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Bankia Parent Revises 2011 "Profit" Of €41 Million to €3.3 Billion Loss

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It is rather amazing what one finds when a company which previously had allegedly posted a profit of €41 million, somehow becomes insolvent, needs a nationalization to avoid a full out liquidation, and gets bailed out by the state. One of the first things one finds is that the profit pitched to that particular class of gullible idiots, known as shareholders, was an outright lie. And yes, on that one very rare occasion when an auditor refuses to sign off on a bank's financials, in this case Deloitte, run far, and run fast. Instead what one finds is a massive loss. From Reuters: "BFA, the parent group of nationalized Spanish bank Bankia said on Monday it had restated its 2011 results to reflect a 3.3 billion euro loss, rather than a 41 million euro profit, following a bailout from the state. In a statement to the stock exchange regulator, BFA said the restated loss reflected a review of its loan portfolios and capital needs after a new audit and as part of the clean-up plan implemented by the government." Well, duh, something "new" better be reflected, or else the general public may just get the impression that banks are merely pulling numbers out of their glutes, that the entire balance sheet, income and cash flow statements are just a jumble of utter BS, and that keeping one's deposits in a system predicated on lies and fraud may not be the smartest thing. But no: that would imply one is inciting a bank run, and that is frowned upon by the very same government which does everything in its power to facilitate just the data manipulation that magically results in a profitable bank being on the verge of liquidation.

But that's not all. According to Spain's Expansion, the total loss could be far worse, more than double the just reported, to a total of €7 billion. Google translated:

Following a meeting of more than four hours, the board of directors of the entity on Monday approved the restated financial statements. Bankia matrix provided only consolidated data for the year 2011, yielding a loss of 3.318 million euros. However, individual losses would amount to 7,000 million BFA, according to financial sources.

 

The consolidated balance sheet losses gave the fruit of Bankia own numbers, which on Friday announced that it obtained a negative result of 2.979 million in 2011. In previous accounts, unaudited, BFA had lost 439 million in individual accounts, while recognized in consolidated profit of 41 million.

 

The red numbers are mainly due to the development of fair value of the share itself has BFA Bankia (52% in December 2011).

Indicatively, the move from a profit to a €7 billion loss, in a US context, is roughly the same as if US bank holding company X were to go from being profitable to posting a nearly $100 billion loss. Overnight. But only after the FDIC was invited to backstop the firm's suddenly underwater hundreds of billions in deposits.

Oops.

Luckily, there is always only one cockroach (ahem JP Morgan prop desk), and we are absolutely confident the €7 billion total loss, when officially announced will be the final one. Just as the final bailout bill of €19 billion will not be topped. Or was that €25 billion?

And nobody will need a European bailout. Ever.

 

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Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:15 | 2470310 johnconnor
johnconnor's picture

Enron accounting as its best

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2470322 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

This should be a big deal, but i'm so desensitized. Won't the crash just come soon?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:51 | 2470385 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

Another day, another bankster accounting fraud. Nothing to see here, move along.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 23:52 | 2470767 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Glutes FTW!! I luv this site! :>D

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 00:14 | 2470793 Bleeding Fart
Bleeding Fart's picture

Amazing. These numbers are kind of unreal at this point, no? I remember talking about the Panana Canal redo project with a friend from Europe and said to him, "Oh, it's only US$ 5 billion?"

And he said, "um... that's 5 billion."

me: "yeah, one aircraft carrier, or a few stealth bombers. whatevs."

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 00:38 | 2470819 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Accounting firm for bank: " WHOOPS "

Bank spokesperson: " Just a rounding error, sorry. "

Bank customer: " I would like to withdraw all my funds, please. "

Government:" Sorry, there's a 1000 Euro limit on withdraws. "

Advice; Get your money out of banks now, buy PMs, before it's too late.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:44 | 2470472 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

The answer is no.  Not soon

Every entity in power is maneuvering and inventing complexity designed to buy time. That many people all focused on that one thing will indeed buy time.

There are no plans for solution.  The only plans are to buy time.  

The end will come suddenly in a way that provides the time buyers an excuse that if such and such had only not happened, they would have had time to fix things.

 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:23 | 2470528 D-2
D-2's picture

<< There are no plans for solution.  The only plans are to buy time. >>

Brilliant choice of words.  I hope I can remember them.

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 06:34 | 2470989 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

It'll all be solved when the banksters all buy their farms in New Zealand and have a stash of PM's in the basement. The solution will be that there will no longer be anyone left who cares to pretend.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:26 | 2470533 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

And they promise to never ever do it again!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:35 | 2470545 Matt
Matt's picture

Problems have solutions. What we have here is a predicament. 

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 01:54 | 2470870 jumblies
jumblies's picture

Not sure if I'm desensitised or just amused at this point. I mean, if a large financial company full of financial professionals can't tell the difference between a reasonable profit and a serious loss, how bad are things in the non-financial companies not full of financial professionals? Hmm, perhaps not so bad at all.

 

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 06:43 | 2470996 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

Oh I used to be disgusted
And now I try to be amused.
But since their wings have got rusted,
You know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.
But when they told me 'bout their side of the bargain,
That's when I knew that I could not refuse.
And I won't get any older, now the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

Oh-oh.

I was watching while you're dancing away.
Our love got fractured in the echo and sway.
How come everybody wants to be your

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 02:10 | 2470876 prains
prains's picture

the couch giveth, the couch taketh away

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 04:24 | 2470934 Nachdenken
Nachdenken's picture

Wishes are horses but the banksters ride.  And ride on.  And on..

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:20 | 2470330 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Got any weed?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:24 | 2470337 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

And now it sounds like Greece is FINALLY going to leave the EURO?!

 

http://silverliberationarmy.blogspot.ca/

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:06 | 2470409 sharky2003
sharky2003's picture

If the Greeks are soo good at cheating, why can't TPTB in Greece just stuff the ballot box for the pro-bailout parties and declare victory?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:32 | 2470455 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

 

Greece Pours $22.6 Billion Into Four Biggest Banks

http://www.cnbc.com/id/47591006

 

 

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 04:30 | 2470936 Nachdenken
Nachdenken's picture

and Switzerland prepares for an Euro Crash. German news :  http://www.n-tv.de/wirtschaft/Schweiz-beugt-Euro-Crash-vor-article637054...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:38 | 2470361 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Futures are up...rally on!  It's all Bullshit!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:36 | 2470547 Matt
Matt's picture

good call, but a few hours behind the times:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/start-zombie-apocalypse-caught-tape

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:26 | 2470640 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Not behind the times at all--this is new (tonite) and identifies the guy who was eating face, (and gives quite a bit of background on him) You would have seen this if you had opened the link.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:11 | 2470422 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Well now...this should certainly ramp futures. Bullish!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:24 | 2470440 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Soon, very soon we will see an Enron event.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:38 | 2470551 max2205
max2205's picture

Rule 1: when the shit hits the fan, write off anything and everything that smells or is going to smell soon.

SOP

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:09 | 2470513 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Off topic, Russell Napier is detailing how to currency crisis would come in the US.

http://www.ft.com/home/us

Check out "Ubber-bear see value in Europe", he discusses how the Treasuries market would freeze.

So either default or monetizing to the roof.

Best,

Geoffrey.

 

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 00:24 | 2470808 StavropolJames
StavropolJames's picture

There's an old golfing joke that goes like this.  Two guys finish a par three and one guy reports his score as a 4.  The other guys says, "4?? You took 3 shots in the sand trap alone!"  The first guys then says, "Oh, yah.  Give me an 11." 

How is this Bankia report any diffrent than the golfing joke?

Shouldn't we at least start to smile or maybe snicker at financial reports right off the bat instead of waiting for the punch line?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:16 | 2470313 Conman
Conman's picture

And when spanish debt blows out even more the EuroPeoples will be on the hook sicne they retardedly accepted bonds as collateral for eurocash to bail out bankia. This level of ponzi-dom is mind blowing.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:18 | 2470320 knukles
knukles's picture

 

 

Don't forget the FED

They got All Fucking Sorts of European Horse Shit Collateral with the Swap Lines, etc.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:22 | 2470335 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Serious but niave question, would it be possible for the Fed to de-hypocate that collateral and divide it up bewteen the european owers of the Fed. Essetially buying back its shares with/to the eurotrash on its balance sheet?

Then the fed can reboot itself?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:35 | 2470356 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

umm its on the US books now, socialized, why in god's name would they move it? Unless they purchased something EVEN more toxic with it.

 

LOL!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:02 | 2470402 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I was thinking it could be a placation move. The US sheeple are waking up. Having the fed is one thing, but when people find out its biggest shareholders are foriegn banks/families they might get even more woke up and on the wrong side of the bed. I am not being sarcastic here. probably naive, but not sarcastic.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:19 | 2470433 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

o m g.

what percentage are "waking up"?

what percentage are willing to take action?

what action?

lol.

game over.

Herding Cats.

Follow Ron Paul?  OMG, another puppet!

Follow the Constitution? OMG, its a Bill for DEBT.

see the line after lol.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:45 | 2470474 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I think it the % is over 20% and growing. the MSM is losing eyeballs in the millions. People are looking for answers to  why the economy machine is not working anymore. The us system with Ben running the printing press and timmay runing the tax code is messed up enough. Dimon being on his own oversight board at the fed has people scratching their heads. Finding out that both the fed and the IMF are predominantly funded by US IRS, and are owned by foriegn interests might get them to stop watching DWTS and MMA long enough to send their congres person an email.

If I was Ben. I'd do it. He'd be a national hero.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 23:21 | 2470711 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

The reason why the MSM is losing eyeballs in the millions is because they adamantly refused to properly vet Barack Obama before the election in 2008 and thus saddled us with the worst president in American history. They know he is destroying the country, but they continue to protect his ineptness. The reason? Can't say anything derogatory against the first black president. It is political correctness (PC) taken to blatant and ruinous extremes.

It will destroy them... and the sooner the better!

Obama? He's self destructing very nicely on his own.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:53 | 2470491 knukles
knukles's picture

No.

The collateral is held against the swaps, not against the equity position of its shareholders.
Two entirely different premises.
And in nay case were they one and the same, it would either simply be a repayment of the swap line in exchange for the collateral or a collateral subsitution.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:39 | 2470554 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Thanks. I thought I'd give it a try. I mean if Legarde is going to use IMF funds on the old continent, why not let the Euroes take care of themselves with their own central bank. (Excuse for TPTB being "we can't help our own because all out capitol is tied up in the US FED")

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:45 | 2470374 Hulk
Hulk's picture

JPM with its interest rate swaps should get even more interesting...Can you say "infinite losses" ???

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:23 | 2470439 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

debts-tbt-bail out?

Oh! At the last second 100% of these assets was "Sold to US" thus saving certain banking system failure!

Zounds!  What foreward thinking action by the Plunge Team!

What next for the crew of the Minnow?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:54 | 2470391 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Which means all lucky American taxpayers are by default shareholders in this clusterfuck.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:16 | 2470314 knukles
knukles's picture

We got Facebook
And you got Bankia
We been analed and
You be Wankeas

Let's call the whole thing off

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:36 | 2470358 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

California Uber Alles!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:13 | 2470621 Harnar
Harnar's picture

Nice one! California above all (with debt and Jello Biafra).... unless you got it from "the social network" then -1 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:16 | 2470315 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Was Houdini a banker?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2470327 knukles
knukles's picture

He was the senior banker at Goldilocks who came upon the sure fire deal of doubling your money by folding it in half.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:17 | 2470316 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

JPMX

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2470324 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Once the Gov announces "bailout" the sky's the limit. The more the merrier.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2470325 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

No biggie, they left the 3 billion in their other pants. Happens to me all the time.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:20 | 2470329 Zola
Zola's picture

Tyler, we all know this is the case for all G-7 banks since 2009 when they suspended reality and we have all been prisoners of the Bernanke Hallucination Chamber ever since... May we be able to escape one day... 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:55 | 2470494 knukles
knukles's picture

The Matrix?
Can you escape?

To answwer a question with a question, I don't know; "Can you escape?"

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:53 | 2470575 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Death is the only escape. Or maybe Club Med...Medicated, that is...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:27 | 2470642 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

"Yes You Can..."

Vanuatu real estate for sale. Hi-speed broadband. Full cellular coverage. Power and water. Anonymous banking. No taxes.

http://www.ck.com.vu/listings/ressale/p/140

(I did, you can too, not that hard)

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:21 | 2470332 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Accountants?!

We don't need no stinkin accountants!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:16 | 2470522 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Is that pre-fit vs. PROfit?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:22 | 2470334 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Forgot to carry the 1.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:24 | 2470336 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Revise , rinse , repeat . The new three R's .

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:26 | 2470342 Hulk
Hulk's picture

This summer is building up to a big implosion. Germany demanding its gold be delivered will be the icing on the cake

Get gold while you can, comex leverage at 40 to 1 ain't going to cut it when the gig is up, and its about up...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:46 | 2470375 Alpacanio
Alpacanio's picture

My money is in July this whole thing topples. Maybe around the 4th? 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:28 | 2470343 Sutton
Sutton's picture

Our banks are so far ahead of Spain's.  WaMu, FanFred etc pulled this stunt in '07-08.

No shyster banksters  ever go to jail or drowns in bathtubs.  Only peak oil "nuts".

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:34 | 2470353 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Peak oilers drown in hot tubs. Drowning in bathtubs went out with the 70's...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:53 | 2470389 RoadKill
RoadKill's picture

If you are trying to imply some kind of conspiracy in Matt Simmons death you are a nut case, and you do his memory no service by doing so. I worked for Matt from 97-03. I knew him well. He was part of Bush's energy advisory panel, not a peak oil nutbag. He simply believed we were out of CHEAP (ie $20 Saudi crude) oil.

Btw even back then MRS had blood pressure and weight issues. And he loved wine and cigars. Once a Secratary told him it was illegal to smoke in an office if you had more then 100 employees, and his resoonse was that if people had a problem with it he could always find a way to get to 99 employees. So wine, cugar, high blood pressure and weight problems dont go well with hot tubs at 65+. Hell I have to get out of a hot tub after 10 min at 37.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:59 | 2470394 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I am a nut case (just ask my wife), but no, I do not believe Simmons was suicided...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:03 | 2470406 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

Well! Based upon an anonymous post my complete trust in our rulers has been fully restored

Thank you!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:33 | 2470349 johnnyyuma
johnnyyuma's picture

Bankia, MF Global, Enron, same damn same nobody knows where the dough went. No one is responsible. Iceland to the power of 10. Biggun scams coming home to roost.

 

 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:34 | 2470351 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

We never miss a chance... we get up and dance and do the Curly shuffle!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:34 | 2470354 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Accounting Fraud.  They hired some consultants from Lehman Brothers.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:41 | 2470364 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Liquidity is the optiate......Debt destruction is the medicine.

The space between the optiate and the medicine will determine what states survive and what states end up in some sort of "failed state" limbo.

Debt repudiation is the the only viable solution. The pain should be born by unsecured and in some cases secured debt holders. The longer the EU makes taxpayers back-stop banks and by extension sovereigns, the more likely that "failed state" limbo is accompained by social unrest. 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:14 | 2470427 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Debt jubilee has always been the answer, not monetization.

Sacrificing the future for the present leaves no future for anyone while at the same time diminishing present wages/earnings/labor.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:42 | 2470366 The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

Yes this is such shit...a mea culpa oh sorry for misstating our numbers..here are the real numbers

Please don't ask for disgorgement of ill gotten gains from officers and insiders and large institutional holders who were able to trade out their positions based on such bullshit numbers...

Nortel in Canada was notorious for this.....

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:09 | 2470417 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

I would be interested in looking at insider stock sales over the last six months

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:43 | 2470368 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"3.3 billion euro loss, rather than a 41 million euro profit"

Minor book keeping error.  So sorry.  Move along, nothing to see here...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:51 | 2470384 Hulk
Hulk's picture

The fraud and corruption on both continents is absolutely sickening...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:44 | 2470473 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Fraudian Slip.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:43 | 2470369 news printer
news printer's picture

HAHAHA BANKIA" "The Spanish newspaper, El Mundo fanned the fear by claiming that a further €30bn was required to rescue four other banks, CatalunyaCaixa, Novagalicia, Banco de Valencia."

www.rybinski.eu

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9296111/Mariano-Rajoy...

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:44 | 2470371 cdskiller
cdskiller's picture

Derivatives instruments will always be the tools of criminals. There is no way to allow their use and prevent their abuse. They must be banned like any other tax evasion or accounting scheme.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:46 | 2470373 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

How long before the same revelation is made about the "highly rated collateral" in Bernanke's closet, which supposedly is shipping profits to Geithner's treasury every quarter on behalf of the tax payers, and said collateral is found to be the worthless "residue" on Ben's books?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:56 | 2470393 westboundnup
westboundnup's picture

Loc'ed after dark.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 19:59 | 2470395 Freebird
Freebird's picture

The Spanish left two things wherever they went - religion & corruption. Anyone expecting the best here is de lu sion al. Geddit?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 23:21 | 2470717 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

Don't forget - it's three things - religion, corruption, and ruthless efficiency.

No - sorry, four things:  religion, corruption, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical dedication to the Pope.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:02 | 2470403 Conman
Conman's picture

OT: kyle bass might being getting paid soon, Bloomberg just flashed Japanese jobless rate higher than expected.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:12 | 2470416 bsdetector
bsdetector's picture

Has the ECB impliedly pledged its full faith and credit behind every bank that is capitalized by the Euro? Can the ECB just cut and run when it has offered up so much at this point? How will the ECB explain the losses to Greek bank depositors from other Euro nations? I suggest we are looking at new legal obligations that were not previously considered. In the US everyone knows the limit of FDIC insurance and is forewarned that deposits in excess of such are subject to losses; Euro area banks have no such limitation. If I am a Euro depositor I'd be looking to the ECB to recover my loss of deposit.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:49 | 2470484 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The result will be the same as we just had in the US with the mortgage fraud.  The banksters will just pay a small fine to the various governments and get a "get out of jail free card" for all of these sins.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:11 | 2470421 supersajin
supersajin's picture

Either way, 2012 will be the last year in the "system as usual" mode for world markets.  October suprise?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:12 | 2470423 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

When confidence wanes to the point that someone yelling bank run can cause a collapse of course the yeller is the evul one, not the governments and bankers who caused the loss of confidence.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:15 | 2470429 magpie
magpie's picture

Somehow, a bank run might even be bullish.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:26 | 2470444 bsdetector
bsdetector's picture

A bank run back stopped by the ECB is the only way Greeks are going to get new fiat into the country. The citizens of Greece are forcing the hand of the ECB.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:46 | 2470475 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

So far it is working. The greek people are ending up with the cash in the mattress and germany is holding even more IOUs from Target 2

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:54 | 2470577 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

I wish gas would last longer than 1 year, that is what I think will become very valuable. I can see a 5 gal. can of gas going for $200 when the SHTF, whereas I think gold/silver are going to decrease.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:19 | 2470432 adr
adr's picture

It isn't just the banks. It is nearl every public traded corporation. You're dreaming if you think anyone sells half what they claim.

Take away future booking of profit, inventory counted as an asset, and bring back some form of mark to market. In an instant billion dollar profits become billion dollar losses.

Just like how welfare causes overbreedin in the ghetto. Current accounting practices cause overproduction. America actually doesn't overconsume. At least 50% of all the product produced doesn't ever make it to the hands of a consumer. It is created to pump stock valuations, not to actually sell. Take away the incentive to juice a stock so insiders can sell, and half the inventory disappears.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:24 | 2470441 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Trying to suck in the Germans.  We are close to having everything solved, we just need x billion euros more.  6 months later, we are close to having everything solved, we just need xx billion euros more.  6 months later, we are close to having everything solved, we just need xxx billion euros more.  6 months later.......

(notice I didn't use rinse and repeat because I know there are members that are sick of that phrase but....)

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:49 | 2470480 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

Those stupid greeks seem pretty smart to me

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 00:12 | 2470791 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

for (i = 1; ; i++)

{

printf( "We just need %f billion Euroz more...\n", amt );

amt *= 10.0;

sleep( 15552000 ); // # of seconds in 6 months (avg)

}

 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:24 | 2470442 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Fat finger?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:25 | 2470443 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

And to think that banks where once places where you wanted to keep your money. What interesting times these are indeed.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:26 | 2470448 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

What faux accounting?! The best part is so many don't realize this is rampant at so many banks world wide.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:38 | 2470463 Some Bloke
Some Bloke's picture

Spot on!

Mark-to-market when bullshit asset valuations are being assed by valuers in the worldwide banking-accounting-insurance scam, the forgeddaboutit when the valuations crash back to normal.  No where's my bonus?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:53 | 2470489 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I think the real scary thing is that these losses don't include mark-to-market accounting losses.  These banks have negative infinity of positive assets.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:38 | 2470464 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

"Indicatively, the move from a profit to a €7 billion loss, in a US context, is roughly the same as if US bank holding company X were to go from being profitable to posting a nearly $100 billion loss."

I don't get the math here.  Can someone explain why this isn't just a straight currency translation?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:54 | 2470490 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

That is when compared as a proportion of GDP

Spanish GDP is so much smaller than USA GDP

A seven billion dollar hit to their banking system is the same as a hundred billion dollar hit to ours.

And that was just one bank. But remember there is never more than one cockroach lol

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:49 | 2470483 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Of course the Spanish bailout mechanism doesn't even have the funds to bail out Bankia.  They only have about 4.4 billion euros left BEFORE Bankia's bailout.  

To put some of these numbers in perspective for Spain, they're science budget is only around 5 or so billion euros a year. 

Will they dare to go to the markets to make up the difference? Nope they'll use gov't bonds instead. 

Glass-Steagall

 

 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:51 | 2470487 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

HAHAHAHA

We were making a profit, up till we found out our losses would be covered.....

And people wonder why bankers are hated?

 

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:52 | 2470488 veyron
veyron's picture

What's a few Billion EUROs between friends?

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:54 | 2470493 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Once RISK was transferred out of the financial system to the taxpayers, we stomped on the gas pedal and pointed the bus to the cliff.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 20:58 | 2470498 gimli
gimli's picture

Jaime just made another announcement, "upon further review we determined that rather then a growing multi-billion dollar loss, we've come full circle and are presently 41 million in the black."

Why not? Sounds like a believable number to me

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:01 | 2470503 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Bonuses are based on anticipated revenue. It's all good.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:02 | 2470505 riley martini
riley martini's picture

 Just like the accounting at fannie and freddie when the DNC was busting those two corporation out and robbing the shareholders. When shareholders were shocked by the losses at fannie the CFO revised the numbers to show a record profit.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:04 | 2470508 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this is an old trick we usta use selling salve from door-to-door to  shelter current income, er, candy purchases, so our moms would kick down

this is now 22Bil EUR needed from mom? 

...and...action!

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:11 | 2470515 Dr. Gonzo
Dr. Gonzo's picture

I saw almost the exact same thing happen in a scene from this movie:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GSXbgfKFWg

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:16 | 2470523 Rastamon
Rastamon's picture

 

 

 

Toilet and Douche ... uhh i mean Deloitte and Touche caught cookin the books again? yeah, would have NEVER guessed that

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:04 | 2470599 Matt
Matt's picture

You misread. They refused to sign off on the books, because they were cooked.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:32 | 2470541 jarrollin
jarrollin's picture

We have a 41 billion euro profit...errr...I mean a 3 billion euro loss....actually, it was a 41 billion euro profit until we factored in the losses...those numbers really ripped out the profits, to say the least...we should just admit, we basically suck at this...please shoot us now.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:05 | 2470605 Matt
Matt's picture

it's Turbo Taxes fault, it didn't highlight in red the part where you sort out the brackets and the decimal places and the zeroes.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:37 | 2470550 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Makes me wonder what JPM's and BAC's books really look like. I don't think this is just "a Spanish problem." Although it'll be spun that way.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 21:40 | 2470556 valkir
valkir's picture

OT-anyone in Europe ,please give me good site for on-line buy of "barbaric"stuff.Danke shoine in advance.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:07 | 2470610 traknologist
traknologist's picture

This is kinda like when a tsunami starts and the water at the beach recedes! 2 minutes later.....

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 23:35 | 2470738 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

If I was at the beach in Thailand on Dec 24th I would have had no idea what was happening. I swear I learned nothing in my 20 years of schooling.

Mon, 05/28/2012 - 22:42 | 2470669 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Europeans are playing Olympic Whack-a-Mole.  Just when it looked like the Mea Culpa Coalition (okay, Latin, not Greek) was taking the lead in the Greek polls, which would somehow save (sic) the euro and EU, Spain pops up with yet more sovereign debt and a larger hole in its banking system.  And Italy is waiting in the wings, just in case the sun also rises in Spain.  Record euro shorts?  Didn’t Pets.com and Lehman have record shorts at the end, too?

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 02:39 | 2470891 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

This would be great material for Dilbert.

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 03:21 | 2470912 Olympia
Olympia's picture

Loan sharks knew that if they took the dollars printing machines under their control they could suffocate the world ...they could initially suffocate USA and after taking the USA from the Americans, they could move and suffocate the whole world and take the countries from their people.

FED printed cheap money and loansharking multiplied this money in an unnatural way within the American economy boarders and they discarded them abroad so that they did not threaten USA. USA became the first state in the world with artificial “breathing”...

It cannot be possible but just in the USA for only the last year, more than one million houses were seized. It cannot be impossible but the New World has returned to tents and shelters ..has returned to the ages of Columbus. It cannot be possible that we allow to a few loan sharks looting the toils and the assets of people...

http://eamb-ydrohoos.blogspot.com/2012/01/global-debt-crisis.html

------------------------

Global Debt Crisis

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 04:48 | 2470945 cnhedge
cnhedge's picture

The European Debt Redemption (ERF) Fund in a Nutshell New
http://www.cnhedge.com/thread-5552-1-1.html

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 05:00 | 2470954 cnhedge
cnhedge's picture

The European Debt Redemption (ERF) Fund in a Nutshell New
http://www.cnhedge.com/thread-5552-1-1.html

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 08:22 | 2471108 falak pema
falak pema's picture

IT IS  scandalous that the bank should pull this skeleton out of the cupboard precisley when it declared a profit; it is even more scandalous that one of its top managers gets severance package of 13.8 million Euros for doing his "good" work in this huge crap house. Imagine a small guy gets the boot and no severance pay for professional fault of minor nature, wheras the boss man gets a golden handshake. There wont be enuff lamposts in the country...

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 08:31 | 2471141 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

thats the hardest part holmes......the compensation for running a PUBLIC company into the ground.....

 

THEY WOULD NEVER PULL THIS SHIT IF IT WERE THEIR OWN COMPANY......NO WAY NO HOW.....

 

They only try to kill themselves when it's not their lives at stake!

 get it?

 

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 09:14 | 2471282 falak pema
falak pema's picture

No I don't, Dick Fuld would prove you wrong like all the others! You seem to be one eyed Jack if you think greed doesn't kill the private banksta plutocrats! Its greed that is now a culture of banksta cabal, the public ones playing copy cat to their bigger private sector brothers of SCAM! Greed kills all sense of proportion.

Tue, 05/29/2012 - 08:30 | 2471129 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Pull whatever bullshit numbers you want out of your hat. Funny how companies ALWAYS beat by 1 penny.... "it's a put on....a put on...." fucking joke.

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