to other clients ,please wipe off the jizz after having been banked in your face.`

brooklynlou's picture

Its a Catch-22 world.

The Bankia prop desk needed the towels as collateral. They've been leveraged 50 times over and are now propping up the pension system of  the garbage collectors union of Valencia as well as trying to corner the market on Egyptian cotton.

I keep expecting that the Spanish people are going to go to supermarket one day and find shares from Milo Minderbinder in place of all products and chocolate covered cotton replacing all food.

GMadScientist's picture

Maybe they noticed too many people soaking them in gas.


AcidRastaHead's picture

I guess they're still all wet then.

MsCreant's picture

Patient: "We have a bad case of the bank runs."

Doctor: "Take two Imodium and keep those towels to sop that liquidity up."

carbonmutant's picture

Damn, you didn't tell me it was embossed. I though it was painted on...

AcidRastaHead's picture

I know, would that have been an awesome souvenir of the ponziconomy collapse or what.

Kiwi Pete's picture

There was probably such a rush of people opening new accounts they just ran out of towels.