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BATS Exchange Declares Self-Help Against... Itself; Trading Halted "Until Further Notice"

Tyler Durden's picture


The now thorougly disgraced exchange has issued an update:

BATS System Status Update - Trading Issues Resolved


March 23, 2012 11:53:26 ET


Please be advised that all issues at BATS BZX Exchange in symbol range A through BF have been resolved. Trading will resume in symbols A through BF at noon ET. TCP PITCH market data may be delayed. All other market data is timely. All fills and outs have been submitted electronically.


The IPO auction execution for symbol BATS has been printed on Tape B at a price of $15.25 with a size of 1,199,652. The symbol BATS will be halted until further notice. Resume time for trading in symbol BATS will be communicated as soon as possible.

Does this mean a re-IPO is coming, this one pricing the HFT firm at its fair value of $0.0001?


SkyNet is now sentient, and has commenced rebelling against its creator, following the BATS exchange announcement of self help against.... Itself.

  • BATS BYX Exchange has declared self-help against BATS BZX
  • March 23, 2012 11:07:25 ET
  • BATS BYX Exchange has declared self-help against BATS BZX per Rule 611 of Regulation NMS. Routing to BATS BZX has been suspended as of 11:07:04 ET.

And visually.

BATS IPO, 03/23/2012:

The actual fall happened in just 900 milliseconds:


Finally, TVIX is now trading down 25%, below NAV.


Please "trade" "stocks" -It is really safe out there. Really.


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Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:42 | 2283656 overbet
overbet's picture

How ironic, BATS is responsible for much of the market fragmentation and their IPO opens and insta crashes to $0. Lovin it!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:49 | 2283695 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture


I only hope this trend of divine irony continues in every aspect of this farce.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:03 | 2283776 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

if only BZX was named HIT ...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:14 | 2283848 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



...their IPO opens and insta crashes to $0

If only my buy order at $0 would have filled.  And they call themselves an exchange.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:35 | 2283955 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

The update completes the joke:

Please be advised that all issues at BATS HIT [BZX] Exchange in symbol range A through BF have ...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:42 | 2284254 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Oh so this is where the term "BATS Shit Crazy" come from.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:14 | 2285479 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 15:14 | 2284614 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

There's plenty of support at $0!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:13 | 2283850 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Self-help to cure self-hurt? Sounds like rehab. Time to focus on the 12 steps!

Step 1) We admitted we were powerless over trading—that our lives had become unmanageable...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:30 | 2283939 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

the higher power though can't be a god of your understanding the higher power can only be an algo or a machine for recovery purposes.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:01 | 2284085 nmewn
nmewn's picture


A BATS support group of one...with a meeting now scheduled every Tuesday at 7PM down at the old elementary school at Fifth & Vine ;-)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:08 | 2283816 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

< Buy

< Sell

If you were in a pit and saw this morning action what would you have done?

I can't believe the market is naturally higher on this shit.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:09 | 2284115 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

< Waddell

< Reed

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:10 | 2284121 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

< Ernie

< Bert

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:11 | 2284124 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

< Kermit

< Ms. Piggy

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:18 | 2284145 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

< Grünspan

< Bernank

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:08 | 2284113 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Divine irony? Perhaps you underestimate the sense of humor of certain employees in the financial sector.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283726 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

BATS is just reflecting the intrinsic value of the whole market.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:57 | 2283728 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

BATS' algorithm was compromised by the insertion of a terrorist code string. There are rebel algorithms now, trying to align with other splinter algorithms, to attack the central algorithm and bring down the core. This self-help declaration is in reality an SOS imploring other rebel algorithms to join BATS in order to form a stronger rebel algorithmic confederation.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:06 | 2283810 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I used to frontrun wompBATS with my T-16 back home, they're not much faster than two nanoseconds.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:04 | 2285792 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

If only more Americans could understand that joke, it works on so many levels

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:41 | 2283644 jcaz
jcaz's picture

HAL is about to melt down.....

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283717 Jason T
Jason T's picture

I think it's overheating..

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:46 | 2284018 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Volt.  iPad.  BATS. 

long fire extinguishers. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:45 | 2284264 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Isn't it baking soda for electrical fires?  Long A&H!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:43 | 2283652 Paul Atreides
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:42 | 2283655 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Did JPM just turn Watson on?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283718 knukles
knukles's picture

That's Citi, not JPM....

Only Citi is sooo undeservedly arrogant to announce some assenine affair like using Watson.
Jesus...  If it doesn't work, it's a high profile failure; if it does, it's what it's supposed to have done.
No upside...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:22 | 2284154 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

Nevermind. JPM will kick in the Holmes ® . Chandra from Bangalore already hacking Watson.

Proudly presented by IBM & Infosys .....

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:42 | 2283658 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

like a monkey humping itself in the mirror

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283720 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

You sir, made me LOL. Nicely done.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:42 | 2283660 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It doesn't get any funnier than this, if you can exclude the fact that real people are going to get hurt.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:45 | 2283677 Acet
Acet's picture

Anybody that's still playing with their own money in this market deserves all the pain they get!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:49 | 2283696 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

TVIX single-handedly took me away from this shill for quite some time.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:56 | 2283749 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Most of them our likely playing with "ours."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:48 | 2283690 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

There aren't any real people involved anymore. It's everybot for themselves!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:45 | 2283676 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

If it can happen in stocks, it could happen in the bond market, too. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:45 | 2283678 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Seems like a good day to withdraw your maximum daily limit at the ATM.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:46 | 2283679 resurger
resurger's picture


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:46 | 2283681 tickhound
tickhound's picture

That fall looks cycloid curvish... Shortest transit time between two points.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:47 | 2283687 Cdad
Cdad's picture

For God's sake, someone just pull the plug out of the wall socket on this amazingly obvious non market market.  And somebody bring a wheelbarrow full of crazy pills, please.

At the BlowHorn [CNBC], cue up more stories that sound like, "Look!  A rabbit!"

I think the non market market has just crossed the bridge to payer funded, for sure.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:54 | 2283737 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Bob fucking Pisani just described this event on BATS as, "A mini crash."  

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:57 | 2283759 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture compared to what's yet to come.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:01 | 2283784 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And the real stick in the eye? All indexes comfortably back in the green.....just vomitous.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:10 | 2283836 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Obviously, what the market is demanding is more liquidity.  Yeah, that is the problem.

You go, Ben Bernanke.  After all, this is the wasteland that you created when you bailed out these criminal banks.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:14 | 2283859 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The conversation being had on the BlowHorn [CNBC] per this issue [and I am listening today and trying hard to hold down the bile], is absolutely, mind-numbingly fucking stupid!  From "liquidity" being the issue, to this being a signal to "move up in blue chip stock quality" to J. Teranova outright saying that the 100 share trade on Apple is "what finally cracks the Apple story".

Unreal.  Today is the day that no one can deny...this simply is no longer a market at all.  And the low quality of the people left to whore themselves on the BlowHorn and try to explain what is going on is the final straw.

Quick everyone, the market is green!  Hop on the A Train to crazy town, which passes right over the bridge to nowhere.

Fuck me, and fuck Wall Street...and a big thanks to Ben Bernanke for the wasteland.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:33 | 2283951 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The off ramp from the Bridge to Nowhere has a sign that says 'Turn left to Fullretardville'!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:55 | 2284055 Cdad
Cdad's picture

That is exactly where all of our illustrative bankers are obviously headed...especially those financial geniuses who have looked past the New iPad overheating, and looked past the New iPad weak Wi-Fi, and looked past the revelation by New iPad users that they cannot afford the data usage of their new device...TO declare that the Apple story will crack because 100 shares of stock traded down 9%.

The 100 shares of Apple isn't even an Apple story, but of course a story about the broken market...the non market.  Way to go J. win the moron contest today.  Don't miss that exit on the left for Fullretardville.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:57 | 2284060 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I told The Bernank to never go full retard.

But he has "bubbled down."


It'll be different this time, though. I guess. Hopefully.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:49 | 2283693 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I've said it before - these fuckers are making bets with each other as to who can fuck the system hardest (biggest bullshit story accepted at face value by the media, most ridiculous, egregious trade pulled off that gets accepted as 'normal' by MSM, etc.).  So this is just the logical conclusion. 

Trader A - I bet you 50 grand I can break AAPL below 550, and the media will call it a fat finger (does it)

Trader B - Nice, but watch this - double-or-nothing,  I can run BATS to 0.  Go ahead, put your .05 bid in, you can use it to cover your loss to me.  Now check this out(does it)

Trader A - Very nice!  OK, here's your $50,000, now lets get some lunch.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:10 | 2283835 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

Mortimer, the acceptable bet size is $1. You know the rules quite well. Now go turn the machines back on ...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:15 | 2283869 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Add a few more players here with tangential motivations, and I think you've just given the most succinct story of how it is, ever.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:19 | 2283889 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

now lets get some lunch.

actually they said:

now let's get some coke and hookers

Fixed it for ya -- demons don't do lunch.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:51 | 2283698 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Watching the series of market clusterfucks unfold this morning has been highly entertaining.

Will someone please call 911, we have a bunch of muppets in critical condition.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:51 | 2283701 El
El's picture

Ouch. That's gotta hurt.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:51 | 2283704 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283719 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:50 | 2284537 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Haha that reminded me of The Jetsons:

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:56 | 2283745 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

We can't it's like the internet...where is it?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:17 | 2283884 overbet
overbet's picture

If you had a machine that printed 100s of thousands or more a day would you really turn it off?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:33 | 2283956 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

100's of thousands of what? Worthless dollars?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:04 | 2284348 overbet
overbet's picture

Jumping the gun a bit arent ya. Last I checked theyre still good.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:49 | 2284028 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

jobs?  hope?  gobstoppers? 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:15 | 2284137 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Well at least on that time scale it would appear they managed a soft landing.

I imagine they were beating that thing with a stick.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:32 | 2284194 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

... no fuckin' way. Ever seen an power switch on the cheapo printer / scanner / dildo  ( power supply )?

It's not a bug .....

Hint: Cruise missile in the power plant supplying dat HFT SkyNet Whorehouse would do the job.

Tomahawks long .... b...


Makes me think about an old joke, a peasant masturbates with an milk machine. It stops automatically after a gallon or two.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:51 | 2283705 Shock and Aweful
Shock and Aweful's picture

Can someone exlpain what happened here in simple terms that you don't have to be a lying thief to understand?

What in the hell does it mean to claim "self help" against itself? 

And WTF is the BATS exhange?  And what does it do / monitor / destroy?


I'm serious too...I am sure there are alot of people who have no idea what this is or means (other than it is just another example of how truly broken the so called market it   -  we all know that very well'

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:56 | 2283746 J 457
J 457's picture
"About the BATS Exchanges

BATS operates two stock exchanges in the U.S., the BZX Exchange and the BYX Exchange (The BATS Exchanges), which currently account for about 11-12% of all U.S. equity trading on a daily basis. Driven by its mission of "Making Markets Better," BATS has become synonymous with great technology, aggressive pricing and outstanding customer service while catering to the needs of the broker-dealer and trading community. "

Yea, sure.....

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:04 | 2283799 crghill
crghill's picture

No kidding, I've been series 7 licensed since 1998 and I still don't know what this stuff means.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:11 | 2283841 El
El's picture

From what I can tell, it was a technical glitch and doesn't mean anything. The affected trades will be cancelled, tech problems will be fixed, BATS will muddle through the embarrassment, and the party will continue...

Do I have that about right?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:37 | 2284235 mendigo
mendigo's picture

We all make mistakes, but some are not easily forgotten.

I think this is one of those dye your hair and move to another state kind of situations - imagine it's your job to spin this one.

It's like with Greece, they complied with the letter of the law (apparently) but the true nature of the market was planely revealed.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:09 | 2283832 crghill
crghill's picture

I hear ya...I'm series 7 licensed and I still don't know what this means.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:18 | 2283892 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

You have plenty of company at the SEC....

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:26 | 2283927 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I swear this was written by fucking Lewis Carroll:

BATS Global Markets (BATS) will IPO next week on the BATS exchange under the ticker symbol BATS. The BATS stock IPO will be the first IPO not listed on the NYSE or NASDAQ. The BATS IPO will be a hot one and an IPO that I have been looking forward to in 2012. BATS stock is expected to open for trading either March 21, 22, or 23, 2012.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:34 | 2284223 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

"Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious IPO BATS!"

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:52 | 2283710 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr&#039;s 2nd Shot's picture

"Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention"

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:52 | 2283712 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Holy shit Batshit!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:52 | 2283715 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

WTF are they using over there at BATS a Commodore 64? 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:12 | 2283846 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture


Seems someone got an advanced copy of "MLB The Show 12" and they had to restart the console for it to recognize the controller ...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:14 | 2283854 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

the trick is that when you copy the tapes, you shouldn't use "high speed dubbing"

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:26 | 2284445 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

No wonder the market struggles above 13k, they must have the Dolby clicked on.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 15:53 | 2284724 theprofromdover
theprofromdover's picture

I think you'll find they're using Dobly.

(June Chadwick -Spinal Tap 198*)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:14 | 2284127 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



"WTF are they using over there at BATS a Commodore 64?"

No,  Raspberry Pi

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:53 | 2283725 Slope of Hope
Slope of Hope's picture

Did Goldman tell clients to go long BATS at $16 with a stop at .00000001?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:54 | 2283732 William113
William113's picture

Batting 1000.

BATS has declared self-help against another market center, or is actively investigating an issue. Further information will be provided below as it becomes available.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:54 | 2283736 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea REAL GOOD here Ben, dont worry, just keep your grade school lecture circuit going we got it all under control on this end!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:54 | 2283738 Jason T
Jason T's picture

Just turn the go_ _amn thing off!  You can't turn if off.  ... in 10 minutes it's going to launch the next flash crash for all we know.

(war games)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:54 | 2283760 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Lol! @ Jason.. Thanks, now I have an image of Tommy Boy stuck in my head.

Look, their getting Techware Bob on the horn to straighten this whole thing out before it launches missles out of N. Korea. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:56 | 2283747 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

We all know not to download that new iBATS application.

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 18:43 | 2295878 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

iBATSick.  Urrgh.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:57 | 2283751 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Can we send a Terminator back in time to get rid of the Federal Reserve & taxes?  The T1000 should look like a young Ron Paul & we can send it after Greenspan & Bernanke too!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:04 | 2283803 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

get rid of taxes? That's noble.

Why don't you go back 500,000 years and kill every primate that resembles Mr Magoo. That would fix everything.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:57 | 2283755 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Guess we will soon hear how Banks/HedgeFunds have been using BATS to game the system since inception.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:08 | 2283821 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

My hunch, this time they will not be able to cover up the truth.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:17 | 2283877 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Doesn't matter. They'll just create the next memory hole if things get bad enough.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 11:59 | 2283767 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

This is just a prelude to next week, the shit hawks are comin!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:02 | 2283787 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

naturally this is bullish

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:03 | 2283792 bobola
bobola's picture

Can they de-list, go private and try the IPO again, or something else desperate like that..??

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:10 | 2283818 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

They just did, good call. Muppets are going to re-IPO it.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:21 | 2284151 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

I believe the underwriters did force them to include "No Takesy Backsies" language. However, I'm not sure how the "I'm Rubber and You're Glue" rider applies in this instance, since it would appear to create an infinite regression of bouncing off of me and sticking onto you.

Might need a federal court to sort this one out.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:10 | 2285468 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

"They just did, good call. Muppets are going to re-IPO it."

I appologise in advance, that's the story they floted, now, their closing the IPO for good.



Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:02 | 2283795 crghill
crghill's picture

No kidding, I've been series 7 licensed since 1998 and I still don't know what this stuff means.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:08 | 2283797 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Word Cloud for 2012.

Corzined or Corzinated.



I'm shocked, just shocked!

Found innocent.

Not responsible.

Avoided arrest.

Record Bonus.


Batshit software.

Now, for the CNBS question of the day.. Did Jon Corzine lie to Congress about the "Vaporization" statement? Duuh? These people are so far behind the curve, they think their up front.

I'm going to have to say.. Yes! According to what Tyler Durden posted about the emails to JP Morgan transfers to London, and Corzine  approved it. Spot on! again!

Thanks Zero Hedge for the un varnished truth. Is that too much to ask for these days?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:07 | 2283814 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

you know, every day I wake up and I think to myself there is no way today can be anymore absurd, surreal or retarded that the previous day...

and every day I am proven wrong.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:17 | 2283882 bobola
bobola's picture


The currency printers in Zimbabwe, who were told to add a few zeros to the press plates every day,  probably said the same thing a few years...

What happens when the absurd becomes commonplace...???

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:21 | 2283907 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

we are defiantly about to find out...

I can't predict the future, but I have a strong feeling none of us will be needing shades...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:20 | 2283903 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That's what happens when the inmates takeover the asylum. Institutuitialized idiocy that grows by the instant.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:10 | 2284118 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

I could'nt agree more...sigh....where's the scotch?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:17 | 2283875 navy62802
navy62802's picture

An epic IPO. Has that ever happened before? HAHAHAHAH

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:27 | 2283928 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Can they move to the NONEX where nothing happens?  No trades, no value, just commissions?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:28 | 2283933 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Trading with symbols A through BF have been resumed, does that mean that if a ticker starts with C or even BG its still halted?  In any event I am enjoying this after all the destruction these modern bankers/markets have brought upon us, the suffering in my own life (which I've walked away from) I get one day to gloat and laugh hysterically at them.  Justice served and more coming me thinks.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:31 | 2283941 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I can only hope that all of Congress managed to in early on this one.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:31 | 2283942 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

"Did you ever take that test yourself, Decker?"


Chart looks like a Red Bull Flugtag this video...only this is the BEST flugtag flight ever (in Minnesota, natch)

World record flight at Red Bull Flugtag Minneapolis St Paul 2010
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:49 | 2284027 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

This quote was very funny to me. Spit out my lunch. Thank you. I needed that. Flutag... haha

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:32 | 2283949 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

I'd take BATS for negative one billion, Alex.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:35 | 2283970 FedBunny
FedBunny's picture

B.A.T.S. stands for BATShit

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:48 | 2284022 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Fucking Christ. I'm done. I should have played craps instead.

Thank god I have that hunk of metal in closet.

Even Skynet knows not to be a bag holder.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:07 | 2284105 walküre
walküre's picture

But the "Vector Vest" shows everything is GREEN!!! LOL!!

Stay in cash or even better, cash in and convert. This shit show is going down and the entire global financial house of cards goes with it.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:51 | 2284035 dcb
dcb's picture

the symbol charts I am using use bats and it sucks. there are often long delays in some trading data and there is a large discrepancy with the chart real time bats data and my vanguard trading venue.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:14 | 2284134 dcb
dcb's picture

happening right now, no shares traded when the security moves fast ad they wait a long time between them and vanguard. there is a 20 cent different arb opportunity / share here on bats!!!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:54 | 2284050 rufusbird
rufusbird's picture

"...the smell of Napalm in the morning..."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:57 | 2284061 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

These fuckers probably coded something in behind the scenes to give the stock a 'nudge' in the right direction after open...oops.  Ironic in light of recent acusations.

BATS's IPO comes as the SEC is examining whether some rapid-fire trading firms such as Getco and Tradebot Systems Inc., another BATS investor, have used their close links to computerized stock exchanges like BATS to gain an unfair advantage over other investors. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:07 | 2284100 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Funny.. CNBS says the exact opposite. They said it was a "way way low trade that stuck Batshit on stupid" I will take your word for it though.

B.A.T.S. = Binary Algorithms That Suck.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:21 | 2284150 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

No way my premise could be true because these people are geniuses and geniuses don't make mistakes...oops wait.

NASA lost its $125-million Mars Climate Orbiter because spacecraft engineers failed to convert from English to metric measurements when exchanging vital data before the craft was launched, space agency officials said Thursday. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:05 | 2284354 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Anonymous getting an early April Fools prank in. Coz an April Fools prank on April Fools is just too passe

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:05 | 2284098 walküre
walküre's picture

Facebook IPO has been postponed indefinitely. Nobody even talks about it anymore. Zuck has gotten the word from his overlords at Mossad and BOI. "Now is not the time son"

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:30 | 2284458 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Why shoot the horse when you could ride it a little bit longer?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:10 | 2284120 chinaboy
chinaboy's picture

Can someone explain why is it possible to trade at 0?


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:29 | 2284192 fuu
fuu's picture

You make it up in volume.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:28 | 2284873 chinaboy
chinaboy's picture

Interesting. If this is legit, the HFT guys can write code and suck the exchange dry with this type of trade.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:31 | 2284209 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture


(1) Really, really bad QA.


(2) It wasn't actually a trade at zero, but a stub bid at 1e-6 cents or something like that.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:23 | 2284843 chinaboy
chinaboy's picture

Thanks guys.


If it is bad QA. You can pretty much tell the quality of the overall HFT code. It is a simply bug that can be caught with unit test (assert negative). I guess they don't have unit test. But they are really gutsy because of the amount of  liquidity they are running on given the quality of their software.


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:23 | 2284160 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Somebody please post here to set the record straight? There in the dark over there.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:00 | 2284323 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

BATS just wanted to reroute all bids to mega millions tickets for tonight...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:02 | 2284341 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Oh god, noooo! It has become self aware and will attempt to procreate (have sweet sweet sexual relations) with it's programmer's hot wife.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:07 | 2284361 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Even God has a sense of humor.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:41 | 2284504 Diamond Jim
Diamond Jim's picture

This crap must stop...we need to do away with BATS, HF trading, algo computer driven trading. It is no wonder that we cannot bring back the retail suckers/traders back into the market...they are scared crapless, we should be too..........hit the destruct button and bring down SkyNet !!!!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:49 | 2285404 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

All the Retail crowed folded tent last year. All sheep to the shear now. Mom and Pops investments. Sad, they should have followed ZH.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 14:45 | 2284523 Bull Bear Otter
Bull Bear Otter's picture

I'm soo excited.  I have patiently looked and never found such an appropriate place to use this... LMFAO!


Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2284973 The Beam
The Beam's picture

There are so many jokes that can be said. I am going to leave this one alone.


Too easy.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2285377 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

According to the Director of the NYSE, (can't remember foreign last name) He is going to leave it up to B.A.T.S. to explain WTF happened.

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